Our Second Secret Spot!

February 24, 2021

Here’s a quick scan of the second “secret” spot I discovered just yesterday, where the pooches can romp around and explore without interference from other dogs and owners. It’s barely less than two blocks from the first secret spot…how handy!


This is on our way to the second secret spot. Notice the pups have new harnesses! They need a little adjusting, which I’ll get around to later. I love how Lucky kicks up his chunky legs after relieving himself.


This is another “secret” spot where the brindlekin can get some exercise without other dogs or people present. “Exercise” in quotes, because all they really wanted to do was sniff around and explore. Oh, well!


Just sniffing about, high on the scents of chlorophyll and dirt! I did manage to get them to run about for a little while, but it was less than two minutes. They DO chase after birds…so maybe I can trap one and train it, to get them motivated. Ha-ha, just kidding…chirp, chirp!


Thank You, Pandemic!

February 22, 2021

An unexpected benefit of this current plague (at least from THIS antinatalist’s perspective), is that children’s playgrounds are now empty, thus my pups have access to them, without my having to worry about the usual dog parks with so many irresponsible pet owners and their sketchy canines! For that reason, I NEVER take them to such parks, but keep them leashed while outside, at all times. I was hoping to find some little spot where they COULD run freely, and I finally found one! But they don’t seem to get the hint, that they can romp about to their heart’s content, as this video and the next one so clearly show. But the third one is the charm!


They STILL don’t get the hint that they are now free to run about and play! This is a safe, lovely little park totally void of any other dogs or people. And the first time I’ve ever let them off the leash in public, since I adopted them back in early January.


At last, they grasp the concept of running about unleashed! What a delight to see them revel in this newfound little patch of earth, sand, trees and grass. This is the first time I’ve ever unleashed them in public, since I adopted them January 7th.


Prophetic Insights & Speculation

February 20, 2021

Subject: Prophetic Insights & Speculation
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 6:59 PM

Regarding my “avatar” nature, and the extraordinary implications therein, here are some recent thoughts:The culmination of my destiny is NOW…that is, starting this year and reaching a climax before year’s end. All signs point to that, based on the extraordinary circumstances now unfolding in my life, which began on the eve of Halloween last year. DOCUMENTED in Brindlekin Tales, with the first chapter, “More Than a Hole in the Ground,” date stamped October 30th, 2020.

1. A major trigger for this culmination comes from the extraordinary inspiration of two amazing little doggies now in my life, of which Brindlekin Tales is THE major evidence, through the telling thereof. I do not exaggerate when I proclaim that Lucky & Flaco are a gift from the gods (through the hand of my most irksome friend, Deek, who is homeless). And by “gods,” I mean something akin to those in Greek mythology (probably reptilians playing those deities because they know how much I love that genre)…though ultimately an invisible consciousness spread across the cosmos and beyond, that I prefer to call “Universal Mind.”

2. I don’t think my fame and empowerment will come through getting my book published…or any other usual, normal channel. But will, instead, be the result of more and more people turning onto my WordPress blog, Youtube Channel, Twitter site, and/or my Facebook posts. My newfound admirers will then start flooding my GoFundMe account with a rapidly increasing amount of funds that will climb into the millions. And I will suddenly receive so MANY gifts via my Amazon Doggy Wish List, that I will have to start HANDING OUT most of them to OTHER folks with canine pets, especially the homeless. This stunning rise in popularity will also lead to burgeoning donations through a PayPal account that I have yet to open, and similar services for receiving money from my fans. Most of whom will be ecstatically overJOYED to contribute a small percentage of their income each month, just for moi, withOUT any specific goal in mind, such as my doggy charity.

For they simply KNOW that I will spend (or redistribute) the monies in the most compassionate ways possible! Because that is the kind of person I am, and PROOF of that is all over cyberspace, and has been since the day I joined the Internet, back in the mid-80s when it was all about BBSing.

3. But I also surmise something UNSUSPECTED will likely rocket me to stardom, instead…a surprise if you will, for that is part of this game so cleverly devised by our Reptilian Guardian Angels. So there is no point in conjecturing the possibilities, since they are INFINITE. However, I have had visions over many years of my book (or books) showing up all of a sudden, one day, in the windows of every bookstore around the world! Without my ever lifting a finger to make this happen. IOW: I have a lot of allies working on my behalf, on an international level, that I don’t even know about. That incredible vision first happened YEARS ago, back in 1997…and I wrote about it, here:

The Birth of the Final Testament
http://www.gay-bible.org/write/4_birth.htm

4. A network of kindred souls shall crystallize across the globe this year, with Larkin and myself at the helm. You shall also be a major figure within the network, as my most trusted military advisor, or, as I called you in my tale, Misfortune is a Cookie Named Zeke: “the Osmium Empress.” You will number among the highest tier of this network, alongside myself and Larkin. Amazing people in the company of other amazing people! Or, better said: “Amazing people in the company of amazing Reptilians!” Randolph Taylor will be with us, too…OF COURSE, IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW! Randolph, who told me in a dream, that he never even went to Vietnam, nor did he really attempt to kill himself…it was all a RUSE for my benefit: that I grow in wisdom and become a hero!

Well THAT was fun. This is the piece I began writing, when the nasty building manager disrupted my creative flow, and forced me to spend two agonizing days documenting everything around his threat. What a fountain of misery he is, gushing toxic waste in every direction! Hazmat should quarantine the vermin. He’s nuts, and he has the KEY to my room, he could even plant drugs in it and report me, or commit any other sort of mischief. HE’S GOTTA GO, NOW!!!

How am I gonna do my laundry any more, or go shopping for groceries, or walk the doggies, when I know at any time while I’m out, Kevin could be mucking about my hovel?

  • Zeke

Re: Prophetic Insights & Speculation
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 18, 2021 10:00 AM

It gives me great pleasure to contemplate all of this. Extremely refreshing in this veil of gloom.

Glad I can help! I’m an eternal light in this forest of darkness. Nothing will EVER snuff me out…I’ve made it to the finish line, so game over, I won. :)

You need a motion-activated surveillance camera.

You mean like this?

Click here to view item on Amazon.

Definitely affordable, I’ll look into these devices further. Maybe Kevin will keel over before I have to spend the money on a security device…that would be awesome; I’d celebrate with a nice Chianti and a side of fava beans. Thanks!

  • Zeke

Subject: My solution: not do anything…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 18, 2021 11:06 AM

…except perhaps to email him this message:

–begin

To put your mind at ease regarding my doggies running free in the lobby: I do NOT let them run from my room, but wait until I get to the landing, and see if anyone is in the lobby or at the gate. If there is no one at either place, I let them have their little run to the entryway, where I can quickly pick up the leashes should someone show up at the gate, during that time. But if the coast ISN’T clear, I keep a hold on the leashes the entire time. Hope you have a lovely day.

–end

This IS the right way to handle it, based on my Bodhisattva Premise…for I really have nothing to worry about…no one does, actually. Any defensive response is a form of worry or anxiety, and thus is a less satisfactory solution. Everything went in my favor recovering the pups from Deek…and I remained calm through it all, and did NOT cave in to angst. ALL things are going my way, in spite of the occasional disruption. I just need to learn a bit better, how to release any further anxieties, including those brought on by the building manager.

What say you, Wattson? I won’t even send that email if you suggest to hold back on that, too.

  • Ezekiel K-Holmes

Re: My solution: not do anything… [addendum]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 18, 2021 11:47 AM

And, perhaps, adding this second paragraph:

–begin:

The rest of your gripes are bogus, and certainly unbecoming of ANY building manager. I hope you did not REALLY send a cc to Ablahblah Realty, as it reflects badly on yourself. Personally, I have NO interest in jeopardizing your position as manager, though you seem to be doing a good job of it on your own. Your childish behavior DOES put me between a rock and a hard place, which may force my hand to register an official complaint against you. So PLEASE cease with your mean-spirited nonsense. IOW: the viciousness of which you speak is NOT coming from the dogs.

–end

More on my Bodhisattva Premise: I don’t really NEED an attorney, or any other mundane assistance, because I ALREADY have the best assistance of all: Universal Mind, karma, Reptilian spirit ghosts, guardian angels, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Artemis, the SFPD, or whatever. Call it what you will, but all signs through my extraordinary episodes these past several months give strong indication of that. Nonetheless, if the attorney I’ve been trying to contact SHOULD offer to take on my case, that’s fine, too. I am reminded of how you used your OWN words to save you from losing your house, without ANY legal assistance.

And more on S. Rohan’s remarkable illustration of the three cherubs: my choice of THAT image among the fifteen others she drew, may not only be due to the succor I gain from displaying it on my laptop screen. Perhaps they also are sending me a message that money is coming soon, once again…just like it did in my original vision of them, as adult angels who assured me cash would show up at just the right time, which it did. (It was Ms. Rohan who transformed them into cherubs, per her own inspiration.) The first time around, it took less than three months for the moolah to show up, which allowed me to fly out to D.C. to stand by Randolph, where his hospital bed COULD have wound up also being his death bed. Let’s see how soon a monetary windfall happens this time around.

Lastly, an update regarding my progress with the pooches: they now obey my “Shhh!” command more readily, and thus bark a lot less when exiting or entering the building…in fact, almost never. When we ran the gauntlet up and down Noe Street this morning, similar progress was shown. I just stop them and say “Shhh!” and they calm down. A couple of employees at the Mediterranean restaurant around the corner who set up the outdoor seating, love the doggies, despite their mad barking when they approach. But not this time around…when they reached out their hands, Flaco did not bark at all, but sniffed their hands, while Lucky DID bark, but nowhere near as vociferously. Also, as we proceeded further down the street, an older man who tends the corner garden saw us and said, “Uh-oh, here they come!” For they would bark at him as we passed, in previous times. However, today they did not, and he was impressed. So my pups ARE getting known, noticed and appreciated by some of the regulars we walk by. Who have been of GREAT assistance in helping them socialize better, now that they are no longer in the position as Deek’s guard dogs, where living on the streets 24/7 caused them to be overly protective.

  • Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: The Dogs of Artemis
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 18, 2021 3:55 PM

Wattson: I’ve been meaning to get around to finding out the names of Artemis’s dogs, which I always thought were two, as that is how I’ve seen them depicted in paintings and statues. But it seems she had a whole passel of ’em! At least, according to this post on Reddit, from last year:

–begin:

I could not find their names, but Artemis had 14 dogs: two black-and-white dogs, three reddish ones, and one spotted one, as well as “seven bitches of the finest Arcadian race”.

–end

Here is the URL for the entire thread:

Yet I STILL don’t know their names, even though I now do those of Acteon…whom Artemis had ordered ripped to shreds by his OWN hounds, after she first turned him into a stag! That’s all in the same thread, BTW.

Why my particular interest in Artemis, besides my general love of Greek mythology? Because she and her twin brother Apollo played a major role in my visions that occurred in the 90s, which inspired me to compose a poem in her honor, and appears on my Gay Bible site. But I’ll post it here as well:

PRAYER TO ARTEMIS
by Ezekiel Krahlin

Oh Artemis, Brave Artemis, Goddess of
The Sacred Hunt, and Savior of Apollo
(For whom Your life was sacrificed
With others soon to follow)!

Perseus had wrought a silver belt made
From Medusa's Snake, for You to wear
Around Your waist to grant complete
     protection
From blow or slash of club or sword,
     or any other weapon.

In Armageddon You did fight battle after
     battle:
Chaste, courageous in Your might,
Standing strong within the light...
Unstained, unslain, unharmed, and
     undefeated.

Yet the final skirmish had not been
     played
When Apollo lay wounded, dying, flayed,
Blood streaming from His valiant chest--
For the Beast of Lies had done his best
To doom the God of Healing to dark,
     eternal rest!

Unswerving in Your heart with courage
     like no other,
You gird the silver belt around Your
     dearest brother.
Upon that act You were suddenly flung
Beneath the hooves of Satan's steed,
And died...unnoticed, unshrouded,
     unsung.

Apollo rose to conquer all,
In this, the last, and greatest,
     war.

To honor You, a sister true, each eve He
     prays and faces west,
The direction in which You died.
Tears do grace His handsome face as He
     looks up to the sky:

Your blood now stains the sunset with
     virgin red-rose hues,
Spilled across the battlefield of deep
     azures and crystal blues!

But I still don’t know the names of her dogs, to my disappointment. Seeing as these incredible Brindlekin Tales arise directly from the inspiration of my two canine companions, and that Artemis has come to me in visions in a former decade, discovering the names of her dogs seems an important thing for me to know. It hounds me no end, yet I keep barking up the wrong tree…even Yelp fails me! Oh, well, back into the doghouse I go…and me without a bone to pick!

Your punny sleuth who’s at times uncouth,

Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes

PS: As for her brother, I wrote various pieces, including this one:

SONG OF APOLLO
by Ezekiel Krahlin

Thou art fair as the green corn
   bending in the sky.
Thou art the blossom, the nectar,
   and the fruit of my eye.
Thou art gracious as a lamb
   born in spring.
Thou art the resurrection of dreams
   for which I joyfully sing.

Re: My solution: not do anything…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 18, 2021 11:20 PM

At this point, I think he might be amenable to walking back his threat that you must get rid of the dogs. Give him some wriggle room to do the right thing. I would send him the message below. Save the “addendum” paragraph to use if/when he responds negatively.

Yep, that’s exactly what I’ll do, and I’ll make the subject title, “Chillax, Dude!” The email goes out in a minute. Thanks! My god, it’s such a royal pain in the ass dealing with the pinheads of this world.


Subject: Killer Dogs!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 19, 2021 11:28 AM

Took the pups out in a light rain this morning, then went to Rosenberg’s for coffee, where they waited outside, hitched to a parking meter. As I paid the clerk I suddenly heard Lucky & Flaco barking up a hurricane, so I looked towards them to see a feisty mofo trying to walk THROUGH them, as they snarled and nipped at his feet. He then came screeching into the shop: “Those are killer dogs! Get them outta here!” and other horrid nonsense. Apparently, he had just pulled up in his vehicle and, instead of walking AROUND the other end of his car, decided to set foot right between the dogs’ leashes.

IOW: he intentionally stirred up trouble. Otherwise, why on Lilith’s blue and green and brown earth, would anyone DO that? WHO intentionally walks into the middle of two leashed dogs, riling them up as a result, unless they’re looking to create trouble? They see a couple of adorable mutts and are jealous, because SO unhappy with their own lives. I think that’s an apt analysis, don’t you, my good Dr. Wattson?

He was awfully UGLY in the face, so I could see why he goes out of his way to stir up feces: the mirror he looks into every day when he arises, despises him. Anyway, I addressed the bastard:

“Sir, they are my dogs and they will be gone WITH me in a moment!”

He failed to respond, but barged on over to the canned malt liquor section for the morning brewski he so desperately craved. Typical, nasty alcoholic. One would think these bodhisattva pranks attempting to scare me over losing the pups should have ended by now…seeing as, these days, I very quickly overcome any consequential anxiety attacks, to resume a pacific demeanor. But no, they’re pushing the envelope to the max, EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN DAY! The challenge, of course, is that I learn to remain calm and assured through it all ASAP. Which I perfectly understand, and appreciate, for it gives me greater strength and courage than ever before.

But really, this is harassment in the highest degree: from the gods themselves! Now what kind of attorney, what kind of court, and what kind of judge would determine a resolution on my behalf? How on earth can a humble, queer earthling such as myself, EVER achieve justice with so little support in my favor? Makes me wonder if there are also poor people, homeless people, even on Mt. Olympus and its surrounding environs! To satirically paraphrase a portion of Matthew 6:10: “In heaven as it is on earth?”

So here is a pic of the upper left front of the envelope containing the building manager’s nasty “vicious animals” letter:

Notice the sloppy, unprofessional type, accompanied by an ink smear. Another hint, besides his childish rant therein, that he really did NOT send a cc to Ablahblah Realty…because, honestly, he should realize such a crazy screed would upset his employer, because it clearly opens them up to a lawsuit they’d obviously lose. But if he DID actually mail them a copy, it’s more likely a setup intended to gain me much moolah for my GoFundMe project, via an out-of-court settlement in my favor. Such a prank implies that Ablahblah itself is in on it!

Another interesting pic, this time of the “Astro Elevator” truck…but I shot this at 3:45 AM! What the heck is an elevator worker doing here at such an undeityly hour? Several days back, Flaco had to go urgently at around 4 AM, pacing the floor to get my attention. And as we descended into the lobby, there was that same worker diddling around in the elevator shaft. I wished him a good morning and moved on. I’m wondering if he’s presently homeless? Furthermore, I believe he is the same fellow who asked if I’m sure they don’t bite.

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Kevin was discovered bludgeoned to death on a sidewalk, during his frequent 1 AM walk towards 9666 Market, from god only knows where he’s coming at that time of night? This is dark humor, but hear me out, Wattson:

By the following day his murder would be in all the city headlines. But get this: imagine what Myrtle and Adis would think, in light of their false accusation one of my dogs bit her son, and my adamant and honest denial TO the manager that this NEVER happened! Would they think, “OMG, we’re next!” They might just up and evict themselves in a hurry.

Last night, for the first time, I danced before the brindlekin! To a song I stumbled upon, by a group called “Wonder Girls.” It’s a sweet little song that just made me up and dance!

The pups were startled awake from their slumber, sat straight up with tilted heads and a quizzical expression on their sweet faces. Flaco began leaping up to plant her paws on me and kiss me on the cheeks. Lucky joined in a few minutes later. So just moments ago I figured to video record this, and here is the result:

http://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2021A/prophetic-insights-dancing.3gp

Certainly NOT as active and delightful as they were the first time around, but I’m sure a few more tries will get me that outstanding “Dancing with the Dogs” video. I see now, a chapter or two hence, will be a collection of dancing clips! Naturally, there are copyright issues, so I’ll probably have to use songs from a public domain repository. Oh, but here’s an even BETTER idea:

Take me and my dancing dogs to the streets! Imagine yours truly with a Bluetooth speaker playing catchy tunes, dancing with the pups on the corner of Market & Castro! With a collection jar for donations, that will be used for my doggy expenses! Imagine the reaction of my building’s residents, including Kevin himself! Then one day, I’ll call on Jeffrey’s Natural Pet Foods around the corner, telling them I want to say thank you for helping the pups eat again. And we have a little skit we’d like to do for you, so step outside and bring your smartphones to record it! In conclusion:

Brindlekin Tales is such a beautiful collection of stories that is ENHANCED by Deek’s abduction of the pooches, the building manager’s demand to evict them, along with all OTHER scary challenges so suddenly flung before me…that I can’t HELP but think this is all the work of bodhisattva spirits, to make me the hero, and skyrocket me to fame and success! IOW: all those who play my enemies are actually contributing to my tales, AND AWARE OF THAT! Including that wicked little bugger who called my darlings “killer dogs” this morning. As the Buddha once declared: “We have no enemies, only teachers.”

What think YOU, Dr. Wattson?

Yours as always and forever,

Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Subject: Dancing with the Doggies
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Kevin Bond (building manager)
Date: February 19, 2021 11:28 AM

This video will never appear on my Youtube or any other official site, due to copyright restrictions. Thus, it is destined to become one of my underground achievements. It’s the first, among what shall become many: my own Gay Bible Apocrypha. Enjoy!

http://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2021A/prophetic-insights-dancing.3gp


Re: My solution: not do anything…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 19, 2021 1:55 PM

“Winning an argument with a smart person is hard; winning an argument with a stupid person is impossible.”

To that, I’d add “stupid and/or crazy.”

Of course, good doctor. But sometimes one is FORCED to argue with such klutzes, regardless. I’m thinking here of civil complaint issues, or when the idiot is your employer, manager, or any other person with some social power over you. This is why Mark Twain’s famous quote about stupidity is only HALF correct, as regards the “never” part:

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

In my case, I am COERCED to argue on my behalf, else Kevin would be able to step all over me. His nastiness is all the result of bringing my complaint about the loitering teenagers to the attention of Ablablah Realty. I’ve had wicked people who lived in this edifice BEFORE this, who’ve wound up DEAD after prolonged hostility against me. Such as a former manager, Ruth Harris, who gossiped to other residents that I’m friends with a tenant who’s been threatening her, and she doesn’t know why. But yes she did, as I TOLD her that I’m going to befriend him, in an attempt to persuade him to move…and that is exactly what happened a few weeks later! Ruth wound up dying of cancer while still manager.

Another example is Larry Thompson who lived across the hall from me, for many years. He was a queeny, skinny old fart with bleached hair and a pea for a brain. Who began harassing me because I kicked him out of a coffeehouse for HIV folks and their friends, where I was a volunteer serving up coffee and snacks. He was drunk as a skunk and pawing the young customers. He never forgave me for that (as if there were anything to forgive) and even gave a notorious drug dealer my name, address and phone number! Whenever we’d pass each other on the sidewalk, he’d murmur: “You’ll get yours!” He also turned a new friend of eight months against me, who lived right above, and had AIDS with dementia. And HE died a year later, after his constant threats and attacks upon yours truly.

Then, suddenly one day and thereafter, Miss Larry never spoke to me or anyone else…and sported a new accessory to his wardrobe, that he’s never worn before: a colorful cravat tied about the neck. Turned out he had developed throat cancer and had his vocal chords removed! He died in the hospital two months later.

And I already told you about the two gay lovers on the third floor, one of whom started threatening my good friend, Peggy. They were evicted due to this harassment, and, possibly, bringing drugs and dealers into 9666 Market Street. Less than a year later, one committed suicide, while the other perished from a drug overdose.

The building manager’s maliciousness is equally morbid to those examples, thus I expect a similar outcome. Likewise for Myrtle and her son. How this will play out is beyond me…though I HAVE conjectured one possible scenario regarding Kevin, to you in a previous email. And it couldn’t come soon enough as far as THIS beleaguered pilgrim is concerned. BTW, Mr. Thompson of the cravat, is the FIRST person I’ve ever wished death upon! But of course his demise is not my own telepathic doing, for no doubt others before me have been likewise hurt by him. It is just that, when I truly wish someone’s cessation, it is only because they ARE a wicked person in the first place…thus their dark end is already writ in stone.

Anyway, here’s the solution around copyright limitations to my dancing with the dogs (click on the video, then click on “Youtube” and read the description to find out):

Yours,

Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Changed my username from Zebra Ghost back to Zeke Krahlin…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 20, 2021 8:59 AM

…on Amazon.com. I chose the handle “Zebra Ghost” for my username, when posting comments and reviews, as a privacy issue, since I didn’t want them using my real name to use in any promotionals. But now that I am about to become famous worldwide, it will benefit me immensely, to switch back to my REAL name. Seeing as companies and business owners will soon be crawling over each other to use my actual name to promote their products…and pay me handsomely!

So, emailing the building manager my little dance number was my way of showing him I have it all figured out now: that he, Myrtle and son (and their teenage loiterers), and Ablahblah Realty were all spoofing me. Or, to put this another way: as bodhisattva guides, pushing me forward to self-awakening through their challenges. The pups are NOT gonna be driven out, and things will now rapidly progress towards the New Renaissance, with yours truly at the helm.

A new day has dawned, My Osmium Empress!


Re: Changed my username from Zebra Ghost back to Zeke Krahlin…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 20 2021 1:11 PM

Roger on all of that. I’m relieved!

Not that he’s told me it’s only a prank, but his rapacious letter pretty much makes that obvious. The ruse started with those loitering teenagers, and developed from there…very clever! The point was to keep annoying me, so that the added stress in my life would accelerate my growth as a result of dealing with it as compassionately possible, while standing my ground. It worked! Even if, perchance, I’m wrong about this, and he IS serious (which I strongly doubt), my two email responses were the best solution either way you interpret the scenario. A resolution affirming my theory, would be that all hostile parties involved approach me in friendship…just like in the Tibetan Book of the Dead, when the demons that threaten to chop you to bits finally drop their masks to reveal themselves as angels…IF you’ve passed their tests by not giving in to negative emotions. Upon which victory you ascend to the NEXT level, perhaps to go through further challenges. Though I’m not sure every level is meant to be challenging in that manner, in order to ascend further. Perhaps there are other challenges, such as sharpening your mind, skills or virtuous qualities.

DID YOU SEE MY LITTLE DANCE NUMBER YET? Check out my shadow, it looks like a gorilla or a bear! I only paid attention to the shadow after watching the video a dozen or so times…and I was happily startled. I consider this video as marking the turning point into the Age of Aquarius…and it all starts in my hovel, then blossoms outward. It’s gonna go viral through the underground. Here’s the link again:

http://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2021A/prophetic-insights-dancing.3gp

On my Youtube channel, the video is stripped of the audio track, in order to respect copyright limitations. Instead, in the description I provide the link to that song, so they can play both, simultaneously. This dance video then gave me the idea of doing further dance clips, not just with the pups, but by myself…and I’ll call it “I Dance with the Gods.” Which is exactly what I do in cycles separated by at least several years. I usually dance as a Greek deity (or TO them), but also as Native American totemic fauna, such as Coyote, Eagle, Bear or Buffalo. I once had an astounding vision of myself dancing in the sky as Apollo…sort of Ann-Margret-ish as she appeared in “Bye Bye Birdie,” only minus the audio. For reference, see:

In sum: by Carl Jung’s reckoning, I have mastered the pantheon of archetypes!

What will make these dance videos so unique, is the humble locale in which they’re staged, and the fact that I’m an old man (for awhile longer)! But one SUPERB hoofer! I will explain in these videos, that dancing is how I pray or meditate. Which is the absolute truth. It’s also my way of completely shedding my ego: showing no shame in my crummy hovel or advanced age, while making myself entirely vulnerable to the world, as a shamanic act of devotion to the Great Spirit.

My hovel (and by extension, this building) will soon become the most cherished landmark in all of LGBT history…as well as WORLD history! So the next step will be to VERY SOON move me and the pooches to a safe, lovely and comfortable sanctuary, whereby all these nasty stress factors in my difficult life shall cease. Whether I’ll remain here in San Franshitsco, or be transported elsewhere, I do not know. But I also have visions on a surprisingly frequent basis, of living in a jewel of a habitat floating in outer space! A huge colony of sorts, a traveling biosphere populated by reptilians and humans in brotherly communion. That would be awesome, to say the least. But I’ll be perfectly happy as well, in a decent studio apartment in a nice neighborhood, such as the Inner Sunset, somewhere around 9th and Irving. And hopefully, with access to a fenced-in backyard!

What say you, Wattson: am I insane or incredibly gifted? (And of course, Sherlock Holmes is yet aNOTHER variation on the archetype…in this case, the deity that uncloaks mysteries. Which makes Holmes’s own cloak a most apt metaphor.)

  • Zeke K-Holmes


Pups Stolen & Returned, Bldg. Mgr. Wants Dogs Out!

February 17, 2021

[Concupiscent reader: one crisis on the heels of another! Both horrendous events are documented starting around a third of the way down. So just be patient; enjoy the flurry of OTHER scenarios immediately prior TO them.]


Re: Weird & Stupid Incident Yesterday!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 7, 2021 7:24 PM

Awful. I admire your restraint and your reserves of energy. Yes, one of the worst things about being poor is that you’re at the mercy of whatever fate slings at you, without the protective padding money can provide. The fucking jerk in blackface, and then the clerk not knowing what the term even means. Then the other guy accusing you of “stealing” the dogs. The brute thick-skulled aggrieved aggressiveness of the Capitol mob permeating every level of society.

Well THAT was well said, my dear Wattson! In my latest assignment to uncover a dark mystery with roots deeper than I anticipated, I have embedded myself among the apes. I forgot to ALSO mention that last night around 10:30 PM, a policeman was out front by his parked vehicle, talking with (of all people) Myrtle and her son, Adis! I have NO idea how, what, who, where, when or why, but Adis was feigning such a happy-go-lucky demeanor, it literally reeked of falsity. As if he were attempting to bury his conscience under a pile of feigned devil-may-care dirt, and plant a flower in it! If he has a green thumb, I’d say it’s GANGrenous! They are partners in crime, mother-and-son, in cahoots with Kevin Bond the building manager!

His agreement to allow her son’s teenage friends to loiter in the hallway withOUT wearing masks (and withOUT informing all residents in the immediate vicinity) makes him slam-dunk complicit. And mom and son OPTED for this scenario, to protect THEMSELVES from spreading covid-19 among each other, IOW: they shifted the risk onto my own person, and that of other residents living close by, as well as anyone passing up and down the stairs (which includes a few elderly people, two hobbling along with a cane, and another with a wheelchair).

Add to this the false accusation by mother-and-son of one of my dogs biting Adis, and drawing blood. Which accusation Kevin seemed most eager to push forward, in spite of the OBVIOUS bad timing of such a claim, because it came right on the heels of their receiving a copy of my complaint against them, to Ablahblah Realty! Ain’t they nice people! I have a feeling, Wattson, that their guts are churning with guilt, and soon worms will bust holes in their midriffs to escape these horrid surroundings!

Don’t know what’s up with Marshall; like I said, haven’t seen him or talked to him in about a year…

Yes, I know you haven’t, but I wanted to reflect upon this situation, as I find it MOST perplexing, in light of the fact he HAD resumed reading my tales last month with apparent delight. Then, abruptly it seems, dropped me like a rabid porcupine. Did some ONE or some THING get to him? On another matter:

The pups ate heartily tonight, and last night…but nothing at all in the morning or afternoon. They are NOT big eaters, I must say! Now, they are happily a-snooze, lying on their backs with hind legs splayed, torsos curved, paws dangling drupaceously from their front legs, and heads turned to one side or the other: UTTER, BLISSFUL CONTENTMENT! They are smiling. I am SO glad to give them sanctuary through it all. Mine is an amazing story of how the good triumphs over evil, thus it SHALL have a most joyful ending, indeed. Which SHOULD be very soon as I have already completed 32 awesome chapters as of yesterday!

Your comrade in arms, in service always to Her Majesty, I remain:

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Subject: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 13, 2021 5:51 PM

My Good Dr. Wattson,

The is to inform you I have just edited the description of my video titled “My Contract with Deek,” to include the following statement right at the top:

TO ANY OF DEEK’S HOMELESS FRIENDS WHO BELIEVE I ACTUALLY STOLE HIS DOGS: please read the following blog entry I call “In My Defense,” before you pass judgment:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2021/02/12/in-my-defense/

I forewent doing more laundry, to spend most of the day composing this work, which, if I say so myself, is outstanding! It is in light of that black fellow with his bike, who accused me of stealing the pooches…and who now has a link to that video, “My Contract with Deek.” So the first thing they’ll see right below the video, is that statement I added only moments ago. I am assuming he will NOT stop with watching the video for himself, but share it with many other homeless folks who know Deek, even if just a little.

In that piece, I excoriate Deek, for one, with a rather detailed list of his offenses. But there is SO MUCH MORE to it, that will both cause his homeless allies to stop dead in their tracks with any thought of harassing me, as well as get them on my side. (Or perhaps cause quite the opposite: gang wars. It’s all the same to THIS meddlesome pilgrim.) I’ve even included addressing that smug dufus on a bike, at the very end. I DO hope you can find the time to read it, as it is rather significant in the scheme of things…gay underground resistance and all that rot!

  • Zeke K-Holmes

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 13, 2021 10:38 PM

Started reading. Will finish tomorrow. Excellent detail. I did skip ahead to read the message to Umbrella Man. Hope he has the brains to really read it. Regarding that, I am not sanguine….

It was an immensely pleasurable day for me, cobbling that piece together, including links and images…with two sweet doggies resting beside me. Regarding the fool who saved the video link to “My Contract with Deek:”

He is obviously the gossipy type, so it matters not whether or not he has sufficient IQ to read the entire article, let alone capiche the end part, which is all about him. Seeing as he is highly likely to share the video with many others, some of whom ARE no doubt quite intelligent, albeit homeless. And thus, THEY will more likely grasp my points, thereby being impacted in a positive way. Impressed enough, that is, to eagerly share it with others. The Butterfly Effect has nothing over me! Except, perhaps, for a teensy bit of pollen wafting my way now and then. How do you think I get pregnant, anyway? Pregnant with ideas, that is! The only kind of children I would NEVER abort. Instead, I pack ’em inside small, glass jars, pickled in briny alcohol…for future reference.

  • Zeke

Subject: Once Deek gets wind of his Youtube appearance…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 13, 2021 10:51 PM

…he will most likely rant and spit over my exposing him to the public, on a rather large scale. But what outcome SHOULD he expect, after years of treating me, his best friend of all time, like shit? He was not aware of these pics I took of him, so now I will inform him (probably right AFTER he asks how many OTHER photos I’ve taken):

“If you continue to badmouth me to all your street friends, I will also release certain videos I’ve recorded of you, while in my room…taken by my laptop without your knowledge.”

Suggesting, of course, the most intimate and personal kind of clips. Not that I’ve actually done that, but who am I to inform him otherwise? I will further declare:

“In fact, if you don’t start speaking WELL of me to everyone who knows you, including admitting you DID sell the dogs to me, fair and square, I WILL release those videos. And I have my OWN spies to check up on you, and see whether or not you’ve followed up on my demand. So if you LIE to me about righting your wrongs before others who’ve heard you gossip, I WILL share those compromising videos to the public.”

All’s fair in friendship and battle.

  • Zeke

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 14, 2021 7:14 PM

You mean Deek asleep with his head in his lap, little doggie sandwiched in there? Kind of a prizewinning photo, I think…

Yes, it is…I love that photo, it touches the heart.

Placing his pic in that letter in my defense, will show him I’ve taken photos of him w/o his knowledge. That way, I can make him think I also have some compromising videos of him, naked, while visiting me in my hovel…one of which shows him giving me a BJ! So he’d BETTER right those wrongs against me, including telling his friends he actually DID sell me the doggies fair and square. AND speaking well of me to EVERYONE, confessing he was lying about me all along.

Read the whole thing.

Much appreciated, Dr. Wattson. Though I’m afraid Umbrella Man may not even be able to locate “My Contract with Deek,” because I just told him it’s in my “Action Videos” playlist. But I have so many videos in that particular section, you have to scroll down quite a bit, and you can’t just search for “Chaz,” as I now call him “Deek” in my Brindlekin Tales and Videos. And he’s using a tiny, smartphone screen. Well, I’m SURE if he does find the video, he’ll also click on the link to my “defense” piece, and leave a comment at the bottom. If he doesn’t I’ll assume he’s actually not been able to locate the “contract” video. If I run into him again (and he gives me the chance), he can whip out his phone, and I’ll get him right TO the video in question. This is getting SO exhausting, having to deal with so many dimwits, you’d think I was in the Trump White House!

What’s to become of him??

He’s my guardian angel–well, at least he’s ONE of them–playing a role so that I become the hero in this scenario he’s created. So he’ll be perfectly fine. He’s not really homeless, anyway, nor do I think anyone is. They are angels testing humanity’s compassion. I’ve brought this up before, more than once; that he and Larkin are probably my guardians, making up these awesome scenarios where I play the hero. And others, likewise, my guardians, though I don’t know who they are…though presumably part of Larkin’s crew. That blackfaced skateboarder is one of them, I’m sure. They are my bodhisattvas, my “teachers” who instruct me by manifesting challenges to go through, rather than by sitting me down to a lecture.

Including Umbrella Man (another bodhisattva), checking me out to see how calm I’d remain, in dealing with his provocation. I’m sure he gave me an A+. It’s quite a clever ruse. I’ve had visions some years back, which I wrote about in Free Me From This Bond, of my guardians cleaning up my room and even transforming it into a masterpiece of tiny living, with kitchen, bathroom, and all. They would do this while one of them invites me out for a bite to eat, or watch a movie. Or just do it when they know I’ll be away from my hovel for at least an hour. Like magical elves who can accomplish such tasks in that short a time, kinda like that Grimm fairy tale, “The Elves and the Shoemaker!” Well, it hasn’t happened yet, but I believe it will; I believe the vision is true.

Now, I’m thinking when I step out for the bedbug treatment, I will return to a beautifully renovated abode. And, thanks to my guardians’ awesome, other-worldly powers, I think they will even put a wormhole in one wall (say, the one facing Market Street), that I may step into several MORE rooms, which in total makes for a VERY spacious apartment. So, my dear Wattson, these extra rooms will actually be located right over Market Street, all the way from one side to the other! Though invisible to those outside. I may even have a garden and a large backyard where the puppies can exercise! Perhaps there’ll also be a porthole to Larkin’s reptilian planet, at the farthest end of the yard, in the corner with the treehouse. :)

Meanwhile:

Lucky seems to have become a safe-sex expert! Not only does he back off when I catch him humping her (and it only takes a glance in his direction for him to stop, as he looks at me with such a guilty expression any more), but now I’m catching him DRY HUMPING her…by rubbing his boner on her lower back! And, most ot the time when Flaco presents her rear to him, instead of mounting her, he’ll sniff for awhile, then grab her tail or a hind leg, and start pulling away, until they both start play-fighting, yelping, and wrestling on the comforter! In addition: Flaco has begun humping Lucky with greater frequency, these past few days! I’m amazed at just how intelligent these two pups are…I’ve never seen anything like this, before. VERY little training is required for them to understand the new instruction, and they learn it in one or two days.

They are also back to eating full meals again, twice a day. This is great. Though they STILL don’t stand on their back feet and dance around me, as I carry their dishes across the room. They used to ALWAYS do that! I think maybe they’d prefer NOT to eat the same old thing every single friggin’ day. So I ordered another brand and blend of canned food; we’ll see how that goes. Though I’m almost out of GoFundMe money, but I trust it will soon be replenished.

Thanks again for reading the piece, as it’s one of the most important treatises I have ever writ…and it’s a gift to the long suffering homeless. Who, ironically, are not REALLY suffering one iota…for they are angels who return to their heavenly homes after each workday of pretending to be vagrants.

Your friend forever,

Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Re: [MCN-Announce]- Insurrections and other areas of interest
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN
Date: February 14, 2021 7:47 PM

On Sat, 13 Feb 2021 19:56:24 -0800 Marley Spengel posted:

Spiders are a wonder to behold!

Hello, Mr. Spengel!

Yes, our eight-legged friends ARE amazing, and SUCH an important aspect of our environment, the world over. Around twelve or so years ago, I met this friendly, long-haired fellow who lived just three blocks away from my own residence. He invited me over for a visit and a cup of tea. Upon entering, I was overwhelmed by a large, gorgeous flat just shimmering with a HUGE spider vivarium composed of dozens of large, glass-enclosed, rectangular and square habitats that extended through the flat’s entire length, and reached all the way up to the ceiling! Some of these glass mini-habitats were large enough to fit two people inside, crouched down! Sparkling webs everywhere, and spiders glinting in every color and fascinating combinations thereof, like living jewels moving all about. I had NO idea whether or not any were poisonous, nor did I ask. I concealed my nervousness well, as I sipped my Oolong, and we chatted about this and that…including the spiders. But all the while, I thought to myself: “This has the makings of a cult horror film, with me the hapless victim!”

I was stunned by the beauty and impeccable spotlessness of his flat, and wondered how he managed to keep it so sparkling clean, every square inch of it! I also wondered: do any of them ever escape, and how does he resolve that…what if an earthquake happens, strong enough to break one or more of these glass cases…how does he feed so many…has the landlord seen this and, if so, does it fall under the category of “pet friendly”…will he lock me in and feed me to the arachnids if I ask to use the restroom…what is the best way to exit this place ASAP in as gracious a manner as possible…did he poison the tea?

At any rate, my host mentioned that his landlord wants to increase the rent by a ridiculously high amount, and he’s fighting it all the way. I don’t know what happened with that, nor what he’s doing now, or even where he is. Seeing as I only visited him once.


Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 14, 2021 10:49 PM

Yes. They were in touch with me yesterday, asking my opinion on fabrics and decor. I said in no uncertain terms: No chintz, no plaid, no Naugahyde, and knotty pine is punishable by death!

Greatly appreciated, Wattson! Though I’m sure you went MUCH further than that, in the actual design and components TO my 4-D flat…perhaps even suggesting it be a three-story Victorian structure, which I’d love very much! I’d also like the windows to be “adjustable” in either of two ways: (1) with views of the alternate reality in which my new domicile resides, and (2) with views of the Castro in the same spot in which my new domicile overlaps THIS reality…without anyone OUTside even seeing or knowing of its presence…IOW it will be completely invisible, and so permeable, even birds, insects, rain, dust and sunlight will pass right through it. Now here’s an interesting tidbit (and it’s true, I swear it):

Back when Timothy Dipalma was residing in 9666 Market Street (during which time he painted my portrait, and I showed him my own remarkable “Unicorn Without A Horn” acrylic-on-blue-sweatshirt painting one frenzied, schizophrenic night…which tale I’ve shared with you considerable years ago), he spoke numerous times about creating a kind of wormhole tunnel connecting this building with a location somewhere in Mendocino County! With hindsight, I take this as a prophetic hint of my own remarkable destiny. For I otherwise had no idea what he meant by this, especially since he didn’t really EXPLAIN the concept to me. As for my portrait:

I take offense at the caption he put below it, on his artist website, which is: “portrait as visualization and blessing to heal the subject.” That’s rather subjectively presumptuous, that I need to be healed, IMO! See for yourself:

http://www.desennart.com/galleries/portraits/attachment/gene_oil-on-canvas_1989_Timothy-de-senna_700/

BTW, good doctor, if you’d like to refresh your memory about my letter to you regarding my “hornless” unicorn painting, it is dated November 14 2007, and can be found here:

http://www.gay-bible.org/truetales/6_skulduggery.htm

It’s the paragraph that begins with “It was during Anthony’s residency” and is 17 paragraphs total. Though most of these paragraphs are only two or three sentences long, and some are just one. At any rate, that passage ends with a lovely image of Pegasus.

Humans could learn a lot from them.

Yes indeed…Canis familiaris is an amazing species! Two of them are also companions to the Greek goddess, Artemis, herself! I was even thinking, for awhile, of renaming the two pups “Artemis” and “Apollo.” But I decided that’s a bit over the top.

I certainly hope so…

And…I kinda think you already KNOW so, considering what an advanced human being you are (or should I say “reptilian” rather than “human?”). I have experienced MANY hints and innuendos that this is the case: that there really ARE no homeless, just bodhisattvas testing our compassion. Or, perhaps it should be stated in this better way: by witnessing the misfortune and suffering of others (albeit in a fake manner, by heavenly thespians feigning homelessness), we hopefully grow in wisdom, and can even become heroes by taking action against such apparent wrongs. Deek has mocked me several times over my being such a great advocate for the homeless…just ONE of the countless hints that indicate something OTHER is really going on. Well, this concept (that the worst suffering we believe occurred or presently occurs, is a ruse, though a lovely one at that, considering the implications) all ties in with my “Neopositivity” treatise that I wrote in the year 2000. And is based on the Buddha’s statement that we have no enemies, only teachers.

Your compatriot and partner of MANY super-duper-natural adventures,

  • Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 12:27 AM

FURTHER EXAMPLES OF THESE “HINTS” THAT NOT IS ALL AS IT SEEMS, REGARDING SUFFERING, STRIFE, POVERTY AND WAR

Actually, such clues referred to in my previous email, have been with me all my life. Though it was my BROTHER who was born in Bethlehem (PA), instead of yours truly! Not that I think I AM Jesus (who probably never existed in the first place), but that the universe is playing a sweet joke on me, because indeed I DO have a most astounding destiny, nonetheless. Of similar import, thought not entirely.

When I was an artist’s model at the University of Missouri, EVERY student in one class (whose teacher happened to be Frank Stack, underground comic book author of “The Adventures of Jesus” series) portrayed me in a mystical light, in one way or another. One student painted me seated on a throne, with my right hand resting upon the head of a woman seated on the floor…and lovely rays of light were beaming down upon us. Another showed me looking up into an ethereal blue sky, with the faintly inscribed words, “Look Up!” in one of the clouds. Yet another depicted me as a kind of comic book superhero. Here is a short video about Mr. Stack, in case you’re curious:

Also during my years in Columbia, Missouri, these two priests from the Holy Order of Mans (a new-age, Paulean branch of the Catholic Church) came into my life…they were eager to know me better, offered to baptise me (which I allowed), and appeared before me in surprising ways, as I strolled about the town…as if spying upon me, or like celebrity hounds.
I asked them once, “Who am I?” as many self-reflective speculations had started haunting my mind that year. I was NOT satisfied with their answer, which was: “You have to discover that for yourself.”

My Randolph Odyssey is another example, where numerous hints were strewn across my path, over more than a decade. Some of which have been noted in my first self-published book, “Free Me From This Bond.” One such example is in Chapter 5 (“Latest Gift”) in which I describe some angels in a dream telling me I need not worry about acquiring the money to fly out to Washington, D.C., to visit him at the VAMC hospital, as it will show up at the right time. For which chapter my illustrator, S. Rohan, sketched this lovely rendering of three cherubs, one handing me a wad of dollar bills:

There was also the time when a Native American claiming to be a shaman, suddenly appeared before me in a gay bar here in the Castro, to tell me I did a lousy job of helping Randy. Now, get this, it was more than three years since he died, and I certainly was NOT known any more for my activism on his behalf…or, IOW, I was once again a nobody. And I’ve never seen this “shaman” before, nor ever again. After much deliberation for many days after that brief encounter, I concluded he is a BACKWARDS shaman. In case you don’t know already, a backwards shaman always tells you the OPPOSITE of the truth. He ALSO told me he was from Wakpala, the village in South Dakota, near which the archeology crew of which I was a member, did some digs up there, back in 1971.

I consider Larkin to be the most prolific hint-dropper of all, which clues I have shared with you countless times already, rich in detail and examples. So you’re ALREADY familiar with all that, thus I need not bother going through those episodes again, in this missive. Much to both YOUR, and MY, relief. :)

There are dozens MORE examples I could give regarding such hints, but I think this email suffices.

  • Zeke

Subject: If you think Helen Tosser is oh-so-progressive and compassionate…think again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN, Discussion MCN
Date: February 15, 2021 3:50 PM

This is basically a reminder, that she is virulently anti-LGBT rights, as well as anti-sex-education, anti-sex-out-or-wedlock, and anti-abortion. She made that very clear to me, and to everyone else on the discussion list, back in April of 2017. That horrid post of hers was later read that same month, on Marshall McClean’s Friday night “Memo of the Weird” radio show on KNYO. You may hear his reading of her nasty screed by clicking on the following video, and listening to the first 5-and-a-half minutes of that recording:


Subject: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS, but I got them back!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 10:15 PM

This happened less than an hour ago. I took the doggies out for their bedtime walk. As I crossed 16th to Noe Street, Flaco slipped out of her collar…and as I bent down to put it back on, Deek suddenly showed up. I guess he was hanging out behind my building, waiting for that moment. He picked up Flaco, and (talk about bad timing) Lucky ALSO slipped out of his collar and ran up to Deek. He said he has over fifty friends right around here, and all he has to do is whistle.

Well, I said I’m not afraid, that he’s making a mistake, please give them back. I couldn’t pepper spray him, because he was holding Flaco in his arms. So I had no choice but to let him walk off with them. I then ran upstairs to call 911. I only had to wait five minutes, before they showed up. They had already apprehended Deek and the dogs. They had me walk down Market to where they were holding him. Deek admitted I gave him $300, but it wasn’t in exchange for the pups. Oh, yeah, the cops DID see the video, and recorded it.

They asked him if he had proof of ownership, and Deek said yeah, they’re registered with the SPCA. They told him to return the dogs to me, and they will be in my custody until he shows the papers to prove he’s their owner. Of course, Deek was all mellow and cool, acting just like the big phony he is, telling them he has no idea why I won’t give the pups back…doing the whole sob number as well. “Why can’t I have my dogs back, they’re mine?” But I had already explained to the police, that he has serious mood swings and takes meth…and has been abusing the dogs for months, now.

So, I took the dogs back hovel, with a case ticket indicating one of the officer’s names, badge number and phone. They told me my video wouldn’t hold up in court, and if Deek has the papers, I’ll have to return the mutts to him. They instructed Deek to go to the SPCA tomorrow and get those papers. And if he does that, they’ll knock on my door and I’ll have to give them back.

I seriously DOUBT he has the pooches registered with the SPCA, but it IS possible. Also, now I feel especially threatened, very wary about taking them out for walks…as who knows what he’ll try to pull next? He’s obviously got some friends on his side…and they’re not the most stable, to say the least. Well I’m sure he was calling my bluff (about having friends who’d appear quickly if he whistled), because NO one else was around anywhere near my building.

One of the officers told me I should’ve gotten him to sign an agreement…I told him I understand, but Deek refused to do that, and I was desperate to get the dogs protected ASAP.

That attorney NEVER got in touch with me, and now I REALLY need one bad. This is also what happens when you’re poor: you have LITTLE to NO legal recourse on anything. Let’s hope Deek doesn’t have any proof from the SPCA. But even if he doesn’t go there tomorrow, it’s possible he DOES have papers, and will bring them to the police station another day. He also has a case ticket, of course…but one thing that’s DEFINITELY on my side, is that he can’t manage to hold on to ANYthing, especially papers. Let’s keep out fingers crossed that he was just as sloppy when it comes to registering the pups, in that he never got around to it.

  • Zeke

PS: Is it possible the SFPD has their own way of preventing Deek from getting the dogs back? If so, I’ll never know about it…just that Deek will no longer be around. You never know, because it looks like I DO have allies I’m not aware of; something I’ve suspected for many years. If I HAVE to give them up, so be it…I’ll just put my faith in knowing that some how, some way, the brindlekin shall be brought back to me, unscathed. They were BOTH very happy to be returned to me, BTW, as each of them were standing up with paws on my legs, giving me kisses…and the cops saw that. They departed before I was even halfway hovel, and I heard Deek call out, “Lucky! Lucky!” Neither he nor Flaco bothered to pull on their leashes to try to get back to him. (Doesn’t HE have the nerve to do that, the moment the coppers drive away!) They readily returned home with me.


Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Watson
Date: February 15, 2021 10:32 PM

I sometimes have dreams of “discovering” vast endless rooms full of treasures and elegant furniture, with infinitely intricately beautiful mosaic floors and chandeliers and such. The feeling in these dreams is that those rooms were there all along, just on the other side of a door, and that they and everything in them are mine, all mine…my dreams are not always so exalted. Mostly, they are roiling, seething, humiliating and squalid, though always vivid.

That probably comes from your childhood, when you actually HAD a rambling old, lovely house to visit. A friend of your mothers, I think, or a relative. I remember you telling me about it.

Every once in a while I have a genuine nightmare, though rarely. A good thing, too, because when I do, they’re doozies. Like the dream I had where I played a role in knowingly luring an innocent friend to a lonely crossroads in the woods so that somebody else could murder him with a shovel. When I have a dream like that, I attribute it to my “writer’s brain” furnishing me with an experience I’m unlikely to have in real life–being an accessory to murder. Because of the dream, I know what it feels like.

Yes, I’m sure it’s your “writer’s brain,” because you are ALWAYS thinking up good crime plots. Isn’t you next book gonna be about Ed Gein, or some other serial killer?

Fairly mind-boggling, all things considered.

Oh, no question. I do NOT have delusions of grandeur, but I certainly have SOMEthing most unique and intriguing going on, in my life. If this “wormhole” thing isn’t just a fantasy, that would indicate that Timothy is likewise one of my main guardians. That means he’s been receiving reports about me from my guardian network, all along.

The caption is indeed offensive. But the portrait is luminous. He really is a fine artist. He almost went mad with joy over the imagery in COURT OF THE LION. I SO appreciated his appreciation.

Mine is the only painting where he stated something like that! I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what I consider his most exquisite work of all. It’s the Madonna and Child theme, which I could NOT find on his website. He showed it to me that one time I visited him up in Mendocino. Truly a masterpiece of a high order. I’d love for you to see it!

  • Zeke

Re: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS [addendum]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:26 PM

One of the cops questioned Deek why didn’t he report it to the police and the SPCA right away, if he thought I stole them from him…why did he not do that? Deek just shrugged his shoulders, said he thought I was just taking care of them for a few days. Yet the police already know I’ve had them under my guardianship since January 7th.

He also said to Deek: this man (me) gave you $300 out of the goodness of his heart to take care of the dogs, and now you’re denying it?

Another cop, after looking at the video, did comment that he seems quite belligerent. I told him, yes, and that is why I was concerned about his abusing the dogs, and it was going to get worse if I didn’t intervene immediately.

The cops also acknowledged that I planned to return the dogs after he had a roof over his head, and gave up the meth. They were impressed. I was calm, not upset in the least, through it all. I didn’t even verbally intervene while Deek told lies about me, before the cops.

So I think the SFPD handled things superbly, and know what’s REALLY up. That Deek is a meth addict, a phony, a liar and a two-timer…all wrapped up in one, tragic package. I’m sure I’ll be fine…as will the pups.

  • Zeke

Re: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS [one more thing]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:30 PM

It was quite eerie that BOTH collars slipped off, one shortly after another. It was as if an invisible hand loosened them, for neither dog was pulling to try to rid themselves of their collars. They were just suddenly off! It was as if this little scenerio was supPOSED to happen, and there was nothing I could do about it. Unbelievable, all the crap I’ve been going through, daily!


Re: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS [one more thing]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:42 PM

Good Gawd. What a hair-raising adventure. Good for you for staying calm and rational; you just KNOW it made a big difference for the cops, who are accustomed to babbling, bellowing, belligerent lowlifes.

Yes, I’m sure that counted for a lot.

Maybe instead of collars, those harness things??

Someone donated two harnesses, but they turned out to be too small. I’m waiting on my refund to get the next largest size. However, I’ve tried harnesses before, when Deek still owned them. Flaco was nonetheless able to slip off her harness, just like the collar. So harnesses are no more secure than collars.

As I said in my previous email, it was really weird that they both slipped out of their collars, as if an invisible hand released them. Otherwise, Lucky has NEVER gotten out of his collar before this…it is just Flaco that does now and then. But she ALWAYS stays by me, waiting to get that collar back on. Another thing that Deek claimed before the cops, which is obviously a lie:

Not only were the pups registered in his name at the SPCA, they’re also chipped. DEFINITELY not true. I just phoned the SPCA to ask them if they have anyone by the name of Chaz or Charles Henderson with a registered dog. But they put me on hold, saying it will take longer than usual to pick up the phone, due to this pandemic. And they don’t offer voicemail. So I just hung up. I doubt I really have anything to worry about, anyway.

Deek needs to prove he’s the owner, but he can’t. So, any more attempts to steal the doggies would be a more serious violation. I HATE that I’ll have to keep the mutts outside for four hours, on the day of the bedbug treatment. I’ll definitely hang out north of here, where it’s very unlikely Deek or his minions will find me. It’s just deeper in the Castro and the Mission that is the danger zone. Strange, though, that the manager has yet to set up a day for when the treatment will occur.

I sure wish I could just up and move outta the shitty city! As it now stands, I am STUCK in the middle of all this horrifc nastiness, and must deal with it CONSTANTLY. Last night, before Deek ran off with the pooches, he threatened to have all his friends camp out around my building and blast loud music all night. This guy does a GREAT job of sabotaging his own life…I’ve never seen anything quite like this extreme of self destruction!

I ALSO told him he’s been abusing the dogs, and guess what his response was?

“I OWN them, you do not!”

I did NOT get the chance to warn him about my releasing some compromising videos of him, while he was visiting my hovel, should he continue to badmouth me, and be a serious disruption in my life. Our dialog was just moving too fast for that. But I DO think that’s a joker up my sleeve, worth playing at the right moment.

  • Zeke

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:58 PM

By Jove, I think you’ve got it.

Jove is always sticking his nose into other people’s business. :)

That was my grandmother’s house in Brooklyn, a full-on three-story Victorian with a dumbwaiter, a back staircase, clawfoot bathtubs, turrets, secret rooms, leaded glass windows and a suit of 16th-century Japanese armor in the front hallway! She inherited the house from her father, my great-grandfather Col. Alexander Bacon, who had some notoriety in his day…she sold the house when I was maybe five years old, but I had the privilege of running around in it in my most formative years, up to age four.

Aha! And since it was a rich experience at such an early age, it most likely became firmly embedded in your subconscious…thus bubbling up in your dreamworld now and then. It’s a fortunate memory to have, as it probably triggered your massive, creative flow…or at least, contributed to it in most beneficial ways.

Hope I do, somehow.

It’s an exquisite painting, not because I idolize Christian themes (which I do not), but as a work of art in its technique, colors, balance, detail and spirit of the artist, it’s a true masterpiece! These Christian themes have much deeper, cultural roots in earlier civilizations…as Christianity is simply a theft of more ancient belief systems. A mother depicted with her son is clearly an archetype that is both universal, and goes all the way back to the dawn of humanity…crossing over into ALL religious themes. Carl Jung had a lot to say about that. Christianity is just late to the party.

So glad I majored in anthropology instead of journalism!

  • Zeke

Re: No cops have shown up to take the pups away!
From: My Dear Wattson
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: February 16, 2021 6:47 PM

You, my dear Wattson, have the unique privilege of always being the first to know of my latest imbroglio! I suggest that, if you should, perchance, bump into Timothy, that you bring up my former name, Gene Catalano, to see how he reacts, and if he’ll say anything that may give us a clue about this “wormhole tunnel.”

Just tonight, I saw a post on the list serve, two “senior men” looking for a place to live, preferably a place with room to paint, and their names are Timothy and Bob!


Re: No cops have shown up to take the pups away!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 6:54 PM

Just tonight, I saw a post on the list serve, two “senior men” looking for a place to live, preferably a place with room to paint, and their names are Timothy and Bob!

Maybe that’s Bob Dobbs from the Church of the Subgenius!


Re: No cops have shown up to take the pups away!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 8:39 PM

Sure seems like dat ol’ wormhole be openin’ fo’ bidness.

Indeedy do, and a hidey-ho!
Step right up and you’re good to go.
Schrodinger’s cat will steal the show.


Subject: Regarding Timothy’s Post to the Announcement List
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 8:51 PM

I just sent this reply, didn’t want you to miss it, good doctor!


Re: [MCN-Announce]- ISO FB housing
Date: 2021-02-16 18:14
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN

On Mon, 15 Feb 2021 21:25:59 -0800 whizkid wrote:

> Posting for a treasured friend. I would recommend them without reservation.

“Timothy and Bob,” eh? I don’t know Bob, but I DO know Timothy, because once upon a time he lived in the same apartment complex as myself, here in Baghdad by the Bay. He’s an INCREDIBLE artist and a truly magnanimous human being! And Mendoland is most fortunate to have such an exquisite painter in their midst. We’ve had quite a few fun and intriguing stories together during those days, one of which I call “Gene’s Painting of Unicorn Without a Horn.” That’s right, my birth name is Gene Catalano, but I changed my name, to Zeke Krahlin in 1996 (has to do with a kind of witness protection). Anyway, why not put a broad grin on his face by bringing up that particular adventure? You might ALSO enjoy viewing the portrait he did of me, as I posed for him in his studio apartment facing 16th Street, here in the Castro:

http://www.desennart.com/galleries/portraits/attachment/gene_oil-on-canvas_1989_antony-de-senna_700/


Subject: Building Manager Demands I Get Rid of the Dogs!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 11:21 PM

I just received a letter in the mail from Kevin Bond, with a cc notice to Ablahblah Realty:

Click here for a larger view.

His five accusations (that they are “vicious,” that one of them bit and drew blood on a resident, that he’s sure one of them would’ve bitten him, that adopting a pooch from a drug addict means that dog is bad, and that I let them run around the building) are all easy to refute…what’s his problem? This is out-and-out harassment. I will compose my rebuttal later today, and email you a copy. One bodhisattva challenge after another!


Re: Building Manager Demands I Get Rid of the Dogs!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 12:03 AM

Oh, Christ. Why all of a sudden??

I believe it’s retaliation for my complaint to Ablahblah Realty, about the teenage loiterers…and that, for some reason, he’s tied up in defending the hypocrites Myrtle and her son, Adis, to the very end. I think that he (and they) want to find some way to get me removed from the building. “All of a sudden” because maybe he only came up with this retaliation yesterday or this morning. Interesting thing about the letter: it had no signature from either an attorney or a representative of Ablahblah…and was not on official company paper. Perhaps he’s faking it, and never sent a copy to them? But on a higher, “bodhisattva” level:

Just another challenge hurled at my feet, to make me a hero. There is NO judge anywhere on Goddess’s green and blue earth that would rule in his favor. Ergo, it’s a setup for me to easily win. Perhaps they desire a lawsuit whereby I collect some thousands of dollars for my GoFundMe account. The hint comes from the fact it is clearly NOT any official complaint, and I question if the property owner really received a copy of it. So the folks at Ablahblah will have a hearty laugh once they read my rebuttal…for I suspect that they, too, are in on the ruse, and actually WANT me to sue them.

Nonetheless, I DO resent being forced to worry once more, and to have my valuable time wasted on defending myself over ridiculous accusations. But I understand WHY it’s happening: I am about to be celebrated for my decades of service. So, this is more like an initiation into a society of bodhisattvas, than any sort of REAL crisis. Just like Deek’s recent theft of the pooches. And weren’t the peacekeepers amazing!

I will send you a copy of my reply to him some time this evening. It will be surprisingly friendly, BTW.

Or (I am thinking) maybe I should just IGNORE it for the nonce. What say you, Wattson?

  • Zeke Krahlin-Holmes

Subject: How’s THIS for my rebuttal to the manager’s absurd accusations:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 1:24 AM

I’ll just slip the following note under his door:

Ha, ha, very funny. I hope you had a lovely day, and will have an equally lovely evening.

Yours in the Incredible Flying Spaghetti Monster who sacrificed his meatballs, that we may all have a spectacular, eternal life in this pot of tangy sauce we call “life,”

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin
LGBT and homeless activist extraordinaire

–end


Re: How’s THIS for my rebuttal to the manager’s absurd accusations:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 11:34 AM

He seems a little “limited,” imagination-wise. If I were in your shoes (ow!), I’d let a day or so elapse before responding.

Hmm, okay. I see NO reason NOT to present it to him tonight…as his accusations are completely shabby, and could easily wind up in his being fired, should he try to carry out his demand. But here is the final draft. Before I show it to you, I want to note that, with a little hindsight, I realized that the building manager so much as ADMITTED that the dogs did NOT bite him, that day he came very close to them while they were barking up a storm, and accused accused me with:

“Oh, they DO bite!”

Because in that letter, he said he’s SURE Lucky would’ve bitten him had I not held him back on the leash. Which is blatantly untrue. The worst he’d do is nip at his heels…but he rarely even does that when someone upsets him. I know, because the few times he’s slipped from my hand, or someone came really close before I had a chance to stop him, all Lucky did was stand about a foot away and keep on barking. Flaco is the same way. And Kevin KNOWS that, because two previous times he approached them, he crouched down while they barked and extended a hand. The did NOT bite, just quieted down a few moments while sniffing him, then backed up to resume barking. Anyway, here’s my response that I will soon slip under his door (but not until you send me your opinion about it, as I value your insight):

–begin:

Dear Kevin:

Ha, ha, very funny. Everyone seems to be giving me a hard time these days. I always forget around this time of year, that it is the International Razz Zeke Week. Don’t remember when it started, but I’m guessing in 1986, the year after I flew out to D.C. to stand beside our own, gay anti-war hero, Randolph Louis Taylor, for three weeks. Which gained me a good level of fame, as a result. And many secret admirers, especially here in Baghdad by the Bay a.k.a. “Gay Mecca.”

I even had to deal with Deek’s attempted theft of the pups two nights ago, while I was taking them for a late-night walk. I couldn’t pepper spray him, because that would injure the little dogs, so had to let him run off with them. But the SFPD was prompt, and got them back into my hands within minutes…they were spectacular. I think their quick response is due, in part, to my saving the life of one of their own…again, Randy Taylor (who was a cop here, in the early 80s). At least, I like to think so.

I can NOT take your most recent, spooky letter to me seriously (as I couldn’t the previous one)…and I believe it wasn’t intended to be serious, but a joke being played on me, as part of some initiation in preparation for some sort of surprise party in my honor, that the local LGBT community has been planning for a while now. Which perfectly explains all the crises that have been popping up in my world, in recent days. For, as you well know (because you are not a dumb person by any means) all your accusations wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell before judge and jury…because neither fact based nor provable, as well as prejudicial on two counts (declaring the dogs “violent,” and projecting Deek’s stupid drug habit onto these dear little pooches…and you do know all too well at this point, that they are very sweet and kind doggies, who NEVER bite, no matter what. Curtis in 405 can certainly vouch for that!

As for your accusation that I let them run from my hovel to the front gate: not true. I wait until we get to the bottom landing and make sure no one is in the lobby, or at the gate. Then, and only then, do I let them have their little run to the entranceway. And, during that brief time, should someone show up at the gate, I have plenty of seconds to spare, to pick up their leashes before the visitor even steps in. So, you may ease your mind about that. Which is the ONLY issue I care to clear up with you…the rest is childish nonsense. And I believe you intended it that way; not as something truly serious, but as a prank. For which reason I’ve typed this kind of missive, without a copy to the property owners. Since I have no interest in jeopardizing your position as manager, or dragging this into court and creating further animosity…although I’d certainly be justified in doing so, had I not the remarkable insight of Buddhist teachings (or what I like to call “The Bodhisattva Premise”).

But I do want to thank you for adding to the adventures I’m including in my forthcoming book, “Brindlekin Tales”…since this letter, along with yours, will appear in my latest chapter…as has the previous one in my “Letter to the Landlord” pieces. Of course, I’ve changed all real names and addresses to fake ones, before putting them out there. Especially hilarious is I call “Attacat Realty” “Ablahblah Realty!” And I also want to thank Myrtle and son for playing their role so well, that I become the hero of my tales. Thank them for me, if you care to: tell them “job well done.” In fact, for that very same reason: kudos to you, Attacat Realty, and anyone else who’s played a part in shaping me into the victor. I suspect that Larkin Kelsey wrote the script, but that’s a topic for another day. At any rate, my ultimate success is written in stone, and will accomplish incredible results for the LGBT community, both locally and worldwide.

Brindlekin Tales will always be free to read online, and it’s still a work in progress…35 chapters to date! There, you may read of my many adventures around the doggies, and the inspiration they give me…including Deek’s recent abduction, and your amazing letters. Again, the URL:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/brindlekin-tales/

Ah, finally, we have reached the end of my response. In closing, I hope you had a lovely day, and will have an equally lovely evening. Yours in the Incredible Flying Spaghetti Monster who sacrificed his meatballs, that we may all have a spectacular, eternal life in this pot of tangy sauce we call “life,”

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin
LGBT and homeless activist extraordinaire

–end


Re: How’s THIS for my rebuttal to the manager’s absurd accusations:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 12:44 AM

If you think he can handle it, then by all means slip it under his door. You know him. I just don’t want him to react in some sort of reflexive, hostile way.

Oh, is that all you’re worried about, Doctor Wattson? Easy peasy as far as THIS perplexed pilgrim is concerned. He’s ALREADY acting hostile, and inadvertently DOCUMENTING it, as well! I can surely handle it. After all, he’s already in deep doo-doo by making false allegations, and allowing another resident’s son’s teenage friends to loiter in the hallway, disrupting the peace, displaying intimidating behavior, AND not wearing any mask! With ME the most impacted by such a scenario, including potential EXPOSURE to covid-19. Any FURTHER hostility on Kevin’s part will only count in my favor.

You know what just occurred to me only moments ago?

HE HAS EARLY ONSET ALZHEIMER’S, or some other variation of senility. I’ve been noticing him these past few months, not looking so chipper any more, and going up and down the stairs with less ease than ever. Unfortunately, I’m his main target of his possibly growing delusions. Which CAN be dangerous, as some at this stage (but usually later) can actually turn VIOLENT. I hate to think of him barging into my SRO and attacking my dogs, when I’m not there. Or attacking ALL of us when I AM there! After all, HE HAS THE KEYS TO EVERYONE’S APARTMENT! HE MIGHT TRY TO TAKE THE PUPS AWAY WHEN I’VE STEPPED OUT FOR TEN OR SO MINUTES…MIGHT PAWN THEM OFF TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO’D WHISK THEM AWAY IN A CAR. OR HE COULD HALLUCINATE ANYTHING AWFUL ABOUT ME, AND CALL 911. I’ve BEEN through something like this before, with a neighbor suffering AIDS related dementia who suddenly turned on me with wicked force…after my many months of friendship with him. You know this all too well with your own dear mother, sad to say.

So NOW I’m thinking: I should send a different letter to Ablahblah Realty, withOUT also sending a duplicate to Kevin, telling them I’m concerned about his behavior in recent months. This is getting VERY bizarre, I must say! I am so SICK of this drama constantly being forced upon me, by this or that dunderhead denizen of the Castro. Jeez, I have crazy Deek outdoors (and Artemis only knows how many equally-insane allies) and crazy Kevin indoors (who may ALSO have his own minions)!

I think, at this point, I must remind myself:

THIS IS ONLY A GAME OF BODHISATTVAS, INSTILLING FEAR OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN, BUT NEVER WILL. I SHALL REMAIN PERFECTLY FINE AND UNHARMED; LIKEWISE FOR THE DOGGIES. JUST RIDE IT OUT, HAVE FUN WITH IT IF YOU SO CHOOSE. YOU’RE THE HERO, AFTER ALL.

BTW, I’ve recently been enjoying meditating on S. Rohan’s superb illustrations from my first novel. Especially that one depicting three cherubs gazing at me with Keane-eyed regard, one offering me a wad of filthy lucre…which enabled me to visit Randolph in D.C. It’s been a long while since I thought about her so much, and for the last three days I’ve kept those cherubs up on my notebook screen, so I could see it right along with my Internet activities on the large, external monitor. I actually think she’s reaching out to me! Couldn’t have happened at a better time, either…it gives me solace. I find her illustrations have only grown richer in time, as has my novel. FYI, her father had just died right around the time she started the illustrations…so there IS long suffering in her creations which, she told me once, helped her through this grief. You may even read a bit about that period in our association, here:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/760-down-the-tubes/

I’ve ALSO been listening to each and every one of Marshall’s narrations of my tales on his sterling radio show, “Memo of the Weird”…along with our badinage on nights I called in. What a treat to hear them with the passage of time! That was from March 2017 to January the following year. Forty-five outstanding recordings in all, which I’ve listened to over a span of three weeks! Too bad he doesn’t seem interested in resuming my calling in, as boy do I have stories to tell these days, eh, My Dear Wattson?

Your friend truly, as always,

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Subject: We also have THIS to deal with:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 1:22 PM

This notice was posted in the lobby six days ago:

It’s almost impossible to tell who doesn’t belong in the building, unless the person looks really raunchy. We have service and delivery people coming and going all day long, and into the night. Who knows who they really are? We who live here are already strangers to each other.


Subject: Running the gauntlet
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 10:55 PM

While I KNOW Kevin’s accusations wouldn’t pass muster in a court of law, I AM worried that he might declare having my dogs here an emergency, in order to have them removed. Then I would be charged an amount I couldn’t POSSIBLY afford, to get them back. Well, that’s just one of MANY worries I could obsess over, so I won’t.

But it DOES seem to me, that my email to him about the allegation of Myrtle and son being a lie (since the pups are ALWAYS in my sight, and that incident is therefore false, because I witnessed no such thing) was never forwarded to the property owners. It’s dumb of him to bring that up again, because I already made it very clear it didn’t occur, AND their complaint about it came immediately AFTER they read my grievance against them…which is highly suspicious. But, assuming Kevin did NOT show my rebuttal to Ablahblah Realty, then he COULD come off as believable by sending his most recent argument to them.

So it may be important for me to type out a serious counterargument and send it off to Ablablah. Which I really DON’T want to do, as I’d be making myself totally vulnerable to further investigation and potential harassment, of a highly “anti-Zeke” bias. (I am a long-term resident paying very low rent, so I’m sure they’d love to have a new tenant replace me.) However, my NOT speaking out at this time may be interpreted as “evidence” that favors the building manager. Another stupid thing about this scenario, is being forced to use old-time snail mail to get all this done…thus, I must keep dragging out my printer for each letter I need to send, which is a pain in the arse. Also, I must THEN send each rebuttal via certified mail, forcing me to bring the pups into “Deek” territory. I’d much prefer to work this all out via email. I think I’ll give one of these “type and mail” online businesses another shot, as there are likely others out there, besides the USPS’s own shoddy service. Furthermore:

My key witness regarding the loitering teenagers just moved out yesterday. That would be Daniyar and his partner, who lived right across the hallway from me. Dan told me they’re just moving four blocks away…however, I don’t know their address or phone number, nor do I know if they’d care to witness for me, by a statement to my still-nonexistent attorney. And he does NOT know about the manager’s demand to get rid of the pups. He LOVES both doggies, but we are basically strangers, so he may consider my informing him of these two, difficult issues a nuisance (as well as asking him for his phone number and new address). At any rate:

I step out this morning to walk the pooches, and who should be standing right outside the gate, but Myrtle Haversak. My brindlekin started barking as they often do in the morning when exiting the gate when someone is standing nearby (but it’s also their joy in stepping outside again). Wouldn’t you know it, but, once more, Flaco escaped from her collar and ran up to Ms. Haversak…upon which she ceased barking and just stood a few feet away, looking up at her with a wagging tail. Myrtle just faced away as if nothing we weren’t there, diddling with her smartphone. I said to Flaco:

“Come here, sweetheart, let’s get this leash back on.” And that was that. Turns out I had placed the collar on her one notch too loose, before we stepped out…so I corrected that before we moved on.

Then, strolling up Noe Street, this goofball comes jogging up the sidewalk, whence the pups started barking again. He’s kind of a crazy fellow who showed up in the neighborhood about a year ago…loves to run for exercise, and ALWAYS sports a rod, which he uses for his workout routine, though it DOES appear intimidating. He’s also loud and talks scary nonsense to himself (he does NOT carry a smartphone). For which reason I do my best to avoid the jerk. However, like so many other unwelcome situations, he seems to appear out of nowhere, making it too late for me to keep a distance. As he rushed on by, he exclaimed (about the dogs):

“Ha-ha, they don’t even LIKE me!”

Some people do that, when Flaco or Lucky barks at them…as if it were a personal thing, when in fact they are simply strangers acting erratically, sometimes wielding a stick, umbrella, or other item that appears to the dogs as potential weapons. They acquired that habit, of course, by being guardians for a homeless person. But they are getting better every day, at not being so reactive. Nonetheless, all they do is bark. They have never bitten anyone, nor ever will. Once in a blue moon, some idiot will come running up to the pups and get real close and start petting them, even though they’re barking up a storm, with hackles raised. This, in spite of the fact I never gave them permission to approach the dogs, and they never even asked! Nonetheless, they did not bite.

Several weeks back, some fellow began to approach us, so I moved the dogs and myself away promptly, but he persisted, said:

“It’s alright, I know them,” and began forcing a petting hand upon their heads, despite their aggressive barks. Again, they did not bite. The guy is homeless, I think, and knows Deek, thus also knows the dogs. Don’t these pin-heads realize you do NOT approach someone’s dog without first getting the owner’s permission? About two weeks after that incident, he showed up again, out of nowhere, right when I was hitching up the pups before entering a health food store to see what kinds of bread they have. This was two blocks up a hill on Castro Street…an area where it is unusual to encounter Deek’s associates, let alone ANY houseless denizen! Because, as you may or may not know, they prefer to populate flat areas, due to the difficulty of climbing hills with their hefty possessions. Not that this particular guy had any possessions at the moment, but you get my drift.

Another time, just several days ago, I parked the doggies outside of Duboce Food & Liquor, by tying them up to the corner signpost. As I brought the items to the counter, I heard the dogs barking, so I looked out to see a woman with a dog on a leash, and one small child in tow. She was allowing her dog to sniff my own pups, but pulled it away when they wouldn’t stop barking. I almost ran out there to confront her by saying,

“Please don’t do that, you don’t have my permission!” But I didn’t.

Instead, I declared to Morley: “They’re not supposed to do that, what’s wrong with them?”

He replied, “They’ll be sorry if they tear up their dog! After all, they’re in the wrong, as you have them tied up and leashed.”

So I said, “Oh, no I don’t want that to happen, anyway. It would be miserable and probably very expensive, if they’re dog bit mine!”

“I understand,” he replied. “They really should know better, just by seeing their hackles were raised.”

So, my reflection on this morning’s brief-but-unwelcome encounter with Myrtle: she saw how harmless my dogs really are. Not that that will change her mind any, but it’s another feather in my own cap. The dogs had a good, healthy poop, and we walked about for awhile longer before returning hovel. When we did, two workmen were fussing with the ongoing elevator replacement, installing beams and adjusting whatever (gears and pulleys and such). The dogs, of course, started barking at them…though not as vociferously as in previous encounters. They are actually charmed by the pooches, and one worker crouched down to extend a hand, and asked, “Do they bite?”

I said no, they don’t.

“Are you sure?” he persisted.

“Yes, but I’m not expecting you to test that out. If they were off their leashes, they’d just run up to you and keep barking from a distance.”

Now I presume that the building manager has probably gotten to the workers, and told them his false complaint about Myrtle’s son being bitten. IOW, he’s trying to drum up new allies for his wicked machinations. So now what: I’m going to have to tell the workers my side of the story? This is absurd.

So, anyway, just another typical day of my running the gauntlet with the doggies, among neighborhood folks, some of whom are nasty troglodytes. But my main concern in this missive, is whether or not to proceed with sending a letter in my defense TO Ablahblah Realty, whether or not to deliver my humorous screed to the building manager (the one you just read yesterday), or to just do nothing and see how this ugly situation plays out further. Seems to me that timing is of the essence, in order to keep the brindlekin with me. But, my dear Wattson, I am clueless as to which path I should take, regarding both timing and content of my rebuttal. Your continued insight in this matter is MOST appreciated. I still do NOT have an attorney, which may or may not be a good thing.

Yours as always,

Z. Krahlin-Holmes


Subject: Yet another email post to attorney Kingsley
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 11:05 PM

Just sent it out a few moments ago, via his contact page. Here it is:

I REALLY NEED AN ATTORNEY! In addition to my grievance against the building manager allowing a resident’s several guests to loiter in the hallway and be a nuisance, and not wearing any mask during this pandemic (which post you’ve received some time ago, but have never gotten back to me)…the manager is now retaliating by making false allegations about the two little doggies I adopted some months back. Here is the absurd letter he sent me, which I received just two days ago:

[Link to absurd letter, same as the one above, but with names and addresses not blacked out.]

This goes back to the nuisance neighbor in question, who told the manager one of my dogs bit her son and drew blood…RIGHT AFTER they received my complaint about the loiterers, which makes their complaint highly suspicious. Furthermore, I do NOT let the dogs out of my sight, and there was NEVER any confrontation between my pups and them. Besides which, they may bark, but they have never bitten anyone. Here’s the accusation:

[Link to the accusation, but with names and addresses not blacked out. That letter is featured in chapter 26, “Letter to the Landlord (part 2).]

The immature style of his complaint, as well as totally false accusations, reflect extreme bias and needless hostility…very much not in the line of how ANY building manager should behave. I am wondering if he is suffering from a form of dementia, as his words certainly suggest someone who’s disturbed, and decided to target me. So PLEASE GET BACK TO ME, I really have nowhere else to go, as you were recommended to me by the SF Tenant’s Union. If I contact them again, I’m afraid they’ll refer me to you again, anyway, or another attorney who fails to respond. Thank you for your attention.


Re: Yet another email post to attorney Kingsley
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 1:50 PM

It’s a great letter. Hope to hell he responds.

Besides which, it’s an EASY case to win…or, more accurately: TWO easy cases to win. Now, as I mentioned in an earlier post (maybe a week or so ago), the bodhisattva spin on this, may be that they are setting themselves up to LOSE, that I may collect a substantial amount of money for my GoFundMe account. Not is all as it seems! A possible hint in this direction, is the rapid timing between Deek’s abduction attempt, and the building manager’s pathetic accusations and demand to remove the brindlekin. Hint being that the timing seems SO contrived. As well as my being put into the impossible position of risking going HOMELESS for the sake of defending these lovely pups. For the bodhisattva tenet is: “No matter how impossible your goal seems, if it is a noble one, just stand your ground at all times, and you SHALL eventually succeed.” In my case, it’s an especially PAINFUL test, as I truly have nowhere else to go…and I don’t want to lose them, nor they, me.

  • Zeke

PS: I am now putting together my next chapter, called “Pups Stolen & Returned, Building Manager Wants the Dogs Out!” Ending with this email right here…or maybe just one more piece that I started right when Kevin smacked me with his hateful letter, which I STILL haven’t gotten around to finishing, thanks to his nasty intrustion. Obviously, this absurd saga will likely spill over into one or more additional chapters. And Artemis only knows what OTHER horrific challenges shall be flung my way, on top of THIS one! Hopefully, no more. The pups, meanwhile, are as quiet and content as can be, loving these cushy sleeping bags as they laze away, Lucky on his back and snoozing with his front paws folded down and a bit of his pearly whites showing through doggy lips…spoiled rotten!


In My Defense

February 12, 2021

[Note: feel free to leave a comment below this blog entry, especially if you know Deek, and/or ARE houseless, yourself…but please wait until you’ve read this entire letter in my defense. FYI, if you are NOT living on the streets, and do NOT know who Deek is, you are STILL welcome to post a comment.]


MY BACKGROUND

This message is addressed to my homeless friend’s other brothers and sisters who also live on the streets, and who may have been led to believe that I have stolen his dogs, instead of our verbal agreement that I am their new owner, in exchange for monetary compensation. Which verbal agreement I have video recorded and uploaded here. But first you should know that, for more than four decades, I’ve been a homeless advocate and LGBT activist (mainly for those who are poor, homeless, or disenfranchised by society in some other way). I was even homeless myself, for a time, back in the mid-70s. Evidence of my history as a dedicated defender of these two groups can easily be proven by a perusal of these two websites:

http://www.gay-bible.org

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com

Here are just TWO pro-homeless examples among MANY:

Adopt the Homeless
http://gay-bible.org/truetales/6_adopt.htm

The Little Match Boy
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2014/12/08/the-little-match-boy/

And TWO pro-LGBT examples:

Hetero Shame Week
http://gay-bible.org/truetales/6_shame.htm

Oh Tremble Amerika
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2010/05/29/oh-tremble-amerika/


MY FRIENDSHIP WITH DEEK

“Deek” is not his real name, but for the sake of public exposure issues, that is what I call him in my tales. I believe his street name is “Po’ Boy.” Deek and I have known each other for more than ten years, but, since his mother passed on around six years ago, he’s developed a mean streak like you wouldn’t believe. In spite of that, I remain a good friend to him…which, I must say, is extremely difficult any more. As far as I can tell, he has almost NEVER spoken well of me to any of his street friends, despite my MANY good deeds I’ve done for him, and the MANY sacrifices I’ve made for his own happiness and betterment. Now, here’s a brief rundown of our history:

I have helped him with a weekly allowance that has increased to $60 per week, or $240-$300 monthly. I also gave him HALF of each stimulus check I’ve received (which would be $600 the first round, and $300 the second.) I’ve also done other nice things for him (and later, the pups) which cost me additional sums ranging from an extra $100 to $200 per month. I am not rich by any means, as I live humbly in a single room, and solely on Social Security (which monthly payment is now $1,345). It is rent control that, thank God, has kept my housing cost down to $310 per month…allowing me to financially assist someone who lives on the streets; and it is Deek whom I chose to focus on. Because he is, essentially, a REALLY good person.

That is, I’ve provided him with a decent allowance UNTIL adopting his dogs, for the sake of their safety, well-being and happiness…meaning that, the expenses incurred by my full-time care of the pooches make my also giving Deek a weekly allowance (or other expenditures) impossible. I have been here for him when his mother died; I have been here for him no matter WHAT the crisis. Though for a time he became so nasty towards me, that he began to threaten me with violence (such as when he said, “I should throw bleach in your face”). Which threats cross the line as far as I’m concerned, thus I broke off our friendship for almost a year. Resuming only when I saw he had acquired Lucky, and realized that, without my help, he’d lose that sweet little doggie within months, due to his unstable personality…which includes outrageous mood swings, indicative of a bipolar nature. Around six months later (much to my concern) he also acquired Flaco.

I, too, have been borderline bipolar and schizophrenic for a large chunk of my life, but now, at age 70, I have long since overcome those horrid curses through many years’ struggles and withOUT medication of any sort. Having experienced such long term mental disruptions (which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy) has enabled me to assist SOME houseless people to better deal, psychologically, with their most difficult existence, in a society that is utterly MEAN and HEARTLESS towards those without a roof over their heads. I want to point out here, that the harshness of living on the streets could make ANYone “bipolar,” or mentally unstable in other ways…through no fault of their own.


DEEK’S MANY OFFENSES

Deek will get there, too, as regards overcoming bipolarity. But in my observation, handing the dogs back over to him at this time would result in a tragic outcome. As the darling mutts’ return to living on the streets with him, will make them highly vulnerable towards injury, abduction, or grave illness, infection and even death. For any number of reasons: which include so many nasty folks out there (some are houseless, others housed), along with Deek’s own severe mood swings that sometimes cause him to be neglectful or abusive towards Flaco and Lucky. I have witnessed such neglect and abuse dozens of times, which has caused me MUCH agony and prayerful nights…never knowing from one day to the next, whether or not his pups have been stolen or injured, or in some other way made to feel miserable and unwanted. Some examples of this abuse:

– Forcing them to sleep on the cold, hard concrete during wintry or rainy weather. As well as when they must sit or lie down for long periods of time, during the day. I have invested in doggie blankets as often as I could, to help ameliorate their discomfort, but Deek seems to “lose” the blankets within a day or two…and I just can’t keep up such a rapid turnover, financially. These blankets are actually kids’ sleeping bags I purchase on Amazon for around $20 each…they are both BETTER and CHEAPER than actual doggie blankets.

– Forcing them to suffer the cold rains without ANY cover or shelter whatsoever. We had an agreement he’d bring them over to my place, to ride out bad weather, but sometimes he wouldn’t oblige. In fact, just a couple months ago he kept them with him for a full six days of nonstop, heavy rains, in spite of having easy access to shelter, via my own abode.

– Suddenly YANKING on their leashes without first giving them a heads-up. Either or both dogs could be sound asleep, or relieving themselves when rudely yanked upon without notice…which could also damage their necks.

– SHOVING them off a low ledge or similar raised platform in anger, in spite of the fact they’d be most obedient in doing so with a simple word or two. For they are VERY good-natured dogs. Abruptly pushing them like that COULD cause them injury!

– Forcefully PUSHING them away whenever one or the other wanted to show affection by licking his face. Deek acted like that’s a disgusting behavior, so he also yells at them, making them feel like they’re “bad” doggies.

– Frequently expressing anger and frustration at the pooches, which is never a good thing. As the saying goes: “There are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners.”

– Refusing to arrange to replace the rabies tags he once had for them, or to allow me to place tags on their collars with my phone number, in order to lessen the chance of them being permanently lost to him. He also refuses to work with the SPCA to get this all straightened out, including getting Flaco spayed…which would lessen her chances of developing mammary cancer, and becoming pregnant. She’d also live a longer life (1 in 4 unspayed females die of mammary cancer, by the age of 10 years). See:

When to Spay a Female Dog: the true risks and benefits.

– Blabbing on about how he’s planning to make Flaco pregnant…which would be a disaster to nurse and raise puppies on the street. And could cause their death, disease or infection, along with Flaco’s. FYI, a small dog impregnated by a large male can easily cause a tragic birth process, including death of the mother. Deek just brushed that off by foolishly declaring, “Oh, no problem, she’d just get a Caesarian at the SPCA.” Does he really think they’d allow him to keep the pups, after that, knowing he’s houseless, as well as irresponsible towards caring for his pets? They could easily charge him with animal abuse and starting a puppy mill ON THE STREETS! And as a consequence, take Flaco & Lucky away from him! Besides which, if a dog just gave birth to a litter, she will likely REFUSE to nurse, if she doesn’t feel she’s in a quiet, secure and hidden location…and how COULD she feel safe when constantly moved around and outdoors all the time, with noise, chaos and troublesome idiots abounding? Nor will she nurse the pups if anyone OTHER than Deek or myself touches them…since a stranger’s scent will turn off her mothering instinct.

– Blabbing on about probably SELLING the pups for $400, which almost gave me a heart attack! Those poor doggies would lose both him and myself, as their closest companions…now, what awful heartbreak that would be for these sweet little creatures. And who knows HOW they’ll be treated by their new owner (I shudder to think of it)? Why not let ME purchase them, so they’d not only finally have a safe, comfortable place to live while ALSO keeping them in the family? But he refused to do that, because he wanted the full sum right up front. Which I could NOT afford, and he turned down my offer to pay him $100 in four, monthly installments. Fortunately (and blessedly) however, the next stimulus check showed up in time for me to make the transaction according to his demands.

In addition to the abuse issues, are these following incidents that Deek has informed me about:

– He was beat up at least once, at night,while the pups were present. Fortunately, they were NOT injured as well, but such a possibility exists, should they be returned to him.

– I’ve witnessed Deek start needless arguments that could readily lead to a physical assault on his person. This, of course, puts Lucky & Flaco in danger, too. This instigation of pointless conflicts is a good example of Deek’s bipolar mood swings.

– His dogs’ excessive barking and nipping at strangers’ heels or pant cuffs has caused some passersby to threaten to report him to the SPCA and have the pups taken away. And without rabies tags, this would be quite easy to do! The streets are chaotic and ever-shifting, causing little doggies to become overly vigilant, nervous and defensive.

– A crazy, mean spirited person sometimes threatened the pooches, with kicks or swinging a large stick or other potential weapon at them.

– Deek sleeps like the dead when he crashes out on the sidewalk, thus his possessions are frequently stolen from his shopping cart. His doggies were likewise vulnerable to abduction, as even if they barked ferociously, it is unlikely that Deek would awaken…or surely, not awaken in time to rescue them. But even if he DID wake up in time, could he really fight the thief off (not to mention two or three of them, at once)?

As for Deek’s bipolarity inspiring him to act out pointless and dramatic scenarios, as well as stab his friends in the back, here are some sad examples:

– A couple years back, he insisted on sleeping in front of my building, with his feet dangling over the curb. I kept pleading with him to pull them back and onto the sidewalk, for his own protection…but he stubbornly refused, no matter how much I begged. Two cops later strolled by as I watched out my window, to awaken him and get him to move his feet from the curb. Which he did, but only a few minutes after they departed, he poked his feet out again. Sure enough, a little while later, someone parked their car nearby and, as it pulled back to align itself, Deek started hollered, “You broke my foot! You broke my foot!” He made a horrendous scene out there, so I called 911. There was ZILCH evidence he had been injured, as the two medics that arrived could not find ANY damage to him, not even a single bruise mark. But they hauled him off to ER anyway, just to take x-rays and be sure he was fine. What I believe really went on, was that Deek was hoping to scam whatever hapless driver parked there, into squeezing some moolah out of him. And he was REALLY pissed at me for months, for my dialing 911…which strikes me as absurd, seeing as, at that time, I thought he WAS injured, and I wasn’t about to let him writhe in agony and bleed to death right there, in front of my residence! He returned with a removable cast on one leg…you know, the kind used for mild injury, like a sprain. But he played it to the hilt: pretending he really WAS severely injured with a broken leg, while nonetheless expressing bitter hatred at me for saving his life! He has never admitted he faked it…in fact, he said he was in the hospital for three months. Which is an absolute lie, as he showed up in the Castro just days after the dubious “accident,” walking about in that roam rubber cast! Furthermore, the fact that he made such a scene right in front of my building put my living there at risk…and I simply can NOT afford to just up and move!

– I never told Deek he was welcome to sleep by, or near, my residence…that it’s okay to drop by for a few minutes, and we can hang out elsewhere, such as a block or two away. You’d think that a homeless person would appreciate the help of anyone housed, and NOT go out of his way to jeopardize their living situation! For in so doing, he screws over himSELF, as well as the person being kind to him. Because he’ll LOSE all the gifts and money so generously offered without strings attached! Yet, a couple years or so after this agreed-upon arrangement, he DID start hanging out right beside my building, or very close to it. And making tons of noise LATE AT NIGHT with his Bluetooth boombox speakers, and having his friends camp out with him. No matter how often I begged him to take it elsewhere, he’d stubbornly refuse, claiming it’s his RIGHT to park anywhere he wants. Even though I explained to him, countless times, how such behavior jeopardizes me by causing animosity from other residents, including the building manager himself. It is bipolar antics like this, that Deek winds up screwing himself over, as well as a good friend, though he doesn’t seem to care or realize that some of his behavior is responsible for at least SOME of his difficulties and misfortune in his life. Isn’t just being homeless bad enough withOUT needlessly exacerbating an already horrendous situation? And how does one think he can get out of this, by fomenting further hatred upon himself, in the very neighborhood where he has chosen to settle?

– Deek usually dumps an outrageous pile of garbage wherever he parks his ass for a time, which only serves to bring outrage upon him, by those who live nearby. This includes whenever he camped out around MY building, which negatively reflects upon ME, by all the other residents. Now how is that gonna help my friendship with him at all? I have tried, time and time again, to get him to be neater, even cleaning up after others who strew their garbage about. It would certainly impress the housed who witness such a good deed, thus benefit Deek himself, in many ways. But no, he stubbornly refuses to be other than a live version of Charles Schulz’s “Pig Pen,”

– Sometimes when I approached him with one or more of his friends present, he’d start a phony argument with me, right there in front of them! As if his turning them against me would benefit HIM in some way. I kinda suspect that some who know him at least fairly well, are aware of his occasional, backstabbing behavior; thus aren’t fooled for a minute by his feigned animosity against me. Perhaps, though, they keep their mouths shut, for the “favors” Deek gives them, in the form of cheap, hard drugs such as meth and crack. “Know what MY money is, Zeke?” he once asked me. “It’s crack. I don’t use it myself, but it’s good as cash on the streets.” This explains WHY some of his associates may be willing to back him up totally, over the false allegation that I STOLE his pups, rather than made a fair exchange. And why he REALLY did NOT want me to video-record the transaction, as that would weaken his claim against me. Though, since he wanted the moolah BAD, he agreed. I am GLAD we came to an agreement, for I feared, in his desperation for his next “fix,” he’d actually SELL those sweet doggies to just about anyone…not checking out or even questioning, whether the new owner would treat them well, or abusively.

– In spite of my generosity to him, including as much cash as I could afford to part with, Deek often tried to scam me for even MORE money. Which he always failed to squeeze out of me, yet persisted in attempting to do so, regardless. I could give MANY examples of this, but I’ll stop at two:

1) I’d recharge whatever smartphones, backup portable batteries, and Bluetooth speakers he brought to me…many of which were obviously used and quite old, because in shabby condition. So sometimes they’d fail to work, or stop working shortly after I returned them to his hand. Yet he’d BLAME me for “breaking” any such device that would not function! I’m sure that at least SOME of these devices already were useless, and he knew it…but set me up for what HE thought was a brilliant ruse. THAT didn’t go over well with me, either, because I always reFUSED to compensate him for the oodles of money he claims he spent on them (another lie, clearly). An additional boon for his smartphones was that I’d transfer to them what finally amounted to HUNDREDS of rap albums that I downloaded, as that genre is his very favorite. I’d keep this music stored on an external hard drive (as well as backed up to the cloud), so that, whenever he’d bring me another phone, I’d be ready to add as many albums as would fit the device’s storage capacity.

2) Deek started asking for his weekly allowance in advance and, over time, they were SO much in advance, it led to an entire MONTH in advance…which I finally put an end to. He’d accuse me of giving him “peanuts” because $60/week was nothing, he doesn’t REALLY need it anyway. Deek seems to equate saying “thank you” with kissing my ass; he even said as much, more than once!

MY CONCLUSION

Having now typed out in some detail, all of Deek’s bad points, I leave you with my conclusion:

DEEK IS A BIPOLAR DRAMA QUEEN WHOSE INTOLERABLE MOOD SWINGS LEAVE MUCH DAMAGE IN HIS WAKE…TO HIS FRIENDS, TO THOSE WHO TRY TO BE KIND TO HIM, AND, MOST OF ALL, TO HIMSELF! BUT WHEN A COUPLE OF ANGELIC DOGGIES GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, THAT’S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE. NO WAY WILL I EVER GIVE THEM UP TO HIM AT THIS POINT, EVEN IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!

There are those living on the streets who would most likely agree with me. Three of them are: Hollywood, Deek’s cousin Cameron, and a friendly Philippine guy simply called “Jay” (though I have no idea WHERE he is these days…he came up to me once, and said “That guy Po’ Boy needs to show you some respect!”). There are OTHERS who roam the streets at night–some houseless, some housed–who keep a watch on Deek’s doings for two important reasons: (1) to make sure he’ll be alright through it all, and (2) to also make sure his hateful gossip against me doesn’t come to harm either myself, or the pups. Deek has NO idea who they are, nor does most anyone else, and I shall keep it that way for the foreseeable future. Just be warned:

ANYONE WHO CHOOSES TO BE A PUPPET MINION FOR DEEK’S BIPOLAR MISCHIEF, SHALL REGRET DOING SO, SHOULD THEY ACTUALLY BEGIN TO TAKE ACTION TO SABOTAGE MY LIFE, INCLUDING ATTEMPTS TO STEAL THE DOGS, OR CAUSE ME MISERY IN ANY OTHER WAY. I HAVE LIVED IN THE CASTRO SINCE 1983, AND HAVE MANY SECRET ALLIES. NOT TO MENTION WELL OVER FIFTY RESIDENTS OF MY APARTMENT COMPLEX WHO HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE POOCHES, WITH WHOM YOU’LL HAVE TO CONTEND, SHOULD YOU STIR UP ANY TROUBLE.

Now having said all THAT as well, I want to declare that:

IN NO WAY DO I ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO BE HOSTILE TOWARDS DEEK. HE IS STILL MY FRIEND, AND I BELIEVE SHOWING HIM EVERY KINDNESS WITHIN YOUR MEANS IS THE BEST WAY TO GO. UNFORTUNATELY, HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHERE I AM COMING FROM, DUE TO PERCEPTIVE SHORTCOMINGS THANKS TO HIS BIPOLAR AFFLICTION AND, POSSIBLY, HIS USE OF METHAMPHETAMINE. OTHERWISE, HE’D BE WORKING WITH ME IN CARING FOR THE DOGS, EVEN WHEN I AM NOW THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN. BUT AT THIS POINT IN OUR FRIENDSHIP I CANNOT TRUST HIM WITH WHAT I CONSIDER TO BE A MOST SACRED MISSION. COMPASSION TOWARDS HIM WILL GO A LONG WAY TOWARDS RECTIFYING HIS ERRORS AGAINST ME, AND EVENTUALLY REUNITE HIM WITH BOTH MYSELF AND THE DOGGIES…AS WELL AS GET A DECENT ROOF OVER THIS GOOD (BUT MISGUIDED) MAN’S HEAD.


MY BRINDLEKIN TALES

Since late October, I have been feverishly, joyfully writing these amazing, mostly TRUE tales about my adventures with Deek and his puppies, whom I have named “brindlekin,” a word I actually made up. They will always remain free to read online, here:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/brindlekin-tales/

I have also created this shortened URL which is easy to remember, that you may more readily share with anyone else you’d like:

http://tinyurl.com/brindlekin

My goal is to get these tales published in a book that will become a bestseller. And in so doing, find a bona-fide HOME for myself, the doggies, and Deek as well. I should also point out that, in these tales I often speak highly of him, by bringing up his many good aspects. So I see no need to list them here, as this letter is already way lengthy. I also speak well of the homeless, for the most part, in that same book. As a matter of fact, if you want a recent example of how respectfully I speak about so-called “vagrants,” check out this piece I wrote a day or two before this past Christmas:

A REAL Christmas Story Happening Right Now!

It IS unfortunate that Deek is working overtime aGAINST me, which only serves to make my project so much more difficult to achieve. Yet, I guess it makes for good plot material, as everybody loves a cliffhanger! And for this reason, I suspect that Deek knows EXACTLY what he’s doing by spreading hateful gossip against me. IOW: there may be more to this fellow than meets the eye. Which theory I’ve discussed in some of my Brindlekin chapters…and I call it the “Bodhisattva (or Guardian Angel) Theory.” They are AMAZING tales, inspired by two, lovely little pups that have entered my life through Deek’s most generous hands. BTW, my theory postulates that Deek had, all along, intended to present me with these beautiful mutts, and is only creating great adventures for me to write about, through his seeming animosity…making me the HERO as a consequence.

And for that reason alone (gifting me with the pooches), I feel strongly that I should always do everything possible to maintain a friendship with Deek, no matter what…even if from a distance for the time being. My success will not only directly impact him in a most benevolent way, but likewise impact all the other houseless people he knows…and, by extension (like dominoes) impact all other street folks here in San Francisco AND BEYOND! For should my book become wildly popular to such an extent I’d collect MILLIONS, or even BILLIONS, from the royalties, I promise that I shall use MOST of the money to benefit as many homeless souls as possible. With quality housing, health care, opportunities, and a monthly stipend to meet all their needs and more (like a living wage, only they won’t be required to work). And they shall all be gifted with a lovely little doggie or two, or some other pet, if they’d like. Veterinarian care of the highest quality shall be provided gratis by my “Deek & Zeke’s Doggie Foundation.” But for now, this will have to suffice:

IN ORDER TO HELP ME COVER EXPENSES FOR THE DOGGIES, I HAVE OPENED BOTH A GOFUNDME ACCOUNT, AND AN AMAZON DOGGY WISH LIST. Which I started in mid-December, before I even thought I’d actually adopt them. You will find a link for each of these charities, plus further explanation of my personal “dog rescue” project, here:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/16/doggy-wish-list/


THE END IS NIGH (OF THIS LONG LETTER, THAT IS; BUT YES, THAT “OTHER” END IS NIGH, TOO…WHAT A CO-INKY-DINK)!

Regarding the African American gentleman who approached me on his bicycle on January 11th, around 2:45 PM, near the local public library:

I hope and pray you don’t fall into Deek’s bipolar trap, as you will be messing around with a VERY dangerous pair of dice…gambling on the perception that Deek is totally innocent, and a victim of my supposed betrayal of our friendship, and my supposed “theft” of Flaco & Lucky. Nothing could be further from the truth. In defending Deek in this matter, you are nothing more than a chump for the devil, in the form of Deek’s machinations. Do NOT be so convinced that you are on the right side of this battle, for you clearly are not. I will gladly speak to you further some time, if you put down your figurative sword and address me in a friendly, unthreatening manner.

An important warning, though: NEVER again raise your umbrella or any other object before my doggies, just to try to get them to stop barking. It is ALWAYS wrong to use fear or intimidation to coerce ANY innocent creature to do your bidding. Love and patience are the way to go, when it comes to one of God’s sweetest creatures…for the dog is man’s best friend, and dog spelled backwards is god. Looks to me like they were barking for a VERY good reason, which is: your brazen hostility towards yours truly.

Your proclamation that you’ve never seen Deek be abusive to them, either tells me you don’t REALLY know him very well, or that you are outright lying. For, in your own way, you displayed an abusive attitude yourSELF towards the pups, by the very act of raising a closed umbrella over them…a weapon as it were! Reflecting a rather LOW standard of the proper way to raise and care for a dog…and I’ve had MORE than enough of that, from Deek. And so have Lucky & Flaco, who are VERY happy under my care and protection.

It would be a most profound TRAGEDY, should you or anybody else manage to SABOTAGE this incredible and (what I believe to be) SACRED venture…that will not only benefit Deek, the mutts and myself, but be a remarkable BOON for so many others. On which side of history, and God’s judgment, will YOU choose to stand? Think about it, please, before you ever raise that umbrella again.

Most sincerely,

Deek & Lucky before adopting Flaco. Click here for a larger view.

The Plot Quickens

February 12, 2021

Subject: An example of Flaco’s moodiness when in heat
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 1, 2021 11:48 AM

But then there’s this, taken same day:

Lucky hasn’t eaten ANYthing for the last day and a half, even turning down his treats. I think he’s despondent because his sister doesn’t wanna play with him so much, when she’s in heat…and even makes sure she’s at the other end of the bed from him, when they rest or go to sleep. He just wants to play! He even tries to get her going, by crawling under a comforter and play-attacking her that way. Eventually, he gives up and just broods. I try playing with him, but even THAT no longer works; he doesn’t even tilt his head when I scritch him on the neck…he just lays there.

Lucky makes every effort to motivate her to have some fun, but she usually just ignores him, sometimes just hopping off the bed or going to the other end. He’s healthy, wet, cold nose and all, but just seems sad, as if he lost his best friend, where’d she go?

They still DO play now and then, but it doesn’t last as long, since Flaco may growl at him, or snap. In which case, her brother pushes the blanket around with his nose, to show her he means no harm, but let’s play! He never snaps or growls back, but patiently just sits or lies there, and tries again, later. He’s a very elegant, noble doggy, but I wish he’d start eating again!

Twice so far I’ve lifted Flaco from the end of the bad, and laid her back down close to Lucky. She got the hint after a few attempts to move to another spot…and seems perfectly fine with resting beside him. So, she’s not THAT moody when she’s in heat…but Lucky appears to be overly sensitive. She’s eating fine, he’s not. I’ve just read a veterinarian’s web page that says this moody part of being in heat only lasts three or four days. I hope so, because Lucky seems SO sad!

Play, Sneeze, Stare:


Re: An example of Flaco’s moodiness when in heat
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 1, 2021 4:33 PM

He looks healthy! Bright eyes and everything! It’s so hard to know what’s going on in their complicated little heads…

Yes, he’s not the least bit grumpy, and loves my hugs and attention. Which I give him plenty of, to help him snap out of it. I certainly don’t want him to languish unto death, over a jilted love that will probably resume in one of two days anyway! That’s too Gothic romance for me. They are such beautiful, sweet little angels!

  • Zeke

Subject: Appetite Problem Resumes!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 9, 2021 9:50 PM

They’ve hardly eaten ANYthing for the past five days! A nibble here, a nibble there, and that’s all she wrote. My guess is it’s lack of exercise decreasing their need to eat as much. They otherwise appear happy, content and healthy, and show NO signs of weight loss. They NEVER act hungry, either. As for laundry and preparing for the oncoming bedbug treatment:

My portable washing machine is a godsend! I can cold-wash most things with it (just not heavy items, such as coats and blankets). Then, after they dry out in a day or two, I can take them to the laundromat and put them in the driers, on hot, for 45 minutes. Thus, I can reduce the time required to take the pups with me to the laundromat…and still get rid of any potential bugs or their eggs in my clothing and other cloth items, with the heat from the driers. Once they’re cleaned and heated up, I will seal them in special travel bags that are large, made of plastic (like ginormous Ziplocs), and only keep a single bath towel and a few clothing items out until extermination day, for which I will bag them beforehand, for post-treatment drying. Once the bug eradication is done, I can unbag all the cleaned stuff. I have a supply of these special wrappers from Amazon over two years ago, just for my bedbug episodes, and they are VERY handy for this purpose.

Bedbug treatment won’t be for at lease several days, so I have the time to wash what needs washing, hang them from a clothesline in my hovel, then heat-dry them at the laundromat the next day. The four kids sleeping bags, thick coat, two towels and a bunch of cleaning rags can be professionally washed and dried by a laundry service provided gratis for tenants (paid for by Ablahblah Realty) whenever bedbugs strike. I’ve never taken advantage of this before, because I prefer to do all this on my own; however, with the doggies now here, this service will be MOST appreciated.

Just wish I didn’t have to deal with their appetite problem, the bedbugs, no safe place to exercise the dogs, potential harassment from Deek or his allies when walking them outside, the building manager’s dubious regard towards yours truly, AND animosity from the residents in 208 ALL AT ONCE! Will this bullshit ever end? Hercules and his Twelve Labors have NOTHING over me! But I DO understand what I call “The Bodhisattva Challenge,” in which I play the hero, and for which I must go through such a seemingly impossible gauntlet in order to get from point A to point Z…the latter point being a heavenly existence IN THIS LIFE, rather than proceeding onto the next one.

But how I DO wish this were all over, for once and for all! I’m disgusted with what strikes me as a horrific series of situations that are typical for the poor and disenfranchised of this world, which is neither acknowledged nor relieved by the affluent, due to their gross lack of compassion. I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANYONE TO OFFER ME THEIR BACKYARD, to not only give my brindlekin the exercise they need, but to keep them there while drying the laundry, and having my room treated! We’ll therefore be truly homeless for half a day, with nowhere really to go. Even the building manager has not asked if I need any help with the pooches, during this time…forget about any resident or other person living here in the Castro! FUCK ‘EM ALL, I say!

Thanks for being such a good listener, my dear Wattson, and allowing me to get this all off my chest.

Your faithful compadre as always,

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Subject: My Building Manager Just Made False Accusations!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 9, 11:39 PM

This was around 2:40 PM today (Tuesday, February 9, 2021):

As I was exiting my hovel, Kevin Bond (the manager) was slogging his way up the stairs from the lobby…looking rather rundown, I might add. So the dogs started barking, but Kevin didn’t pause, so I could pull them away. Instead, he walked closely past them, and Lucky then nipped at his heels and for a brief moment, clamped down on his left pants cuff, and pulled (which is what he does in play). Kevin quickly responded:

“Oh, they DO bite!”

I told him they NEVER bite. Then he accused me with:

“You’re taking poor care of those dogs!”

“That’s nonsense,” I retorted, “I take excellent care of them, and they’re doing GREAT!”

“I don’t want them running around the hallway!” he added.

“But I DON’T let them run in the hallway,” I rebounded.

Rather than converse with me like a human being to another (which I am, I assure you, Wattson, though some people accuse otherwise), he proceeded up the stairs to the next level. (And THAT’S part of the problem: he treats me as inferior to the more recent, higher paying residents. As if my living under rent control denies me rights equal to anyone else.) Whereby I called to him:

“You’re acting like a child!” To which he responded:

“No, YOU’RE acting like a child!”

Can you believe this, my good doctor? I dare say he is baiting me…hoping I’ll lose my temper, so he can set me up for eviction or, in the least, force me to get rid of the pups, that he make my life miserable. Doesn’t he realize that he’s already in a sorry position, due to permitting teenagers to loiter in my hallway, and withOUT wearing masks? Along with DOCUMENTING (in a letter to me, that he posted to my door) the false accusation by the troglodyte do in 208, that one of my dogs bit Adis, and drew blood. Whenever the heck THAT was supposed to happen, I’m sure they’ll make SOMEthing up. However, they have ZILCH evidence, nor have my pups ever been anywhere near enough to either one of the fools, to even nip at their heels!

Doesn’t he also realize he’s intentionally HARASSING me? Frankly, my dear Wattson, I’m now convinced that Mr. Bond should retire from his management position, considering what a lousy manager he’s turning into, any more! So what think you:

Should I email him with a notice I do NOT appreciate his childish behavior, that amounts to harassment as well as false accusations? That would be a hoot! And perhaps send a copy off to Ablahblah Realty, as well! Meanwhile:

I just came back from a stroll along Noe Street, when those friendly hard hats were out there, again. One of them, whose name I’ve since learned is Jesse, was SO nice to Flaco and Lucky, as he was before. And he REMEMBERED their names, addressing them as such! Well, the pooches quieted down as he talked soothingly to them, and pet them many times. We then had a most interesting conversation, including telling him about the difficulties two residents and the manager are giving me, about my brindlekin. He basically said there are lots of mean people in this world, and he doesn’t know why they just couldn’t be nice.

I assured Jesse that I’m on top of this; I’ve been through crap before, and always come out of it smelling like a rose. I just don’t appreciate the stress they add to my life, and how it interferes with my vocation, which is as an author. I also told him that I’m writing a book about my adventures with the mutts, free to read online…just google “brindlekin” and you’re good to go. Before I told him that, he admired what handsome brindle coats they have, which word “brindle” moved me to tell him about the book. He said he adopted a dog from a construction site many years ago, and had her for fourteen years. Obviously, a real dog lover, and I thanked him profusely for being so understanding and kind to my own doggos…as it helps them to socialize better.

Your friend and mutual confidante,

  • Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes

Re: My Building Manager Just Made False Accusations!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 10, 2021 12:47 AM

My advice would be to not jump the gun just yet with a complaint against Kevin. I agree that he’s just looking for a reason to stir up shit, and a complaint against him (even though justified) would incentivize him to frame you in some way. Right now, you want to keep a fairly low profile. Maybe later you’ll want to send in a formal complaint.

Thank you, Wattson; I shall heed your advice accordingly. It’s documented anyway, through our communique…and will soon be part of my next Brindlekin chapter. But why the fuck hasn’t that attorney I contacted on January 14th, never gotten in touch? I have a REALLY good case that would be a cinch to win. Ablahblah would probably go for an out-of-court settlement. I’m hoping, though, that Kevin will simply keel over soon, and that would be that. Along with the REST of the vulgar lot. :D

I DO know of one other tenant who probably complained about the doggies, and that would be “Todd” who also occupies an SRO and shares the bathroom. He’s that crotchety old fellow who moved in around twelve years ago, and has always despised me. Probably because he hanged out at the Eagle Tavern when I did (because Larkin would go there, too), and was susceptible to the nasty gossip against me. Just my rotten luck that a couple years later he moved into 9666 Market Street, on the same floor as me, AND shares the loo! I as hoping he’d eventually move out, as most people do after three or four years…but no, he’s stickin’ to the place like a barnacle (and he’s got the personality of one, to boot).

Anyway, one day around three weeks ago, I came back upstairs with the canines, and he showed up on his way out. Of course, they barked their little puppy butts off, while he stood frozen, blankly staring into the ether like the cold, undead zombie he is. Suddenly, Flaco slid out of her collar and ran up to him and, from a foot away, keep barking. So I grabbed her by the collar, told him they don’t bite while reattaching her leash. Instead of moving on, he just stood there like one of Madame Tussaud’s villainous wax figures…until I pulled the pups close to me, passed by and entered my hovel. In conclusion:

I must ALSO take into account the Bodhisattva aspect of this latest scenario, just as I have with all previous ones. For that is key to rising above ANY unpleasant challenge. In that, my so-called “enemies” are simply setting up an outcome in which I am the conquering hero. Realizing such, I remain at peace, unperturbed towards any imagined war with the Morlocks. Though should things come to that, I am confident I shall come out of this as the victor, just the same.

How great about the kindly construction worker. Animal-lovers are always the best humans…

Yes! And the fact he’s a friendly hard-hat who probably lives outside of SF, and not one of the snooty residents here, is a big plus, I’d say.

The pups did NOT touch their breakfast, except for Lucky when I was about to step out with them. He ate about a third of his dish…AFTER pushing around Flaco’s serving (which I then removed from his sight). So I was surprised that, while he said NO to that dish, he said yes to his own. And they’re identical! Flaco, unfortunately, STILL has not taken a bite. Their meals are still out, however, with hopes they dine at LEAST a tad more. They nonetheless appear most content, happy and healthy; cold, wet noses, shiny coat and all. We had another GREAT snooze last night, they are SUCH sweet company!

  • Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.

Subject: Weird & Stupid Incident Yesterday!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 11, 2021 6:12 PM

I had just stepped out with the brindlekin for their second afternoon stroll, when a skateboarding troglodyte came whooshing by from behind, on this side of Market Street. The wheels were not the usual racket you’d expect, but still, disturbing enough to upset most pooches. And so, Flaco & Lucky barked like mad as he scooted by, then turned right across the intersection.

“Oh good, he’ll soon be gone,” I spoke to myself. But right after I said that, he reversed direction and came whizzing back toward us, where he then rocked his skateboard back and forth while standing upon it…thus exacerbating the dogs further. As he jittered left-and-right (arms swaying to keep balanced, while the wheels ground rudely across the the asphalt), he exclaimed to the doggies:

“Oh, you hate black people, do you?”

You see, Wattson, the young man was in blackface. You heard me: “blackface.” Not a dark mask or bandanna, but shiny, black greasepaint applied over his entire face, including forehead and ears! Though crouching to hold his equilibrium on the skateboard, I could nonetheless see he was tall, lanky, and all of twenty years, give or take.

So I hollered to him: “It’s the skateboard!”

With that, he kicked the skateboard aside and stood there, hunched down and swinging his arms like a gorilla…implying that, if the pups don’t stop barking now, they are indeed racist! Of course they did not stop, and he knew they wouldn’t, but mockingly accused:

“Oh, you’re in trouble now!”

At that point, I pulled the dogs away from the idiot and his intentional harassment, hoping nothing will further ensue (such as outright conflict)…and, happily, it did not. Seeing as the protection of my canine sweethearts is utmost above everything else, I bit my tongue and acted the milquetoast pedestrian. Something I would NEVER have done, were I minus the pooches! I would’ve decried his blackface as disgusting, to say the least; and, possibly, pulled out the pepper spray.

I proceeded then, to Duboce Food & Liquor, and said to the clerk, Morley, “Something really weird just happened to me!” After I told him about the skateboarder in blackface, and how he harassed my doggies, he responded:

“Well, some of those black masks might upset them, because their faces are hidden.”

I responded: “No, he was in LITERAL blackface! That’s why I said the incident was WEIRD!”

“Oh,” he replied, seeming a bit confused. (Doesn’t he grasp what “blackface” means? Why is it so hard to communicate on even a basic level with folks around here? It’s like I live on a different plane of reality that intersects theirs, in which I am a lone soul that no one truly sees or hears.)

“He was probably one of those Neo-Nazi punks,” I added, as I stepped out to continue our walk along Noe Street.

Now, that’s all I had planned to write in this email, except for TWO (not one, but TWO) stupid things that just happened, upon my stepping out after composing the passage above:

I brought the pups with me to do another batch of laundry, in preparation for the bedbug treatment. I was in a rush, because the nearest laundromat (four blocks away) is on the “Pandemic Time Zone,” or IOW, they close by 3 PM, and it was already 2:45. Well, wouldn’t you know, halfway there some black dude on a bicycle approached me and queried, “Those are Deek’s dogs, aren’t they?”

So I stopped, as the dogs once more barked up a storm, and told him over the din: “Technically, no. I purchased them outright, per a verbal agreement.”

He then challenged me, saying that Deek is confused as to why I won’t return the pooches. So I whipped out my smartphone, and showed him the video or our agreement. (The dogs were barking all this time, even though he raised a closed umbrella at them, and told them to quiet down…which really pissed me off.) But less than halfway through the video, he blurted out that nowhere did Deek agree to sell them. I countered with: “You need to listen to the whole thing…will you do that now?” He said okay, so I replayed it, and he listened more carefully.

I should tell you he kept insisting I hand him the phone, he’s not a thief, he’ll return it…AS IF THERE WERE NO MORE PANDEMIC, FER CRIPES SAKE. But I refused, and just held it up, close to his face. After listening to the entire video, he declared that nowhere in it, did it show him accepting the $300, or saying that he just received that amount. Well, I said that Deek is bipolar, says one thing one day, the opposite thing the next…and has a reputation for backstabbing his friends…I’ve done TONS of good deeds for him, over the nine-plus years we’ve known each other…I realize he’s badmouthing me behind his back(as he often does)…but I’m doing him a HUGE favored by caring for these dogs, essentially saving their lives, as he started abusing them, including getting short-tempered, shoving them, kicking them, keeping them exposed to the chilly rain, and forcing them to sleep on the cold concrete.

Well, he opposed all my claims, saying that he’s NEVER seen Deek treat his dogs badly, or turn on his friends. Well, I replied, you don’t really know him very well at all. He then talked about Deek’s friends advising him to go to the police…and added, while waving his smartphone in my face (as if to cause me fear):

“I have technology on this phone, that allowed me to copy that video…so I now have it to show anyone I want.”

As if that’s supposed to impress me, eh, Dr. Wattson? So I said fine with me, then informed him it’s been on Youtube for weeks now, for anyone to see. Just google “brindlekin” and you’ll find it. Well, he whipped out a pencil and a small paper pad, and asked me to spell it out, so I did. Wherewith he finally departed, and I rushed helter-skelter to the laundromat, hoping I’d get there in time! It turned out to be five after three, but they let me in, anyway. After shoving two kids sleeping bags I use for doggie blankets (I have a total of four, so they have all the fluffy they want) into one of the larger washing machines, I took them for a walk. Returning twenty minutes later, because it had started to rain, I decided we should sit inside for the remaining forty minutes or so to run them through a drier.

But guess what: they started barking up a storm, even though yesterday they were perfectly silent! So I had to rush them home and return later, with one dog, Flaco, to collect the laundry. Seeing as she was in heat, I did NOT want to leave them both alone in my hovel. Unfortunately, it was a pretty heavy rain we had to slog through, both there and back. There was NO prediction for a storm this afternoon, that I knew of, and I had planned to take them for two long walks while the items were being washed and dried. And, ironically enough, aNOTHER friend of Deek’s–a toothless little woman I think they call “Peanut”–showed up at the laundromat while the brindlekin were still there. Of course, she insisted on talking with them, which just aroused them into barking once more!

Of course, both Flaco and I were soaking wet upon returning hovel, but I remained sopping wet for awhile longer, as I dried her off with those disposable, heavy-duty utility towels someone purchased for me from my Amazon Doggy Wish List. 160 per box! And I had YET to eat the second half of my breakfast!

So now I can’t take the doggies with me, even to do my laundry…unless, perhaps, I bring just one. Though that may not be necessary, as it was the sudden rainfall that threw a monkey wrench into my plans. But I’m wondering if I should take them on walks SEPARATELY, seeing as they are more pacific than they are as a team. I think her being in heat has made both of them more aggressive…that is, more protective, of each other. And what’s gonna happen with the “Deek” situation, now that I’ve had my first challenge by one of his puppet allies? For now, that dude on the bike will no doubt put the idea into his head to claim he never RECEIVED my payment in the first place, in hopes of riling up some of his street minions.

And this is PRECISELY what I feared would happen, should I start walking the dogs in part of the territory where his allies hang out from time to time, or pass through! But that’s EXACTLY where the laundromat is located! Now that I think of it, I should NEVER take them there again, at all. I regret having done it in the first place. But it makes things so much more DIFFICULT for me, of course. As if all this bullshit weren’t enough for a 24-hour span of time:

Last night I believe I heard Deek call to me from across the street. His usual “Yo! Yo!” though not so strident as before. It was 11:35 PM, and at first I decided to ignore him, but about a minute later I peered out the window. He was not there, gazing in my direction, but I believe that WAS him, pushing a shopping cart towards Castro Street. In sum:

Chaos, hostility and conflict are the LAST things I want in my life, but nonetheless they come to me unbidden, on a frequent basis, no matter HOW much I try to live a peaceful, sane life. But this is what it’s like to be on a low income, which forces one to exist in compromising environments populated by scads of lowbrow skunks just itching to fuck with anyone they perceive as vulnerable. And naturally, I often become their choice of target, because of my reputation as a gay activist, and the gossip around me about how I don’t “earn a living.” Not to mention all the hateful plotting against me in those gay bars South of Market, that has spilled over into the Castro and STILL lingers on, especially from one “Todd” who shares the bathroom on the same floor, and who was poisoned against me by gossipy queens years ago, when we both hanged out at the same SOMA dive, The Eagle Tavern. Ironically, he didn’t LIVE in my building at that time, but moved in several years later…long after I stopping going to the SOMA dives.

That was back in my “Larkin Years.” Imagine that: how LONG those tentacles of hatred extend so far forward into the future to remain present in my life, even today! It’s like I have barnacles attached to my aura, that I picked up while floating through an especially polluted part of the ocean of Universal Mind.

Now, I do NOT want to leave on a bitter note, so here comes the “Bodhisattva Stipulation” once again:

Those who play my enemy will increase their harassment in greater proportion and frequency, as my victory nears. Like how some people plan a big surprise party by suddenly acting surly to the lucky recipient of this honor, in order to make the surprise that much richer. The actual DAY of this surprise I do NOT know, but surely it is due, very soon. This also makes sense in light of my building manager blurting out what a lousy job I’m doing, of caring for my pups.

  • Zeke

PS: I’ve just completed, this morning, converting ALL my KNYO audio recordings of 2017-2018 into video…so they are ALL on my Youtube channel now! What a happy accomplishment. Yet, for some unknown reason, Marshall has ceased reading ANY of my pieces on his weekly “Memo of the Weird” radio show. Last of my tales he’s read was on January 8th. Totally disappointing, as he seems to immensely enjoy narrating my works, and these latest ones are OUTSTANDING material that would be an asset for ANY radio station to air. I’ve posted him several emails asking why he’s ceased, as well as telling him I’m interested in resuming my call-ins. Yet he has NOT responded to any of my emails. A new mystery to solve, I suppose…don’t you agree, Dr. Wattson, mon bon ami?


Re: Weird & Stupid Incident Yesterday!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 11, 2021 11:24 PM

Awful. I admire your restraint and your reserves of energy. Yes, one of the worst things about being poor is that you’re at the mercy of whatever fate slings at you, without the protective padding money can provide. The fucking jerk in blackface, and then the clerk not knowing what the term even means. Then the other guy accusing you of “stealing” the dogs. The brute thick-skulled aggrieved aggressiveness of the Capitol mob permeating every level of society.

Well THAT was well said, my dear Wattson! In my latest assignment to uncover a dark mystery with roots deeper than I anticipated, I have embedded myself among the apes. I forgot to ALSO mention that last night around 10:30 PM, a policeman was out front by his parked vehicle, talking with (of all people) Myrtle and her son, Adis! I have NO idea how, what, who, where, when or why, but Adis was feigning such a happy-go-lucky demeanor, it literally reeked of falsity. As if he were attempting to bury his conscience under a pile of feigned devil-may-care dirt, and plant a flower in it! If he has a green thumb, I’d say it’s GANGrenous! They are partners in crime, mother-and-son, in cahoots with Kevin Bond the building manager!

His agreement to allow her son’s teenage friends to loiter in the hallway withOUT wearing masks (and withOUT informing all residents in the immediate vicinity) makes him slam-dunk complicit. And mom and son OPTED for this scenario, to protect THEMSELVES from spreading covid-19 among each other, IOW: they shifted the risk onto my own person, and that of other residents living close by, as well as anyone passing up and down the stairs (which includes a few elderly people, two hobbling along with a cane, and another with a wheelchair).

Add to this the false accusation by mother-and-son of one of my dogs biting Adis, and drawing blood. Which accusation Kevin seemed most eager to push forward, in spite of the OBVIOUS bad timing of such a claim, because it came right on the heels of their receiving a copy of my complaint against them, to Ablahblah Realty! Ain’t they nice people! I have a feeling, Wattson, that their guts are churning with guilt, and soon worms will bust holes in their midriff to escape their horrid surroundings!

Don’t know what’s up with Marshall; like I said, haven’t seen him or talked to him in about a year…

Yes, I know you haven’t, but I wanted to reflect upon this situation, as I find it MOST perplexing, in light of the fact he HAD resumed reading my tales last month with apparent delight. Then, abruptly it seems, dropped me like a rabid porcupine. Did some ONE or some THING get to him? On another matter:

The pups ate heartily tonight, and last night…but nothing at all in the morning or afternoon. They are NOT big eaters, I must say! Now, they are happily a-snooze, lying on their backs with hind legs splayed, torsos curved, paws dangling drupaceously from their front legs, and heads turned to one side or the other: UTTER, BLISSFUL CONTENTMENT! They are smiling. I am SO glad to give them sanctuary through it all. Mine is an amazing story of how the good triumphs over evil, thus it SHALL have a most joyful ending, indeed. Which SHOULD be very soon as I have already completed 32 awesome chapters as of yesterday!

Your comrade in arms, in service always to Her Majesty, I remain:

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.



[Anamorphic reader: I neglected to include the following posts in an earlier chapter, so I thought I’d append them here. They span a period from mid-December to early January.]

Subject: Maybe you’ll read these tales I wrote, on your radio show?
From: copperbot9
To: Marshall McGee
Date: December 16, 2020 7:50 PM

Zeke here…using one of my backup emails because I know you blocked my main one. I’m in a new cycle of writing, which results so far have been really good…and I think you’ll enjoy them. There are five in all; two
are very brief. I will provide the links to them below (from my WordPress blog) followed by a duplicate of each of them in pure text, via other links I have set up on my Gay Bible website. I also want to inform you that a Youtube narrator by name of Curious Raven has recently read two of my horror tales, and posted them to her channel. You’ve already read them on your show, but I think you might enjoy listening to her uniquely eerie style.

Skin in the Box & The Screaming Machete by: Zeke Krahlin
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/15/thank-you-curious-raven/

Furthermore: I will no longer post a barrage of articles to the MCN listserver, because I need to focus on this latest burst of creativity…including my new project to help provide for two homeless doggies that my street friend of many years, Zayne, adopted. In fact, the stories I’m linking you to are all ABOUT him and his pooches, Lucky & Flaco (pronounced “flah-koh,” it’s Spanish for “skinny.”) Tale #1 is very short, and describes some pics included therein…but listeners will get the full gist of it without these images, just the same. Now
for the WordPress links (followed by their matching text links). They are in chronological order, from top to bottom…so best read in that manner:

–begin list:

More Than a Hole in the Ground (blog):
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/10/30/more-than-a-hole-in-the-ground/

More Than a Hole in the Ground (text):
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/more-than-a-hole-in-the-ground.txt

=====

I’m Counting on His Hug (blog):
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/11/11/im-counting-on-his-hug/

I’m Counting on His Hug (text):
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/counting-on-his-hug.txt

=====

3-Night Dogs (blog):
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/14/3-night-dogs/

3-Night Dogs (text):
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/3-night-dogs.txt

=====

Surprise! Jackets Have Arrived! (blog):
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/15/surprise-jackets-have-arrived/

Surprise! Jackets Have Arrived! (text):
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/surprise-jackets-have-arrived.txt

=====

Doggy Wish List (blog):
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/16/doggy-wish-list/

Doggy Wish List (text):
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/doggy-wish-list.txt

–end of list

Thank you for your thoughtful attention, Marshall.

  • Ezekiel J. Krahlin

Subject: Today marks the day I announce my tales to San Francisco!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: December 25, 2020 4:28 PM

Gay papers, Reddit, Twitter, and so on. One great example of how I’m presenting myself, is here on Reddit:

There are THREE SF related forums on Reedit. Deek will eventually catch wind of it, and probably be furious. However, this is my attempt to secure the safety of my brindlekin, by turning it into a citywide phenomenon. Readers will come to understand my horrid situation, and offer REAL help. Maybe even the SPCA will join in! Another benefit of this kind of promotion, is that readers will also discover my Amazon Wish List and GoFundMe appeal. I just got the idea to do this a scan moment ago. Yay!


Subject: Brindlekin Tales, a work in progress
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN, Discussion MCN
Date: December 26, 2020 6:05 PM

I have just created a separate section on my Zekeblog, called “Brindlekin Tales.” This is so I can reorganize those blog posts about the two little doggies that are inspiring me to write a book about them, chapter by chapter. It’s a work in progress, and you can subscribe to my WordPress blog, to keep up with my tales…or not, because I’ll also post my latest blog entry here, too.

The link is below, in my new sig. Thank you everyone who has given me such incredible support, whether money, gifts or kind words…thus inspiring me further, and to greater heights.

Included in my gratitude are those who’ve played my enemy, and perhaps will continue to do for awhile longer. They’ve done a bang-up job of challenging me to grow stronger and wiser, and not go soft on me. As the Buddha once said:

“We have no enemies, only teachers.”

So HAPPY EXMASS TO YOU ALL! 2021 will be an unbelievably incredible year!


Subject: Update to my next tale you will read (and other info)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Marshall McGee
Date: January 4, 2021 1:02 PM

First, I thank you for another excellent reading of one of my turgid little masterpieces, which has just been spliced and uploaded to my Youtube channel’s “Brindlekin Tales” playlist at:

Notice I’ve changed the title of these tales from “Lucky & Flaco: A Tale of Two Doggies” to “Brindlekin Tales.” I’ve also changed all real names to pseudonymous ones, including: “Zayne” is now “Deek,” “Lucky” is now “Taco” and “Flaco” is now “Wiley.” And YOUR pseudonym is “Marshall McGee,” ha-ha.

I have made some minor edits to the next two tales on the list I sent you, of which three remain. The third one (Doggy Wish List & GoFundMe) includes a MAJOR edit. Please get the updated versions here (notice I’ve included the approximate reading time for each). The text version is below each web link:

Ch.3: 3-Night Dogs (15-19 minutes)
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/14/3-night-dogs/
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/Chapter-3_3-night-dogs.txt

Ch. 4: Surprise! Jackets Have Arrived! (10-12 minutes)
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/15/surprise-jackets-have-arrived/
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/Chapter-4_surprise-jackets-have-arrived.txt

Ch. 5: Doggy Wish List & GoFundMe (2-3 minutes)
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/16/doggy-wish-list/
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/Chapter-5_doggy-wish-list.txt

Being that these doggy tales are up to chapter 16 with no end in sight, you might consider reading a second tale of mine on the same night, outside of these, because VERY funny! Since “Ch. 5: Doggy Wish List & GoFundMe” will take less than three minutes to narrate, that would be a good evening to incorporate an additional tale. Here are two, recently composed and utterly hilarious, pieces which I’m sure you will immensely enjoy broadcasting:

2021 is Going to be a FANTASTIC Year! (4-5 minutes)
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/29/2021-is-going-to-be-a-fantastic-year/
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/2021-fantastic-year.txt

My Year of the Wig (16-20 minutes)
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2021/01/02/my-year-of-the-wig/
http://www.gay-bible.org/1-Marshall/my-year-of-the-wig.txt

Or, if you’d like, we can resume our call-ins, to which I am much more amenable than previously, due to newfound confidence. At which times I can read any of my non-doggy pieces. Just say the word!

As you can see (or will very soon see), I have made a TREMENDOUS leap in my gifts as an author…which commenced around the end of last October. And as a result, I believe each and every one of my new tales will immeasurably improve the lives of those who read them, because they are MOST inspiring, captivating and a delight to read. Not to mention, in some cases they’re real cliffhangers!

BTW, my Brindlekin Tales are now online, as a lovingly designed page called “An Adventure in Process” here:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/brindlekin-tales/

Most sincerely, appreciatively and joyfully:

  • Ezekiel J. Krahlin

PS: Feel free to read this missive online, if you’d like…including that passage about the pseudonyms.


Subject: Here’s a proposition for ya!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Marshall McGee
Date: January 9, 2021 5:30 PM

While I AM delighted that you read ANYthing by me over the airwaves, I WAS disappointed that you did not read the next consecutive chapter of my Brindlekin Tales, which is chapter 3. Instead, you read just an excerpt from my latest chapter. My reason for the disappointment, was because I was looking forward to uploading each of my chapters narrated by you, to my Youtube channel…offering therefore a new chapter each week for my growing base of fans. So here’s my proposition:

That you narrate each of my growing collection of chapters once per week or more (however you please)…OFF THE AIR, then make each recording available to me for download. What’s in it for you:

As I climb to fame, you would too. Your narrations would be featured on my Youtube Brindlekin page, as well as linked via my WordPress Brindlekin blog. They will also be posted to my Facebook and Twitter accounts, also named “Brindlekin.”

And since EVERYthing I write I regard as public domain, you are free to use your recordings any way you want, including of course, playing them on your own radio show. My Brindlekin tales average almost a half hour each, in reading time. Longer ones can be broken up into two parts…as I already have one chapter that takes 55 minutes to read. I think a half hour or a little less is the perfect length for Youtube narrated videos.

Otherwise, my only option would be to recite these tales myself. My smartphone has pretty good recording capability, but it certainly does not match the quality of your own audios. Nor do I have the peaceful ambiance by which to narrate, even late at night. But it’s doable.

Having said this: if you prefer to go your own way, and read my stories whenever and however you please, more power to you, Marshall. I would STILL consider it both a delight and an honor.

  • Zeke


Exciting Changes Continue

February 8, 2021

Re: Resolution regarding my complaint to the landlord
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Carlyle Lambourne
Date: February 1, 2021 2:56 PM

Sigh.. If he wants them back, I suppose that might be for the best.

Not on your life! Don’t you realize they are little doggies, who’d most likely DIE as a result of being forced back onto the streets, what with all the crazies out there, addicts and drunks and just no-good scum? Deek had been forcing them to be entirely exposed to the cold rains, and made them sleep on the concrete, shivering.

So, no, it’s NOT for the best to give them back to him. He was just scheming to squeeze $300 out of me, never intending to really sell them to me. So he figured to show up a week or two later, claiming I took advantage of him in a weak moment. Well, I took a video of our verbal agreement, which legally gives me ownership of the dogs. Lock, stock and barrel. I don’t see why on earth you would suggest I return them, Carlyle! They’ll get sick and unhealthy in no time.

Deek is BIPOLAR on top of being a meth addict. He’ll say one thing one day, and the opposite the next So I have to decide on which things he says to follow up on, and throw away the rest. He’d HATE me if he lost those dogs, after I hand them back to him. He’d BLAME me. So, in order to protect the dogs from both the harshness of the streets, and Deek himself, I’m taking good care of them, for the time when he gets his act together, has a roof over his head, and no longer is abusive. But if he doesn’t meet all those prerequisites, too bad.

You could still be their friend, and maybe even keep the homeless friend as a friend.

If I return the pups he will avoid me like the plague…I will never see any of them again. Besides, one thing about my “friend” Deek: he’s always coming up with horrific crises to get you wrapped up in them. He’s a walking disaster machine. I’ve had enough of that. The only reason I resumed our association two years ago, is that I saw he had acquired a lovely dog…and I knew that, without my help, he’d lose it in no time. Then, as more time passed, I saw he was abusing them. Not out-and-out violence, but bad enough.

I know that dog companions can be very important to homeless people who don’t have a lot of human friends, and find the dogs to be more loyal and dependable through thick and thin.

True enough, but many of the homeless are too mentally incompetent to care for a dog, let alone themselves. NO dog should be forced to live on the streets, period.

Reminds me of a Bee Gees song from “Mr. Natural”: https://www.flashlyrics.com/lyrics/bee-gees/dogs-28

It essentially romanticizes and excuses homelessness for our innocent canine creatures. And romanticizes homelessness for humans, too. Disgusting. Just HOUSE all the poor, period…then their dogs would have a home, too. What the FUCK is wrong with this country? I curse it to the ground.

  • Ezekiel

Re: More Exciting Changes in my Life!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 1, 2021 4:47 PM

Great letter.

I consulted my story cubes to get the product out. :)

So now we know Flaco’s “intact.” Lucky must have been fixed, otherwise he’d be on her like a…well, like a hound dog. Hope no giant horny mastiff catches a whiff and jumps on her when you’re out with them Though I know you’d protect her.

I’ve known that all along, just assumed you did, too. Remember when I worried she might be pregnant? Also, yeah, he’s fixed…that pic I linked my last message to certainly reveals that. No male dogs have seemed to be a problem during our walks. And I don’t think I have to worry about mastiffs on the loose, in this area…after all, this is not the moores of Baskerville! Speaking of which: the first chapter of Friendly Ghost Detective Agency will be called “The Hounds of Basketville”…Basketville being the nickname for a mental institution outside a small hamlet. And involves an ancient, sacred relic: “The Shroud of Dachsund.”

Though Flaco herself is a bit more aggressive, ready to bark at the drop of a bandanna…but that’s outdoors only.

Your stories of residents past are vivid and poignant. I salute your courage and nobility. And resourcefulness.

And it looks like the time has come for me to collect the dues. Who owes whom…landlord or tenant? I think we BOTH know the answer to that!

  • Zeke

Subject: A pic and brief video of Lucky & Flaco
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chuck Kapinski
Date: February 1, 2021 5:43 PM

Video is just 15 seconds:


Re: Ah, America, Land of Christianized Violent Nut Jobs!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Carlyle Lambourne
Date: February 1, 2021 6:13 PM

Yes, tell it. The kooky Christians think that “The Left” is responsible for all the evils in the world, but they are really the ones causing most of the, problems that we have today, from the climate of hate, to the planet-threatening climate change to the environmental degradation, to the march toward dictatorship and destruction of democracy.

These kooky Christians are our taskmasters (or “bodhisattvas” so to speak, when thought of in terms of Buddha’s statement, “we have no enemies, only teachers”…and if we can’t overcome their brutal challenges and onslaughts, then our species should just perish.

We are supposed to trust the vote

I NEVER have trusted the vote…not since Prez Clinton signed DOMA and DADT. I dropped out of the Democratic Party as a result, and I DON’T EVER CAST MY VOTE for ANY thing, or ANY election any more. Voting in America is a RUSE, to soothe the masses into believing their vote holds any power, that our voices are heard. POPPYCOCK. There are many other, REAL ways one can shift society into a compassionate direction. In my case, that’s through my writings…as it is in your case, as well. My words are about to flood the market, and cause deep and profound changes that will make this world a MUCH better environment to live in…and not just for LGBTs (who will, though, be the FIRST to benefit from my creative outpouring), but for ALL oppressed minorities, for women, for the entire human race…as well as for all living creatures everywhere. A number of my pieces include our dialogues, using the pseudonym Carlyle Lambourne in your case, with the occasional exception. A great example is in the following piece in which you are “Grrrrrrr” and I am “Beel Zebub”:

E-mails from Beel Zebub in Some Future Time to His Great, Great, Great, Great Grandson ‘Grrrrrrr’ in the Present

So, kudos to your brilliant contributions, without which my struggles would NOT succeed anywhere near as well, as they VERY soon, shall. The Age of Aquarius has TRULY begun with our recent winter solstice…as indicated by the miraculous transformations in my life around that time (starting on the eve of Halloween, actually), and still going strong.

We are the ones who could have rightfully stormed the White House, or that sick excuse of a “Justice” Department.

And so we shall, just wait and see, Carlyle. And I guarantee: you won’t have to wait very long at all.

Children in cages is enough.

Yes, we SHOULD stop with children in cages…because, well, shouldn’t ALL children be in cages anyway? “Seen but not heard,” as the saying goes. I think W.C. Fields would agree with me on that one. As I like to say: “Let us not throw the baby out with the bath water…after all, water should be recycled!”

My gay sci-fi tale, “The Mask of Horus” opens with a scene of a factory worker and soldier, Horus, slicing babies in half as they slide down a chute from an assembly line. I think you’ve already read it, but that was years ago (1999). You can either read it again, here:

http://gay-bible.org/write/2_horus.htm

Or listen to Marshall McGee’s wonderful narration of it from his weekly show on KNYO radio up in Mendocino county…it’s in two parts:

I suggest, however, that you read the prologue and “Letter to the Global Lesbian & Gay Community” that introduces the written version of this story, which is NOT included in the audio version.

If the red states want to send violent nut-cases like Margorie Taylor Greene to Congress, then the red states would deserve it to be red with blood in the 2nd Civil War for which they are hankering and cannot imagine themselves losing.

Our revolution shall be both totally bloodless, as well as totally victorious. I actually think you know that, and have for quite some time…I’d say, even BEFORE we ever met in cyberspace…day 1 being some time in 1997. And that your occasional, seemingly naive, comments in response to mine are but serving the purpose to fine tune my own spiritual progress. For you ARE one of my guardian angels (or “bodhisattvas”) assigned to watch over me, for my incredible destiny as a global power that will first liberate all sexual minorities, then everyone else. I dare you to deny that!

Some day we shall meet in person, and oh, what a frabjous day that will be!

Your gay comrade in arms,

Ezekiel J. Krahlin


Subject: I Broke Down and Got a Second Smartphone!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 1, 2021 7:22 PM

Because I want one phone to carry outside with me, withOUT a SIM card, to use for taking pics and videos, calling 911, and public wifi. And I want a second phone WITH a SIM card, just for voice calls, texting, Amazon home delivery verification and 2FA (two factor authentication)…that stays in my hovel at all times, thus not vulnerable to loss or theft. I got the cheapest service, $5/month…no data, just 100 minutes of voice calls, and unlimited text. So I went for this one, which costs just $50, and is totally compatible with Tello cell service:


Re: Resolution regarding my complaint to the landlord
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 1, 2021 7:56 PM

Hear, hear!!!!

Woof, woof!!!!

I don’t know WHY Carl is talking like that…I’m rather disappointed. More good things are coming in from my Doggy Wish List: two harnesses, electric dog nail grinder, more canned food. Amazing!

My new smartphone arrived, and it turns out NOT to be compatible with Tello cell service. Strange, because it fits all the specs needed. No big deal, though, as my present phone IS definitely compatible, because its IEMI number is on their list. The dumb thing about finding out whether or not a smartphone is compatible, is you have to actually OWN the phone, to do that! This is a poor assumption, as I’d imagine not everyone wants to switch their present phone to their serve…more likely, they’re looking to buy a phone that will be compatible; but this issue is based on the phone’s IEMI number, which you CAN’T know until you have purchased and received it! So, even though my new phone meets all the specs, turns out the IMEI number does not match their database records. But it’s a good phone nonetheless, I’ll just use THAT one for my “outdoor” phone, instead of the older one. Well, I’m waiting on the delivery of my SIM chip, which should arrive in three or four days.

I’m enjoying the heck out of Amazon Prime’s movie library…presently watching a horror film that takes place in a museum. Not the brainiest or deepest stuff, but a fun way to relax with the pups. Last night, I watched another scary film, this one about a missing child in upper middle class suburbia. I just LOVE seeing the elite be terrorized, one way or another!

A few days ago I ordered 5 lbs. of USDA certified, raw, unfiltered Idaho honey for just $25! This is part of my struggle to stop going to Emboldened Produce health food sture, run by a Cambodian family that is not always friendly. They sell my favorite raisin bread (Alvarado Street’s sprouted whole grain), and Wild Mountain Raw Honey (which there, costs $15 for two lbs. a lot cheaper than the other brands…but not as cheap as my Amazon purchase). So, Amazon sells a different brand of raisin bread, Ezekiel’s, which is just as good, if not better. So, very soon, I can STOP going to Embolden Produce for good. Unfortunately, however, Amazon delivery failed to get it here, claiming a problem with dropping it off. In SPITE of the fact my instructions as posted on my Amazon account, is just to deposit it in the lobby. I rarely have this problem with them, but it happens once in a blue moon. This is directly the consequence of smartphone ubiquity. Well, I’ll soon have my own smartphone number, which will take care of that for once and for all. And the 2-day delivery is excellent for my situation. The dogs and the pandemic and my living w/o a vehicle, make it MOST difficult to go to different stores to find what I need, including groceries. While there’s a Whole Foods just three blocks from me, I really prefer to avoid any and all supermarkets. You need Amazon Prime to purchase food stuff, and I now have it. They have MANY items I prefer, that I can no longer get elsewhere…such as almond and cashew butter, that I used to shop for at a Target near the private library I frequented (pre-pandemic). And for a very good price. Amazon’s price is identical. Final thought on brick & mortar vs. online shopping:

If local shop owners resent the brutal competition from cyber businesses, perhaps they should not take out their idiosyncrasies and stress on their customers that could drive them away! I’m GLAD to be done with that Cambodian family health food store!

GOOD NEWS!

Lucky ate his whole meal this evening…and they played like wild foxes afterwards. I guess Flaco’s estrus irritability is now calming down. So it looks like when SHE is feeling out of sorts, it impacts Lucky directly and immediately. Of course, my showing them much love and patience through it all, has no doubt been a boost for both their innocent souls. They are now resting on the cot, spread out across the pile of comforters, totally content with bellies full and hearts rekindled.

Flaco competes for my attention, to the point where, sometimes when I go to hug Lucky, she shoves herself right between us! But Lucky will just step back and start pulling on her tail, which makes her focus switch from me, to him. Ha, ha, so cute. Lucky is VERY kind, protective and patient to his sister. And he got her to start play-fighting again, after his many failed efforts that made him feel dejected and not wanting to eat. They are actually very affectionate towards each other, and I think one would perish from heartbreak if the other disappears. What an amazing turn my life has taken these days, eh, Wattson? Who’d have though just a short while back, I’d wind up with not one, but two, sweet pups in my life, while living in just a single, rundown room…AND NOT GET EVICTED for making the decision to be their guardian, without first asking permission from the building manager. Of course, so much shit has been recently dumped on me by some others in this edifice, and I’ve fought back so successfully, I don’t think even Ablahblah Realty wants to tackle with me!

My life has turned into a beautiful fairy tale that only gets better with each passing day…but STILL too much pre-Prince-Charming Cinderella, and not enough cowbell! So at some point (I wonder when that morning will be) I will wake up with a brand new set of sparkling, pearly whites without EVER have to see a dentist. That will surely be a most interesting day! I’ll be running around the Castro with the broadest grin ever, telling everyone I meet “A miracle has happened!” while pointing at my teeth. But, since no one knows me around here, I will suffer the same fate as Cassandra, in a way. For they never witnessed my rotten old teeth, thanks to the mask mandate!

In appreciative confidence, I remain your lifelong friend and associate detective,

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Re: [MCN-Announce]- Fwd: People Injured By COVID Vaccines In U.S. Will Not Receive Compensation From VICP
From: Zeke Krahlin MCN
To: Discussion MCN
Date: February 4, 2021 12:56 AM

On 2021-02-03 22:24, Helen Tosser wrote:

Dear Zeke, it’s surprising to find you burrowing your head in the sand about childhood vaccinations. Why don’t you RESEARCH the issue?

Your IQ is too low to comprehend that I HAVE researched the issue, far more thoroughly than YOU have.

Peace and blessings, Helen

Listen, you old, hypocritical, anti-LGBT/anti-sex/anti-sex-ed/anti-birth-prevention/anti-women’s-rights witch: your own arrogance comes shining through in your very ignorant and self-righteous post that I’m responding to, right now. YOU are the one who has NOT provided even ONE shred of evidence for your antivaxxing conspiracy bullshit.


Subject: A little gift for Surely. <3
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 5, 2021 8:35 PM

2 smokin’ doggie porn videos he won’t see on my Youtube channel!

My room has always been an R&R depot for hot young Blue Rose Militia recruits (a private space for privates and their private parts), so why not for the pooches, too? First time anything heterosexual has ever happened on my bed…or anywhere else in my hovel, for that matter! But for the love of Canis familiaris, I’ll make that one exception. Cheerio, Wattson! And give some hugs and a few comradely “woofs” to Surely on my behalf. For as you’ve said in an email some months back (paraphrasing): “He’s the best little doggie a little doggie could possibly be.”

Amazing how I’ve met so many folks in the Castro/Duboce, thanks to others who adore little doggies. Very important that I finally get to be known in my neighborhood, after living here for SO many years. I tell each new neighbor I meet, to google “brindlekin” to learn more about how these two golden-cloaked darlings came into my life. Two days back, as I took them on their usual walk up Noe Street, several hard hats restoring a house paused to admire Flaco & Lucky. They were absolutely charmed by them, in spite of Lucky’s persistent barking, as a protective shield for his sister. “Wow!” said one crew member, “His bark is like a dog twenty pounds heavier!” To which I replied, “Yeah, I’m thinking about hiring them out for Disney’s next doggie film.” So now on my walks, I have a canine-loving group of dudes that will be an aid in helping the pooches socialize with other humans, besides myself and Deek. As for my across-the-hall-neighbor, Daniyar:

I’ve only seen him once since our fine badinage last Saturday, which was four days later. Dan and his almost-teacup chihuahua snuggled in his arms had just emerged from their apartment as I headed down the stairs. “Why, hello!” I cheerfully greeted…but not one whit of acknowledgement back at me; it was like I wasn’t there at all.

“Hmm, interesting,” I thought as I strolled with the pups through a shady, tree-lined side street. “Maybe he checked out my Brindlekin Tales as I suggested, and came across my ‘Letter to the Landlord (part 4)‘…and doesn’t appreciate my including him in it. Especially in the context of my current dispute with that Myrtle/Adis duo in 208, with Dan and partner being potential witnesses against them, and, possibly, against the building manager as well.”

After all, I would think that–upon scrolling through the table of contents–the phrase “letter to the landlord” would catch his eye immediately, since he also resides in the same edifice. Hence, likely to be the first chapters he’d read (of which there are four so far, and hopefully no more). Be that as it may, my dear Wattson, I am prepared for any further ectoplasmic extrusions that may erupt around this case, no doubt exacerbated by the devilish spirits haunting this spookiest of Castro habitations. I have yet no idea of who or what these poltergeist are, but I assure you: I WILL get to the bottom of this, should I remain here or not…whence this astounding case will FINALLY be settled to the satisfaction of ALL parties involved, whether flesh or ghost. As for my cell service adventure:

While my Tracfone device IS declared compatible with Tello’s service, based on their IMEI number database–and I have received the SIM chip three days ago, and inserted it–the phone refuses to let me dial any number except 911. I tested numerous times by attempting to call my own land line, but only get a recording from Verizon that, if I want to make a call, I can do so via my credit card, or collect! But, since Tello uses Sprint only, I figured out that Verizon intercepts any unsubscribed phone in the ether, as a money grab. I posted my problem via Tello’s help request form page, only to receive a generic “have you tried any of these solutions” response. So I posted back, saying, yes I have, but none of them resolve the issue. What the heck is going on?” Still awaiting their next reply. Meanwhile:

Yesterday I signed up for a wifi based phone service, “Textfree Voice,” that gives you free calls in exchange for watching video advertisements (1 minute per 20-second ad). Well, I just play the ad with the volume off, and do something else…ha, ha. But even THAT’S not necessary, as I really only need to text, which is free and unlimited. Amazon Prime requires texting only (no voice calls), to synchronize package deliveries. I can also use texting exclusively, for 2FA (two-factor authentication) for my online activities. There is one question I have, though:

Will Amazon accept wifi-only phone numbers as equivalent to cell service ones? I’ll soon find out, I guess. But if they do, I can just cancel my Tello subscription. But if this Textfree service IS acceptable, I’ll gladly pay THEM $5/month for unlimited voice calls. What I’m ALSO wondering, regards 2FA’s reliance on a smartphone:

What happens if you should lose your phone, or it craps out? You’re really up a creek without a paddle, eh? This page has solutions:

https://www.howtogeek.com/358803/what-to-do-if-you-lose-your-two-factor-phone/

Nonetheless, I intend to keep my Tracfone hovel at all times, and just use my new BLU Advance 5.0 phone, whenever I step outside. Which I can use for taking snapshots and videos, listening to downloaded podcasts, dialing 911…and, of course, to have Deek’s verbal contract (that I now own the doggos) available wherever I go, in the event any of his “friends” should challenge me. It hasn’t happened yet, thank Hera. So if THAT phone gets lost or stolen, my dialing/texting service (whether cell or wifi) remains intact, because only on my BLU device. Different topic now:

The bedbugs are back (surprise, surprise), so getting everything arranged for the exterminator’s arrival will be an especially difficult challenge, now that I have my furry roommates. Taking them with me to the laundromat is not something I look forward to, as it brings me deeper into that part of the Castro where I am more likely to encounter Deek or one of his allies. Plus: who knows what other dog may be brought inside, that may or may not cause some havoc; not to mention any crazy vagrant that decides to show up and be a gross disturbance! I COULD leave them inside, and just run back hovel after getting my laundry started…for both washing and drying. So, if I’m really fast when they’re done drying, I shouldn’t be gone for more than twenty minutes, probably less, as I will not fuss with folding. I think I’ll do it that way, as they’ve always been quiet and calm when left alone…I just haven’t done that yet, for more than ten minutes.

Well, that’s it for now, Wattson! I hope your day is going splendidly, and that you’ve made further inroads towards emerging from your prolonged crisis.

In all sincerity, I remain your friend and confidante:

Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Re: A little gift for Surely. <3
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 4:15 PM

Gracious goodness!!!!

Yes indeed…their ankles show in every frame, making the videos EXTRA racy!


Subject: Flaco in Blissful Rest
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 6:05 PM

Just a single, lovely little pic:


Re: Flaco in Blissful Rest (and URGENT update)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 8:38 PM

IMPORTANT: Please be sure to read the last two paragraphs of this missive, if you are too busy to read it in full, at this moment. Thank you kindly, Dr. Wattson!

Luv-er-ly!!

These doggies never cease to charm me. Anyway, they’ve been eating very little these past two days…maybe a third of their usual consumption. And this morning, they refused to eat ANYthing! Even though their meals continue to be infused with ground up pieces of duck jerky (their favorite). Yet they seem quite unphased: content and cool, wet schnozzolas. However, some moments ago I started hearing little squeaky, grumbling noises coming from Lucky’s stomach. He’s just lying on his back, happy and unperturbed through it all. I’m wondering now, if the duck jerky is too rich to give them in the amount I use to whet their appetites. Then I notice this:

So I just posted it to Imgur with the caption: “This blue-green marking is located at the base of my neutered doggie’s wanger. Anyone know what this is?”

Do you have ANY idea, Wattson? Anyway, Lucky’s stomach grumbles ceased after several minutes. Furthermore:

I am concerned about the bedbug treatment that will take place next week. When it’s supposedly “safe” to return to my hovel (after three hours), everything is damp from the pesticide spray, so they’ll get their little paws wet immediately. Well, I’ll have to lay down newspaper everywhere before I even let them in. This treatment is supposed to be safe for canines, and we have many dog lovers in this building. So if it weren’t, I’m sure I’d’ve heard about it before now. But what choice do I have, as there is nowhere I can keep them for even another day or two! What a fragmented, antisocial culture is this city, and Amerika at large! When you’re poor, you’re fucked. Also:

I have since cancelled my Amazon Prime account, as their Whole Foods delivery includes “fee adjustments,” whatever that means. But when I was about to place my first order ($48), this adjustment came to an additional $9! Plus, a suggested tip of $5. What on earth is this adjustment…they neither explain it on the order page, or anywhere in their help files. Change in price of one of more items, right when I’m about to make a purchase? How convenient for them!

They also strongly suggest you allow a replacement option for any item you order, that is not in stock at the moment…so they can replace it with an “equivalent” product. Now what does THAT even mean? I like brands of jam that are sweetened with fruit juice, not sugar or corn syrup…will they comply with that, if replaced? And what about the cinnamon raisin bread I prefer, that is made from sprouted whole grains…would they replace that with an unwholesome white flour version, or a brand of whole grain bread that has unhealthy additives such as corn syrup (I’m thinking here of brands like Orowheat and Thomas’).

As for Tello’s inexpensive cell phone service: they have yet to get back to me, regarding the fact that, after installing their SIM chip and registering, I STILL cannot make any calls. So I’m ready to cancel them, too. But I don’t need them now, anyway, as the main reason for finally breaking down and using a cell network, was that Amazon Prime requires it.

The five pounds of raw, unfiltered Idaho honey I ordered for $25, STILL hasn’t arrived, after just one unsuccessful attempt to deliver on January 31st, with a claim they’ll try again soon. But so far, no further attempt has been made! I think SOME of Amazon’s delivery crew don’t even bother to drop off your purchase if they can’t reach you immediately via a smartphone. As if it were a Herculean task to just deliver the package the “old fashioned” way. It is RARE this occurs, which it has for me two previous times, in the 8+ years I’ve been an Amazon customer. So I sent a complaint to the seller, who hasn’t gotten back to me yet, but no doubt will answer with something like: “We have no control over the actual delivery.”

Then some other cyber problem popped up three days ago, regarding Youtube’s Premium Music service. I had accidentally clicked on their “free trial” button with a slip of my mouse hand. So I figured, well I can just cancel that. But in their customer settings, there was NO option to cancel, and they stated they’ll begin charging for my premium service as soon as the trial runs out…which was in ten days! I went all over the web trying to find a way to cancel NOW, and finally learned that it would be best to just shut down my payment setup for Google (since they OWN Youtube). But that meant I’d also be canceling my Google Drive account, to which I’ve subscribed only four days back, to give me 100 GB backup storage! Because I was dissatisfied with Idrive’s cloud backup, and my trial arrangement with THEM will end later this year.

But, as it turned out, I got my problem resolved with Idrive just this morning…had to do with running some Linux scripts, in order to be able to use their web based GUI, instead of running their confusing series of scripts to get anything done. I COULD go back to Windoze (my laptop is dual boot BTW), where their service runs hassle free, but I’m fighting that all the way, as backup services are the ONLY businesses that try to force you to use Microslut’s operating system (for the most part). Well, all is copasetic now, as Idrive is backing up my data via Linux Mint 20 as I’m typing right now. And, therefore, I gladly kiss Google payments goodbye!

NOW GET THIS: Between the previous paragraph and this one, I stepped out to dispose of some bottles and cans on the back porch bin, when I heard some serious yelling out of Myrtle/Adis Haversak’s apartment! (You know, the mother and son duo who invited some teenagers to hang out in my hallway without wearing a mask, and disturbing the peace, and acting intimidating…as well as made a false accusation to the building manager that one of my pups bit Adis.) The screaming voice was that of a young man, though it didn’t sound like Adis, so I guess it’s one of his visitors. I’m not sure what the argument was about, as I didn’t stick around to eavesdrop.

I have a sneaking suspicion that my complaint about them to Ablahblah Realty and the manager, Kevin Bond, is having serious repercussions on their conscience. And that something else untoward is going on in that tiny studio unit, that has nothing to do with me, and started long before my conflict with them. I suspect that Ms. Haversak takes advantage of her petite build, as in “she’s so tiny and sweet looking, I could never imagine her being a nuisance!” So she probably gets away with a lot that others not so diminutive would not. At any rate, I DO hope that neither myself nor my doggies are further harassed, or even assaulted, as a result of their suspicious antics.

  • Zeke

Re: Flaco in Blissful Rest (and URGENT update)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 8:51 PM

My first thought was that it’s a tattoo marking him as “neutered.” I looked at the comments, and it seems to be so.

Yep, that’s what it is, thanks.

Agh! pesticide sounds awful! Newspaper (harder and harder to find these days), and lots of it. Maybe plastic bags on their paws!

Pesticide is just a word; some are indeed harmless to mammals. After all, salt may be considered a pesticide when it comes to slugs. I get a constant supply of free newspapers just across the street, the Bay Area Reporter mostly…which is cool, I think, because a former editor there hated me, so decided on censoring me forever, from publishing my letters. He’s since died, and I’m still here, yet the ban marches on. As for bags on my doggies’ little feet: I’m sure they will not go for that at all. I’d like to keep them out for LONGER than three hours, but where can I go? Coffeehouses are all shut down.

Not to mention all the exhausting preparation this requires before the exterminator’s arrival…than all the unpacking and rewashing afterwards. So it pretty much kills an entire week before the dust settles, and I can proceed with my OWN interests again. Fuck ’em. And now I have two lovely doggies on top of that, to worry about all this disruption, and potential poisoning (which I think WON’T occur, but it definitely IS a concern).

It’s good that you are no longer uppermost in their minds (a word I use advisedly in their case).

Oh they’re uppermost in my mind alright…how could they NOT be? They’re just down the hallway! I have a strong will, though, and a calm energy. Myrtle’s immediate reaction upon reading my letter to the landlord, was to accuse me of trying to get them evicted, which is blatantly NOT true. I was simply trying to put a HALT to possibly spreading covid-19, as well as their guests being loiterers and a nuisance. I’ve noticed that Adis is no longer bouncing that damned basketball late at night, as he walks the five blocks to Duboce Park. This was always around midnight, and all is quiet except for that idiotic ball being slammed repeatedly against the concrete, upon leaving and approaching our domiciles. But for the past week or so, no more of that pounding echo to grate my ears (and those of the pups, I should add), and I sure hope it stays that way.

Doesn’t he realize playing basketball is a stereotype for African Americans? I grow sickened whenever I hear about high schools providing late-night basketball for their black students. Why not other programs of an artistic or intellectual bent…or is that reserved only for Caucasians?

Anyway, let these despicable circumstances be but two examples of the ongoing bombardment of crises that we low income folks must put up with on a deplorably frequent basis. Once one issue gets resolved, there’s another that comes battering down my door! A big part of this is that many people go out of their way to harass and threaten those of us not enjoying an affluent lifestyle. And you’re a sitting duck when the manager of your own building plays this dark game, including (but not limited to) gossiping to other residents. A previous manager back in the 90s went around telling everyone what cheap rent I pay…which DID cause animosity by SOME of the newest inhabitants. And which also exacerbates my lifelong difficulty in forming new friendships, among OTHER unkind obstructions. I am a pariah in my own apartment complex! That is why I truly miss my neighbor Michael, who suddenly passed on after two-plus years living next door. He appreciated my eccentric style, and creative energies. As have several others who’ve lived here…but they are few and far between, and such a long time ago by now. At least ONE benefit comes of that, though:

At the outstanding age of 70, most folks by that time are constantly mourning one loss or another of a beloved friend or relative. But as for me, that is NOT the case. Hardy har har?

  • Zeke

ANOTHER EMERGENCY!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 10:10 PM

Lucky’s penis is stuck inside Flaco…I heard yelping, now I saw what was going on, so I’m having them stay still until he can remove it by himself. This is the advice from a veterinarian site…it will be stuck for a few minutes, maybe up to 20. I hope so, that is, that it gets unstuck. They say NOT to try to remove it yourself, as that could cause damage. I’m a nervous wreck!


EMERGENCY OVER, THANK ARTEMIS!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 10:36 PM

Now I’m wondering, should I be like some Puritan preacher and NOT allow them to have some sex fun? Or can I count on this stuck-wanger thing always resolving itself in a few minutes? Lucky is lying down like he’s shocked, like maybe Flaco caused him that pain. Or the other way around:

Flaco just growled at him, then sought my lap. Maybe Lucky feels bad for “hurting” her? Yet now Flaco is being most aggressive, growling AND wagging her tale…like she wants more of that! Now she’s barking at him, to play some more…just like Lucky’s been doing recently.

Anyway, things are better now. Whew!


Re: ANOTHER EMERGENCY!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 10:48 PM

That’s how it is with dogs!

And now I know. :p


Re: EMERGENCY OVER, THANK ARTEMIS!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 6, 2021 11:16 PM

Amazing that he can get that far as a “fixed” fella!

Yep. But it was quite a traumatic experience for both…hurt feelings all around! So group hugs and letting them know how much they are loved, and nobody’s at fault. When I saw they were stuck, it wasn’t until after they broke out in yelps and growls. Flaco tried to jump off the bed, but I got them to calm down, and they obeyed my “stay” commands, as I nervously wrote to you about this emergency. They remained very still, even though I didn’t have to hold them down, and tell them “stay” any more. Such good dogs, they listen to me very well!

Let me know if you decide to get Flaco fixed; I’d like to contribute.

The SPCA won’t resume such services until March 1st, at the earliest. I will keep on the alert for when they start neutering pets again. Finding a veterinarian outside of that, would be ridiculously pricey…if they even spay at all; they probably are only available for emergencies, too. There is an emergency dog service three blocks away, I should drop in and see what their rates are…will do that in a day or two. That would be great if I can have the operation done there, as I wouldn’t have to get on some clunky, crowded bus, or schlep sixteen or so blocks to the SPCA clinic, through a gauntlet of crazy vagrants and wicked alcoholics.

The room stinks of sex right now…egads, and I without smelling salts!

  • Zeke

Flaco in Blissful Rest, Again
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 7, 2021 5:42 PM

This is a daytime shot. Otherwise, identical to the nighttime one:

Now they’re relaxing on my cot, as if nothing untoward had just happened. When I held them down and told them to stay, they maintained their still pose without requiring a second command. They just looked quite chagrined, but well aware they need to obey me in this crisis. These are a couple of VERY smart pups!

I told you how Lucky pushes away the dish with his nose, when he’s not hungry any more. Well, a few days ago I left their dishes out on the floor, because they ate very little of their meals earlier. About an hour later (and I thought they were both on the bed), I heard some loud rustling of newspaper sheets, so I looked away from my desk to see Lucky shoving a bunch of papers against the dish, and moving it across the floor, attempting to tip it over!

So, even if I don’t put the meal up to his face (and if he’s not in the mood to eat) he’ll eventually resent any dog dish I leave unemptied, and start pushing it around. What’s interesting, also, is that he’ll never DIRECTLY touch the dish with his nose, but find something to put between himself and it…such as a blanket or some paper! I’ve watched him do this, numerous times: he’ll first look around as if to think: “Now, what can I use to push that dish away without touching it with my schnozzle?” He’ll figure it out, then proceed to shove the food around; and tip it over if I don’t remove it soon enough.

Looking SO forward to another loaf of Alvarado’s Sprouted Whole Grain Raisin Cinnamon Bread after a week of oatmeal, I marched down to Embolden Produce with the pooches this afternoon. Keep in mind that I DON’T like the Cambodian family that runs it (who vote Republican, I’m guessing), and I WAS looking forward to getting an equally excellent loaf (Ezekiel’s Sprouted Mult-Grain Cinnamon Raisin Bread) via Amazon Prime…relieved to realize this new service I subscribed to would eliminate my need to go to that brick and mortar health food store any more. Only to suddenly decide to cancel Amazon Prime last night, due to hidden fees that didn’t show up until I loaded the checkout page. So I bit the bullet, and went to Embolden, to get that raisin bread, along with another 2-pound jar of my favorite raw honey. Which equally excellent honey (though a different brand) I had ordered through Amazon (non-Prime), but which had failed to show up after the first attempt to deliver, and it’s now been a week and no more attempts. It’s like Kismet has so determined that I NEED to shop for some things at Embolden, whether I like to, or not!

So when I got there, I grabbed the honey off the shelf, three small bottles of St. Dalfour Blueberry Spread off another…then stepped up to the frozen section where those Alvarado Street loaves are kept. But it turns out they have none today! I told the male Cambodian cashier this is the first time I’ve come here in all these many years, and they didn’t have my favorite bread. He asked what brand, so I told him, and he stepped out to the bread section and pointed out aNOTHER brand of raisin bread. (And here, I thought he was going to double check to see if MY bread were really out of stock.)

I waved my hand dismissively and spoke: “But that’s WHITE bread, which is very unhealthy. Alvarado’s is made of sprouted whole wheat. Besides, whole grain bread is tasty, but white bread is not…tastes more like cardboard than anything else! So, thanks but no thanks!”

He just shrugged his shoulders and returned to the register. I SHOULD have then said: “For someone who runs a health food store, you sure know very little about healthy food!”

But I bit my tongue instead, and finally departed with brindlekin in tow.

  • Zeke

Re: Flaco in Blissful Rest, Again
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 7, 2021 05:33 PM

Whew. Storm has passed, for now.

I’ll see that it won’t happen any more, because that was a trauma for BOTH of them. They’re acting up again right now, and whenever Lucky assumes the mounting position, I just gently pull him away and say, “No, no, none of that!” He gets me immediately, and steps back without any further coercion. Then they have their sex play in all other ways, except that one. They seem perfectly fine with that…and happy. I just can’t leave them alone while she’s in heat, even for just a few minutes. Because if they’re on the cot, and get stuck again, Flaco will jump off the bed and cause mutual injury. All is fine now, there will NOT be another storm of that sort.

Anyway, I like that Flaco is more aggressive when in estrus, in that she growls and woofs at Lucky, instigating a robust bout of play-fighting, which is usually her brother’s role. I think she’s a dyke anyway, as she often mounts her brother in their play, and lifts her leg when she pees, half the time. (Flaco also has an interesting way of taking a dump on the side of a slanted tree…as she pushes her butt right up against it, and leaves a neat package clinging to the bark, like a stinky fungus! (Do human dykes do that too? I think I’d rather not know.) Lucky loves her sex smell, and goes crazy-silly after a sniff or two, squirming on his back, yapping and making funny, quack noises. So they both seem joyful enough, in spite of my Protestant intervention. And that’s how things will go from this day hence, whenever the “heat” is on.

Oh, man, I love Alvarado St. bread. That whole grain raisin cinnamon sounds DIVINE. A perfect breakfast treat. I’ll have to see if either of the health food stores up here have it.

They know how to bake whole grain breads and pastries like magic…and all wholesome ingredients! You will LOVE their raisin bread. I smear globs of whipped cream cheese over it, then a dollop of St. Dalfour blueberry spread to sweeten the pot. It’s GREAT with just butter, too, or a healthy margarine. I also HIGHLY recommend their 100 percent rye bread. I don’t normally like rye, but theirs is amazing! I used to have it toasted with just some butter: DIVINE! Makes an awesome sandwich bread, as well.

Gee, when my Brindlekin Tales finally take the world by storm, all the products I mention therein are gonna have a whopping BOOST in sales! And imagine coffeehouses selling their new “Zeke’s Almost-Latte” beverage…based on exactly as I described in one of my chapters: 80 percent black coffee, 20 percent non-organic 2 percent milk, two packets of Sweet N’ Low, and a teaspoon-and-a-half of raw honey. Of course, to be authentic, they’ll have to use the same brand of beans they brew at Rosenberg’s (which is from Peet’s Coffee kind of across the street but not really), the same brand of milk (Berkeley Farms), and the same brand of honey (Wild Mountain).

Likewise your OWN publications will get quite a boon from my miraculous success, as you are mentioned so MUCH in those tales, including multiple references to “Twilight in Somalia”..and even the book cover is glimpsed in my video called “This is My Room, God Help Me.” Hmm, now it occurs to me to mention your OTHER brilliant, thought provoking works, too, somewhere in the remaining chapters…and I will do just that. In fact, I’ll do it right here:

http://tinyurl.com/wattson-books

That’s it for now, Dr. Wattson! I bid you adieu, and a most glorious night of sweet dreaming.

  • Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes

Re: EMERGENCY OVER, THANK ARTEMIS!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 7, 2021 07:52 PM

Sex is very confusing. For every living creature, IMO…nature pre-installs wiring in us, and any time it feels like it, takes over our beings and systems entirely. Poor doggies’ little innocent sibling friendship imposed upon by this overwhelming, painful drive.

Well, they now have a superb guardian in me, whose love is stronger than even this drive. They obey me in every way, because I have never fucked with their heads, and always been nothing but kind. Their trust has become absolute, as a result. And to think it was my difficult relationship with Deek over the years, that has led to all this wonder! No, he’s not a meth freak, nor even homeless…he’s a guardian angel, PLAYING that role, for the sake of creating adventures and challenges in my life, and these Brindlekin Tales.

I know. Barbarians, all of them. No different from ignorant superstitious medieval peasants, except that they have the internet, guns and cars.

Not ALL are like that, but way too many, such that it makes it nigh impossible to ferret out the decent ones, and develop friendships. This dire scenario for our species will NOT go on much longer. I know I sound a bit like a biblical patriarch, but that is not my intent. I just have this wisdom. Wisdom that will soon explode across the world, like the release of a billion-zillion-quadrillion dandelion puffs released all at once. And THAT, my dear Wattson, is nothing to sneeze at!

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius…achoo!

  • Zeke

Re: Resolution regarding my complaint to the landlord
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Carlyle Lambourne
Date: February 7, 2021 9:34 PM

Deeper sigh.. yes, this guy doesn’t sound like a good friend or good owner for the dogs.

Regards, Carlyle

Exactly. I’d be handing them over to live a miserable, short, painful life, then die. I saved their lives, and, in a very real way, they’ve saved mine. And extraordinary changes are now occurring in my life, because of this…which led to my penning “Brindlekin Tales,” still a story in progress.


Subject: Youtube Comments Have Started!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 8, 2021 1:31 PM

Thus begins the expansion of my presence to the world at large. Check out the comment by Dave, here, which I think you’ll enjoy immensely (and my response):

My Contract with Deek
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7naN0Ok0MA

Also: I’ve expounded a bit more on my piece, “Mendocino County’s Own ‘I Hate Zeke’ Fan Club.” Total text is just three paragraphs (originally just one paragraph: the first), so it’s a quick read. Has to do with Marshall McGee, your local radio host celebrity, who’s narrated MANY of my stories in the recent past on his weekly show, “Memo of the Weird.”

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2021/02/07/mendocino-countys-own-i-hate-zeke-fan-club/


Re: Youtube Comments Have Started!
From Zeke Krahlin
To My Dear Wattson
Date: February 8, 2021 9:03 PM

Dave is GREAT!! And so are your replies! Who says cyber-communication isn’t “authentic?”

That’s how WE met, and how Carlyle (my Boston gay activist ally) and I met. Most excellent two friends I have ever known. I look forward to a growing number of visitors to my channel…it should be a hoot!

UPDATES:

Very easy, as it turns out, to keep Lucky from copulating. Just a couple of “ah-ah’s” and he backs off. Even ONE little “ah” now does the trick. Now, whenever Flaco presents her rear, or slinks against him like a cat, her brother usually clamps onto her tail or leg and yanks on it to start a robust bout of play-fighting…in lieu of mounting. So he’s adapting, as if he understands my admonition, and is now helping Flaco to adjust. These pups are smart as a whip! But funny enough, now FLACO is mounting HIM, instead! Told you she’s a dyke.

Since I concluded it’s a bad idea (when she’s in estrus) to leave them together whenever I step out for more than a minute or two, yesterday I took Flaco with me to purchase my morning java. Upon returning, there was Lucky, waiting patiently. He did NOT utter a single bark, yelp, whine or chortle while alone in my hovel. So this morning, I did the reverse and took Lucky with me, to Rosenberg’s around the corner. And Flaco, likewise, remained calm and silent while awaiting our return.

Bedbug exterminator dropped by, to establish I need another treatment. He’s usually chipper, but seemed under the weather today. I imagine getting rid of these nasty bugs is a thankless task, what with all the trauma it causes residents, especially those on a low income or occupying a single room (like me). So I warned him about the doggies, they’ll probably bark up a storm, ’cause he’s a stranger entering my room. When I opened the door there they were, snoozing away on a pile of comforters one moment, then barking at him the next. They quieted down a bit when I leashed them, and took them into the hallway, so the fellow could do his job. He was very charmed by them, you’ll be glad to know.

Anyway, I asked him if I need to know anything extra about bringing the dogs back inside, after treatment. He said no, same as for humans. That’s a relief! I’ll still lay down newspaper, though, and thoroughly wipe down several times, the self-inflating padding I use atop the cot, along with the likewise-inflatable pillow. Because they LOVE to lick on them like nobody’s business, probably because the heavy gauge nylon covering on both, is a texture that pleases their tongues.

Later, after the exterminator departed, I decided to look up the company, which website was painted on his truck. Turns out there’s a section there to rate them. So I gave a full five star review, saying that our exterminator is a godsend…both congenial and efficient at his work. I included his full name, in hopes that will get back to him, and make his day.

The brindlekin have resumed their eating, though not as robustly as before…they ARE finicky, it seems. Maybe it’s because they really need a safe place to get some REAL exercise, but I’ll be damned if I know where one is! If only I had access to some nice person’s fenced-in backyard! I also noticed that Lucky first watches Flaco to see if she starts to dine. And when she does, only THEN will he partake of his own bowl! But if she does not, he abstains as well. He always thinks of her first. A new treat I just discovered (again from Jeffrey’s pet food shop) that they go wild over is called “Treatohs” (rhymes with Cheetohs). That would be a good way to keep their appetites up, by mixing it in with their food. So I’ll pick some up tomorrow.

Something funny happened two nights ago, as I proceeded to exit my building with both pooches in tow. All was quiet, as it was around 11 PM, but as we got to the gate, three people were about to enter, and the doggies suddenly exploded in wild barks, looking like hounds from hell! There were two young men and a woman, and one of the guys jumped back, startled, then started cracking up when he saw how cute they are. He then opened the gate for me and, while the ferocious barks continued, I boomed in a loud voice:

“THESE ARE THE GUARDIANS OF THE GATE!”

Then I thanked them as I quickly departed; they said no problem, and were still chuckling about the faux-vicious canine encounter. I think the fact that any person or dog at the front gate will arouse their territorial instinct…and, unfortunately, it’s so BUSY right around that part of the sidewalk. There’s almost always a commotion going on there during the daytime, and I’d rather have a quiet exit from the building, than all this drama. Anyway, that’s it for now, Wattson!

  • Zeke

PS: It is a genuine PLEASURE sleeping with the pups at night. Their little sighs of joy, leg-twitching as they dream, readjusting their position from time to time, usually to get closer to me with a solid “thump” right when they drop upon my leg or arm or torso…and a sigh of happiness once settled down again. One of them snuggled in my arms, while the other has their head resting upon my knee, or calf, or foot. And such cheerful mornings! Flaco always arises first, while Lucky prefers more snooze time until I finally break out the leashes.


Re: Youtube Comments Have Started!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 8, 2021 9:32 PM

ADDENDUM:

I haven’t watched, read, or listened to the news in weeks, I am that focused on my writing…which results are paying off handsomely! Furthermore, I consider my stories so much more important than anything else going on in the world at this time…in light of all the GOOD it shall accomplished for many millions of people across the globe. Perhaps even BILLIONS…dare I dream so large? Dare I do!

My prophetically infused writing skills are astounding on a most profound level. Even SCARY in some ways, sort of monstrously DARK, because it’s just…IMPOSSIBLE! Yet here we are, here I am, and it’s happening! So fasten your seat belt, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. But oh what fun WE shall have, who steer the wheel! To a destiny far greater than anyone can imagine, including our own gifted selves.

  • Zeke

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