It’s the Restrooms, Stupid!

April 30, 2016

The “no-trannies-in-the-john” debacle is spreading across Europe now. This article’s out of England:

Lesbian Teen Kicked Out of McDonalds for Using Wrong Bathroom, Failing to Prove Gender

Nonetheless it inspired me to compose the following piece about the same thing going on in our nation:

One woman’s FB comment to a butch lesbian not being allowed to enter a woman’s restroom: “So what’ll happen when a feminine looking gay tries to enter a men’s bathroom.” To which I responded: “What makes you think this sexist bigotry will limit itself to gay men and women?”

It’s a 2-pronged prejudice sweeping across Amerika: anti-female and anti-LGBT. Bathroom locales are now the official bashing stations for every macho hero to invade. San Francisco and other gay friendly blue-state cities will not be immune to this bigotry. This will, of course, spread out from the restrooms to every aspect of our society.

Unless women dress and act ultra-feminine, they will become targets. And unless men dress and act ultra-masculine, they, too, will become targets. Male sounding names like “Sloane” and “Bobbie” will label a woman as “suspect”. And non-butch names like “Eugene” and “Marvin” will put some men on the danger list.

These will number among the New Commandments of the Virtual Republic of Gilead (which will be these entire United States, whether blue or red):

– Men shall not wear glasses, carry a book or umbrella; they shall not wear bright colors or allow their hair to grow below the ear lobe.

– Women shall not wear pants or shoes that are not high heeled, nor shall they pursue any occupation that is clearly intended for the male of the species.

– Men shall only speak in a deep, bass or baritone voice; women shall only speak in a shrill soprano or mezzo-soprano voice. (Any male who understands these musical terms shall be summarily executed.)

– Men shall either appear in public with a female partner, or accompanied by no one; vice-versa for the female.

– No one without an authentic birth certificate matching their gender shall be permitted to use a public or business restroom, unless they reveal their genitals to a security guard or other designated employee, or an officer of the law (and said genitals pass the grade).

– A fully mature gerbil shall be forced up the anus of each suspect. If the gerbil refuses to exit of its own free will, suspect shall be charged with homosexual urges and punished accordingly.

The list goes on, ad absurdum. I imagine there will be “speakeasy” lavatories that one can use for a steep fee. Citizens will be financially rewarded for reporting suspected abuse of a restroom. And there will be gov’t sanctioned, animated billboards to encourage bashing, such as:

One that depicts a classically wimpy type dropping to his knees in an attempt to give some uber macho dude a blow job. The dude will, of course, spit on the “faggot” (who bears an eerie resemblance to Harvey Milk) and kick him into a bloody mess. The animation will repeat itself in an endless loop, caption in gaudy neon: “Do not fear the preying queer.”

Then we’ll have another billboard for the fairer sex, depicting a dykish looking female (clipped hair, sneakers, Levi pants) suddenly being raped by that same uber macho dude. And the caption will declare: “YOU wear the pants, not the Billy Nance.”

There will be flyers, postage stamps, decals, TV ads, airplane and blimp banners and Internet pop-ups of that nature, proliferating the national landscape. And, of course, TV series like the one I depicted in my tale, “Queer Reality TV.”

As increasing numbers of heterosexuals get sucked into this pogrom, there will rise a great resistance composed of women’s rights and LGBT rights activists and their supporters. A little further down the line, African Americans will join in. The tables will turn, and once the dust settles, all restrooms will be unisex, with locks on every door.

Oh why can’t Amerikans make such cultural changes with ease, as the Europeans do? No, we have to be super drama queens around every little issue.

And every little tissue.


FB Censorship

April 10, 2016

Facebook just censored one of my posts today. Perhaps it was my “death to gays” phrase taken out of context. But this explains why I’ve had to frequently pass through FB’s security test these past few weeks…sometimes as often as several times per hour, even two or three comments in a row. A new window pops up, asking you to click on every image that looks like a tiger (for example)…nine images total to choose from. Once you’ve selected all the correct images, your message will then be posted. THEY’RE WATCHING ME! Is this homophobia? Has some nasty person been reporting me, as a form of harassment? Or is it more sinister, such as NSA intrusion? Anywyaz, the comment they censored (which you can see in captured image form below) refers to my criticism of the moderate, gay friendly churches’ lack of truly pro-active confrontation against the homophobic churches. Now that I’ve posted it again (albeit in image format), let’s see what happens next. Maybe they’ll take /that/ message down, too…and ban me from their service. If such an event does happen, anyone can reach me via this email form: http://gay-bible.org/gaymail.htm


ADDENDUM

Reference: Beware the Social Media Brown Shirts


Bernie & the Bird

April 8, 2016

Huffington Post had fun with it (click on image to see more silly pics):

Coincidence or prophecy? I came up with this parody of the Twitter hashtag #FeelTheBern about a week before Senator Sanders “got the bird”:

Wow, Bernie’s invited to speak at the Vatican. It may not be kosher, but I’m impressed!

Wasn’t the Pope also a victim of “fowl” play in recent times?

If only Alfred Hitchcock were still alive, I’m sure he’d have something to say about this.


Beware the Social Media Brown Shirts

March 21, 2016

In the past two months I have been experiencing increased threats and intimidation by homophobic lurkers on Facebook and Twitter. Here’s what I think is going on re. certain stalkers on Facebook who seem to be increasing in number:

Due to the rise in homophobia (and these kind emboldened, thanks to right-wing dogma), LGBT’s are being tracked down, then intimidated to the point where they shut down their account. Some may go further and find out where they live, and attack them. They also get the names and info of their online “friends,” before their target catches on. They portray themselves as very nice people at first, in order to be “friended.”

But they will soon act sexually aggressive in an attempt to dupe you into giving out personal information, such as address and phone number. Otherwise they will /not/ act homophobic (usually). They may also use one or more other personas who “friend” you, but appear harmless and on your side, never aggressive or threatening. That is so when the main persona gets “unfriended,” one or more “friendly” versions remain connected with your account. So that if one switches from “public” to “friends only,” the culprit remains an active observer, if not participant.

I’m sure these brown shirts are also fanning out to other social media such as Twitter, Tumblr and Snapchat. Those were just examples of where they infiltrate; I’m also sure they’ll target web sites, forums, and other sites where LGBT’s congregate…especially news outlets with a large base of comment participants. They will also target their allies who are connected with them in one way or another. This will cause an increasing number of folks following you to unfollow. And that’s part of their plan: to terrorize and isolate their victims. And have you shut down /all/ the services you use, including web sites…so that pro-LGBT presence on the web will diminish, and possibly disappear entirely. I may soon have to do that, myself.

They’ll find out where you live, where you work, where you travel, and with whom you associate…all from the convenience of their keyboard. And they are growing ever more organized. Due to the nebulous nature of cyberspace, your attacker may not occupy a distant land or region, he may even reside in your own city. Or neighborhood. Or apartment building! But even if they do live a great distance from you, they can easily acquire cohorts much closer, and in record time.

In their initial salvos many LGBT’s will report harassment by this or that individual, never imagining the force behind their attacker: that many other bullies are doing the same. Meanwhile these creeps are gathering personal data about their victims’ friends and coworkers…while their extended marks remain clueless until it’s too late.

If you suspect one has recently “friended” you, check their Facebook account. Usually it will be very scant, not even a photo. But if there are pictures, they will be copies from elsewhere (people they don’t even know), in order to trick you into complacency. Sometimes they will post to their wall semi-scary comments or images that denigrate women, gays or whomever. But not necessarily. Once suspected and reported, they will most likely shut down that account and create a new one, also pseudonymous.

And if you think you’re safe because you only let “friends” subscribe, watch out! For your “friends” might not be as vigilant as yourself, and unknowingly allow enemies to leak through. They will study what you post, and gather increasing information about your personal doings and whereabouts. Even reporting a suspect may be fruitless, as these brown shirts have already infiltrated the upper tiers of many online services. Don’t think that such “progressive” services like Facebook, Google and Twitter do not have at least a handful of Christian zealots in their rank.

While queers will be their first scapegoats, rest assure that progressives, abortion advocates, people of color, immigrants and anti-Republicans are on their list, too. Take my warning seriously: this is just the beginning of a mass attack a la information wars. Muslim fanatics will soon join in.


Golden Delicious Zach

February 10, 2016

!!! WARNING. ADULT MATERIAL !!!

If you are underage, or in any way forbidden by your government or religious laws from viewing X-rated subject matter, please do not go there. If, however, you are not restricted by any laws in your geographical location, by all means click on the image above, to read my salty tale.


Halal-la-la-la, Halal-la-la!

January 26, 2016

Dear editor (of each of the four San Francisco gay newspapers who received this letter),

I intend to be inside the secured area of Superbowl 50, not because I have any love for sports (which I don’t, especially not football), but because my favorite wifi coffeehouse is located there. Will blog about it if anything interesting occurs.

I, for one, think that all shops in the vicinity should hang a “halal” sign in the most prominent spot of the storefront…and that all females present be adorned in burkas. Plus, all males should wear a false, full beard that reaches at least down to the sternum; and a raggedy old turban. And there should be no species of the canine persuasion visible anywhere…or at least have them clothed in baby camel outfits. Just to play it safe.

Hey, my favorite “coffeehouse” is actually a bagel shop…which may be perceived as a Jewish sanctuary by these terrorists. Even though the workers are Chinese, Phillipino and El Salvadorean. Who knows? Maybe they’re all devotees of Muhamet (pbuh).

I can see it now: the leader in command gestures at The Posh Bagel with a fully loaded Kalishnakov semi-automatic, where I sit by the window, pecking away on my refurbished Lenovo x60s as I type my latest witticism on Eleanor’s Facebook page. And says to his right-hand lackey and bumfuk slave boy:

“See that, Yusef? An Israeli outpost! We must attack it right off. Allah be praised.”

“Wait-a-minute, Ahmad,” the thermite-vest-laden arse-tonguing Shiite/shite sycophant tugs his master’s glistening robe that clings to all parts nether (leaving nothing to the western imperialist cur’s imagination, woven as it is from virgin Guangxi Province recycled Walmart plastic bubble wrap) and pleads:

“I’m starving. Maybe they serve halal.”

The commander then wavers in salivary muse, lowers his rifle and mutters some obscure suras from the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of the Quran while stroking his alpha-length beard (thus disturbing the dozen or so scarabs burrowed therein; they take wing and flee in all directions).

“You’re right, Yusef, let’s go check it out, I have the mother of all stomach grumblies.”

Sincerely yours,

Zeke Krahlin a.k.a. “Jehovah’s Queer Witness”
http://www.gay-bible.org


Red Light / Green Light

January 5, 2016

!!! WARNING. ADULT MATERIAL !!!

If you are underage, or in any way forbidden by your government or religious laws from viewing X-rated subject matter, please do not go there. If, however, you are not restricted by any laws in your geographical location, by all means click on the image above, to read my salty tale.


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