I’m Begging You

Note Sweet Reader: Keith who used to live in my building for a year or two, but who moved out later, due to the “edginess” of 2306 Market (and the intolerable noise pollution on Market Street), paid me a surprise visit recently, with a little gift contained in a tiny tin for medicinal marijuana. After he left, I opened it to discover a bunch of dollar bills.

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: Keith, my mind is blown!
Date: Friday, July 20, 1:10pm

Of course, I thought it was just a few dollars, maybe 5 or 10, but I was shocked (in a most delightful way) to discover a total of $78!

Thank you SO much for putting your faith in me…I am greatly touched by your generous donation. And I assure you: it will all go to the right places, that will help give the Castro a boost in a most positive direction. Here’s how I’ll divvy up the funds:

$20 will go to Pow, the gay-themed street musician. He is an /excellent/ soul.

$20 will go to Peace, who watches over the homeless youth that sleep by Holy Redeemer Church.

$15 will go to yours truly, so I can afford a couple more meals at Howard’s Cafe. The folks there are /so/ nice, it has become my major hangout whenever I need to destress from my street counseling. My income has been so badly stretched, I can no longer eat at Howard’s twice per week…more like three times a month. So this boon is a great blessing for my sanity.

Still $23 remaining; what to do? Howz about I invite both you /and/ Austin (or just yourself, if that’s what you’d prefer) to Howard’s some day soon? You’ll fall in love with the place, as I have. Have you read my blog entry “Howard’s Cafe” yet? If not, here ’tis:


Printer ink can wait…more important things to spend this money on, my excellent friend.

You have no idea the good karma you’ve just injected into my day, Keith. Only two hours earlier, there was screaming and loud thumps and door slamming across the hallway, in Apt. 211. So I called 911.

Seems to be a case of gay-on-gay bashing. The resident did /not/ want to file a report, darn it. As far as I know, this has happened at least once before, about three months ago. I was walking to the bathroom, when suddenly a loud thump startled me. It came right from the wall only inches from me, just before I entered the restroom. Then screaming, and more thumps. I quickly locked myself in the restroom, took a shower, and was rather afraid to step back out.

Called Mgr. Jim today, to tell him what just occurred. Told him I’m worried that the 211 resident may not appreciate that I phoned 911. He said, “No worries, he wouldn’t do that. Thanks for keeping the building safe.”

Jim was not in the building at the time. But I wonder if he isn’t just jiving me. I certainly /remain/ concerned for my safety. How ridiculous: I’m pushed out of the Castro due to a recent violent threat, now I’m squeezed from the other direction.

But the three cops were wonderful; I gave them my card w/my blog URL…that they may be better informed about the goings on among the homeless who hang out at HM Plaza. I’d like Peace to run the street patrol, which I will name “The Blue Rose.”

Again, thank you SO much, Keith. FYI: I don’t love anyone because of money, but I love you for putting such solid faith in my/our cause. Guess what? It just occurred to me:

You may be looking at this district’s next supervisor: me!

So is it a date for Howard’s soon? Best time to go is between 9-10am, ’cause the most interesting people show up then. Maybe this Saturday?

You put me on Cloud 9,

– Zeke

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: Please, Keith…
Date: Friday, July 20, 1:17pm

strike up a friendship with Peace and Pow. Once you see their photos in my blog entry “Rockin’ at the Plaza,” you’ll know who they are. Two most /excellent/ street denizens whom I know you will adore. Pow has a boyfriend named Nathan; also a most excellent soul. Tell them Zeke sent you…and just watch how they smile!

Your faith in me, is returned. Goddess speed! (Or Spaghetti Monster.) 0_o

To: Zeke Krahlin
From: Keith V.
Subject: Re: Besides KGO
Date: Friday, July 20, 1:50pm

HA! I remember all that craziness from our two years in the Crystal Palace. I was so naive before living there! I loved it, though – it’s a magical place really. I wasn’t too keen on all the drug cooking going on, and sometimes the ‘friends’ of certain residents made things feel a little scary and dangerous, but even those cracked out guys usually seemed nice (just crazy and a bit dangerous!).

Once we were booted out of our apt. for an entire day while the exterminators sprayed all of our belongings with CO2 and various chemical poisons from the imperial oil manufacturers to kill bedbugs, and I sat in the hallway for hours talking to some of the old guys who’d been in the building since the late 70s and early 80s, who’d seen all the comings and goings, all the death in the neighborhood after the First Holocaust of the 33 Year (and counting) Oil War. (When will the second round drop? There’s a whole new batch of queer youth to kill off).

I still have a book of Renaissance literature that the old gentleman named Keith gave me. I really liked him. Every time we’d place stuff out in the ‘lost and found’ (the cabinets in the 3rd floor interior stairway landing) he’d come poking around. I heard he’s left his body behind.

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: Re: Besides KGO
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:05pm

Sorry to say, Keith, but that Keith (Betza) was the reason I couldn’t befriend you and roommate/friend Austin. He had a very dark side, which included his badmouthing me in order to scare new (and old) residents from me.

We were friends, once. He had many incredible stories about his time in NYC as a cat burglar, and fringe association with many up-and-coming artists in that area, including Andy Warhol.

But he intentionally denied telling his fantastic true tales to yours truly, simply because he knew it would frustrate me. Write it off to Alzheimer’s, I guess.

Your new-found friend,


To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: I’m sure you’ve been told this many times before…
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:33pm

…but I will add myself to the list:

You are a very HOT and beautiful man!

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: Please…
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:33pm

…say you’ll come with me this Saturday, to Howard’s Cafe. We can take the N Judah from Duboce Park around 9am. Bring Austin if you’d like; I can afford you both.

I’m begging you!

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: I’m begging you…
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:39pm

…with tongue hanging out, panting!

Just so you know. I’ll leave you alone now, ‘ cause I know what a pest I can be, towards glorious men like you.

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: 415-863-3790
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:41pm

Just to make sure you have my number. I’m such a sucker for beautiful men, I should duck my head in a barrel of freezing water, to get over it. Or you.

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: I’ll accept platonic…
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:44pm

…if that’s how you swing. I’m the King of Bromance, if nothing.

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: Just so you know…
Date: Friday, July 20, 2:51pm

…I have frequent erectile dysfunction, due to arthritis in my right hip, which mild pain travels down to my right testicle, and thwarts a hard-on. It will take a very /special/ man to give me a super erection, in spite of this malady.

Ha, ha, I bet you’re blushing right now.

If not…please forgive my brazen proposition.

To: Keith V.
From: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: Just so you know…
Date: Friday, July 27, 2:25Am

On 7/27/12, Keith V. wrote:
> LI(b)tL;LUW
> :…
> 3->

Okay, Keith, I consider myself pretty savvy regarding Internet stuff, including emoticons. My weak point is, however, texting abbreviations. I cannot for the life of me, figure out line 1, except perhaps that LUW stands for “love you with”. None of the texting dictionaries have proven helpful, and I’m growing exhausted by the search.

Lines 2 and 3, though, I’m sure are emoticons for the male gender apparatus (so to speak). The first one, a side view, the second, a top view (or perhaps bottom, heh heh).

Or maybe I just have a dirty mind. You’d never suspect, by my writing. 0_o

Wait. It has to be bottom, or you couldn’t see the…oh, never mind, it’s just a silly emoticon. Yet, it seems to possess a life of its own, just like my johnson. Which (I might add) seems rather excited at the moment. Oh, the power of texting! Is there an emoticon for “lube”? Perhaps this:


Shame on me.


2 Responses to I’m Begging You

  1. johnofphilly says:

    I really like Carl’s picture of 2306.
    I’m going to e-mail you an overhead shot at the roof and one from the 16th Street angle.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: