Christmas night 2013 I typed and mailed the following letter to City Lights, a bookstore famous for featuring Allen Ginsberg’s seminal poem “Howl.” Which stanzas, you may remember, instigated much legal chaos and triggered both the Beat Era and the birth of the Free Speech Movement. (Some poem, eh?) Allen was 100% homosexual, FYI.
It is my dream to have my own novel featured on the same shelf as “Howl and Other Poems.” But more than that: I want my uber-queer opus to trigger the next social revolution…that yours truly become the progenitor of a second (and more powerful, captivating and irresistible) cultural revolution on behalf of civil rights. Starting with gay rights, of course. Then everyone else. Except for unrepentant homophobes…but that goes w/o saying, My Feathered Little Raptosaurus Chickadees.
December 26, 2013
Dear City Lights,
I hope you will find my novel worthy of your shelves. It is titled: “Free Me From This Bond (a real life gay fairytale of divine proportion).” Just come out only three weeks ago via Friesen Press (subsidiary of Ingram Books). It is already available locally at Bound Together on Haight Street, the first bookstore I approached. City Lights is the second, though I will reach out to many more over the next few weeks. My book is already available (hardcover, paperback and ebook) at thousands of online sellers including Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Chapters, Google Books/Play, Apple Ibooks and Kobo (just to name a smattering).
Description and Data:
Based on true events embellished with many Walter-Mitty type flights of fancy, it is mystical, hilarious and frightening all at once. (As to “mystical,” I mean a fusion of pagan and Christian morality reminiscent of C.S. Lewis…with a twist of O’Henry.) What sets this book apart from most other GLBT tales, is that it is neither a heated love story to titillate one’s sexual yearnings, nor a tiresome imbroglio of middle class queers enmeshed in soap-operish drama. Better yet: no AIDS tears!
This novel is a linked series of true tales anchored by two heroes in the author’s own life, thus biographical in nature. It is a love story about the downtrodden and homeless, the neglected and abused within the homophile community. It is also a mystery/bromance novel about a gay activist from San Francisco who falls in love with a detective out of San Diego. (Or so the activist concludes his love object to be a gumshoe, though remains in question to the very end.) Much intrigue, danger and hilarity ensues.
Due to a scattering of erotic (albeit satirical) passages throughout the novel, this book is definitely for adults. Graced with exquisite illustrations (one for each of 16 chapters) by struggling artist S. Rohan.
Title: Free Me From This Bond
Author: Ezekiel J. Krahlin
Hardcover (ISBN: 978-1-4602-1720-7)
Ingram (distributor): $19.99
Paperback (ISBN: 978-1-4602-1721-4)
Ingram (distributor): $10.99
Thank you for your interest,
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
Now, I used a simple, crisp envelope, like so:
The back is embellished with a Pegasus and dragon sticker, former mounting the latter. I figure this will be an eye catcher and a chuckle generator…always a good idea to make your mail stand out from the competition:
Stapling my business card to the letter is also a nice touch; dresses up the whole page. Which page (I might add) is but one, with the entire letter constrained to side one. I’m sure whoever reads it will appreciate the brevity:
And finally, I enclosed a “Free Me From This Bond” postcard provided by Friesen as part of my promotional package. That way, City Lights will see that heavenly book cover right off the bat.
So whaddya think, Exalted Reader? Will the fish gobble the bait? Will City Lights’ Keeper of the Books feverishly tear open the envelope and drink the entire contents in one mesmerized gulp? Will the winged humping horse make pregnant the fire-breathing dragon of my inspiration? (Will I win the Bulwer-Lytton Award in 2014?)
Anywayz, around 9 PM I stepped out to mail this missive destined to become the scattershot heard ’round the world. Before dropping it into the corner mailbox I looked about the bleak cold streets, normally overrun with fuming vehicles clattering like animatronic bats in hell. Tonight though, it was silent. As will be New Year’s Day. A straggling lunatic clucking like a chicken walked by, swinging an open bottle of cheap tequila. Can’t get away from these fukkups no matter where I go, not even Christmas!
So I drew back and stepped around the corner to make myself invisible, still with letter in hand. Once he slowly vanished down Market (took him quite a while, as he often paused to look around for an unwary victim filled with the holy spirit), I returned to the mailbox. Kissed the Pegasus/dragon seal and dropped it into the big, blue container that recently housed countless prayers to Santa. (Mine was, obviously, last-minute.)
Martin Luther King had a dream. I have a vision. Actually, many visions (due to my schizophrenic blessing straight from the angels…and a demon or two). Among them (and the latest):