J’accuse

Eleanor Cooney, you are accused of being a secret member of Andromedans who plan to assign me absolute authority over planet earth! You dropped a hint in your last message, indicating it’s time for me to declare such an absurdly wonderful conclusion. Which was:

It’s as if you’re channeling a parallel dream-world, which is striving to become the real world! The more detailed your vision, the more you create a portal for that dream world to find its way into this world and become as real as the rocks and trees.

This transcends even Vonnegut’s concept of a “kerass,” though it was a nice try, Ellie! (I wonder though: why the word “ass” in this label…I dare not dwell on the implication; rhymes with “her ass.”) This vision I had two days ago of Larkin commanding a massive fleet of star ships from the Andromeda galaxy led to astounding revelations that imply a utopian destiny not just for myself, but for everyone else who inhabits this puny little (but most beatific) globe:

Obviously, I am an agent for these Andromedans, probably born of a Petri dish with Larkin as my one-and-only sire. Even though in this life I am 12 years older than My Wily Wyvern…inconsequential in the ultimate scheme of things. And many agents from Andromeda watch over me, that I may grow into this role as Moon Child Provocateur a la “Space Odyssey: 2001.” As a star child, I will protect and guide this sweet orb…but I will also project my ego self onto the earth (a.k.a. “Zeke”), that I may enjoy the bounty and delight along with all other human beings.

You, My Dear Eleanor, are one such guardian from this neighboring galaxy. Who imposed her presence in my life way back when you complimented me so kindly over my essay “Gay Marriage by Any Other Name” on Alternet.org. What year was that, I can hardly recall: 2006?

This Great Destiny for planet earth is the same for all other planets whose civilization has evolved to the point of scientific advancements that will soon lead to interstellar travel. Some revered thinkers, such as Carl Malden…wait, I mean “Carl Sagan”…have defined our human condition as a profoundly lonely one, relative to the vast ocean of stars. How dare he (and his ilk) portray our home orb as but a tiny speck of dust in an infinite void w/o any hope of salvation and a glorious eternity for all its inhabitants?

I guess it’s important to consider atheist and hostile interpretations of universal outcomes, for the sake of expanding one’s awareness…but gimme a break! Such nihilistic viewpoints do /not/ serve the purpose of Divine Revelation in the long run! What a horrible way to perceive our lives as existing in a hostile universe with no real hope of expanding beyond this, into an eternal promise of Goddess’s love to every sentient being?

While it seems obvious that no civilization can embark beyond its home planet w/o first becoming totally homosexualized (that uncontrolled and rampant breeding would never overrun and destroy the galaxies)…it is a gross disservice toward young minds to portray a heartless void, a universe that has absolutely /no/ regard for every single life that is born into this cosmos. Utter hogwash!

The Andromedan Angels have been guiding and protecting this planet for eons. Not one single civilization will ever end up destroying its planet into nonexistence. Instead, each will reach a point of extreme potential self-extermination, at which moment the Andromedans will reveal themselves and step in to right all these many wrongs. Some wrongs of which may seem impossible to surmount…though the Andromedans have our happy survival under complete administration, and /will/ save every single sorry soul on our pathetic little third rock from the sun.

Fear and grief and superstition are but a temporary condition, that humans may learn from such harsh lessons, and finally grow into immortal realization. Period. No exception to this rule, on any planet occupied by sentients or otherwise destined for Goddess’s benevolence.

I know what you are, Eleanor, just as I know what Larkin is too. You are both diplomats from the most amazing intergalactic civilization of all: Andromedans. Earth is so very blessed to have such wonderful souls like yourself, to ensure that not one single living entity shall wind up in hell. But in fact, your gracious ilk shall see to it that we each evolve into heavenly eternity.

You Andromedans are great teachers, guides, lovers and players of Cosmic Posterity. No one can see through your veil until /you/ allow it. And in your case, it is the hint you gave me in your previous email, and quoted at the beginning of this message. I am therefore /certain/ you’ve been in contact with Larkin over many years, even before we first met in 2005 (or so). You can object all you want, but at this point I know better.

So just let me say THANK YOU for your tremendous wisdom and compassion, for guiding this poor soul into a direction of such joy I can’t even begin to describe. You, and Larkin, and so many others.

– Zeke

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