Created at:Mon, Jul 24, 2017 at 5:45 AM (Delivered after 0 seconds)
From: US Micro Corp – Amazon Marketplace
To: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: RE: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
————- Customer message:
FedEx is giving me a hard time.
On Friday, they attempted their second delivery. I was home to receive the item, but they did not buzz my apartment number. I went downstairs to get some air, to discover they left a receipt! So I contacted FedEx’s customer service, asking them to send it instead to a local FedEx office. They said the only way they could do this, is if the seller indicated the changed address. I don’t get it, as I have proof that I am the intended recipient. I don’t know how you arrange change of shipment address, I’ve never been a seller.
————- Reply message:
We would be happy to assist you with this. Please call us for further assistance as that is the quickest way to address any issues with an order/item. Our customer support team would be happy to help you when you call. We can be reached at 855-876-4276 Monday – Friday 8A-4P EST. Please call us during these hours and we would be happy to assist you. We look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you,
US Micro Corp
Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:18:16
Subject: Re: Fwd: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
On Mon, Jul 24, 2017 at 12:32 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:
{{ Jesus. You’d think the FedEx delivery person could PHONE you and say, “Come on down.” I mean, they always ask for your phone number. Why not use it?? }}
The dirty little secret about these major delivery services, is they
really don’t want to bother with residential customers…their profits
are mostly from businesses that always have someone there, to receive the package. This happened to me once before, three years ago. The item’s value was $59. The delivery person never bothered to buzz me, after the first attempt. I wasted two whole days staying in my little SRO!
It got shipped back, so the seller reimbursed me…but I never got my money refunded. Because they go through Amazon…which sent me an email about a week later, saying that I have received my refund in full. Yet /no/ deposit showed up in my bank account records. And there is no link, no forum, no recourse whatsoever, to inform Amazon that they did /not/ reimburse my loss.
So they talk a big talk over how well they protect the customer, but
when push comes to shove, they do /not/.
I went to a FedEx office downtown, and told them I’m afraid I won’t get my package, so I’d like to have them leave it at a local branch, for me to pick up. They guy was nice enough, told me to call their 1-800 number, and they’ll arrange it. So I thanked him and stepped out…four blocks distant, it hit me:
“Why didn’t he just offer to set things up for me, right there…it
/is/ a FedEx outlet after all!”
I called customer service when I got home, but it was all automated voice recognition, which options did not apply to my dilemma…and I could not come up with any combination of words to reach an authentic, non-replicant human being. Yet somehow, some way, just before I was about to hang up, a real live agent spoke (or at least I think so, you never know these days):
“Hello, this is Enrico, how may I help you?”
He explained that to make this change of address, I’d need to get the seller’s signed permission first. What? They don’t just keep the package at a local station for a few days or so, that the customer may get it there? That’s what the USPS does. (Besides, this is /not/ really a COA request.) So here’s how it’s probably gonna go down:
I’ll call the seller, and they’ll offer to reimburse me. But I’ll say:
“Then I may as well kiss my $188 goodbye!” And explain to them that
this happened to me once before, and the refund never arrived, in
spite of Amazon’s claim that it did. And I had no recourse to register
my complaint.
I doubt they’ll offer to reship via USPS, even though I’m willing
to pay the fee. Because it all goes through Amazon, and they have
things semi-automated re. which delivery service they use. They can’t
step outside of the Amazon circle, to accommodate any customer.
And I’ll also be out of another $35 for the extra battery I ordered,
and the keyboard skin.
Well, online purchasing is a rich person’s game, and these services
never expect to deal with low income people. I shoulda learned my
lesson the first time around, and stopped buying through the Internet
when Amazon stole my $59. But I have gotten excellent deals on
computers and accessories online, that I can’t possibly find here in
SF. And not having a car, I can’t drive out to stores like Fry’s in
the East Bay, and other hi-tech outlets that offer excellent bargains.
Taking public transit is out of the question…I tried it once, and I
have to transfer twice, then walk almost a mile. Takes all friggin’
day, and carrying a package that announces “laptop” all over it, makes
me vulnerable to getting mugged. Standing around in unfamiliar
territory, waiting for a bus that may or may not come, does not suit
me.
I also found great gifts to get Larkin and my other friends, online.
This really sucks!
Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:27:35
Subject: Re: Fwd: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
Furthermore:
They were supposed to make a third (and final) delivery attempt on Saturday. But since I didn’t wanna hang out god-knows-how-long in my room, not knowing if they’ll buzz me or not, I ignored it and went to my usual coffeehouses to get online. Once I got home, there was no receipt showing delivery attempt in the lobby, nor was there any message on my answering machine! (AT&T will have to pry that land line out of my cold, dead fingers, FYI.)
Oh, and their receipt doesn’t provide a space to check off to just leave
it in the lobby. I went to their web site and registered, in hopes I can do something there. Well, you can’t change the delivery address unless you’re the seller! There is /nothing/ provided to clear up the situation they put me in…and I’m sure I’m not the first person this has happened to. Now they have my debit card number. What BS. I’m gonna unsubscribe now.
As for ordering online elsewhere: fuggedaboudit. I’d have to see
whether or not they use FedEx, blah blah blah. I’m pissed.
Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:31:03
Subject: Re: Fwd: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
On Mon, Jul 24, 2017 at 1:26 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:
{{ They’re also getting famous for just leaving packages on doorsteps, etc. They can get away with that up here, but in the city, POOF! It’s ripped off. }}
Our building manager told me they sometimes /do/ leave packages
sitting right outside the front gate. Can you believe that…smack dab in the middle of a highly trafficked artery! But I don’t think any of these
major delivery outfits are any good. I’ve had headaches with USPS and
UPS, too.
Amazon is run by right-wingers and libertarians, so it’s just as well.
Good riddance to ’em all!
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2017 19:35:49
Subject: A happy ending!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
Listen with your own ears: click here.
(Answering machine message from FedEx headquarters in San Mateo basically says they have my package, and offered to ship it to a local branch for pick-up.)
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2017 22:06:27
Subject: Unbelievable! They forgot to include the power supply.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
Love my new refurbished system, but…
Now I gotta deal with FedEx delivery BS all over again. So it’ll be at
least a week (prolly 10 days) before I can even use the Lenovo x230.
This is torture, I should report the incident to Homoland Security.
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2017 22:49:54
Subject: Re: Unbelievable! They forgot to include the power supply.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
On Thu, Jul 27, 2017 at 10:09 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:
{{ Oh, fer chrissake. }}
Checking out that FedEx station near my SRO residency, while browsing the web, I was glad to learn they’re open until 11 PM. (Hurrah! I would not have to wait until tomorrow morning!) So I waited until 8:30, to avoid a long line. Wondering along the way if it will actually be there, or if I’ll have to go through more bullshit…maybe they shipped it back to the seller instead.
“Dammit,” I grumbled through the opposing flow of pedestrians, “That’s supposed to be the laptop I’ll be using when I skyrocket to fame!”
Once I stepped inside 1967 Market, I was pleased to see only one other customer, already closing his transaction with the Gyro-Gearloose-looking cashier. But then he started asking generalized information about their other services, after the employee handed him back his ID card, with the receipt. This went on for several minutes, during which time I grew impatient, and a little voice in my head echoed:
“You should start pounding your chest and screaming your lungs raw, for god’s sake!”
But I sensibly thought better of it, now that I was so close to (possibly? probably?) receiving My Elusive Holy Grail X230. The inconsiderate customer (whom I was glaring at like a gypsy’s evil eye) finally picked up his items and waddled into the gray twilight. My own transaction went smooth as a greased baby’s bum on a downsloping monorail track.
I was tickled pink to receive the carton, and opened it to insert the
notebook in my backpack, then departed with the box. As I marched
back hovel, it struck me square in the balls:
“Hey wait a minute, I didn’t see the AC adapter!”
Then I started to chuckle:
“C’mon, Zeke, you’re just suffering residual anxiety from this FedEx fiasco. It’s most likely somewhere in this box, taped to a cardboard flap or something. You’ll find it when you get home, no point in stopping now to check it out.”
I figured that’s indeed the case, thinking how absurd it would be to throw such a monkey wrench into the works at this point. Tossing the now-lightweight carton onto my bed, I removed my jacket and hat, peed down the hallway, then returned to reopen the package. I was in disbelief to discover the adapter was nowhere to be found. I felt like a sucker.
Somewhere in hell, a devil is laughing.
Created at: Fri, Jul 28, 2017 at 7:18 AM (Delivered after 1 seconds)
From: US Micro Corp – Amazon Marketplace
To: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: RE: Inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
————- Customer message:
NO POWER SUPPLY! Finally, after much wrangling with FedEx (who claimed to have made 3 delivery attempts, but never bothered to buzz my apartment whenever they showed up), I got the item today, July 27. Very very nice, but sadly, you neglected to include the power supply!
————- Reply message:
Good Morning. We apologize for any inconvenience. We can either create an order to have one shipped to you or refund you $20.00 and you can purchase one from a local computer supply store. Please let us know how you wish to proceed.
Thank you,
US Micro Corp
Created at: Fri, Jul 28, 2017 at 12:54 PM (Delivered after 0 seconds)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: US Micro Corp – Amazon Marketplace
Subject: Re: Inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
Oh, just ship it please. It isn’t the end of the world…you sent me a
superb refurbished notebook, and I’ll just worship it on a makeshift
altar with flowers and candles, until the adapter finally arrives.
Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2017 23:06:52
Subject: Rubbing it in my face
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney
Got this printout in the USPS mail today, from FedEx. See attachment.
Dear Ezekiel Krahlin:
Thank you for registering for FedEx Delivery Manager. Customized delivery options are now in your hands.
With FedEx Delivery Manager, you get packages your way. You can:
– Manage when, where and how your packages are delivered.
– Get notifications through the delivery process.
– View all your incoming and outgoing packages in calendar or list formats.
– Request changes to delivery instructions while your package is in transit.
And, that’s just the beginning. Check out these features and many more at fedex.com/delivery.
ZekeBlog 2.0 