Subject: Did you hear Marshall McGee’s reading of my tale?
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: Today 19:06
It’s amazing! Subtle hilarious touches both before and after the narration, especially at the end, where he says he’ll play Curious Raven’s 20-minute reading of my horror stories, “Skin in the Box” and “The Screaming Machete,” on Xmas day. His final words being: “Perfect. For Christmas, I think.”
MY SCARY TALES ARE GONNA BE READ ON XMAS DAY! My anti-Xmas wishes are coming true! All hail Satan…or is it the hypnotoad I should thank?
Subject: Re: Did you hear Marshall McGee’s reading of my tale?
From: Tara Roosevelt
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: Today 22:00
Haven’t had a chance to listen yet, but I will!!!
It is not my intent to pressure you, or disrupt you from your own busy schedule, Tara. You are the excellent sister I have never had, so I am, of course, terribly eager to share with you, my present, amazing turn in life. So no problem if you don’t get around to anything I bring up…just save me to your Zeke folder, if you’re not already, for future perusal. But I also know how fascinating is my creative explosion, thus I would never DREAM of denying you the awesome privilege to likewise be gobsmacked. After all, it is YOU who have been my greatest champion through all these difficult years of mine. Fuck my brother, Vance!
In fact, it is your absolute right and PRIVILEGE to witness the success of your compassionate acts for my sake (including encouraging me to use your real name in my very first publication, “Free Me From This Bond“). I am, in no small sum, one of the awesome results of the fruits of YOUR labor. For in this world, no one makes it alone. As Hillary Clinton once said: “It takes a village.” Though I imagine the Vikings of yore would more likely declare: “It takes a pillage.”
At any rate, I truly cherish how our association is so much like the Platonic friendships between women and men, that were so greatly admired and advocated in the Victorian Era. And for that reason alone, I much appreciate the care you take to NOT expose your ankles while in my presence!
> MY SCARY TALES ARE GONNA BE READ ON XMAS DAY! My anti-Xmas wishes are coming true! All hail Satan…or is it the hypnotoad I should thank?
Yes, snortingly hilarious indeed. I conjecture at this point in my life, that there IS a god…in the sense of Universal Mind. I can no longer question that, due to the extraordinary level of synchronicity now so obviously readjusting every level of my life into a most incredible destiny. To the point where I could simply LAY BACK AND DO NOTHING, and it would all STILL fall into place with just as impressive an outcome. Though of course I won’t feel that way, once the experimental medications wear off, and I descend into a post-Algernon miasma. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I always say! Hmm, that’s a lie, that’s not me at all, to make such a hackneyed remark. Most definitely, I am NOT a new-age clown! But the profound implications of what I am experiencing, lead me to conclude:
1) That my theory of an illusory world behind which an angelic force guides all of us is true. And, if so, all the worst things that have been recorded in our history, never really happened. Likewise for all the worst things NOW going on. I have discussed this previously, in various essays. One such piece is even featured as an embellished link on my Gay Bible’s home page, entitled: “Neopositivity: a Gay Religion (and Heart of the Final Testament):”
I wrote that way back in the year 2000! But there are other tales and essays in which I’ve explored this stunning (though some would say “arrogant”) concept, mostly in a humorous guise. Here are five such tales, and they ARE delightful, if I say so myself:
The Future Belongs To MOI – http://gay-bible.org/write/2_moi.htm
Saint Eugene and the Abundant Well – http://gay-bible.org/write/2_eugene.htm
The Mighty Mouse Virus – http://gay-bible.org/write/3_security.htm
The Cloak Of Invisibility – http://gay-bible.org/write/2_cloak.htm
Zeke’s Last Supper – http://gay-bible.org/write/2_lastsupper.htm
2) That many of my fantastic tales have a clear ring of truth to them, whether I intended so or not…some of which are bound by prescience to manifest in this world. Obviously, they’ve already begun.
3) That Taco, Wiley and Deek will be perfectly fine in the long run; I need not worry at all. Deek is simply playing a role as a most difficult friend, that I may grow further in spirit by accepting his challenges. “EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE JUST FINE, ZEKE! LIGHTEN UP!” screams a little birdie in my ear (perhaps it’s a vampire bat, or a real vampire, or a brain slug: I can’t be sure).
4) I am not the world’s savior by any means (no one is, individually)…but I DO number among the gifted people in our world, and in our history, who is destined to have a major impact on this planet, of the most beneficial sort.
4) That there are people guiding me towards a great future, most unbeknownst to me, and some known, such as your VERY gracious self! And they often convey some rather frightening perspectives on life…not to be wicked by any means, but that they are my mentors. (Quoting the Buddha: “We have no enemies, only teachers.”) And thus tell me whatever I need to hear, whether scary or glad, that will keep me on the right path, designed to set me hurtling into the brightness of a New Day, ASAP. But never TOO fast, that I don’t fully learn a particular lesson at any given time. Furthermore: they will never reveal this truth to me before my “awakening.” But once I reach that momentous apogee, all my suspicions about what I just typed above (especially #1), will be triumphantly affirmed. And, just like a surprise party that one should not know about, but always does…I will do my best to act surprised. Or not. In which case I’ll just say “Meh!” and demand a good cup of coffee and a decent home in which to enjoy that robust, roasted bean gusto, and have all my friends over…with Taco and Wiley the guests of honor. And I suppose, Deek as well. Just that, at this time he remains obnoxious, frightening and dope sick. Though I trust this side of him will dissipate in a short time from now.
5) That those so guiding me, who are my guardians, have taken down everything I’ve written, spoken, or even thought, throughout my entire life…and have been long prepared to publish the tomes thereof…without my so much as lifting a pinky.
Okay, end of reverie and back down to earth now:
I am looking into trademarking the word “Brindlekin,” and parking these sites: brindlekin.com, brindlekin.org and brindlekin.net. And possibly: brindlekin-tales.com, brindlekin-tales.org and brindlekin-tales.net. Not to mention all the variations of my name, which are: Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin, Ezekiel J. Krahlin, Ezekiel Krahlin, Zeke Krahlin, Eugene Frank Catalano, Eugene F. Catalano, Gene Catalano…and, most important of all: Jehovah’s Queer Witness.
Of course, these expenses are way beyond THIS humble pilgrim right now, and in the foreseeable future. As a consequence, I trust my guardians to preserve my trademark AND those domains for my sake; as I shall forge onward with my piddling income, in good faith that no one person or group of persons, nor any corporation, government, religious institution or any other powerful entity shall pull the rug from under my feet at any time, and for all eternity. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, do you?
Hmm, this stinks of Mafia redolence. Must be the Catalano in me.