Pups Stolen & Returned, Bldg. Mgr. Wants Dogs Out!

[Concupiscent reader: one crisis on the heels of another! Both horrendous events are documented starting around a third of the way down. So just be patient; enjoy the flurry of OTHER scenarios immediately prior TO them.]


Re: Weird & Stupid Incident Yesterday!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 7, 2021 7:24 PM

Awful. I admire your restraint and your reserves of energy. Yes, one of the worst things about being poor is that you’re at the mercy of whatever fate slings at you, without the protective padding money can provide. The fucking jerk in blackface, and then the clerk not knowing what the term even means. Then the other guy accusing you of “stealing” the dogs. The brute thick-skulled aggrieved aggressiveness of the Capitol mob permeating every level of society.

Well THAT was well said, my dear Wattson! In my latest assignment to uncover a dark mystery with roots deeper than I anticipated, I have embedded myself among the apes. I forgot to ALSO mention that last night around 10:30 PM, a policeman was out front by his parked vehicle, talking with (of all people) Myrtle and her son, Adis! I have NO idea how, what, who, where, when or why, but Adis was feigning such a happy-go-lucky demeanor, it literally reeked of falsity. As if he were attempting to bury his conscience under a pile of feigned devil-may-care dirt, and plant a flower in it! If he has a green thumb, I’d say it’s GANGrenous! They are partners in crime, mother-and-son, in cahoots with Kevin Bond the building manager!

His agreement to allow her son’s teenage friends to loiter in the hallway withOUT wearing masks (and withOUT informing all residents in the immediate vicinity) makes him slam-dunk complicit. And mom and son OPTED for this scenario, to protect THEMSELVES from spreading covid-19 among each other, IOW: they shifted the risk onto my own person, and that of other residents living close by, as well as anyone passing up and down the stairs (which includes a few elderly people, two hobbling along with a cane, and another with a wheelchair).

Add to this the false accusation by mother-and-son of one of my dogs biting Adis, and drawing blood. Which accusation Kevin seemed most eager to push forward, in spite of the OBVIOUS bad timing of such a claim, because it came right on the heels of their receiving a copy of my complaint against them, to Ablahblah Realty! Ain’t they nice people! I have a feeling, Wattson, that their guts are churning with guilt, and soon worms will bust holes in their midriffs to escape these horrid surroundings!

Don’t know what’s up with Marshall; like I said, haven’t seen him or talked to him in about a year…

Yes, I know you haven’t, but I wanted to reflect upon this situation, as I find it MOST perplexing, in light of the fact he HAD resumed reading my tales last month with apparent delight. Then, abruptly it seems, dropped me like a rabid porcupine. Did some ONE or some THING get to him? On another matter:

The pups ate heartily tonight, and last night…but nothing at all in the morning or afternoon. They are NOT big eaters, I must say! Now, they are happily a-snooze, lying on their backs with hind legs splayed, torsos curved, paws dangling drupaceously from their front legs, and heads turned to one side or the other: UTTER, BLISSFUL CONTENTMENT! They are smiling. I am SO glad to give them sanctuary through it all. Mine is an amazing story of how the good triumphs over evil, thus it SHALL have a most joyful ending, indeed. Which SHOULD be very soon as I have already completed 32 awesome chapters as of yesterday!

Your comrade in arms, in service always to Her Majesty, I remain:

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Subject: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 13, 2021 5:51 PM

My Good Dr. Wattson,

The is to inform you I have just edited the description of my video titled “My Contract with Deek,” to include the following statement right at the top:

TO ANY OF DEEK’S HOMELESS FRIENDS WHO BELIEVE I ACTUALLY STOLE HIS DOGS: please read the following blog entry I call “In My Defense,” before you pass judgment:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2021/02/12/in-my-defense/

I forewent doing more laundry, to spend most of the day composing this work, which, if I say so myself, is outstanding! It is in light of that black fellow with his bike, who accused me of stealing the pooches…and who now has a link to that video, “My Contract with Deek.” So the first thing they’ll see right below the video, is that statement I added only moments ago. I am assuming he will NOT stop with watching the video for himself, but share it with many other homeless folks who know Deek, even if just a little.

In that piece, I excoriate Deek, for one, with a rather detailed list of his offenses. But there is SO MUCH MORE to it, that will both cause his homeless allies to stop dead in their tracks with any thought of harassing me, as well as get them on my side. (Or perhaps cause quite the opposite: gang wars. It’s all the same to THIS meddlesome pilgrim.) I’ve even included addressing that smug dufus on a bike, at the very end. I DO hope you can find the time to read it, as it is rather significant in the scheme of things…gay underground resistance and all that rot!

  • Zeke K-Holmes

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 13, 2021 10:38 PM

Started reading. Will finish tomorrow. Excellent detail. I did skip ahead to read the message to Umbrella Man. Hope he has the brains to really read it. Regarding that, I am not sanguine….

It was an immensely pleasurable day for me, cobbling that piece together, including links and images…with two sweet doggies resting beside me. Regarding the fool who saved the video link to “My Contract with Deek:”

He is obviously the gossipy type, so it matters not whether or not he has sufficient IQ to read the entire article, let alone capiche the end part, which is all about him. Seeing as he is highly likely to share the video with many others, some of whom ARE no doubt quite intelligent, albeit homeless. And thus, THEY will more likely grasp my points, thereby being impacted in a positive way. Impressed enough, that is, to eagerly share it with others. The Butterfly Effect has nothing over me! Except, perhaps, for a teensy bit of pollen wafting my way now and then. How do you think I get pregnant, anyway? Pregnant with ideas, that is! The only kind of children I would NEVER abort. Instead, I pack ’em inside small, glass jars, pickled in briny alcohol…for future reference.

  • Zeke

Subject: Once Deek gets wind of his Youtube appearance…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 13, 2021 10:51 PM

…he will most likely rant and spit over my exposing him to the public, on a rather large scale. But what outcome SHOULD he expect, after years of treating me, his best friend of all time, like shit? He was not aware of these pics I took of him, so now I will inform him (probably right AFTER he asks how many OTHER photos I’ve taken):

“If you continue to badmouth me to all your street friends, I will also release certain videos I’ve recorded of you, while in my room…taken by my laptop without your knowledge.”

Suggesting, of course, the most intimate and personal kind of clips. Not that I’ve actually done that, but who am I to inform him otherwise? I will further declare:

“In fact, if you don’t start speaking WELL of me to everyone who knows you, including admitting you DID sell the dogs to me, fair and square, I WILL release those videos. And I have my OWN spies to check up on you, and see whether or not you’ve followed up on my demand. So if you LIE to me about righting your wrongs before others who’ve heard you gossip, I WILL share those compromising videos to the public.”

All’s fair in friendship and battle.

  • Zeke

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 14, 2021 7:14 PM

You mean Deek asleep with his head in his lap, little doggie sandwiched in there? Kind of a prizewinning photo, I think…

Yes, it is…I love that photo, it touches the heart.

Placing his pic in that letter in my defense, will show him I’ve taken photos of him w/o his knowledge. That way, I can make him think I also have some compromising videos of him, naked, while visiting me in my hovel…one of which shows him giving me a BJ! So he’d BETTER right those wrongs against me, including telling his friends he actually DID sell me the doggies fair and square. AND speaking well of me to EVERYONE, confessing he was lying about me all along.

Read the whole thing.

Much appreciated, Dr. Wattson. Though I’m afraid Umbrella Man may not even be able to locate “My Contract with Deek,” because I just told him it’s in my “Action Videos” playlist. But I have so many videos in that particular section, you have to scroll down quite a bit, and you can’t just search for “Chaz,” as I now call him “Deek” in my Brindlekin Tales and Videos. And he’s using a tiny, smartphone screen. Well, I’m SURE if he does find the video, he’ll also click on the link to my “defense” piece, and leave a comment at the bottom. If he doesn’t I’ll assume he’s actually not been able to locate the “contract” video. If I run into him again (and he gives me the chance), he can whip out his phone, and I’ll get him right TO the video in question. This is getting SO exhausting, having to deal with so many dimwits, you’d think I was in the Trump White House!

What’s to become of him??

He’s my guardian angel–well, at least he’s ONE of them–playing a role so that I become the hero in this scenario he’s created. So he’ll be perfectly fine. He’s not really homeless, anyway, nor do I think anyone is. They are angels testing humanity’s compassion. I’ve brought this up before, more than once; that he and Larkin are probably my guardians, making up these awesome scenarios where I play the hero. And others, likewise, my guardians, though I don’t know who they are…though presumably part of Larkin’s crew. That blackfaced skateboarder is one of them, I’m sure. They are my bodhisattvas, my “teachers” who instruct me by manifesting challenges to go through, rather than by sitting me down to a lecture.

Including Umbrella Man (another bodhisattva), checking me out to see how calm I’d remain, in dealing with his provocation. I’m sure he gave me an A+. It’s quite a clever ruse. I’ve had visions some years back, which I wrote about in Free Me From This Bond, of my guardians cleaning up my room and even transforming it into a masterpiece of tiny living, with kitchen, bathroom, and all. They would do this while one of them invites me out for a bite to eat, or watch a movie. Or just do it when they know I’ll be away from my hovel for at least an hour. Like magical elves who can accomplish such tasks in that short a time, kinda like that Grimm fairy tale, “The Elves and the Shoemaker!” Well, it hasn’t happened yet, but I believe it will; I believe the vision is true.

Now, I’m thinking when I step out for the bedbug treatment, I will return to a beautifully renovated abode. And, thanks to my guardians’ awesome, other-worldly powers, I think they will even put a wormhole in one wall (say, the one facing Market Street), that I may step into several MORE rooms, which in total makes for a VERY spacious apartment. So, my dear Wattson, these extra rooms will actually be located right over Market Street, all the way from one side to the other! Though invisible to those outside. I may even have a garden and a large backyard where the puppies can exercise! Perhaps there’ll also be a porthole to Larkin’s reptilian planet, at the farthest end of the yard, in the corner with the treehouse. :)

Meanwhile:

Lucky seems to have become a safe-sex expert! Not only does he back off when I catch him humping her (and it only takes a glance in his direction for him to stop, as he looks at me with such a guilty expression any more), but now I’m catching him DRY HUMPING her…by rubbing his boner on her lower back! And, most ot the time when Flaco presents her rear to him, instead of mounting her, he’ll sniff for awhile, then grab her tail or a hind leg, and start pulling away, until they both start play-fighting, yelping, and wrestling on the comforter! In addition: Flaco has begun humping Lucky with greater frequency, these past few days! I’m amazed at just how intelligent these two pups are…I’ve never seen anything like this, before. VERY little training is required for them to understand the new instruction, and they learn it in one or two days.

They are also back to eating full meals again, twice a day. This is great. Though they STILL don’t stand on their back feet and dance around me, as I carry their dishes across the room. They used to ALWAYS do that! I think maybe they’d prefer NOT to eat the same old thing every single friggin’ day. So I ordered another brand and blend of canned food; we’ll see how that goes. Though I’m almost out of GoFundMe money, but I trust it will soon be replenished.

Thanks again for reading the piece, as it’s one of the most important treatises I have ever writ…and it’s a gift to the long suffering homeless. Who, ironically, are not REALLY suffering one iota…for they are angels who return to their heavenly homes after each workday of pretending to be vagrants.

Your friend forever,

Ezekiel J. Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Re: [MCN-Announce]- Insurrections and other areas of interest
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN
Date: February 14, 2021 7:47 PM

On Sat, 13 Feb 2021 19:56:24 -0800 Marley Spengel posted:

Spiders are a wonder to behold!

Hello, Mr. Spengel!

Yes, our eight-legged friends ARE amazing, and SUCH an important aspect of our environment, the world over. Around twelve or so years ago, I met this friendly, long-haired fellow who lived just three blocks away from my own residence. He invited me over for a visit and a cup of tea. Upon entering, I was overwhelmed by a large, gorgeous flat just shimmering with a HUGE spider vivarium composed of dozens of large, glass-enclosed, rectangular and square habitats that extended through the flat’s entire length, and reached all the way up to the ceiling! Some of these glass mini-habitats were large enough to fit two people inside, crouched down! Sparkling webs everywhere, and spiders glinting in every color and fascinating combinations thereof, like living jewels moving all about. I had NO idea whether or not any were poisonous, nor did I ask. I concealed my nervousness well, as I sipped my Oolong, and we chatted about this and that…including the spiders. But all the while, I thought to myself: “This has the makings of a cult horror film, with me the hapless victim!”

I was stunned by the beauty and impeccable spotlessness of his flat, and wondered how he managed to keep it so sparkling clean, every square inch of it! I also wondered: do any of them ever escape, and how does he resolve that…what if an earthquake happens, strong enough to break one or more of these glass cases…how does he feed so many…has the landlord seen this and, if so, does it fall under the category of “pet friendly”…will he lock me in and feed me to the arachnids if I ask to use the restroom…what is the best way to exit this place ASAP in as gracious a manner as possible…did he poison the tea?

At any rate, my host mentioned that his landlord wants to increase the rent by a ridiculously high amount, and he’s fighting it all the way. I don’t know what happened with that, nor what he’s doing now, or even where he is. Seeing as I only visited him once.


Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 14, 2021 10:49 PM

Yes. They were in touch with me yesterday, asking my opinion on fabrics and decor. I said in no uncertain terms: No chintz, no plaid, no Naugahyde, and knotty pine is punishable by death!

Greatly appreciated, Wattson! Though I’m sure you went MUCH further than that, in the actual design and components TO my 4-D flat…perhaps even suggesting it be a three-story Victorian structure, which I’d love very much! I’d also like the windows to be “adjustable” in either of two ways: (1) with views of the alternate reality in which my new domicile resides, and (2) with views of the Castro in the same spot in which my new domicile overlaps THIS reality…without anyone OUTside even seeing or knowing of its presence…IOW it will be completely invisible, and so permeable, even birds, insects, rain, dust and sunlight will pass right through it. Now here’s an interesting tidbit (and it’s true, I swear it):

Back when Timothy Dipalma was residing in 9666 Market Street (during which time he painted my portrait, and I showed him my own remarkable “Unicorn Without A Horn” acrylic-on-blue-sweatshirt painting one frenzied, schizophrenic night…which tale I’ve shared with you considerable years ago), he spoke numerous times about creating a kind of wormhole tunnel connecting this building with a location somewhere in Mendocino County! With hindsight, I take this as a prophetic hint of my own remarkable destiny. For I otherwise had no idea what he meant by this, especially since he didn’t really EXPLAIN the concept to me. As for my portrait:

I take offense at the caption he put below it, on his artist website, which is: “portrait as visualization and blessing to heal the subject.” That’s rather subjectively presumptuous, that I need to be healed, IMO! See for yourself:

http://www.desennart.com/galleries/portraits/attachment/gene_oil-on-canvas_1989_Timothy-de-senna_700/

BTW, good doctor, if you’d like to refresh your memory about my letter to you regarding my “hornless” unicorn painting, it is dated November 14 2007, and can be found here:

http://www.gay-bible.org/truetales/6_skulduggery.htm

It’s the paragraph that begins with “It was during Anthony’s residency” and is 17 paragraphs total. Though most of these paragraphs are only two or three sentences long, and some are just one. At any rate, that passage ends with a lovely image of Pegasus.

Humans could learn a lot from them.

Yes indeed…Canis familiaris is an amazing species! Two of them are also companions to the Greek goddess, Artemis, herself! I was even thinking, for awhile, of renaming the two pups “Artemis” and “Apollo.” But I decided that’s a bit over the top.

I certainly hope so…

And…I kinda think you already KNOW so, considering what an advanced human being you are (or should I say “reptilian” rather than “human?”). I have experienced MANY hints and innuendos that this is the case: that there really ARE no homeless, just bodhisattvas testing our compassion. Or, perhaps it should be stated in this better way: by witnessing the misfortune and suffering of others (albeit in a fake manner, by heavenly thespians feigning homelessness), we hopefully grow in wisdom, and can even become heroes by taking action against such apparent wrongs. Deek has mocked me several times over my being such a great advocate for the homeless…just ONE of the countless hints that indicate something OTHER is really going on. Well, this concept (that the worst suffering we believe occurred or presently occurs, is a ruse, though a lovely one at that, considering the implications) all ties in with my “Neopositivity” treatise that I wrote in the year 2000. And is based on the Buddha’s statement that we have no enemies, only teachers.

Your compatriot and partner of MANY super-duper-natural adventures,

  • Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 12:27 AM

FURTHER EXAMPLES OF THESE “HINTS” THAT NOT IS ALL AS IT SEEMS, REGARDING SUFFERING, STRIFE, POVERTY AND WAR

Actually, such clues referred to in my previous email, have been with me all my life. Though it was my BROTHER who was born in Bethlehem (PA), instead of yours truly! Not that I think I AM Jesus (who probably never existed in the first place), but that the universe is playing a sweet joke on me, because indeed I DO have a most astounding destiny, nonetheless. Of similar import, thought not entirely.

When I was an artist’s model at the University of Missouri, EVERY student in one class (whose teacher happened to be Frank Stack, underground comic book author of “The Adventures of Jesus” series) portrayed me in a mystical light, in one way or another. One student painted me seated on a throne, with my right hand resting upon the head of a woman seated on the floor…and lovely rays of light were beaming down upon us. Another showed me looking up into an ethereal blue sky, with the faintly inscribed words, “Look Up!” in one of the clouds. Yet another depicted me as a kind of comic book superhero. Here is a short video about Mr. Stack, in case you’re curious:

Also during my years in Columbia, Missouri, these two priests from the Holy Order of Mans (a new-age, Paulean branch of the Catholic Church) came into my life…they were eager to know me better, offered to baptise me (which I allowed), and appeared before me in surprising ways, as I strolled about the town…as if spying upon me, or like celebrity hounds.
I asked them once, “Who am I?” as many self-reflective speculations had started haunting my mind that year. I was NOT satisfied with their answer, which was: “You have to discover that for yourself.”

My Randolph Odyssey is another example, where numerous hints were strewn across my path, over more than a decade. Some of which have been noted in my first self-published book, “Free Me From This Bond.” One such example is in Chapter 5 (“Latest Gift”) in which I describe some angels in a dream telling me I need not worry about acquiring the money to fly out to Washington, D.C., to visit him at the VAMC hospital, as it will show up at the right time. For which chapter my illustrator, S. Rohan, sketched this lovely rendering of three cherubs, one handing me a wad of dollar bills:

There was also the time when a Native American claiming to be a shaman, suddenly appeared before me in a gay bar here in the Castro, to tell me I did a lousy job of helping Randy. Now, get this, it was more than three years since he died, and I certainly was NOT known any more for my activism on his behalf…or, IOW, I was once again a nobody. And I’ve never seen this “shaman” before, nor ever again. After much deliberation for many days after that brief encounter, I concluded he is a BACKWARDS shaman. In case you don’t know already, a backwards shaman always tells you the OPPOSITE of the truth. He ALSO told me he was from Wakpala, the village in South Dakota, near which the archeology crew of which I was a member, did some digs up there, back in 1971.

I consider Larkin to be the most prolific hint-dropper of all, which clues I have shared with you countless times already, rich in detail and examples. So you’re ALREADY familiar with all that, thus I need not bother going through those episodes again, in this missive. Much to both YOUR, and MY, relief. :)

There are dozens MORE examples I could give regarding such hints, but I think this email suffices.

  • Zeke

Subject: If you think Helen Tosser is oh-so-progressive and compassionate…think again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN, Discussion MCN
Date: February 15, 2021 3:50 PM

This is basically a reminder, that she is virulently anti-LGBT rights, as well as anti-sex-education, anti-sex-out-or-wedlock, and anti-abortion. She made that very clear to me, and to everyone else on the discussion list, back in April of 2017. That horrid post of hers was later read that same month, on Marshall McClean’s Friday night “Memo of the Weird” radio show on KNYO. You may hear his reading of her nasty screed by clicking on the following video, and listening to the first 5-and-a-half minutes of that recording:


Subject: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS, but I got them back!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 10:15 PM

This happened less than an hour ago. I took the doggies out for their bedtime walk. As I crossed 16th to Noe Street, Flaco slipped out of her collar…and as I bent down to put it back on, Deek suddenly showed up. I guess he was hanging out behind my building, waiting for that moment. He picked up Flaco, and (talk about bad timing) Lucky ALSO slipped out of his collar and ran up to Deek. He said he has over fifty friends right around here, and all he has to do is whistle.

Well, I said I’m not afraid, that he’s making a mistake, please give them back. I couldn’t pepper spray him, because he was holding Flaco in his arms. So I had no choice but to let him walk off with them. I then ran upstairs to call 911. I only had to wait five minutes, before they showed up. They had already apprehended Deek and the dogs. They had me walk down Market to where they were holding him. Deek admitted I gave him $300, but it wasn’t in exchange for the pups. Oh, yeah, the cops DID see the video, and recorded it.

They asked him if he had proof of ownership, and Deek said yeah, they’re registered with the SPCA. They told him to return the dogs to me, and they will be in my custody until he shows the papers to prove he’s their owner. Of course, Deek was all mellow and cool, acting just like the big phony he is, telling them he has no idea why I won’t give the pups back…doing the whole sob number as well. “Why can’t I have my dogs back, they’re mine?” But I had already explained to the police, that he has serious mood swings and takes meth…and has been abusing the dogs for months, now.

So, I took the dogs back hovel, with a case ticket indicating one of the officer’s names, badge number and phone. They told me my video wouldn’t hold up in court, and if Deek has the papers, I’ll have to return the mutts to him. They instructed Deek to go to the SPCA tomorrow and get those papers. And if he does that, they’ll knock on my door and I’ll have to give them back.

I seriously DOUBT he has the pooches registered with the SPCA, but it IS possible. Also, now I feel especially threatened, very wary about taking them out for walks…as who knows what he’ll try to pull next? He’s obviously got some friends on his side…and they’re not the most stable, to say the least. Well I’m sure he was calling my bluff (about having friends who’d appear quickly if he whistled), because NO one else was around anywhere near my building.

One of the officers told me I should’ve gotten him to sign an agreement…I told him I understand, but Deek refused to do that, and I was desperate to get the dogs protected ASAP.

That attorney NEVER got in touch with me, and now I REALLY need one bad. This is also what happens when you’re poor: you have LITTLE to NO legal recourse on anything. Let’s hope Deek doesn’t have any proof from the SPCA. But even if he doesn’t go there tomorrow, it’s possible he DOES have papers, and will bring them to the police station another day. He also has a case ticket, of course…but one thing that’s DEFINITELY on my side, is that he can’t manage to hold on to ANYthing, especially papers. Let’s keep out fingers crossed that he was just as sloppy when it comes to registering the pups, in that he never got around to it.

  • Zeke

PS: Is it possible the SFPD has their own way of preventing Deek from getting the dogs back? If so, I’ll never know about it…just that Deek will no longer be around. You never know, because it looks like I DO have allies I’m not aware of; something I’ve suspected for many years. If I HAVE to give them up, so be it…I’ll just put my faith in knowing that some how, some way, the brindlekin shall be brought back to me, unscathed. They were BOTH very happy to be returned to me, BTW, as each of them were standing up with paws on my legs, giving me kisses…and the cops saw that. They departed before I was even halfway hovel, and I heard Deek call out, “Lucky! Lucky!” Neither he nor Flaco bothered to pull on their leashes to try to get back to him. (Doesn’t HE have the nerve to do that, the moment the coppers drive away!) They readily returned home with me.


Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Watson
Date: February 15, 2021 10:32 PM

I sometimes have dreams of “discovering” vast endless rooms full of treasures and elegant furniture, with infinitely intricately beautiful mosaic floors and chandeliers and such. The feeling in these dreams is that those rooms were there all along, just on the other side of a door, and that they and everything in them are mine, all mine…my dreams are not always so exalted. Mostly, they are roiling, seething, humiliating and squalid, though always vivid.

That probably comes from your childhood, when you actually HAD a rambling old, lovely house to visit. A friend of your mothers, I think, or a relative. I remember you telling me about it.

Every once in a while I have a genuine nightmare, though rarely. A good thing, too, because when I do, they’re doozies. Like the dream I had where I played a role in knowingly luring an innocent friend to a lonely crossroads in the woods so that somebody else could murder him with a shovel. When I have a dream like that, I attribute it to my “writer’s brain” furnishing me with an experience I’m unlikely to have in real life–being an accessory to murder. Because of the dream, I know what it feels like.

Yes, I’m sure it’s your “writer’s brain,” because you are ALWAYS thinking up good crime plots. Isn’t you next book gonna be about Ed Gein, or some other serial killer?

Fairly mind-boggling, all things considered.

Oh, no question. I do NOT have delusions of grandeur, but I certainly have SOMEthing most unique and intriguing going on, in my life. If this “wormhole” thing isn’t just a fantasy, that would indicate that Timothy is likewise one of my main guardians. That means he’s been receiving reports about me from my guardian network, all along.

The caption is indeed offensive. But the portrait is luminous. He really is a fine artist. He almost went mad with joy over the imagery in COURT OF THE LION. I SO appreciated his appreciation.

Mine is the only painting where he stated something like that! I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what I consider his most exquisite work of all. It’s the Madonna and Child theme, which I could NOT find on his website. He showed it to me that one time I visited him up in Mendocino. Truly a masterpiece of a high order. I’d love for you to see it!

  • Zeke

Re: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS [addendum]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:26 PM

One of the cops questioned Deek why didn’t he report it to the police and the SPCA right away, if he thought I stole them from him…why did he not do that? Deek just shrugged his shoulders, said he thought I was just taking care of them for a few days. Yet the police already know I’ve had them under my guardianship since January 7th.

He also said to Deek: this man (me) gave you $300 out of the goodness of his heart to take care of the dogs, and now you’re denying it?

Another cop, after looking at the video, did comment that he seems quite belligerent. I told him, yes, and that is why I was concerned about his abusing the dogs, and it was going to get worse if I didn’t intervene immediately.

The cops also acknowledged that I planned to return the dogs after he had a roof over his head, and gave up the meth. They were impressed. I was calm, not upset in the least, through it all. I didn’t even verbally intervene while Deek told lies about me, before the cops.

So I think the SFPD handled things superbly, and know what’s REALLY up. That Deek is a meth addict, a phony, a liar and a two-timer…all wrapped up in one, tragic package. I’m sure I’ll be fine…as will the pups.

  • Zeke

Re: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS [one more thing]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:30 PM

It was quite eerie that BOTH collars slipped off, one shortly after another. It was as if an invisible hand loosened them, for neither dog was pulling to try to rid themselves of their collars. They were just suddenly off! It was as if this little scenerio was supPOSED to happen, and there was nothing I could do about it. Unbelievable, all the crap I’ve been going through, daily!


Re: DEEK JUST STOLE THE PUPS [one more thing]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:42 PM

Good Gawd. What a hair-raising adventure. Good for you for staying calm and rational; you just KNOW it made a big difference for the cops, who are accustomed to babbling, bellowing, belligerent lowlifes.

Yes, I’m sure that counted for a lot.

Maybe instead of collars, those harness things??

Someone donated two harnesses, but they turned out to be too small. I’m waiting on my refund to get the next largest size. However, I’ve tried harnesses before, when Deek still owned them. Flaco was nonetheless able to slip off her harness, just like the collar. So harnesses are no more secure than collars.

As I said in my previous email, it was really weird that they both slipped out of their collars, as if an invisible hand released them. Otherwise, Lucky has NEVER gotten out of his collar before this…it is just Flaco that does now and then. But she ALWAYS stays by me, waiting to get that collar back on. Another thing that Deek claimed before the cops, which is obviously a lie:

Not only were the pups registered in his name at the SPCA, they’re also chipped. DEFINITELY not true. I just phoned the SPCA to ask them if they have anyone by the name of Chaz or Charles Henderson with a registered dog. But they put me on hold, saying it will take longer than usual to pick up the phone, due to this pandemic. And they don’t offer voicemail. So I just hung up. I doubt I really have anything to worry about, anyway.

Deek needs to prove he’s the owner, but he can’t. So, any more attempts to steal the doggies would be a more serious violation. I HATE that I’ll have to keep the mutts outside for four hours, on the day of the bedbug treatment. I’ll definitely hang out north of here, where it’s very unlikely Deek or his minions will find me. It’s just deeper in the Castro and the Mission that is the danger zone. Strange, though, that the manager has yet to set up a day for when the treatment will occur.

I sure wish I could just up and move outta the shitty city! As it now stands, I am STUCK in the middle of all this horrifc nastiness, and must deal with it CONSTANTLY. Last night, before Deek ran off with the pooches, he threatened to have all his friends camp out around my building and blast loud music all night. This guy does a GREAT job of sabotaging his own life…I’ve never seen anything quite like this extreme of self destruction!

I ALSO told him he’s been abusing the dogs, and guess what his response was?

“I OWN them, you do not!”

I did NOT get the chance to warn him about my releasing some compromising videos of him, while he was visiting my hovel, should he continue to badmouth me, and be a serious disruption in my life. Our dialog was just moving too fast for that. But I DO think that’s a joker up my sleeve, worth playing at the right moment.

  • Zeke

Re: In My Defense [IMPORTANT, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, IT’S AN 8]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 15, 2021 11:58 PM

By Jove, I think you’ve got it.

Jove is always sticking his nose into other people’s business. :)

That was my grandmother’s house in Brooklyn, a full-on three-story Victorian with a dumbwaiter, a back staircase, clawfoot bathtubs, turrets, secret rooms, leaded glass windows and a suit of 16th-century Japanese armor in the front hallway! She inherited the house from her father, my great-grandfather Col. Alexander Bacon, who had some notoriety in his day…she sold the house when I was maybe five years old, but I had the privilege of running around in it in my most formative years, up to age four.

Aha! And since it was a rich experience at such an early age, it most likely became firmly embedded in your subconscious…thus bubbling up in your dreamworld now and then. It’s a fortunate memory to have, as it probably triggered your massive, creative flow…or at least, contributed to it in most beneficial ways.

Hope I do, somehow.

It’s an exquisite painting, not because I idolize Christian themes (which I do not), but as a work of art in its technique, colors, balance, detail and spirit of the artist, it’s a true masterpiece! These Christian themes have much deeper, cultural roots in earlier civilizations…as Christianity is simply a theft of more ancient belief systems. A mother depicted with her son is clearly an archetype that is both universal, and goes all the way back to the dawn of humanity…crossing over into ALL religious themes. Carl Jung had a lot to say about that. Christianity is just late to the party.

So glad I majored in anthropology instead of journalism!

  • Zeke

Re: No cops have shown up to take the pups away!
From: My Dear Wattson
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: February 16, 2021 6:47 PM

You, my dear Wattson, have the unique privilege of always being the first to know of my latest imbroglio! I suggest that, if you should, perchance, bump into Timothy, that you bring up my former name, Gene Catalano, to see how he reacts, and if he’ll say anything that may give us a clue about this “wormhole tunnel.”

Just tonight, I saw a post on the list serve, two “senior men” looking for a place to live, preferably a place with room to paint, and their names are Timothy and Bob!


Re: No cops have shown up to take the pups away!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 6:54 PM

Just tonight, I saw a post on the list serve, two “senior men” looking for a place to live, preferably a place with room to paint, and their names are Timothy and Bob!

Maybe that’s Bob Dobbs from the Church of the Subgenius!


Re: No cops have shown up to take the pups away!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 8:39 PM

Sure seems like dat ol’ wormhole be openin’ fo’ bidness.

Indeedy do, and a hidey-ho!
Step right up and you’re good to go.
Schrodinger’s cat will steal the show.


Subject: Regarding Timothy’s Post to the Announcement List
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 8:51 PM

I just sent this reply, didn’t want you to miss it, good doctor!


Re: [MCN-Announce]- ISO FB housing
Date: 2021-02-16 18:14
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN

On Mon, 15 Feb 2021 21:25:59 -0800 whizkid wrote:

> Posting for a treasured friend. I would recommend them without reservation.

“Timothy and Bob,” eh? I don’t know Bob, but I DO know Timothy, because once upon a time he lived in the same apartment complex as myself, here in Baghdad by the Bay. He’s an INCREDIBLE artist and a truly magnanimous human being! And Mendoland is most fortunate to have such an exquisite painter in their midst. We’ve had quite a few fun and intriguing stories together during those days, one of which I call “Gene’s Painting of Unicorn Without a Horn.” That’s right, my birth name is Gene Catalano, but I changed my name, to Zeke Krahlin in 1996 (has to do with a kind of witness protection). Anyway, why not put a broad grin on his face by bringing up that particular adventure? You might ALSO enjoy viewing the portrait he did of me, as I posed for him in his studio apartment facing 16th Street, here in the Castro:

http://www.desennart.com/galleries/portraits/attachment/gene_oil-on-canvas_1989_antony-de-senna_700/


Subject: Building Manager Demands I Get Rid of the Dogs!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 16, 2021 11:21 PM

I just received a letter in the mail from Kevin Bond, with a cc notice to Ablahblah Realty:

Click here for a larger view.

His five accusations (that they are “vicious,” that one of them bit and drew blood on a resident, that he’s sure one of them would’ve bitten him, that adopting a pooch from a drug addict means that dog is bad, and that I let them run around the building) are all easy to refute…what’s his problem? This is out-and-out harassment. I will compose my rebuttal later today, and email you a copy. One bodhisattva challenge after another!


Re: Building Manager Demands I Get Rid of the Dogs!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 12:03 AM

Oh, Christ. Why all of a sudden??

I believe it’s retaliation for my complaint to Ablahblah Realty, about the teenage loiterers…and that, for some reason, he’s tied up in defending the hypocrites Myrtle and her son, Adis, to the very end. I think that he (and they) want to find some way to get me removed from the building. “All of a sudden” because maybe he only came up with this retaliation yesterday or this morning. Interesting thing about the letter: it had no signature from either an attorney or a representative of Ablahblah…and was not on official company paper. Perhaps he’s faking it, and never sent a copy to them? But on a higher, “bodhisattva” level:

Just another challenge hurled at my feet, to make me a hero. There is NO judge anywhere on Goddess’s green and blue earth that would rule in his favor. Ergo, it’s a setup for me to easily win. Perhaps they desire a lawsuit whereby I collect some thousands of dollars for my GoFundMe account. The hint comes from the fact it is clearly NOT any official complaint, and I question if the property owner really received a copy of it. So the folks at Ablahblah will have a hearty laugh once they read my rebuttal…for I suspect that they, too, are in on the ruse, and actually WANT me to sue them.

Nonetheless, I DO resent being forced to worry once more, and to have my valuable time wasted on defending myself over ridiculous accusations. But I understand WHY it’s happening: I am about to be celebrated for my decades of service. So, this is more like an initiation into a society of bodhisattvas, than any sort of REAL crisis. Just like Deek’s recent theft of the pooches. And weren’t the peacekeepers amazing!

I will send you a copy of my reply to him some time this evening. It will be surprisingly friendly, BTW.

Or (I am thinking) maybe I should just IGNORE it for the nonce. What say you, Wattson?

  • Zeke Krahlin-Holmes

Subject: How’s THIS for my rebuttal to the manager’s absurd accusations:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 1:24 AM

I’ll just slip the following note under his door:

Ha, ha, very funny. I hope you had a lovely day, and will have an equally lovely evening.

Yours in the Incredible Flying Spaghetti Monster who sacrificed his meatballs, that we may all have a spectacular, eternal life in this pot of tangy sauce we call “life,”

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin
LGBT and homeless activist extraordinaire

–end


Re: How’s THIS for my rebuttal to the manager’s absurd accusations:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 11:34 AM

He seems a little “limited,” imagination-wise. If I were in your shoes (ow!), I’d let a day or so elapse before responding.

Hmm, okay. I see NO reason NOT to present it to him tonight…as his accusations are completely shabby, and could easily wind up in his being fired, should he try to carry out his demand. But here is the final draft. Before I show it to you, I want to note that, with a little hindsight, I realized that the building manager so much as ADMITTED that the dogs did NOT bite him, that day he came very close to them while they were barking up a storm, and accused accused me with:

“Oh, they DO bite!”

Because in that letter, he said he’s SURE Lucky would’ve bitten him had I not held him back on the leash. Which is blatantly untrue. The worst he’d do is nip at his heels…but he rarely even does that when someone upsets him. I know, because the few times he’s slipped from my hand, or someone came really close before I had a chance to stop him, all Lucky did was stand about a foot away and keep on barking. Flaco is the same way. And Kevin KNOWS that, because two previous times he approached them, he crouched down while they barked and extended a hand. The did NOT bite, just quieted down a few moments while sniffing him, then backed up to resume barking. Anyway, here’s my response that I will soon slip under his door (but not until you send me your opinion about it, as I value your insight):

–begin:

Dear Kevin:

Ha, ha, very funny. Everyone seems to be giving me a hard time these days. I always forget around this time of year, that it is the International Razz Zeke Week. Don’t remember when it started, but I’m guessing in 1986, the year after I flew out to D.C. to stand beside our own, gay anti-war hero, Randolph Louis Taylor, for three weeks. Which gained me a good level of fame, as a result. And many secret admirers, especially here in Baghdad by the Bay a.k.a. “Gay Mecca.”

I even had to deal with Deek’s attempted theft of the pups two nights ago, while I was taking them for a late-night walk. I couldn’t pepper spray him, because that would injure the little dogs, so had to let him run off with them. But the SFPD was prompt, and got them back into my hands within minutes…they were spectacular. I think their quick response is due, in part, to my saving the life of one of their own…again, Randy Taylor (who was a cop here, in the early 80s). At least, I like to think so.

I can NOT take your most recent, spooky letter to me seriously (as I couldn’t the previous one)…and I believe it wasn’t intended to be serious, but a joke being played on me, as part of some initiation in preparation for some sort of surprise party in my honor, that the local LGBT community has been planning for a while now. Which perfectly explains all the crises that have been popping up in my world, in recent days. For, as you well know (because you are not a dumb person by any means) all your accusations wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell before judge and jury…because neither fact based nor provable, as well as prejudicial on two counts (declaring the dogs “violent,” and projecting Deek’s stupid drug habit onto these dear little pooches…and you do know all too well at this point, that they are very sweet and kind doggies, who NEVER bite, no matter what. Curtis in 405 can certainly vouch for that!

As for your accusation that I let them run from my hovel to the front gate: not true. I wait until we get to the bottom landing and make sure no one is in the lobby, or at the gate. Then, and only then, do I let them have their little run to the entranceway. And, during that brief time, should someone show up at the gate, I have plenty of seconds to spare, to pick up their leashes before the visitor even steps in. So, you may ease your mind about that. Which is the ONLY issue I care to clear up with you…the rest is childish nonsense. And I believe you intended it that way; not as something truly serious, but as a prank. For which reason I’ve typed this kind of missive, without a copy to the property owners. Since I have no interest in jeopardizing your position as manager, or dragging this into court and creating further animosity…although I’d certainly be justified in doing so, had I not the remarkable insight of Buddhist teachings (or what I like to call “The Bodhisattva Premise”).

But I do want to thank you for adding to the adventures I’m including in my forthcoming book, “Brindlekin Tales”…since this letter, along with yours, will appear in my latest chapter…as has the previous one in my “Letter to the Landlord” pieces. Of course, I’ve changed all real names and addresses to fake ones, before putting them out there. Especially hilarious is I call “Attacat Realty” “Ablahblah Realty!” And I also want to thank Myrtle and son for playing their role so well, that I become the hero of my tales. Thank them for me, if you care to: tell them “job well done.” In fact, for that very same reason: kudos to you, Attacat Realty, and anyone else who’s played a part in shaping me into the victor. I suspect that Larkin Kelsey wrote the script, but that’s a topic for another day. At any rate, my ultimate success is written in stone, and will accomplish incredible results for the LGBT community, both locally and worldwide.

Brindlekin Tales will always be free to read online, and it’s still a work in progress…35 chapters to date! There, you may read of my many adventures around the doggies, and the inspiration they give me…including Deek’s recent abduction, and your amazing letters. Again, the URL:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/brindlekin-tales/

Ah, finally, we have reached the end of my response. In closing, I hope you had a lovely day, and will have an equally lovely evening. Yours in the Incredible Flying Spaghetti Monster who sacrificed his meatballs, that we may all have a spectacular, eternal life in this pot of tangy sauce we call “life,”

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin
LGBT and homeless activist extraordinaire

–end


Re: How’s THIS for my rebuttal to the manager’s absurd accusations:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 12:44 AM

If you think he can handle it, then by all means slip it under his door. You know him. I just don’t want him to react in some sort of reflexive, hostile way.

Oh, is that all you’re worried about, Doctor Wattson? Easy peasy as far as THIS perplexed pilgrim is concerned. He’s ALREADY acting hostile, and inadvertently DOCUMENTING it, as well! I can surely handle it. After all, he’s already in deep doo-doo by making false allegations, and allowing another resident’s son’s teenage friends to loiter in the hallway, disrupting the peace, displaying intimidating behavior, AND not wearing any mask! With ME the most impacted by such a scenario, including potential EXPOSURE to covid-19. Any FURTHER hostility on Kevin’s part will only count in my favor.

You know what just occurred to me only moments ago?

HE HAS EARLY ONSET ALZHEIMER’S, or some other variation of senility. I’ve been noticing him these past few months, not looking so chipper any more, and going up and down the stairs with less ease than ever. Unfortunately, I’m his main target of his possibly growing delusions. Which CAN be dangerous, as some at this stage (but usually later) can actually turn VIOLENT. I hate to think of him barging into my SRO and attacking my dogs, when I’m not there. Or attacking ALL of us when I AM there! After all, HE HAS THE KEYS TO EVERYONE’S APARTMENT! HE MIGHT TRY TO TAKE THE PUPS AWAY WHEN I’VE STEPPED OUT FOR TEN OR SO MINUTES…MIGHT PAWN THEM OFF TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO’D WHISK THEM AWAY IN A CAR. OR HE COULD HALLUCINATE ANYTHING AWFUL ABOUT ME, AND CALL 911. I’ve BEEN through something like this before, with a neighbor suffering AIDS related dementia who suddenly turned on me with wicked force…after my many months of friendship with him. You know this all too well with your own dear mother, sad to say.

So NOW I’m thinking: I should send a different letter to Ablahblah Realty, withOUT also sending a duplicate to Kevin, telling them I’m concerned about his behavior in recent months. This is getting VERY bizarre, I must say! I am so SICK of this drama constantly being forced upon me, by this or that dunderhead denizen of the Castro. Jeez, I have crazy Deek outdoors (and Artemis only knows how many equally-insane allies) and crazy Kevin indoors (who may ALSO have his own minions)!

I think, at this point, I must remind myself:

THIS IS ONLY A GAME OF BODHISATTVAS, INSTILLING FEAR OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN, BUT NEVER WILL. I SHALL REMAIN PERFECTLY FINE AND UNHARMED; LIKEWISE FOR THE DOGGIES. JUST RIDE IT OUT, HAVE FUN WITH IT IF YOU SO CHOOSE. YOU’RE THE HERO, AFTER ALL.

BTW, I’ve recently been enjoying meditating on S. Rohan’s superb illustrations from my first novel. Especially that one depicting three cherubs gazing at me with Keane-eyed regard, one offering me a wad of filthy lucre…which enabled me to visit Randolph in D.C. It’s been a long while since I thought about her so much, and for the last three days I’ve kept those cherubs up on my notebook screen, so I could see it right along with my Internet activities on the large, external monitor. I actually think she’s reaching out to me! Couldn’t have happened at a better time, either…it gives me solace. I find her illustrations have only grown richer in time, as has my novel. FYI, her father had just died right around the time she started the illustrations…so there IS long suffering in her creations which, she told me once, helped her through this grief. You may even read a bit about that period in our association, here:

https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/760-down-the-tubes/

I’ve ALSO been listening to each and every one of Marshall’s narrations of my tales on his sterling radio show, “Memo of the Weird”…along with our badinage on nights I called in. What a treat to hear them with the passage of time! That was from March 2017 to January the following year. Forty-five outstanding recordings in all, which I’ve listened to over a span of three weeks! Too bad he doesn’t seem interested in resuming my calling in, as boy do I have stories to tell these days, eh, My Dear Wattson?

Your friend truly, as always,

Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.


Subject: We also have THIS to deal with:
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 1:22 PM

This notice was posted in the lobby six days ago:

It’s almost impossible to tell who doesn’t belong in the building, unless the person looks really raunchy. We have service and delivery people coming and going all day long, and into the night. Who knows who they really are? We who live here are already strangers to each other.


Subject: Running the gauntlet
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 10:55 PM

While I KNOW Kevin’s accusations wouldn’t pass muster in a court of law, I AM worried that he might declare having my dogs here an emergency, in order to have them removed. Then I would be charged an amount I couldn’t POSSIBLY afford, to get them back. Well, that’s just one of MANY worries I could obsess over, so I won’t.

But it DOES seem to me, that my email to him about the allegation of Myrtle and son being a lie (since the pups are ALWAYS in my sight, and that incident is therefore false, because I witnessed no such thing) was never forwarded to the property owners. It’s dumb of him to bring that up again, because I already made it very clear it didn’t occur, AND their complaint about it came immediately AFTER they read my grievance against them…which is highly suspicious. But, assuming Kevin did NOT show my rebuttal to Ablahblah Realty, then he COULD come off as believable by sending his most recent argument to them.

So it may be important for me to type out a serious counterargument and send it off to Ablablah. Which I really DON’T want to do, as I’d be making myself totally vulnerable to further investigation and potential harassment, of a highly “anti-Zeke” bias. (I am a long-term resident paying very low rent, so I’m sure they’d love to have a new tenant replace me.) However, my NOT speaking out at this time may be interpreted as “evidence” that favors the building manager. Another stupid thing about this scenario, is being forced to use old-time snail mail to get all this done…thus, I must keep dragging out my printer for each letter I need to send, which is a pain in the arse. Also, I must THEN send each rebuttal via certified mail, forcing me to bring the pups into “Deek” territory. I’d much prefer to work this all out via email. I think I’ll give one of these “type and mail” online businesses another shot, as there are likely others out there, besides the USPS’s own shoddy service. Furthermore:

My key witness regarding the loitering teenagers just moved out yesterday. That would be Daniyar and his partner, who lived right across the hallway from me. Dan told me they’re just moving four blocks away…however, I don’t know their address or phone number, nor do I know if they’d care to witness for me, by a statement to my still-nonexistent attorney. And he does NOT know about the manager’s demand to get rid of the pups. He LOVES both doggies, but we are basically strangers, so he may consider my informing him of these two, difficult issues a nuisance (as well as asking him for his phone number and new address). At any rate:

I step out this morning to walk the pooches, and who should be standing right outside the gate, but Myrtle Haversak. My brindlekin started barking as they often do in the morning when exiting the gate when someone is standing nearby (but it’s also their joy in stepping outside again). Wouldn’t you know it, but, once more, Flaco escaped from her collar and ran up to Ms. Haversak…upon which she ceased barking and just stood a few feet away, looking up at her with a wagging tail. Myrtle just faced away as if nothing we weren’t there, diddling with her smartphone. I said to Flaco:

“Come here, sweetheart, let’s get this leash back on.” And that was that. Turns out I had placed the collar on her one notch too loose, before we stepped out…so I corrected that before we moved on.

Then, strolling up Noe Street, this goofball comes jogging up the sidewalk, whence the pups started barking again. He’s kind of a crazy fellow who showed up in the neighborhood about a year ago…loves to run for exercise, and ALWAYS sports a rod, which he uses for his workout routine, though it DOES appear intimidating. He’s also loud and talks scary nonsense to himself (he does NOT carry a smartphone). For which reason I do my best to avoid the jerk. However, like so many other unwelcome situations, he seems to appear out of nowhere, making it too late for me to keep a distance. As he rushed on by, he exclaimed (about the dogs):

“Ha-ha, they don’t even LIKE me!”

Some people do that, when Flaco or Lucky barks at them…as if it were a personal thing, when in fact they are simply strangers acting erratically, sometimes wielding a stick, umbrella, or other item that appears to the dogs as potential weapons. They acquired that habit, of course, by being guardians for a homeless person. But they are getting better every day, at not being so reactive. Nonetheless, all they do is bark. They have never bitten anyone, nor ever will. Once in a blue moon, some idiot will come running up to the pups and get real close and start petting them, even though they’re barking up a storm, with hackles raised. This, in spite of the fact I never gave them permission to approach the dogs, and they never even asked! Nonetheless, they did not bite.

Several weeks back, some fellow began to approach us, so I moved the dogs and myself away promptly, but he persisted, said:

“It’s alright, I know them,” and began forcing a petting hand upon their heads, despite their aggressive barks. Again, they did not bite. The guy is homeless, I think, and knows Deek, thus also knows the dogs. Don’t these pin-heads realize you do NOT approach someone’s dog without first getting the owner’s permission? About two weeks after that incident, he showed up again, out of nowhere, right when I was hitching up the pups before entering a health food store to see what kinds of bread they have. This was two blocks up a hill on Castro Street…an area where it is unusual to encounter Deek’s associates, let alone ANY houseless denizen! Because, as you may or may not know, they prefer to populate flat areas, due to the difficulty of climbing hills with their hefty possessions. Not that this particular guy had any possessions at the moment, but you get my drift.

Another time, just several days ago, I parked the doggies outside of Duboce Food & Liquor, by tying them up to the corner signpost. As I brought the items to the counter, I heard the dogs barking, so I looked out to see a woman with a dog on a leash, and one small child in tow. She was allowing her dog to sniff my own pups, but pulled it away when they wouldn’t stop barking. I almost ran out there to confront her by saying,

“Please don’t do that, you don’t have my permission!” But I didn’t.

Instead, I declared to Morley: “They’re not supposed to do that, what’s wrong with them?”

He replied, “They’ll be sorry if they tear up their dog! After all, they’re in the wrong, as you have them tied up and leashed.”

So I said, “Oh, no I don’t want that to happen, anyway. It would be miserable and probably very expensive, if they’re dog bit mine!”

“I understand,” he replied. “They really should know better, just by seeing their hackles were raised.”

So, my reflection on this morning’s brief-but-unwelcome encounter with Myrtle: she saw how harmless my dogs really are. Not that that will change her mind any, but it’s another feather in my own cap. The dogs had a good, healthy poop, and we walked about for awhile longer before returning hovel. When we did, two workmen were fussing with the ongoing elevator replacement, installing beams and adjusting whatever (gears and pulleys and such). The dogs, of course, started barking at them…though not as vociferously as in previous encounters. They are actually charmed by the pooches, and one worker crouched down to extend a hand, and asked, “Do they bite?”

I said no, they don’t.

“Are you sure?” he persisted.

“Yes, but I’m not expecting you to test that out. If they were off their leashes, they’d just run up to you and keep barking from a distance.”

Now I presume that the building manager has probably gotten to the workers, and told them his false complaint about Myrtle’s son being bitten. IOW, he’s trying to drum up new allies for his wicked machinations. So now what: I’m going to have to tell the workers my side of the story? This is absurd.

So, anyway, just another typical day of my running the gauntlet with the doggies, among neighborhood folks, some of whom are nasty troglodytes. But my main concern in this missive, is whether or not to proceed with sending a letter in my defense TO Ablahblah Realty, whether or not to deliver my humorous screed to the building manager (the one you just read yesterday), or to just do nothing and see how this ugly situation plays out further. Seems to me that timing is of the essence, in order to keep the brindlekin with me. But, my dear Wattson, I am clueless as to which path I should take, regarding both timing and content of my rebuttal. Your continued insight in this matter is MOST appreciated. I still do NOT have an attorney, which may or may not be a good thing.

Yours as always,

Z. Krahlin-Holmes


Subject: Yet another email post to attorney Kingsley
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 11:05 PM

Just sent it out a few moments ago, via his contact page. Here it is:

I REALLY NEED AN ATTORNEY! In addition to my grievance against the building manager allowing a resident’s several guests to loiter in the hallway and be a nuisance, and not wearing any mask during this pandemic (which post you’ve received some time ago, but have never gotten back to me)…the manager is now retaliating by making false allegations about the two little doggies I adopted some months back. Here is the absurd letter he sent me, which I received just two days ago:

[Link to absurd letter, same as the one above, but with names and addresses not blacked out.]

This goes back to the nuisance neighbor in question, who told the manager one of my dogs bit her son and drew blood…RIGHT AFTER they received my complaint about the loiterers, which makes their complaint highly suspicious. Furthermore, I do NOT let the dogs out of my sight, and there was NEVER any confrontation between my pups and them. Besides which, they may bark, but they have never bitten anyone. Here’s the accusation:

[Link to the accusation, but with names and addresses not blacked out. That letter is featured in chapter 26, “Letter to the Landlord (part 2).]

The immature style of his complaint, as well as totally false accusations, reflect extreme bias and needless hostility…very much not in the line of how ANY building manager should behave. I am wondering if he is suffering from a form of dementia, as his words certainly suggest someone who’s disturbed, and decided to target me. So PLEASE GET BACK TO ME, I really have nowhere else to go, as you were recommended to me by the SF Tenant’s Union. If I contact them again, I’m afraid they’ll refer me to you again, anyway, or another attorney who fails to respond. Thank you for your attention.


Re: Yet another email post to attorney Kingsley
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: February 17, 2021 1:50 PM

It’s a great letter. Hope to hell he responds.

Besides which, it’s an EASY case to win…or, more accurately: TWO easy cases to win. Now, as I mentioned in an earlier post (maybe a week or so ago), the bodhisattva spin on this, may be that they are setting themselves up to LOSE, that I may collect a substantial amount of money for my GoFundMe account. Not is all as it seems! A possible hint in this direction, is the rapid timing between Deek’s abduction attempt, and the building manager’s pathetic accusations and demand to remove the brindlekin. Hint being that the timing seems SO contrived. As well as my being put into the impossible position of risking going HOMELESS for the sake of defending these lovely pups. For the bodhisattva tenet is: “No matter how impossible your goal seems, if it is a noble one, just stand your ground at all times, and you SHALL eventually succeed.” In my case, it’s an especially PAINFUL test, as I truly have nowhere else to go…and I don’t want to lose them, nor they, me.

  • Zeke

PS: I am now putting together my next chapter, called “Pups Stolen & Returned, Building Manager Wants the Dogs Out!” Ending with this email right here…or maybe just one more piece that I started right when Kevin smacked me with his hateful letter, which I STILL haven’t gotten around to finishing, thanks to his nasty intrustion. Obviously, this absurd saga will likely spill over into one or more additional chapters. And Artemis only knows what OTHER horrific challenges shall be flung my way, on top of THIS one! Hopefully, no more. The pups, meanwhile, are as quiet and content as can be, loving these cushy sleeping bags as they laze away, Lucky on his back and snoozing with his front paws folded down and a bit of his pearly whites showing through doggy lips…spoiled rotten!

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