[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 3: Chapter 5]
Subject: How LITTLE people actually care about LGBT rights!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 10, 2021 12:46 PM
My Amazon account is set up to donate a small percentage of my expenses to the Rainbow World Fund, which seems to be the ONLY pro-sexual-minority charity on their list. They just sent me an update of how much I’ve donated, to date. But further down the email, you’ll see the TOTAL amount contributed to the Rainbow World Fund by ALL Amazon shoppers: a disgustingly meager amount:
–begin
Subject: Your selected charity received a $43.46 donation from AmazonSmile
From: Amazon.com <store-news@amazon.com>
To: Ezekiel Krahlin
Date: March 10, 2021 7:10 AM
There’s no extra cost to support your charity by shopping with AmazonSmile.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
AmazonSmile
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
This is the quarterly notification to inform you that AmazonSmile has made a charitable donation to the charity you’ve selected, Rainbow World Fund, in the amount of $43.46 as a result of qualifying purchases made by you and other customers who have selected this charity.
Thanks to customers shopping at smile.amazon.com, or with AmazonSmile ON in the Amazon Shopping app, everyday purchases have generated over $266 million in donations to charities worldwide so far.
AmazonSmile’s impact:
$460.14 to Rainbow World Fund*
$241,928,506.19 to all charities in the US
$266,896,659.48 to all charities worldwide
To track donations or change your charity, simply visit Your AmazonSmile Impact page.
–end
Re: How LITTLE people actually care about LGBT rights!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 10, 2021 3:10 PM
> I know. It’s appalling, but not at all surprising. And the situation for LGBT people is deteriorating here and around the world. This particular form of hateful bigotry is the “last bastion.”
Definitely NOT surprising, though MANY liberals in the advanced nations keep spouting otherwise. For example: Australia is touted as being a VERY gay friendly nation, including by LGBT media. But that’s only gauging friendliness based on downtown Sydney! I’ve challenged Aussies about this in various discussions, and they ALL insist that I’m wrong, that even cities like Perth, Darwin and Alice Springs are QUITE accepting. This is sheer balderdash. Australia remains a very redneck country, as does America. IT’S A BIG COVERUP!
And for that reason, I regard suppression of how badly persecuted we are, as one of the TRUE conspiracy theories. As for being the “last bastion:” ALSO true. And I’ve pointed out COUNTLESS times across the web, how homophobia remains a powerful undercurrent in EVERY society. Which then bubbles over into all OTHER progressive issues, and sabotages their ability to make significant advances…even on matters regarding civil rights of other minorities, and on matters BEYOND the human condition, and into animal and ecological causes. For it hobbles the ability to exercise the full ability of our compassion, which is requisite to ALL worthy struggles. For, if brotherly love itself cannot be expressed in all its facets, then neither can our concerned outreach to ALL matters, whether political, social, religious, ecological, or anything else! Or IOW:
The human race will DESTROY itself over one issue alone: LGBT equality. I have said many times, that liberation of sexual minorities is KEY to ending violence, including war. For in so liberating us, true compassion will unfurl across EVERY issue that threatens our existence, our well-being, and the world at large. But I have, long ago, exhausted all the points to be made, regarding the vital role gay equality plays in the human condition. My copious writings on this matter are out there, spread through cyberspace like the air is spread over the earth. I’d be pounding my head against the wall, at this point, if I persisted in coming up with even MORE ways to get my message across.
For I have planted the seeds well over a decade ago…so many, in fact, they are GUARANTEED to sprout, no matter the obstacles, or odds stacked against them…the storms and other devastations that threaten to choke them at their first emergence from the soil of history. I am just ahead of the curve.
Because the tilling comes before the harvesting. And I am the tiller. And soon shall sprout my plants, and the culling that comes shortly after.
But it is Flaco & Lucky that now come first in my world. For their boundless love has transformed me, taken me through the final step into personal liberation. They are TRUE angels. And they are MY angels. And that is why I know they shall return.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: Brindlekin Tales is Now a Trinity!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattsonhttp://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2021A/trinity-celtic.jpg
Date: March 10, 2021 8:20 PM
While looking over best practice for turning my tales into ebooks, I realized that Book 1 is way too long to be practical: 37 chapters in all! I really wanted the first book to end in tragedy, as readers will then clamor for more. (Not that I ever PLANNED it that way, Sibylla forbid; I’m just thinking with the benefit of hindsight.) So the final chapter of Book 1 is now chapter 19: “The Doggies are Now Mine!” It leaves many questions up in the air, especially Deek’s behavior during the recording of our verbal contract. So of course the reader is gonna think that danger may be lurking around the corner, beyond that closing scenario.
So I just completed splitting Book 1 into TWO books, and turned the original Book 2 into number 3: A TRINITY! Particularly apropos, when you consider the Catholic imagery that seems to have infused my creative urge…such as mention of St. Rocco, the patron saint of dogs. Other nods to Catholicism are my “Brindlekin Prayer Cards,” “Stations of the Leash” and “Puppy Dolorosa.” (And of course, so many references to angels.) Now I did not inTENtionally choose to make Catholic themes a significant aspect of my tales…but that is where my muses have taken me. Albeit with numerous allusions to glorious fables out of Greek Mythology and Buddhism. As well as SOME elements of Native American and Celtic lore.
Nonetheless, I find this “Catholicizing” of my tales MOST curious. And now, the two books have morphed into a trinity! What next: “Deek, Zeke and the Holy Pups?”
This will certainly appeal to MANY of the Catholic faith, as well as Christians in general…thus, a bigger fan base! By Jove (pun intended), I do believe mine angels doth guide me at the quill!
Of course, my plan discussed in Book 1, to compose a SECOND book that liberates me from the tragic ending of the first, goes right out the window! However, that makes for an intriguing and NEW facet of these tales: that the reader get a tad confused until they come across THIS missive in, I guess, what will become a part of chapter 4 of Book 3. Or, perhaps even a LATER chapter…I just don’t know right now, as I already have four more chapters in the works!
Just looking at the profit angle, certainly having TWO books on the front burner RIGHT NOW, will prove to be extra lucrative. However, my purpose never has been, nor ever WILL be, to devise my stories with financial gain the motive. But I DO see how things are falling into place in THAT department, too…solely by the wondrous hand of The Great Spirit!
– Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.
Re: How LITTLE people actually care about LGBT rights! ADDENDUM
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 10, 2021 8:58 PM
> I’m awaiting word that they’ve come back to you!
You’ll certainly be the first to know. Aren’t you always? We have become SUCH good friends, but have yet to meet in person. Well, THAT’S one for the books, ain’t it, Wattson? The Brindlekin Books that is! What is the first thing you’re gonna do with your first million that comes rolling in, for being one of the TRUE heroes in my novels?
The many scenarios that have played out since I acquired the pups, have been so poetically executed, like the finest Shakesperean sonnets, such that this cannot POSSIBLY be mere happenstance. Even Deek’s surprise abduction attempt, and then his reacquisition of the doggies a week later, is in perfect rhythm to some lyrical script composed by angelic authors. And thus, why I give serious conjecture to him ALSO being an angel…along with Arwyn and Randolph.
You are the ONLY person on the planet who’s been witness to all my miraculous events for close to twenty years. For which I am immeasurably grateful, as I am not so alone in this. But ALSO for which reason I am highly suspect YOU of being an angel yourself!
They say that only time will tell…but then, there’s this little birdie often perched on my shoulder who twitters curious factoids in my ear. Her moniker is Pterry the Second (since she was the second to hatch in Pterry Pterodactyl’s prehistoric love nest; there are fourteen others, likewise numerically named).
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: How LITTLE people actually care about LGBT rights! ADDENDUM
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 10, 2021 10:08 PM
> We will, I have no doubt.
What a great day THAT will be!
> Going to have to think about that. Shoring myself up for old age would come first. I’m scared of being old and broke. Then I’d help people and animals to the best of my ability. I’ve been doing that with very limited money for years anyway. With lots of money, I can do more.
Sounds like an excellent plan for the current timeline and place we’re still in. But not to worry: you will number among the very first to partake of the “Youth Rejuvenator & Immortality Nasal Spray (TM by Zeke)” that I talked about in my Misfortune Cookie tale! I’m guessing virologists will stumble upon it while developing ever more effective vaccines for COVID-19.
> If I am, I don’t know it…
That’s what they all say.
> Aw. I remember Pterry and all the little Pterrys…
I even had an Aunt Terry in my life, and boy was SHE a nasty old bird!
> I just finished watching the six videos. Am astounded at the quality!!!
Ah, yes, my “Post-Doggies Morning Ritual” piece. Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for taking some of your precious time to watch! Flaco & Lucky have been SUCH incredible inspiration for me, that I continue to march forward with my literary exploits, their joyful spirits at my side, until they return in the furry flesh. You might also enjoy my “radiator leak” video taken with those spyglasses. Just go to this blog entry, jump to the bottom, and you’ll find the “bonus” video, which I only added yesterday:
https://zekeblog.wordpress.com/2021/01/28/this-is-my-room-god-help-me/
It’s 4-1/2 minutes of sheer, colorful boredom…which is what makes it so funny. On another note (though related):
I’ve already told you my plan to post reviews of many Amazon products I’ve purchased, under my REAL name instead of my “Zebra Ghost” pseudonym…seeing as, once my fame blossoms, my 5-star reviews will make those lucky businesses take off like a rocket! And merchants will BEG me to promote their products, with handsome offers that will be hard to resist. So today I reviewed a kids sleeping bag, and said:
Heading: Durable, warm, lovely sleeping bag!
Review: To be honest, I bought several kids sleeping bags for my two, sweet doggies, Lucky & Flaco. They LOVE their fluffy! So much fun to watch them arrange the sleeping bags, fussing here and fussing there, gripping parts with their teeth to move it around and get it just so. They enjoy creating comfy, little “caves” with them, which they slip into and peer out at the world.
And included this adorable video with my review, because it features the sleeping bags:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ynqkw8iE71w
I figure that, by charming and entertaining folks via my reviews, I can garner more attention. Imagine when I start to become famous, those folks who’ve seen one of my reviews will be bowled over, and go to my Amazon book page, and purchase one of my novels! Whenever appropriate, I take the opportunity to mention my 2 pups and their names (especially re. dog food and item purchases). This is MY clever way of turning my reviews into my OWN kind of advertising! Amazon provides me with a HUGE list of items I’ve already bought, offered up for review. A year or so ago I bought a whole SLEW of freeze dried vegetables and fruit, thinking to save money on food, but I did NOT like any…they were disgusting! I won’t tell them that, though…I’ll post a sterling review for each one, finding some way to include mention of the brindlekin! Who gives a fuck about honesty, when the lives of two, sweet pups are at stake, and I need all the help I can get?
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: Mad Magazine’s Unexpected, Possible Influence on My Writing Style
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 11, 2021 10:32 AM
In the fashion of email missives using plain text only, some people have adapted by capitalizing certain words for emphasis, rather than embedding italic code or bold type. OR by preceding or enclosing such words with a special character, such as an asterisk or the forward slash. At least, the “purists” among us who’ve been active online since the good ol’ days of BBSing, are the ones who retain this basic “ASCII only” habit. Seeing as coding in emails can get lost in translation, as well as hide hacker exploits (by injecting their OWN code into the mix) with the recipient a hapless victim of identity theft or worse.
AND THIS DANGER STILL PREVAILS, yet your average netizen stubbornly refuses to use text-only emails! In fact, they can be so arrogant when informed otherwise, as to deride you for trying to educate them in this matter. AFAIC, there should be a law that strictly forbids sending non-text emails to anyone. And if one needs to share a word-processed, “spreadsheeted” or other sophisticated document, that could be arranged via some DISTINCTIVE form of digital transfer. Maybe call it the “Coded Email Format,” to distinguish it from the text version…wrapping it in a secure cloak of protection.
So I sanely stick with pure ASCII emails, preferring capitalization to emphasize some words, as opposed to marking them with an asterisk or forward slash…which I USED to do, and which you may see in some of my earliest blog entries. But since so much of my tales were first composed via email (mostly addressed to your own fortunate self, Wattson), I have come to use uppercase exclusively, to highlight words to simulate vocal stress…as it looks CLEANER than the alternatives. I even have no qualms about PUBLISHING my works in that manner (IF, and only if, they are legitimate email passages) instead of going back to change capitalized words into italics. Nor, for that matter, do I shrink from using common email and texting acronyms in my tales, when (and only when) the excerpts themselves convey emailed conversation.
But it has also occurred to me, that perhaps my pleasure in capitalizing words and syllables for emphasis, arises from my first exposure to this style, by reading Mad Magazine as a kid! It seems SO much more effective than using the milquetoast equivalent of italics. The use of capitalization to replace italics hails back to at LEAST the 19th century, I have just learned by a quick search of the question “when did publications first start using uppercase in lieu of italics for emphasis,” which resulted in THIS article third from the top:
Though I disagree that it always means shouting, but rather is often used for literarily informal emphasis, such as in comic books, which is how Mad first started out, but morphed into a magazine in order to bypass the new censorship laws during the McCarthy Era. Which is what I do: write for THE PEOPLE, rather then the privileged minority…just as Mad Magazine does. I’ve written my OWN paean to Mad back in 2004, called “Kudos, Mad!”
Nonetheless, whether or not my preference for capitalizing over italicizing is subconsciously influenced by that seminal periodical of Jewish-American humor, I choose NOT to be overly concerned about it. Or as Alfred E. Neuman puts it:
“What, me worry?”
Yours in jocularity,
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: Mad Magazine’s Unexpected, Possible Influence on My Writing Style
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 11, 2021 12:39 PM
> MAD Magazine was one of THE most important seminal influences in my formative years! Sassy, irreverent, smart-alec, and SO intelligent and funny. Urban Jewish wit in the tradition of the Marx Bros. Sprinkled with Yiddish. No respect for authorit-eye!! Fabulous satire.
One of my fondest childhood memories, of which there are few…is that magazine.
> Remember their sendup of Reader’s Digest Condensed Books? GONE WITH THE WIN reduced to one page.
Sorry, that one eludes me, and I can’t find any reference to it on the ‘net. My mom subscribed to Reader’s Digest, which I sometimes read, but not much and not often. A terrible publication, just begging to be mocked. But not QUITE as bad as “The American Legion Magazine” that my dad favored. By Ganymede-Catamitus, my childhood was lackluster!
Subject: PROOF THEY’RE NOT WEARING MASKS!!!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 11, 2021 1:37 PM
EVIDENCE OF ADISA & FRIENDS NOT WEARING MASKS
http://www.gay-bible.org/blogstuff/2021A/trinity-not-wearing-masks.mp4
What kind of parents do they have? They could easily contract COVID-19 from their offspring spreaders. Something VERY wrong is going on here, including the building manager’s refusal to do anything about it. AND, they DO act like punks. So much for his mother Myrtle’s “innocent” act. Falsely accusing one of my doggies of biting Adisa is about as low as one could get. Over the years, I’m sure that he will lose ANY respect for his mom, for getting him to participate in a hideous lie, towards an innocent person who is being VICTIMIZED by not only them, but by his teenage lackeys who continue to loiter right outside my door, AND by the building manager himself.
These people are insane, and dangerously so. But I REFUSE to be intimidated…I WILL step out of my room next time I hear their offensive banter. I also predict:
Myrtle will come down WITH the virus, and perhaps perish. OR:
They are simply, and intentionally, playing the enemy to my hero…a bodhisattva plot, so to speak, affording me opportunities to fulfill that scenario. And I HOPE that’s all there is to it, honestly. After all, they LEFT the hallway shortly before I worked up the gumption to step out with my spyglasses. And just moments ago, made themselves CLEARLY available to my camera’s eye by hanging out just below my window, withOUT masks. Could they make it any easier for me to gather up the evidence against them? I don’t think so. Oh, get this (the thought just struck me):
The spyglass camera is situated right at the point of one’s metaphysical third eye.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: Mad Magazine’s Unexpected, Possible Influence on My Writing Style
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 11, 2021 9:31 PM
> It was hilarious, and spot-on.
Darn, I’d love to see that piece! Wait-a-minute, I DID purchase all the back issues on a DVD, some years ago. Do you remember? Now, all’s I gotta do is FIND the damned discs! Then again, I just found that DVD collection on Pirate Bay, so downloading now. 7 GB, and not many seeders, so it will take just under 4 hours. But hey: what, me worry? Then MAYBE I can find that Reader’s Digest parody, if they have a useful search function.
> Yet you busted out of that grayish larval stage with a set of brilliantly-colored wings!
And I’ve been sipping on nectar ever since…you know, the gay kind. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination, ’cause I’m a modest kinda Lepidoptera. :)
Subject: Is this tacky or what?
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 12, 2021 9:11 AM
Since I don’t have cell service, the exterminator will leave a notice on my door as to what time I can step back in. Until today, it’s always been in the form of a discretely folded up note stuck to my door. But this time around, it was not. See for yourself:
For all the world to see! More residents pass by MY door than any other unit. Thanks for nothing, Mr. Exterminator…what the hell’s wrong with you?
Oh, and regarding those scratch marks to the right of the lower part of the sign: someone (I don’t know who, but have an idea) caved the word “Fag” in it while I was gone. This was some time in the late 90s. I asked the manager to patch that up, but he totally ignored me, so it’s been there ever since. Bad enough, but what happened next really takes the cake:
When I came hovel to discover those scratches, my lesbian neighbor, across the hallway strolled by. So I called to her, and was about to ask if she’s seen anyone standing around my door today. But before I could get any more words out after uttering her name (Marta), she turned to me with a flushed face, said, “DON’T talk to me!”
I had no idea what was going on, I thought we were on somewhat friendly terms! About two days later the then-manager, Ruth, told me she’s received complaints about my blasting the TV really loud, late at night. This was weird, because I NEVER play ANYthing loud…it’s just not my style. And I’m across the hallway, not next door or right above; so surely if that were true, OTHER residents would likewise complain!
I asked who it was, and she said the same name as my lesbian neighbor with the crimson face: Marta. Well, it took a whole three weeks before I put two and two together. Because Ruth never bothered to check it out herself. She could’ve told Marta to phone her next time it happens, and she’ll rush right down to see for herself. No one likes being dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, but she’d only have to do this ONCE. Besides which, she IS the manager.
A tall, lanky black dude shared the light-well with that lesbian, and had his TV on REALLY loud, most every night…but for some reason she thought it was coming from MY room instead. (Though I never heard it myself, this is what I came to learn.) But THAT doesn’t make sense, because it seems that WHO the culprit really is would be so easy to discover, if not downright OBVIOUS. Anyway, that dude finally moved on, thank god…he was a scary one, angry all the time and slamming his door like an earth-shaking clap of thunder.
Red-faced Marta exited, too, several months later. Without EVER apologizing to me about her rude faux pas. And while still manager, Ruth perished quickly from some kind of brain cancer. Don’t these people ever learn that what goes around truly DOES come around? In fact, it’s just these kinds of dunderheads who LOVE quoting that phrase frequently, to everyone within earshot! Without even WARNING anyone that they intend to demonstrate the truth of that statement, by making themselves the guinea pig.
Anyway, I decided to lay down a clean plastic tarp beneath the cot, since Flaco loves to sneak under it and peek out. She loves her little secret spaces! But the floor is dirty, and I did not like her lying down in the dust and grime. This time around, however, she can have her fun, and I will feel at ease about it.
THE CLUES ARE ALL IN THE TIMING
This realization stuck me moments ago. Just as it was with Arwyn, such as on my 65th birthday I wished to share one of my original bon mots with him. The itch struck me while in another part of the city: I had a sudden urge to return to the Castro, as a little birdie told me he’d materialize, just so I could have that wish fulfilled. And sure enough, that’s exactly what happened…he showed up by approaching from behind, and walking by and ahead of me. Which provided me that PERFECT opportunity. And which scenario was described in my tale composed soon after, called “Birthday Magic:”
http://gay-bible.org/truetales/Z_birthday1.htm
And that is but ONE example, dear Wattson, among MANY where Arwyn displayed a remarkable ability to appear just at the right time for such sweet moments to play out. Which you are WELL aware of, by the reading OF them. In the Brindlekin cycle there are, for examples:
– the timing of my almost running into Deek RIGHT AT THE END OF MY FIRST NIGHT RECORDING MY PUPPY DOLOROSA stroll. I had already done my devotional walk twice before, withOUT my spyglasses, because I had yet to purchase them. But what better way to end my first documented stroll with that little twist? Also:
– The timing of the building manager demanding I remove the pups, and consequential abduction OF them by Deek just days later. Though I got them back for a short time, I nonetheless was forced to give them up. IT WAS YOUR CLASSIC GOOD COP/BAD COP ruse!
– The timing of not one, but BOTH pooches suddenly released from their collars, right when Deek ambushed me, and absconded with the mutts.
– The timing of the hallway loiterers, for they had disappeared RIGHT BEFORE I worked up the gumption to step out my door and film them.
– The timing of my phone line going down just days before I needed to call the police…as if to create yet one more tense-filled scenario among many, in my tales.
– The timing of Flaco escaping her leash right when Myrtle was standing outside…as if to affirm the pups are completely harmless and friendly. A small victory on my behalf.
– The timing of Kevin’s encounter with the dogs in the lobby (just a week before he turned nasty), that were caught on the building’s camera…which gave ABSOLUTE proof that neither dog is a biter.
When you add these examples up (among others not mentioned herein), you’ll realize how PERFECTLY ORCHESTRATED is this string of adventures. Timed so as to include many cliffhanging passages scattered throughout my book. YOU JUST CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP! Well, some authors do, but I have The Greatest Author of Them All working for me.
On that note, good physician, I’ll bid you adieu, as I’m ready to step out for my Rosenberg coffee delight…and, I guess, whatever NEW twists in my brindlekin escapades that pop up like Whack-A-Moles, and which I am utterly incapable of either preventing, or avoiding.
– Zeke K-Holmes
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