[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 3: Chapter 8]
Subject: Can you imagine what my future readers will think at this point…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 17, 2021 11:34 AM
…of this chapter in Book 3, as they read THIS missive? They’ve read through books 1 & 2 (which ended in tragedy), thus are saddened and most anxious for myself and the dogs…and perhaps, for Deek. Most will believe the odds are stacked WAY against me, thus no hope and no happy ending. But some will hang in there, and keep their fingers crossed and hearts a-yearning: hope against all hope rings like a sweet bell across the valley of their bosoms. While a miniscule SUBSET are absolutely sure, as I am, that the pups shall come back into my world. But WHICH chapter will announce that glorious miracle? Even yours truly does NOT know that…but I know in my heart of hearts, my bone of bones, my faith of faiths, that they WILL return. And in good health, good mood…with Deek also greatly improved. Now, about my “banana smoothie” video, good physician:
Starting at 5 minutes, 17 seconds and ending 5 seconds later, within that brief time slot you’ll glimpse some hot gay magazine images I pasted to the back wall of my loft many years ago…one of them featuring a smooth, firm butt. But they’re all blurry and way easy to miss. For the enticing blip is barely one tenth of a second in passing, as I swing around towards my desk with blender jar in hand. I wasn’t even THINKING about those images when I filmed the video; it just turned out to be an unanticipated blessing. I made it easy for you to check it out, by snipping that part as a 16-second clip which I call “subliminal gay advertising at its most superb:”
Yours most truly,
-Zeke K. Holmes
Subject: THREE HOURS TILL YOUR MIND WILL BE TOTALLY BLOWN!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 17, 2021 8:23 PM
Were uploading a video not so painstakingly slow, you wouldn’t have to wait so long, Wattson. But I implore you that, when the link arrives at your door, DO PUT EVERYTHING DOWN AND WATCH IT! It is VERY important. It is a joyful video, so not to worry. And, it’s just 5.5 minutes long. PATIENCE, MY GOOD FRIEND OF ALL WORLDS, TIME & SPACE!
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: HERE’S THAT SPECIAL VIDEO…please watch ASAP
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 17, 2021 11:19 PM
Okay, here’s the FULL video (18 minutes), instead of just the first part. DO NOT (I repeat, DO NOT) read the description until AFTER you watch the video. It would be a spoiler if you do. You are the FIRST to see it, because you fully deserve the honor, Dr. Wattson.
– Zeke K-Holmes
DESCRIPTION OF THE ABOVE VIDEO:
From my faith has sprouted the miracle. Enjoy this jubilant video as Deek, the doggies and yours truly are reunited…this time on a much better plane of brotherly coexistence. And praise the bodhisattvas, my guardian angels (who are wise beyond all comprehension), for making this come about…heck, for creating this entire Brindlekin Tales adventure! Book 3 will continue for 5 or more chapters, that my readers can partake in the glorious outcome, like basking in a meadow of clover, beneath the newborn sun on a cool summer morn.
Subject: GoFundMe Headache
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: GoFundMe Support
Date: March 18, 2021 11:01 AM
I froze my GoFundMe account around three weeks ago, and today I tried to reactivate it. But I couldn’t access my account, even though I’m using the correct login name and password. So I clicked on “reset password,” but no email was sent so I couldn’t do that. I tried it three times, and the problem persists. I couldn’t contact you for help, because I couldn’t log in! This is my account:
https://www.gofundme.com/help-me-help-2-homeless-doggies
So I decided to create a new account, which allows me to contact your support team. But now I can’t set up withdrawal, because the 8-digit password code takes too long to arrive in my voicemail. (I only have a DSL land line, no cell service…but it worked before, with my original account.) I kept trying, but all I got was a voicemail from my bank, saying they’ve attempted three times to send me that code…so I can no longer set up withdrawal. Because the three times I keyed in the code, GoFundMe rejected it; I guess because it took too long to receive the code through my voicemail service. HELP! Here is my new account:
https://www.gofundme.com/help-me-help-two-homeless-doggies
Re: [MCN-Announce]- A Miracle on Market Street (pups have returned) [my latest youtube video]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Lisa Harwood
Date: March 18, 2021 3:54 PM
> So very happy for you Zeke . . . your video vérité’ are precious; you are also a very a skillful writer. –lisa harwood
Thank you immensely, Lisa! I consider my creative output to be in service to all humanity…and canines, of course. IOW I take very little credit for results that even astonish me. Wishing you and loved ones an excellent and long and happy life.
Re: [MCN-Announce]- A Miracle on Market Street {pups have returned) [my latest youtube video]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 18, 2021 4:41 PM
> WOW!! How long do you have them for??
Just overnight, he picked them up in the morning. But it’s a breakthrough. It started raining about a half hour after they departed. Three hours later, he returned to have me shelter the pups…they were soaking wet! They were eager to get inside, and pulled me all the way hovel just on the propeller of their waggy tails alone! So I got them all dried and settled in when, barely an hour later, Deek showed up again, demanding I bring them back down. He was angry, accused me being fucked up, that I don’t really believe in God ’cause Buddha’s not god, insisted I already got my $1,400 stimulus check and am just stringing him out, blah blah blah. I replied that he’s his own worst enemy, a scammer and a drama queen, and he’s hurting the pups by putting them in the middle of all this. I said I don’t wanna hear his crap, I’ve been a really good friend to him, and he retorted, “Oh? You should talk, you’re a loser and a liar!”
Well, not in those words, I just condensed the whole rant. So he just huffed on, marching away with his cruddy shopping cart and the two doggies, and I stepped back inside. IT’S ALL AN ACT, Wattson! Notice how the timing of the pups’ initial removal from my life was before the bedbug treatment, and their return shortly after? Hmm, I didn’t keep you updated about the damned bugs, but that’s exactly how it went down. But my point is this:
While the bodhisattvas are giving me a hard time (as my initiation into reptilian rapture) FORCING me to have to deal with both the extermination visit AND the pooches, would be a step too far. We’d have to be OUTDOORS for five difficult hours, come rain or come shine or possible harassment by one of Deek’s lackeys, or anything ELSE that may come our way in this loony bin of a loony burg. For in sharpening my will and emotional balance, my guardians remain COMPASSIONATE, not sadistic.
This is all scripted. They showed me my prayers answered…but then turned around and pulled the carpet from under my feet. This is JUST a test of my spirit, of not allowing worry to wreck my world, to imagine those little mutts out in the cold like this. (They’re not, they’re in someone’s comfy abode, along with Deek…who, might I remind you, is a bodhisattva himself. A SUPERB actor, I should add.)
AND a test of my ego, for in showing my readers actual PROOF of a miracle born directly out of faith (in my desire to give them inspiration and hope in their OWN difficult lives)…only to have it summarily obliterated, COULD be a most humiliating, eating-crow kinda thing for me, if I allow negative feelings to sink in. Thus, this latest incident can only mean one thing:
I am VERY close to liberation…to my success taking off, and fantastic opportunities hurtling in my direction. And all this plus Flaco & Lucky back with me FOR GOOD, next time around. They’re making me the hero, playing their own villainous roles to quicken my faith and positivity. But the truly ASTONISHING thing about his return with the brindlekin, is I had just posted you a letter about what my future readers would think at this point (when will the pups return home, if ever). THE SAME FRIGGIN DAY I WROTE ABOUT IT, saying it would be NO later than April 30th, though could happen sooner. And, voilà, it DID happen sooner!
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: Yes, he’s dead.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 18, 2021 7:23 PM
My nasty neighbor with whom I had to share a restroom for 16 years, is definitely dead. A flimsy sheet of paper in his memory taped in the hallway, that will be gone in two days, is more than he deserves.
Re: Yes, he’s dead.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 18, 2021 8:08 PM
> Kinda pitiful…
Meh. Good riddance. I’m just biding my time for the other three to drop. This building is a house of horrors. Have you watched my “raisin bread” video, yet? Just 3.5 minutes, and one of the funniest pieces I’ve ever done.
ODE TO A DOGGY’S PAW
By Ezekiel J. Krahlin
The sweetness of a doggy’s paw
That touches you at night,
Says everything you need to know
Of goodness, love and light.
The silver tufts between those pads,
Those nails that click the floor,
That touch upon your knee so kind:
Need I really ask for more?
The fluffing up the blankets
To make the nest just so,
The twitching of those little feet
In dreams I’ll never know,
The lying on his back
With paws like drooping figs,
The squirming for that belly rub,
Those silly, happy jigs,
The sweetness of his touch imparts
A friendly wish to be
Always happy, always here,
And always close to me.
Re: Can you imagine what my future readers will think at this point…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 18, 2021 10:11 PM
> I see an image for a fraction of a second, looks like a human figure, possibly nekkid, but all blurry!
If you stop it at the right frame, you can make it out. Or make out with it, if you prefer!
> BTW, that banana smoothie looks divine.
A profound implication. If the Buddha slips on a banana peel, make lemonade.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: GoFundMe Headache
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: GoFundMe Support
Date: March 19, 2021 11:32 AM
> I can see that you have created a new account and fundraiser. Once you delete your account, you cannot reactivate it from your side. Only we can at your request.
I did NOT delete my original account. I set it so that it can’t receive any more donations. There was also an option to delete the account, which I did NOT select. I simply deactivated it, which I presume would later allow me to reactivate it, if I so desired. And that is what I tried to do, but no luck. Regardless, according to that account, I’m supposed to STILL be able to log into it, as that page clearly shows:
http://www.gofundme.com/f/help-me-help-2-homeless-doggies
> It seems that we may be having trouble sending you the code to this phone number. Do you possibly have another phone number that we can try or a close friend or family member whose number you can use instead?
I’ve never had any trouble before. And no, I don’t have another phone number to try, or a close friend or family member whose number I can use.
> They’ll need to give you the code each time you log in to GoFundMe on a new device or try to set up withdrawals in a separate sign in session.
That’s a ridiculous arrangement because needlessly convoluted.
> The codes expire in 10-15 minutes so make sure it’s someone you can quickly chat with.
Well then, if the code expires in 10-15 minutes, then the problem is not on my end of the line! My voicemail gets the code within two minutes. So, GoFundMe should NOT reject the 8-digit number I input into their page.
> If you have one, you can also try using a Google Voice [1] or Skype [2] number. Our verification codes will work with either one of those as well.
Sorry, I don’t care to use either. My DSL land line is perfectly good…the problem is obviously with GFM. I’m not gonna jump through needless hoops.
> Alternatively, you can sign up for a free number from TextNow [3]. This is a free number you can use to receive texts and phone calls on your computer or tablet.
I know about TextNow, it doesn’t work, so I gave up on it. I tried using it to sign up for another service, and neither text nor voice got through, ever.
> Please let me know if any of these options will work for you.
I also misspelled my first name on the second GFM account, as “Zele” instead of “Zeke,” but can’t find anywhere to correct that. At any rate:
I’d really like to just reactivate my original account. But also:
Your company needs to allow its users to contact you for help via email, if they for some reason canNOT sign in. As it now stands, there is no way to do that.
Also:
When I get GFM’s email to create a new password for my original account, the link they provide only gets me a “403 Forbidden” page! Even though that account was deactivated (not deleted), I am SUPPOSED to be able to sign in.
Re: Can you imagine what my future readers will think at this point…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 12:13 PM
> I’ll try again!
Oh, it’s trivial…you already have access to a hot butt.
> I may just try making it with chocolate milk.
This is getting too exciting for my delicate condition.
> Or make light of it.
LED is best (Light Emitting Dharma).
Re: [MCN-Announce]- Ode to a Doggy’s Paw
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 1:20 PM
> Aw. So sweet, so true…
Thanks, good physician! The idea of writing an ode to a doggy’s paw has been simmering in my frontal lobe for some weeks now. And yesterday of all days (when Deek pulled those dirty tricks on me), that poem came flowing from my fingers, unbidden. Speaking of which:
He just called up to me from across the street, moments ago: “Has the stimulus check arrived?”
So I quickly checked my bank account to discover it hasn’t…and I returned to the window, gestured “no, sorry, not today.” Then he moved on with the two doggies in tow, mumbling “something’s wrong with the computer, you should go right to the bank instead.”
Which inspired me to look into the matter. Turns out the stimulus payment is delivered in batches over the weeks, and the next batch will go out on March 24th. But I can’t tell Deek that, because he’s already disappeared down one street or another. Which of course means he’ll come by tomorrow with the same question. And when I step out to tell him about the batch arrangement, he’ll accuse me of making it up, that ALL his “people” already got it. We’ve been through this before, the last two times a stimulus check went out.
Sadly, he’s using the pups as leverage…will NOT let me care for them, because he’s accusing me of lying, that I will NEVER give him “his” $700.
[Stopped composing this missive, because Deek just returned, ten minutes later. Here’s what came down:]
Much more amenable, he understands about the stimulus check “batch” delivery. Gave him $40 to pay for his new smartphone’s monthly fee…says he’s holding onto things better these days. Much more was discussed, which will be revealed in an upcoming video. In short: things are looking good, and the pups appear fine and healthy. I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THIS STUFF, I’M TRYING TO HAVE MY BREAKFAST, GODDAMMIT! Deek ALWAYS shows up at the most inconvenient times…he knows it, too, because MY BODHISATTVAS CAN READ MY MIND, and it’s all scripted, anyway.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: [MCN-Announce]- Ode to a Doggy’s Paw
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 3:35 PM
> I kiss and caress my kitties’ paws when they’re sleeping. Squeeze them a little, making the folded-up claws extend like little daggers.
Cat and dog paws are beautifully designed, are they not, Dr. Wattson?
> I ain’t got no stimulus mawney neither. I was in the first wave last time, but not this time, apparently.
Deek is just being silly about it. He survives quite well without any regular lump sum, but then when he knows one is coming, he turns into a monster.
> The wellness of the pups supersedes all!
Of course, and I’ve just emphasized that to him, once again. Here is the excellent video of our latest encounter (11 minutes total):
Re: [MCN-Announce]- Ode to a Doggy’s Paw
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 4:22 PM
> Designed to make us worship them.
I think it goes beyond that but, yes, paws are worthy of worship. There should be kitty and puppy paw shrines everywhere…but is there even ONE in this world? Wait-a-minute, yes there IS. The Sphinx!
Re: Yes, he’s dead.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 5:01 PM
> They have raisin bread, just not Alvaredo St.
Assholes. If they carry Ezekiel 4:9 raisin bread, get it…just as excellent and wholesome.
> I did! I’m looking forward to being a slave and a minion!
Oh, no, you’ll be neither. Our Reptilian Overlords regard you with immense respect and lizard-tongue flavor! For that reason, they will grant you a VERY high position equal to mine. As described in my “Misfortune Cookies” tale. You WILL be THE OSMIUM EMPRESS! (FYI, osmium comes at a super-premium price across more than 15 quadrillion galaxies…you’ll be rich beyond even The Stygian Lord Azithoth’s most feverish dreams.) Why, my dear Wattson, they’ll even give your sperm-laying consort the esteemed privilege of being surgically sewn into the left side of your torso, for all eternity, as your royal flatterer and lice consumer. What a great destiny for you two!
– Zeke K-Holmes
PS: It would be FANTASTIC if my raisin bread video went viral. Maybe my latest Youtube subscriber who works for law enforcement will see to that.
Re: [MCN-Announce]- Ode to a Doggy’s Paw
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 5:52 PM
> Yes! The Sphinx! I won a Scrabble game once when I got that on a triple word score! Bam!
Talk about a pyramid scheme…X marks the kitty! So Deek dropped by again, to pick up his recharged devices, on which new smartphone I’ve added my land line number. Good thing, too, because among the things we discussed, he mentioned he treated the pups to some meatloaf, and they scarfed it all up in no time. He said someone approached him, told him that’s not good for dogs, he shouldn’t feed them meatloaf. So I commented that I see no reason why a dog shouldn’t eat meatloaf. However, later I thought about the onions and garlic it probably contained. I first double-checked on the web and, sure enough, it is TOXIC for canines, even in small portions. But instead of waiting for the next time I see him (during which period he COULD feed them more meatloaf) I simply dialed him up, to tell him that stranger was correct. He listened and thanked me, and I also told him to watch the dogs closely for the next three days; if they become very sluggish, rush them to the SPCA for emergency treatment. I ended with, “I’m sorry to cause you alarm, but you had to know.”
Otherwise, Wattson, it was an excellent latest visit, which I have also recorded, and will be uploaded to my channel in about two hours. I think we are finally reaching a mutually agreeable concern for Lucky & Flaco and, as a result, they’ll be spending much more time with me, again. On Deek’s good wishes. I’d HATE for the pooches to go through something terrible, before Deek wakes up to the urgency of better care for those little furry angels.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: [MCN-Announce]- Ode to a Doggy’s Paw
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 8:55 PM
> Whew. I’m vastly relieved.
No kidding…but he’s STILL not wearing a mask! Just one goddamn obstacle after another. Now that he’s made that incredible breakthrough, and our friendship is finally taking off, I would NOT want him to perish! But at least he now has my number in his smartphone…along with my residential address and email, which I keyed in. I also installed my VPN service, to protect him from prying eyes, such as the cell service and Google. I don’t use Private Internet Access VPN any more, because my ISP is very privacy oriented (including keeping no logs)…and provides their own VPN for customers, at no extra charge. AND I installed an excellent, free anti-malware app that runs in the background.
He STILL won’t let me put tags on the pups, with my phone number. AND I don’t know if he gets them their annual boosters, or if either one of them is actually registered with the SPCA. It’s like pulling TEETH with him…in super slow motion while wading through a sea of sorghum.
Today’s two videos of our meetups show him looking GREAT, more stable and content than EVER before. Assuming this is all an act, and he’s one of my guardians, he’s smiling more because he knows I’ve completed my run through the gauntlet, and things will VERY SHORTLY improve for me in every possible way. Starting with a lovely new home with a backyard where the mutts can enjoy their little adventures any time of the day. And so much more, of course…but I’ve already described the astounding perks of my near-future liberation numerous times, so why beat a dead mastodon?
I just came back from Rosenberg’s where I purchased a small block of cheese. While inside, I heard one old fella say to the clerk, “I finally got my shot.” To which the clerk replied, “Yeah, me too.” They said it like God’s blessing finally anointed their heads, and now all is wonderful, they finally number among the lucky chosen.
The clerk’s name is Harry, around 55 years old, of some sort of Arab descent, and a good guy. So when I came to the register, I informed him that I’m still not eligible for the vaccine, even though I’m 70. He said I should’ve been able to get the shot before him, that’s a shame…his doctor set up the appointment for him. I told Harry I don’t HAVE any doctor, but even so, according to the official gov’t site, based on age and occupation (retired), I am NOT yet eligible to get my shot here in the Bay Area. God forbid I should tell him what’s going on in MY building, where at least one person has died from COVID-19, and that I shared the restroom with him; and who knows how many other residents are carrying it (because by law the tenants are forbidden to know)…and those loitering teenagers who reFUSE to wear a mask, along with Myrtle’s son, Adisa, who’s brought them IN here! I doubt he’d even believe me.
You’d THINK an attorney who works with low-income renters would love to sink his pearly whites into this, it’s SUCH a clear-cut case, but no. Anyway, I am NOT going to dwell on the stupidity and tragic scenarios that seem to be the hallmark of San Franshitsco, in spite of promoting itself to the world as an oh-so-sophisticated, cosmopolitan world-class urban wonder…for it is anything BUT that. And I don’t think it ever really was, though for a time it had a lot of very NICE things going for it, and I was lucky enough to partake of the tail end of that.
Things ARE going my way, my prayers ARE being answered…including those I wish to DIE! Tee-hee. So in all honesty, I have NOTHING to worry about. It’s just that this plane of reality is still so NEW to me, and perhaps my metaphorical placenta has yet to slough off.
So, you should see today’s two videos with Deek…his behavior is markedly improved; it was actually a PLEASURE to commiserate with him. And THAT hasn’t happened for a LONG time! I think his mother’s death several years back hurt him far more than he cares to admit. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot to tell ya:
While tweaking his new phone to perfection, I noticed his Chrome browser history of like a DOZEN porn sites…after checking that it works fine with the VPN installed, by loading my own WordPress Brindlekin Tales site. So I thought, “Hmm, if I leave it there in the history, it will be the first page that pops up, and he’ll discover my tales. After all, the subtitle is right there in bold letters: Flaco & Lucky, a Tale of 2 Doggies!” But I thought better of it, that it’s a tad too soon to show him all the wonderful stories he and the pups have given me. Not to mention the increasing number of VIDEOS with him as the star performer. So I removed it. BTW, he not yet ONCE commented on my spyglasses, but acted like I was wearing just another pair of shades. Though I think, as my bodhisattva, he knows full well I’m recording. Because it’s unusual for him to NOT make at least SOME remark about anything new I’m wearing…he does it all the time, like this afternoon when he pointed out my new sneakers.
That’s it for now, and I’m sure it’s quite enough, anyway, Wattson!
– Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes, Esq.
Re: Yes, he’s dead.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: March 19, 2021 9:09 PM
> Mengele would be green with envy!
My mom used to tell me quite often, when I was a kid, that the surname of the doctor who delivered me was “Mengele.” Of course, I never caught on to the possibly intended reference, and she never cared to reveal it TO me. I still wonder to this day, whether it was a sick joke or not. She haunts me beyond the grave.
– Zeke K-Holmes
ZekeBlog 2.0 
[…] previous chapters. Just search for “harwood” in each of the following episodes: “A Miracle on Market Street,” “The Next Chapter” and “The Next Next Next Next […]