The Final Chapter (part 11)

[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 3: Chapter 17k]

Subject: Broke down, got the Moto E from Amazon.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 23, 2021 8:04 AM

$49, locked into Tracfone, comes with a SIM card, arrives May 28th. But I SHOULD be able to use the card I already bought. So I’m out a hundred dollars, and I may probably squeak by with my remaining funds for the month (including two more $60 allowance payments to Deek). I’ll look over my bank account in the next few days, to see if I’ll need your assistance to get me through. Thanks, Wattson.

Enough with this unlocked phone crap, and US Mobile’s sketchy delivery. If I want a phone from them, I have to be home to sign for the delivery, including via USPS. That makes me nervous, because they don’t always deliver if you’re not reachable via smartphone…they don’t even bother to press the buzzer at the gate. I’m not about to hang around the building outside to catch them, or keep poking my head out the window every two minutes. Amazon has been very efficient with delivery, for the most part…they keep it simple.

THEN I gotta deal with Comcast, which I do NOT look forward to. i may wind up shipping everything back, and just use public wifi again. Which would put an end to my affair with Internet home service. So long as another PLAGUE doesn’t fuck up my plans.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Comcast has been VERY responsive!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 23, 2021 12:49 PM

I was gonna wait till tomorrow, Monday, to start calling their support, but decided what-the-heck-i’ll-do-it-now. And I’m sure glad I did! After just under an hour on the phone with a VERY nice woman named Brenda, I can now log into my account online, and they’re sending a technician over TOMORROW MORNING between 9-11 AM. The problem is exactly what I suspected: they have to activate my cable hookup somewhere in my building…probably in the basement, where all those cables and wires are. YIPPEE!

Glad that Deek didn’t show up while I was on the telephone. But he did, just minutes after I hung up! Wanted me to watch the dogs, as I just gave him $60, upon which he said “I gotta do some stuff.” Ha-ha, wonder what that “stuff” is.

Anyway, I told him if for some reason the pups wind up staying overnight, to PLEASE return next morning before 9. As I’m having a Comcast technician over, and all pets should be removed from his or her presence. And the next day I’m to get my second shot. You just watch, good doctor, he WON’T show up tommorow morning, and I’ll have to barricade Flaco & Lucky in the alcove right outside my door. I’ll dump a few sleeping bags down, and block it with one of my wide storage bins. Hopefully, the techie will be fine with that. The visit should be no more than two hours.

And, should Deek not show up the NEXT morning, either, I’ll be forced to take the pooches with me, for my Moderna booster. Which means if he drops by while I’m not there, he may panic…and it could be an hour or more before I return. HOW HE ALWAYS MAKES THINGS DIFFICULT FOR ME, no matter what!

Anyway, it’s GREAT to have these angels with me again…and they are so happy, too! I let them off their leashes a quarter way up the stairs, and they immediately dashed off to my hovel. As I caught up with them, Lucky pranced back out to make sure I was following. Flaco showered me with kisses, as I hugged her with much delight. She always makes a point of saying “thank you” in so many ways…her waggy tail no less spontaneous with gratitude.

Interesting timing, eh, Wattson: Deek showing up right AFTER I got off the phone with Comcast. Obviously, the ongoing script of Brindlekin Tales is moving along splendidly, towards a jubilant climax and final act.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Leaving Chronic.net on a Good Note
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 23, 2021 4:48 PM

Just posted this in their “General” forum:


Subject: Thank you, Chronic, for your excellent Internet service!

I am soon leaving your service due to my low income, and switching to an ISP that offers a great deal for those who are eligible, under a gov’t subsidy. So my last post here is to thank you immensely for your dedicated customer service, and efficient and friendly technical support. But once I make my first million on my almost-completed novel (bound to become a global, if not intergalactic, success) you can bet I’ll be back, and subscribe to your ultra-premium service. Until then, I’ll recommend Chronic to anyone looking for the best ISP in this little corner of the universe. All glory to the hypnotoad!

That should make them happy.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Leaving Chronic.net on a Good Note
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 23, 2021 7:16 PM

> They should be paying YOU!

Well, of course. I will send them my bill when they least expect it. Here’s “Flaco Under Cover,” 1.5 minutes:


RE: I probably lost a friend to COVID
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Carlyle Lambourne
Date: May 23, 2021 11:28 PM

On 2021-05-23 18:57, Carlyle Lambourne wrote:

> I think that to some degree, even with friends, human beings are still really to some degree islands never really fully connected to anything other than our own consciousness, which is the only thing which we can really, directly experience.

You can drive yourself INSANE by getting TOO philosophical about that kinda stuff! It is what it is, and the ego may rebel against it. But just do as much good as you can in life, and practice keeping a balance with your emotions, and all will be fine in the long run. Some say that life is meaningless, as does the existentialist…but you can CREATE your own meaning. So that’s what I’ve accomplished, only to conclude the only way I could get there is because life is actually NOT meaningless. And that’s one of the great messages in my Brindlekin Tales.

Speaking of islands, my friend John (who I thought had died, but just learned two days ago, did not) has become an island of Trump madness. While much relieved to discover he’s alive and kicking, I am also disgusted by his right-wing stupidity. Which seemed to have developed over the years, since his return to Philadelphia and old high-school chums. You may read his pathetic email to me, and my response, in my latest chapter.

I mulled over for a couple of days on how to respond, whether to just skirt around his obviously nasty ideology, address it with kindness, or just let him have it. I finally decided to let him have it, come hell or high water. If you want to get right to it, and just read those two emails, click on the chapter link, then search for “Chuck,” which is what I call him in my stories. Having read that, you can find my reply by searching for “let ‘er rip.”

> With the exception that occasionally with a life partner it does seem possible to literally share thoughts in a way that seems paranormal.

That is quite rare, but a tremendous blessing when it happens. I have never known that, but am now actually perfectly content any more, regardless. Because I have evolved in my awareness of what life is about, especially since two sweet little doggies have brought such joy and comfort into my life. So, there will come a time when I finally discover my life partner a.k.a. soulmate, in spite of my advanced age. And I know it will be WONDERFUL.

> I admit that if I had not been partnered, I might easily have become a hermit with little or no social life. That might not be so bad, if I were in a remote setting surrounded by nature – woods, streams, mountains, valleys. I don’t think that I’d need a lot of money, if I had Nature.

I could be quite happy with that kind of life, as well…and with a dog or two, or three, to keep me company, I’d be ecstatic!

> Sometimes, I would really like to just get away from the human race and lose myself in remote natural surroundings, but I cannot do that with a partner, since he would not adapt to isolation as well as I would. I think that I could like it, just fine, if it were just up to me.

EVERYthing has its pluses and minuses, though I’d say that acquiring a life partner is better than winning the lottery. Though wouldn’t it be stupendous if you had both?

> One friend who died recently, I had thought was very social and outgoing, but I learned from a another friend who had known him even longer, that before he was partnered, he was a homebody that never did much. It was his partner who brought him into an active social life (a bit like me).

True friendship can do that, whether it be a “life partner,” or a great “buddy.” Platonic friendships are also a blessing. Anyway, I got lotsa good news for ya, Carlyle:

– Relationship with Deek is markedly improved, which also creates a better, safer situation for the doggies. He trusts me more to watch over them, which means I’m having them visit more often.

– I’m switching my ISP to Comcast, thanks to their “Xfinity Essentials,” a gov’t subsidized program for the poor, where you get very cheap broadband, up to 50Mbps DL and 5Mbps UL, unlimited data, and tech troubleshooting/maintenance/repair at NO cost. I chose them over AT&T because I prefer to avoid what is by now “old school” DSL. Going the same route as dialup. Too many issues to deal with…including rainy days sometimes wreak havoc on the lines.

The cost is only $10/month plus taxes and surcharges. And all new customers get the first two months free. But now that the Fed gov’t has started the Emergency Broadband Benefit (EBB) program, which pays $50/month towards their Internet service, to all who are eligible, my Xfinity will be entirely FREE until that EBB program comes to an end. It’s temporary, but will probably go on for well over three months.

I ordered the self-install kit and got everything set up and working within an hour. But two problems arose: Comcast would let me sign up for an account online, claiming I’m not in their records! Which is ridiculous, because they APPROVED me for Xfinity Essentials just several days after I filled out all the forms and sent them proof of my eligibility (a pic of my Medi-Cal card, in my case). My conclusion is that they failed to transfer my info into their customer database.

The other problem was that my cable outlet was not active. It has NEVER been used since it was installed over 20 years ago! At least, that was my hunch, which turned out to be correct, after talking with a Comcast representative who was VERY nice, and got BOTH issues cleared up for me, just shy of an hour. That was earlier today. A cable guy is coming out tomorrow morning to get my line activated, and then I should be good to go!

– Losing my landline, because it was part of the bundle with my Sonic ADSL service. You could NOT get Internet alone, as their contract with AT&T to use their lines, required them to include phone service. I’m having some difficulty in finding a low-rate cell service that isn’t crap, so I broke down and ordered a Tracfone, and a month of unlimited text and talk (plus 3GB data). I know their service sucks, but I need to buy more time to settle into the RIGHT cell service for me. Which will probably be US Mobile, really good rates, you can build your own plan, top extra data you might need one month. For $12/month I can get unlimited talk and text, plus 1GB data. Or I can build my own, such as: 75 mins. call, 100 texts, and 50MB date for just $5.

I hardly make phone calls, and texting is zilch. But for Amazon delivery, that will come in handy…so maybe I’d use anywhere from 1 to 5 texts on any given month. I really don’t need data, but I can always adjust the plan anyway I want. I’m thinking maybe whenever Comcast is down, I could top up my data a few gigs, in order to stay on the ‘net. And I can do that immediately, via their app. If I want to go whole hog, the unlimited everything plan is just $35/month, which includes a whopping 30GB data.

But with FREE or just $10/month Internet, I can easily afford their highest-end plan, anyway. Which is GREAT! I will NOT be taking my phone outside, I’ll just leave it at home. So the only REASON I’d need a lot of data, is if Comcast goes down more than I’d like. My biggest data needs are uploading my videos, and watching videos, movies, TV shows. But the last two I don’t consider necessary, that is, I can live without ’em. So I’m gonna start on the low end re. my smartphone plan.

US Mobile has excellent customer service, unlike any of the Obama phone ones, which are REALLY crappy. The phones they give out for free are impressive, but it’s their service that stinks. That’s why I’m not bothering with that option…tons of customer complaints re. overcharges, wiping out your minutes, text or data, etc. I have not found ONE Obama service that is NOT poorly rated. Besides, I’d actually be spending LESS with US Mobile, than with Lifeline…assuming I’d build my own low-end package.

If I wind up needing to use so much data, I’ll need a larger screen. The only thing I could find on Amazon is an external device for around $20. It’s just a large, plastic lens on a stand…but that would work! There are possibly Bluetooth displays out there, but I haven’t found any so far. There are HDMI ones, but I won’t have a smartphone with that kind of port. With a larger screen and my Bluetooth keyboard and mouse, I’d be set. ALWAYS important to have a backup for those times when your ISP goes down.

But I also can access either of two public wifi spots just below my building, one on each side. The reception is very good from my room…that is, with a wifi extender. But I need to get the password for each place, so I think I’ll pop down to both of them, soon, and order a snack and sit down and use their online service. Small price to pay, to have their access from my hovel, in an emergency. Plus, I ALWAYS run a VPN with a kill switch.

– I have converted ALL my chapters thus far, into digital narrations. Took quite awhile, and hard work tweaking each chapter to be compatible with the software…59 chapters to get through! Since that radio host abruptly stopped reading my tales, I figured I’d have to do it myself. I WAS planning to download each chapter he read, and upload to my Youtube channel. Alas, that didn’t go very far. But after putting off reading them myself for several months (which would prove to be an exhausting venture that I shunned), it finally hit me: NARRATE THEM IN DIGITAL VOICE! So now I’m caught up with converting all chapters, and only need to turn each one into voice mode as I publish my latest. So I’m now up to my 63rd chapter, still with no end in sight. Looks like the third book of my trilogy may turn out to be three times larger than the first two books combined! I just can’t bear to have it go beyond a trilogy, and into a fourth and even fifth novel! I just love the idea of a trilogy, a.k.a. “trinity.”

You’ll see in my “Brindlekin Tales” section how I display each chapter with a [narration] link next to each one.

The quality of the voice is more than good enough for hearing impaired folks to enjoy…along with anyone who just loves audio books. Though some day soon, people will catch on to my tales, and voluntarily create narrations in their own voices. I may also hire one or more professional narrators to read my stories…once the moolah comes rolling in. Though I imagine by the time that happens, there will be growing numbers of my admirers who will gladly take over this work for me, at no cost. That will also include film animations and various other expressions of media, such as plays and philosophical debates over my Bodhisattva Premise.

Anyway, Carlyle, thought I’d share with you some of the interesting things going on in my world, lately. I have never felt better or more self-assured in my entire life, than I do now. And it all comes down to two, sweet little pooches who have triggered this transformation. If Jesus really does exist, I’m certain he’d return as a dog!

My tales WILL rock the world…and make it a much better place for everyone, in the process.

– Ezekiel


Subject: Cable guy (Said) was here, very nice fellow, but…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 24, 2021 12:26 PM

…it looks like they’ll need to replace the cable from the main box (which is on the top floor), to my dwelling. Because for some unknown reason, my cord has been cut. So, Said (pronounced “sah-eed”) called his supervisor, who will get in touch with me in two or three days, to arrange the replacement. Onward and upward!

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Cable guy (Said) was here, very nice fellow, but…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 24, 2021 1:02 PM

> Lawd have mercy.

I know! Just one thing after another…an exhausting, uphill slog to get even the simplest thing done! Talk about cutting it close to being withOUT any Internet service for awhile! My Chronic.net account will expire on June 5th.

Before Said arrived, I laid out newspaper over my floor, because I don’t want shoes on in my hovel, and Americans are generally obstinate about being asked to remove them IN YOUR OWN HOME. He had unscrewed the cable from my gateway, to make sure it was working right. It is, but he failed to screw it back in. I had a terrible time connecting it in the first place, now I’m back to square one trying to screw it back on. You have to press down REALLY hard and start turning the nut clockwise, while never releasing pressure for even a blip of a moment. Just spent a half hour trying to screw it back on, but still no success. Don’t know WHY they make it so difficult, they’re just threads! And, get this:

I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A PHONE to arrange the cable replacement. Or even any Internet!

Yesterday evening Amazon emailed me to say my Tracfone will arrive early tomorrow morning, instead of Friday. Well, the original order said it would arrive this Tuesday, if I purchase it within so many hours, which I did. Now it’s supposed to show up today, which it has YET to do…and it’s no longer “early.” And around three hours ago, I got a “welcome” message from Tracfone, saying that the phone comes with their SIM card for one month of unlimited text and calls, plus 2GB data. I think if I don’t activate it, it will be good for any other month. Which would be great, as I can then use my already-activated card that I bought a couple of days ago. If such be the case, I’ve wasted only $10, not $42.

Certainly, one thing I’m NOT gonna do, is use automated payment with Tracfone. I don’t want them to have their claws in my bank account. I’ll just purchase a new SIM each month…if I even use their service longer than 60 days.Their approach is to cancel your present phone number you have with them, if you fail to set up a NEW SIM before the previous one is depleted. They don’t even give you a day’s grace! That’s obviously because they REALLY want you to switch to auto-pay.

Their cheapest unlimited deal is $20 (plus 1GB data), so of course Walgreens doesn’t sell that one…but only the NEXT least expensive, which is $10 more! I really don’t wanna spend that much in the long run, since I rarely even USE my phone. However, thanks to Comcast, I may NEED unlimited talk for two or three weeks.

I finally got around to applying for the EBB, which required a pic of my Medi-Cal card, my California ID, AND my Social Security card. I got accepted into the program three days later, which is today. They give you a unique application ID, which you use to hook into your Xfinity account. However, when you load the page Xfinity has set up to get that done, it says: “Your request couldn’t be processed at this time. We apologize for the inconvenience. Please give us a call at 1-800-XFINITY for assistance.”

So again, I’ll have to phone them and go through hoops to get beyond their gauntlet of automated options, in order to speak with a HUMAN representative! What a grind.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: My latest emails to Chuck are bouncing back again, including my “Let ‘er rip” piece. Maybe Kismet has decided on her own, to free me from any further contact with the fool. Once a friend, / But now a fiend. / It has to end, / I must be weaned.


Subject: Another idiot in my building…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 24, 2021 1:33 PM

…is very annoyed at the pups. They bark wildly whenever he passes them with his two chihuahuas…which happens maybe once every other month. The last time I brought the pups hovel, he was at the 2nd floor hallway, holding each of his little dogs in his arms, and remarked as we came up the stairs with Flaco & Lucky barking: “This is too much!” That was several days ago.

So, this morning we crossed paths again, and I stopped to explain that I’m sorry my doggies barked at his, but they don’t bark any more at people in the building. It takes them longer to adapt, because this pandemic has made our hallways and lobby silent and empty most of the time…so it took longer for them to calm down. But even more rarely, do they see other dogs inside, so it will take even longer for them to adapt to that. Unless he takes some time to acquaint his pups with them.

He then cut me off, said he’s seen the dogs outside, and they’re always barking like mad with their homeless owner. (Which is NOT true, as regards the “always” part.) Before I could point out that their behavior outdoors is because they’re protecting him from all the crazies, and the chaotic streets…that is not how they behave in the building…he took off in a huff, and quickly descended the stairs: “I beg to differ, that is not what I see!”

His problem is he really wants nothing to do with me, because of the gossip I’ve had to suffer at 9666 Market for decades. My attempt to talk with him today put him on the spot, and it looks like he’d rather keep projecting enmity, than respect my friendly attempt to resolve the issue. Which is really a NON-issue; he’d rather play the drama queen. He has never seen the dogs NOT bark, because he’s always with the chihuahuas when my pups pass by. Had they been with me this morning, he’d’ve seen them NOT kicking up a ruckus, because he was minus his own pooches. Conclusion:

He’s just a smug, snotty POS who’d rather stir up crap about me, than understand my point…which is my mutts are doing really well when it comes to spending time in this building. He has basically accused me of lying. Well, maybe I’ll just give him a friendly hello whenever he goes by, from now on. Let’s see him blow his stack!

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Another idiot in my building…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 24, 2021 1:47 PM

> Kill ’em with kindness.

The deadliest weapon of all!


Subject: Deek took the dogs with him last night. :(
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 24, 2021 3:35 PM

When he dropped over yesterday, early evening, he said to keep the pups inside, and come downstairs. He wanted me to recharge his Bluetooth speaker, another much smaller speaker, and a new smartphone. He said thank you, and he’ll be back in a few hours to take his stuff and pick up the doggies. I suggested they stay till next morning, it’s healthy to give them a break from the cold nights. He waved his hand mockingly, smirked and said no, they’ll come with me.

So, by 10:30 PM he returned, to pick everything up. I was hoping he’d change his mind but, nope, Flaco & Lucky went with him, too. But before he departed, I reminded him that in two days I’m scheduled to get my second shot, so I won’t be around till the afternoon that day. He then remarked:

“That vaccine will make you sick!”

“No it won’t make me sick,” I replied. “It’s very IMPORTANT to get that second dose.”

“Well, I had a friend who got those shots,” he elaborated, “said he felt like SHIT for a buncha days after.”

“Oh, I’m ready for that possibility,” I retorted, now realizing he meant a common side effect. “I’ll take feeling like crap, like I’m coming down with the flu for two or three days, any time over NOT being vaccinated.”

To my surprise he added, “But then he felt fantastic, better than he ever did before!”

I was pleased he wasn’t playing the anti-vax shtick this time around, and was sort of acknowledging the covid vaccine is a good thing. Then he wished me a good night, with god’s blessing…and I did the same. Off they trotted, all three, with Flaco glancing back at me several times before they reached the opposite corner. If only they could’ve stayed overnight!

At any rate, I’m not gonna let any of this get me flustered. I’m the winner here; reality just hasn’t caught up yet. But it will, and soon. So where the fuck is my smartphone? I WANT MY SMARTPHONE, I wanna get the ball rolling on this! Why is such a simple upgrade to my life such a complicated, burdensome matter? You’d think I was waiting on the Holy Grail to show up! Imagine that:

Some knight of yore on his sacred quest, actually stumbles upon the Holy Grail and, as he lifts it to his eyes, discovers a Tracfone stashed within, buzzing like mad to be answered…there’s a message just for him! But of course he doesn’t KNOW how to answer it, nor that it should even BE answered at all…the entire concept is alien! He concludes it is the devil’s work, so orders his horse to crush it under a hoof. And with that, the actual grail vanishes like a wisp of fog in his hand. He will tell his story to no one.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Click here for a larger view.

Subject: Moto E smartphone = very nice! And I now have a new phone #.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 25, 2021 4:38 PM

Before I start this missive, you should know: I GOT MY 2ND MODERNA SHOT THIS MORNING!!

I FINALLY have a new phone number, and wanted to surprise you with a quick call and a text, but the only number you gave me, I’m guessing is long defunct. Or at least, there doesn’t seem to be a voicemail option. The robo-responder said: “The wireless number you are trying to reach is not available at this time. Please try again later.”

At any rate, I am not asking for your new(er) number, if you are not comfortable giving it out. We already have frequent email correspondence.

I’m impressed with the quality and features of this Moto E. Latest Android build: 10. It’s actually a “phablet,” which I much appreciate, because larger screen. Includes wifi calling and tethering (though you can’t tether w/Tracfone, no big dealie). 2GB RAM, 32 gig storage (with 22 gigs freed up, after Android’s needs)…plenty of room for my use!

Since my account is “no contract,” I can easily downgrade to fewer minutes and texts…which would cost me as little as $10/month. Or even less, if I pay in 3-month allotments. As it now stands, I spent $50 for a beautiful smartphone that includes Tracfone’s one month of unlimited calls and text, plus 2GB data. That plan is $20/month, so I got the phone for just $30…and it’s a keeper.

If it turns out I really need high data access on a regular basis, there’s always US Mobile’s excellent, flexible plans! But at least for now, I have plenty of time on my hands, to decide whether or not I like Tracfone, and if not, switching over won’t be based on a desperate deadline, as it was this first time around. I WILL, however, have to purchase another phone, because the Moto E is locked into Tracfone. US Mobile also sells that model, but for $150.

I also have a Google phone number, which I’ve never used, but it may prove cost-saving in the long run. I think I’ll use it for non-critical contacts, and keep THIS phone number mostly for online banking, shopping, and some fee-based Internet services, such as my Idrive backup service and Private Internet Access VPN. Oh, and also for 2FA security, of course.

I CERTAINLY won’t post it to any MCN list, just as I won’t post my Comcast addie there, either.

Comcast is sending another technician out tomorrow morning, to get that new cable installed. Hopefully, I’ll be on the Xfinity ‘net some time soon!

Things are moving so fast for me, my head is spinning! Comcast support and techies have been REALLY nice.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Moto E smartphone = very nice! And I now have a new phone #.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 25, 2021 8:26 PM

> Oh, that number has been dead and buried for years!

I thought so.

> Here’s the cell #.

Okay, thanks. I just sent you a text for the heck of it.

> My phone is similar to yours, a Motorola. I like it a lot.

Impressive quality for their low-end models. I’m happy with my Moto. The fingerprint ID option is very “handy,” hardy har-har. I like this Motorola phone, but I can’t place a finger on exactly why! Wait a minute, I can, I can!

> I use Tracfone, and they’re mostly just fine.

I had no idea…a classy empress like you! It’s “the people’s phone.” So tell me, Wattson, do you use autopay? And if so, have you had any problems with it?

> though customer service can get a little dicey at times. I’ve heard roosters crowing, dogs barking, pigs grunting and babies crying in the background on some of my calls.

Wow! I had no idea. Phone support is always my last resort (as I’m sure it is yours) so thank deity for Reddit, which has a Tracfone sub! What are the reasons you’ve had to call them, if I may so inquire, good physician?

> Of course, I have nothing against people who must struggle to make a living, but sometimes there’s a “colloquialism” barrier that makes me wish for a regular old Murrican!

That’s stunningly dystopian! Of course, if you apply my Bodhisattva Premise to that, you will conclude they are actually trickster angels at a posh service center, having a riot pulling your leg! Probably enjoying a gourmet repast gratis of their employer (and served three times daily), while playing farm animal recordings in the background.

> Welcome to the Moderna Club!

And proud OF it! I’ve already taken a pic of my vaccine card, copied it to my main drive, then backed it up to an external drive and two cloud services: Google Drive and Idrive. Also, copied it to my new smartphone…and the other two phones, for good measure. AND my tablet. So I think I have all bases covered! Well, ALMOST all, as I still have to get the actual card laminated!

I’ve had three people in the past several days warn me that I’ll probably feel sick for awhile after my 2nd Moderna shot. {That would be Brenda from Comcast’s phone support, Deek, and a worker at a Cambodian-family-run health food store this morning.) I had done some reading up on this last night, and it turns out EITHER variant can make you feel shitty, just as flu shots do for some. But I think there’s a sort of class warfare going on, where those who claim Pfizer, feel superior to those who’ve been “Moderna-ized,” as if the “M” shots were reserved for the downtrodden.

Perhaps elitist clubs and gated neighborhoods will form, where only Pfizer types will be welcome. Maybe that will expand further, into a class split between “Pfizerians” and “Modernians,” like H.G. Wells’ Eloi and Morlocks! So it will no longer be enough to just get your two shots, but which ONE you were injected with will be the determining factor as to who IS, or isn’t, a pariah! It is not clear at this time, where the “Johnsonians” will end up in the pecking order. We will just have to wait and see. But this latest faux class warfare will make the “Maskers vs. Anti-Maskers” fiasco look like a picnic in Tahiti!

– Zeke K-Holmes

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Re: Moto E smartphone = very nice! And I now have a new phone #.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 7:25 AM

> I am known for my common touch. It’s why my people love me so much.

No argument here, Your Most Esteemed & Glorious Potentate!

> Well, I ordered a cheap little flip phone online for Derrick and Diane (before he so sadly died), and when it arrived it refused to recognize the very strong Verizon signal around here. Spent a couple of hours on the phone with customer service trying to get them to send a replacement that would work here. No dice. So I called the local Rite Aid, and a gal there said they carried flip phones, set one aside for me, and it worked! Meanwhile, I had packed up the first one to send back, and put it on a shelf preparatory to mailing it off the next day. A few hours later, I heard a most mysterious and faintly ominous little music-box tune, like something out of a Chuckie flick, coming from I knew not where. Could not locate the source of the little tune, which went silent after a minute or so. Was I going insane? Did I have a brain tumor? Leprechauns? When it happened again, I went to the box on the shelf: I had, when messing around with the phone, set an alarm.

Well THAT was a letdown; I was hoping you’d say someone’s miniaturized head sprung out, a la “It’s a Good Life!”

> That’s the most plausible explanation.

My Bodhisattva Premise has ALL the right answers! There is no question it cannot answer, no Gordian Knot it cannot unravel, and no frothy mocha latte it cannot perfect. Take that, Starbucks!

> I didn’t get any side effects at all. But the Iron Empress never does.

There ARE no miserable days for the Iron Empress. Woe to any herbalist who claims otherwise, and tries to sell her the farm! As for yours truly, it’s now morning (I set aside composing this email), my left shoulder is now sore, and my arm rotted overnight and plopped juicily to the floor the moment I arose. It doesn’t even stink. So I don’t see all the brouhaha some people make over the Moderna vaccine! I have voice recognition, and it works very well.

> We Morlocks will get the last laugh. As we always do.

Right; we run the underground, much like the Mafia. But we are still sad, for the loss of our glorious queen some four years ago, who perished in the Millienial Molting Wars. Long live her noble and esteemed majesty, Mary Tyler Morlock!

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: BTW, did you know that “Morlock” is a legitimate surname? See: https://www.mylife.com/mary-morlock/e613417623438


Subject: My Xfinity Account Will Soon Be Canceled!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 9:21 AM

Another cable guy, Lester, dropped by, who I expected to hook up a new cable to my hovel. But he told me Comcast wasn’t being honest because they never told me there IS no service for this block, and the next one over. So I asked what that was all about with the other cable guy fussing with the cable box upstairs? He said it’s not a Comcast node, he’s been working in this area of the city for years, and knows which blocks have Comcast service, and which don’t. And that NO ONE in my building uses Comcast, nor do any of the businesses below, though they’d like to.

And that he’s sorry to tell me this, but he will cancel my account for me, to save me the trouble! So I replied:

“So much for Internet Essentials…I’m NOT gonna use AT&T. But thanks for your honesty, I guess you work is done here; you didn’t even need to come by.”

He said no problem, and that’s all she wrote! But I wonder why the building manager didn’t know about this; you’d think he would! So I left a voicemail for him, telling him the weird and unexpected situation just foisted upon me. Now, if he says that’s not true, some residents DO use Comcast here, I’m gonna bust a gut! However, I just looked through all active wifi points on my network and, sure enough, no Xfinity…except two, very weak, 1-bar nodes.

So whaddya think of that, Wattson? My hopes keep getting dashed, it’s like a roller coaster ride! Actually, I just might have NO choice but to go AT&T, and their program for the poor is REALLY crappy. For one, I’ll be stuck with DSL. Not good.

The other alternative is to rely solely on a smartphone with generous monthly data amounts. That would be US Mobile. However, that means yet ANOTHER expense, and no longer using my NEW Tracfone device or service! And I wouldn’t be able to use a large screen, because tethering is an extra expense.

Back to public wifi for me, I suppose! Can’t even use dialup any more! “Internet Essentials” is costing me money and headaches.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: Building manager just called me, and says HE uses Comcast from his apartment! So now what do I do?


Re: My Xfinity Account Will Soon Be Canceled! UPDATE
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 10:51 AM

I just posted the following missive to an online form called “Send Tom Feedback,” which is located here:

https://support.xfinity.com/svp-contact-form

–begin:

I am stymied! I was supposed to have a Comcast tech come by today at 9 AM, to replace an old cable that connects to my unit, because it wasn’t letting me get online. He DID show up (name of Lester), and just told me that Comcast isn’t being honest, that there is NO service for this block, and the next one over! So why did the OTHER tech who came by three days ago (Said) look at the cable box upstairs, to discover my cable had been cut, and it needs to be replaced? He said he’ll arrange with his supervisor to send another tech out in two or three days…and that would be Lester. Bad enough, but I believed Lester, who offered to cancel my account for me (to save me the trouble), so I said okay…now, I wish I hadn’t.

Once Lester departed (after spending just a few minutes to tell me the bad news) I spoke with my building manager, who said HE uses Comcast for his Internet service! So what the heck is going on here? I may soon have my Internet Essentials account CANCELED, and have no more Internet from home. Because the service I was using, I arranged to have shut down by June 5th…and I can NOT afford to resume their business. That would be Sonic’s basic DSL service, which was costing me $73/month, including the landline phone.

I was HOPING to make a smooth transition from one service to another, but this is a can of worms! FYI I now have a smartphone, so my present number registered with Comcast will also be defunct by June 5th. My NEW number is 415-[xxx-xxxx]. I have JUST verified that number on my Xfinity account…which I guess will be canceled very soon, unless someone at Comcast intervenes!

–end

I have used this page twice before, to post a compliment for how helpful phone support and tech maintenance was. But after sending that off, I contacted phone support again, and spoke with “Ava,” who was also excellent in dealing with my bizarre situation. She assured me my account will NOT be canceled, and arranged to have a supervisor come out tomorrow morning. I also got my account updated with my new phone number. Yay!

So I posted another “Send Tom Feedback” missive, complimenting how well Ava handled my ridiculous outcome this morning, saying she really made my day, her help was outstanding…and she guaranteed my account will NOT be canceled. I think this Tom fellow (who is listed as “Tom K.” at the top of that page) is “Tom Karinshak, Executive Vice President and Chief Customer Experience Officer, Comcast Cable:”

https://corporate.comcast.com/news-information/leadership-overview/tom-karinshak

My new smartphone is already saving the day for me! Though setting up 2FA on Amazon was a big flop, because they never TEXTED me the OTP (one time password), to verify! Made me worry that perhaps it was a Tracfone glitch, but now I don’t think so, ’cause I set up 2FA with my bank and Xfinity, and they both went off without a hitch. Anyway, I then tried to get Amazon to EMAIL me the OTP, but THAT didn’t work either! As a result, I became LOCKED OUT of my account!

So I had to send them a pic of my California ID, in order to be able to use their service again. First time around they rejected it, claiming my name and address was all they need to see on that card, not my face or ID number! So I then blacked that all out, and resent it…this time, it was accepted, and I’m back on Amazon. But I’ll tell you ONE thing, Wattson:

I’m never gonna try to set up 2FA with THEM again! Conclusion:

I’m getting really POPULAR with the Comcast family…maybe they’re enjoying my Brindlekin Tales behind my back!

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Oh, and I saw Deek again…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 4:03 PM

…just for a few minutes, amid all this Comcast kerfuffle. He just wanted his devices recharged, but I took a few minutes patting and hugging the pooches. Flaco wanted SO badly to visit, it broke my heart once again. On top of that, Deek started mocking me, saying he doesn’t want me to get all mushy and kissy-poo with them. So I stood up, told him he needs to stop talking to me like that…I’m just being KIND to them! Then he pulled his Michael Savage shtick on me again, knowing how that annoys me no end. He said I can listen to him on the web. So I replied he’s an evil man that’s poisoned many minds. Then he retorted, how you never know when he’s gonna get all up in your face outta the blue.

I told him he did already, through HIM, just parroting the words of the devil, thinking he’s so clever doing that, but he’s not. At any rate, I told him to put it in a sock, I didn’t step out to be insulted. But it’s always good to see him and the dogs, and I hope you all have a lovely day. Then I went hovel, lugging the 20-lb. speaker up the stairs, along with a smartphone and two, raggedy old headsets, one of which won’t even connect with the USB plug, because its port is the wrong shape. Or, perhaps, it’s been damaged.

Deek seems determined to never have Lucky & Flaco over again…he’s at war with his own demons, mistaking them for me. But that’s how they operate, and Deek is just too clueless to know that. Though I’ve tried many times, to explain. I’d have given up on him months ago, if it weren’t for the doggies. Last night was BITCHIN’ cold, and knowing the pups were out there did NOT make me feel very well. I have utterly NO respect for Deek at this point, but I hide it well.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Oh, and I saw Deek again…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 4:21 PM

> Yes. For the sake of the doggies. They are SO worth it.

I feel like I’m wrestling with the devil, to preserve their lives. This is a wicked fellow.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Comments for Tom Karinshak
From: Comcast Support
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: May 26, 2021 2:25 PM

Dear Mr. Krahlin,

Thank you for contacting the Office of Tom Karinshak. My name is Janice, and I will be assisting you from here. What you described in your email is not the type of experience that I want for any of our customers. Trust that you have reached the right place to have your concerns addressed. As someone who works from home, I understand how important it is to not lose internet services.

After reviewing your account, I see that there is an appointment scheduled for Thursday 5/27/2021 from 9a-11a for a technician to complete the internet install, and I see that your phone number has been updated to 415-[xxx-xxxx]. I am sorry about the misinformation Lester gave you and I want to assure you that I have all the confidence in the technician that will arrive tomorrow to get your services up and running. I want to assure you that you will not have to worry about being without internet service.

After the technician leaves tomorrow if you are experiencing any issues please do not hesitate to respond and we will be happy to assist you. Just as a reminder you always have Xfinity.com and the Xfinity MyAccount App as great self-service options to help you out. Again, thank you so much for reaching out and letting me help you with this issue because we appreciate you and look forward to providing you services for many years to come.

Sincerely,
Janice M
The Office of Tom Karinshak


Subject: Google Voice works great!
From: Comcast Support
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: May 26, 2021 3:37 PM

With it, I can make and receive calls via wifi, though it will use data if that’s all you have at the moment. Set it for wifi calls on your smartphone (if you have that option), and you’ll save on calls, unless they’re unlimited. If GV proves to be that reliable, I can purchase a less expensive cell plan. With the smallest about of minutes…and texting as well, because I can use an app for that.

You can set up GV to send voicemails to your gmail address, including transcriptions. You can also record any conversation, if your party agrees to it. You can be alerted on your smartphone, as to any missed calls, and voicemail. But by July, you will no longer be able to forward your GV voicemail to your cell phone. You can even have GV use the number you have set up with them, to be the one for callers to respond to, in lieu of your cell number.

Anyway, you can also run GV on your PC or laptop…but it looks like using the Chrome browser sis the only way to go about it. Because I download a Windows app called “GVnotifier,” and it refused to install! So I loaded Chrome, tried to call my landline, but it said I need to activate the microphone. Looked at my seetings, which claim that the mic is working, but when I test it, it says it only gets a level 0, which means it’s off. So I clicking on the troubleshooting link, and it says “error!” Anyway, here’s my Google number…which works fine on my smartphone.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: I feel SLIGHTLY run down from the second shot, but it’s minor. Like the first stage of coming down with the flu: an achy feeling throughout my body that puts me in “relax” mode. It’s actually kinda pleasant.


Subject: Oh, and I saw Deek again…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 4:03 PM

…just for a few minutes, amid all this Comcast kerfuffle. He just wanted his devices recharged, but I took a few minutes patting and hugging the pooches. Flaco wanted SO badly to visit, it broke my heart once again. On top of that, Deek started mocking me, saying he doesn’t want me to get all mushy and kissy-poo with them. So I stood up, told him he needs to stop talking to me like that…I’m just being KIND to them! Then he pulled his Michael Savage shtick on me again, knowing how that annoys me no end. He said I can listen to him on the web. So I replied he’s an evil man that’s poisoned many minds. Then he retorted, how you never know when he’s gonna get all up in your face outta the blue.

I told him he did already, through HIM, just parroting the words of the devil, thinking he’s so clever doing that, but he’s not. At any rate, I told him to put it in a sock, I didn’t step out to be insulted. But it’s always good to see him and the dogs, and I hope you all have a lovely day. Then I went hovel, lugging the 20-lb. speaker up the stairs, along with a smartphone and two, raggedy old headsets, one of which won’t even connect with the USB plug, because its port is the wrong shape. Or, perhaps, it’s been damaged.

Deek seems determined to never have Lucky & Flaco over again…he’s at war with his own demons, mistaking them for me. But that’s how they operate, and Deek is just too clueless to know that. Though I’ve tried many times, to explain. I’d have given up on him months ago, if it weren’t for the doggies. Last night was BITCHIN’ cold, and knowing the pups were out there did NOT make me feel very well. I have utterly NO respect for Deek at this point, but I hide it well.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Maybe he ain’t so evil after all…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 26, 2021 5:22 PM

…as he just showed up again only MOMENTS after I posted my last missive wherein I called him wicked…and he handed the pups over to me, said: “I’ll be back tomorrow. Thanks!” And off he went, in a rush for only god knows where, and why. He TIMED it, knowing, somehow, I had just accused him of being a vile person. This is no coincidence, Wattson. This is my Bodhisattva Premise continuing to affirm its truthfulness to me.

By now, you are well familiar with this premise (perhaps overly so), thus no need for me to hash it all out again. Just look at it as a play, a brilliant script, and admire the timing of my many challenges, and their juxtaposition. They are ACTORS on the stage we call the world, setting up the ultimate scenario, the final act, where I will be celebrated as the star of this show, the hero! And one of these thespians just happens to be Deek. Which I have cited numerous times before, and as to why I see it that way, in detail.

So now while I type upon the keyboard nestled in my lap, Flaco & Lucky are deep in Doggie Dreamland, loving the comfort of my cushy cot piled with kids’ sleeping bags…and my many hugs and caresses. But I made sure they had some ducky treats first! Flaco’s eyes light up like a lighthouse beacon the moment I break out the snacks.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: I have also given some consideration that this Comcast debacle was also scripted, simply because they enjoy how calmly and equitably I deal with crises. They are tricksters, too! And I guess having a good laugh over this, back at the office or whatever stands in for a workplace in this time of plague.

Comcast’s CET (chief executive trickster)

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