The Eviction Fiasco (part 8)

[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 5: Chapter 25]

Subject: Officer Ibarra never got back to me…
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 11, 2022 at 12:39 PM

…regarding sending me a copy of the “evidence” photo and video. Which snapshot BTW was a blowup of someone’s foot on an 8.5×11 printout, that indicated maybe a scratch or maybe not, as it was on the grainy side…Ibarra said it was taken a week after the incident. Didn’t look like much of anything to me, nor did I agree to view the video right there and then, which he offered to do on his phone. “No, that won’t be necessary,” I replied with a dismissive hand.

Nor did Ibarra ever show up to speak with the doggies’ owner, or even reply to my text that Deek and hounds are here. Just as well, because Deek is already known by the cops who walk the Castro beat…and who HAVE made efforts to encourage him to keep the pups leashed at all times, and take better care of them. So if Ibarra really wants to talk with him, he’s a piece of cake to track down without my assistance.

One thing I should note about Ibarra’s visit at my door, which I forgot to mention, is that he claimed the video PROVES the dogs are “vicious and dangerous.” Obviously, he wanted me to admit that and/or explode in fury over such an accusation. I did neither. In fact, I remained downright calm, didn’t even offer any opposition but remained silent and poker-faced.

The thing here is: using the phrase “vicious and dangerous” repeatedly is a ploy by the building manager, the complainant and the cop to have the dogs put down. Since once a canine is so labeled by the law, that is what results. WHICH WILL NOT HAPPEN, since if the resident was indeed bitten, it was barely a scrape, no blood shed, no skin broken. And no one in their right mind would perceive the dogs’ behavior as an “attack,” but crack up over their bravado, instead. Furthermore:

That dog bite law site says the attack and/or bite must be regarded as “serious” to justify a lawsuit. Which suit can NOT be triggered by either the complainant or the cop who files a report.


In most jurisdictions, when a person “brings charges” he is simply making a report to the police or sheriff. The officers take the report. It then is reviewed by a detective and, if the detective deems the incident to be sufficiently serious, he or she further investigates it. The detective attempts to determine whether enough witnesses and evidence seem to prove the commission of a crime beyond a reasonable doubt.

At regular intervals, the detectives bring their case files to the local prosecutor’s office. The files are put into three piles: do nothing, file this case if you want, and definitely file this case. The prosecutors read all three piles, or just two of them, or just one of them. There are more detectives at the prosecutor’s office who may or may not do some investigating of their own. Eventually, the prosecutor commences criminal proceedings, or doesn’t.

The point of all this is that it is the prosecutor who brings the criminal charges, not the complaining person or the police. Furthermore, it is the prosecutor who decides what those charges will be, not the complaining person, and not the police.


The manager’s failure to offer up any evidence of a bite–even though I challenged him to do just that via a text message–and instead go straight to Ablahblah’s lawyer and file a 3-day notice to quit, is a strike against him.

As for obtaining photo and video evidence, I’m sure Ms. Elvensborn will get around to it, by contacting either Kevin or the building’s attorney some day soon.

My conclusion: too much drama queen nonsense, not enough cowbell! Now, my Bodhisattva Premise on this matter:

My nerves are being further tweaked, a final tune-up so to speak, by hurling such upsetting accusations in my face. NOT that they’re “testing” my mettle, though they will surely report back to their boss (whom I suspect is Arwyn Miles) a most impressive display of serenity and compassion by THIS pro-queer-homeless activist and pro-canine pilgrim! But rather, they are ASSISTING me in figuring out how to rid myself of any vestigial negative emotions that may still lurk in a dark corner or two of my psyche.

I believe that this eviction debacle is my FINAL challenge, and that a report of my sterling behavior when confronted by this latest Demon of Fear (through the visages of Kevin, the complainant, the officer and a 3-day notice by Ablahblah’s attorney), will now open the door to the next level of my existence:

SUCCESS…GLOBAL LEADERSHIP…TREMENDOUS KUDOS…MASSIVE PUBLICATION OF MY TALES…MONETARY WINDFALLS ONE AFTER ANOTHER IN PERPETUITY THAT’LL MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN…and so forth. Deek, the pooches and yours truly shall soon have a lovely, uber-spacious dwelling with a resplendent backyard where Flaco & Lucky can run and play and rest to their little heart’s content without any further hostile threats or disruptions in their darling lives!

BTW, Kevin has NOT mentioned your letter of mercy delivered unto his door just three days ago. Nor do I believe he ever will, as I’m sure he’s been instructed by their attorney to not speak with me, except for the usual managerial duties. Which, bemusedly enough, occurred only yesterday via voicemail:

My phone rang yesterday morning and, since I saw it was from Kevin, did not pick up. Though I thought maybe it’s not something alarming (such as another complaint about the dogs, just to rub MORE salt into my wound), but a bit of good news, such as: they’re dropping the eviction case, a compliment about what a good friend I have in you, or scheduling my next bedbug treatment. Yes, good doctor, even a bedbug appointment would be good news compared to anything that has to do with eviction or “vicious, dangerous dogs!”

I waited several minutes before checking the voicemail. Turned out that Paolo our pest management guru, wants to caulk the walls of my unit, and those of my adjoining neighbors. And he’d like to get it all done tomorrow. So I called back, and said on HIS voicemail:

“Sounds like a good idea, though rather short notice! What time will Paolo drop by, and what must I do to prepare?”

Well, his second voicemail came out garbled towards the end, making it sound like he’ll caulk my walls some time “after me.” Though the first half he clearly stated that no preparation is ready; just make sure the walls aren’t dirty. BTW his voice these past few months sounds awfully [scratchy/gravelly/raspy…take your pick]. like he smokes five packs a day even though AFAIK he does NOT suck on emphysema sticks, pipes or hookahs at all. So I suspect this garbled effect is NOT due to poor cell service, although I suggested that when I phoned him once more:

“Hello again, the last part of your voicemail came out garbled, and because of that I still don’t know around what time Paolo will stop by to caulk my room. And whether or not I need to move furniture away from the walls to get to the baseboards, if he’s gonna do them, too. Sorry to bother you with another call, but it looks like my voicemail service is flaking out today.”

Around twelves minutes I received another voicemail from Kevin, saying I don’t even need to move the furniture, and he’ll drop by some time “after me.” And that I could just call Paolo to verify the time.

Well, I did just an hour or so later, yet no response from Paolo has been forthcoming, and it’s now the next day. However, later on yesterday afternoon, I saw Kevin hobbling down the stairs as I stepped out of my room. So I addressed him:

“My voicemail screwed up BOTH your messages about when Paolo will be over, so could you tell me now?”

“Sometime tomorrow afternoon,” he replied in that shockingly raspy timbre.

“Okay, thanks,” I said, and as I proceeded down the stairs, added the following declaration:

“These cell phone services aren’t always the wonderful conveniences they like to claim they are!”

“No they’re not,” he answered back just before I placed my first step onto the tiled lobby and exited the building.

So here I be, seated at my desk and writing out this missive…and it is now almost 12:30 PM. With NO idea WHEN the exterminator will show up, except a vague “some time in the afternoon.” Just a few minutes ago I texted Kevin the following:

That’s better than doing the voice shit back and forth, back and forth at this point, wouldn’t you agree, Wattson? No such thing as a “raspy” text!

Deek’s meetup was fine last night, where he delivered his gizmos to my “charge” (‘scuse pun) then camped out on the corner alongside the bus stop. Dogs hardly barked at all for the three-plus hours they were there, and Deek himself was quiet, whether playing his rap music softly, or chatting with a fellow drifter. BTW:

I checked my email shortly after crawling out of bed, to find the latest Reddit daily update of select posts from subs I’m subscribed to, with THIS subject title right at the top of the list:

“I finally talked to my mother about taking my hijab off.”

OMG what a way to start the day, eh, good physician?

– Zeke K-Holmes

Re: Officer Ibarra never got back to me…
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 11, 2022 at 5:07 PM

> So Officer Ibarra had no intention of doing any kind of followup; all he wanted was to weasel info from you to confirm that the dogs are “vicious and dangerous.”

Because there’s NO proof they are, hoping therefore to trip me up. I’m sure Kevin was eavesdropping from the floor above. I’m sure Ibarra RECORDED everything I said, so I’m glad he allowed me time to speak an EARFUL about the abuse I’ve suffered over many years, from our present manager, and all previous ones. Ha ha, I turned the tables!

> From what the dog bite site says, that “evidence” would have gone into one of those three piles, most likely the “do nothing” pile. Seems unlikely that this “case” would attract the attention of a prosecutor.

Exactly, DEFINITELY the “do nothing” pile. And should the complainant play out some drama before a judge or mediator over how traumatized he was from two little doggies attacking him, he could be charged with perjury…or some other kind of illegal distortion.

> Your encounter with Kevin, under these crazy circumstances, is totally Twilight Zone…

As was the bathroom scenario seven days ago, when I opened the door to see him standing there bearing rolls of toilet paper in his arms…kinda like Donald Trump when he visited Puerto Rico.

It’s in the script, I’m sure of it, Wattson! Step outside of the diorama, and you’ll see what a BRILLIANT series of interconnected tales they are. So well orchestrated and condensed into lyrical rhythms stretched over time, these tales strongly suggest an immensely TALENTED playwright’s invention, rather than such astounding occurrences, coming one right after another, that could never POSSIBLY manifest in the mundane world. A story of EPIC proportion, like Beowulf, The Iliad and Dante’s Inferno (but a few examples). Only expressed through a most ORDINARY life lived out by a humble person of limited means in the 21st century.

The monsters, the Herculean challenges hurled my way, the (sometimes-rather-frequently) “deus ex machina” intercession of this or that deity…usually from an unexpected, sudden turn in fate, or manifest in the cloak of a kind person (often a stranger that appears out of the blue) to bless me with words of succor. Or, in certain RARE cases, in the guise of a powerful person, such as Magdalena Elvensborn, my incredible attorney. Or some burly dude who appears like magic, to chase away some terrifying hellion about to slice me to shreds, rip my head off with his gaping maw, or pound me into a hematic pulp right there on the concrete.

And you, Mr Dear Wattson, guide and watch me from afar, like the Goddess of Compassion looking down on me from a cloud up high, offering me constant words of encouragement, praise and FAITH in my spirit. Can you imagine what a STUPENDOUS saga my Brindlekin Tales will make for an animated film, or a Broadway musical?

There are the tricksters, the fools, the clowns, interspersed throughout my adventures to add color and humor to my magnum opus. And beautiful men, intelligent men…and handsome rogues aplenty! But most of all, and best of all:

Two utterly endearing doggies of lustrous, golden fur and a joyful heart come rain, come shine, and come everything in between.

Those who play my enemy, such as Kevin et al, are doing so in FULL AWARENESS OF THEIR ROLE, in spite of their great admiration they hold for me in their hearts. They HUMBLE themselves, sacrifice their OWN happiness and fulfillment for a time, that I may rise up to vanquish ALL wickedness…and in so doing, summon the attention and admiration of MILLIONS of good souls across the globe. Do I dare say BILLIONS? Thus triggering the rapid transition into a glorious era, with LGBTs standing at the helm to guide the rest of us into this new, and remarkable, reality.

At any rate, isn’t it ALWAYS more fun to play the wicked witch, than the shimmering princess on the stage or in a movie? My faux enemies are working with incredible diligence to MAKE ME INTO THE HERO on this vast stage we call planet earth.

A lotus blossoms by The Bay, and that’s ME, baby! (Think Austin Powers now, saying that.)

The visit with my attorney was fabulous…went on for maybe 45 minutes, wherein I spoke of my OWN life experiences and goals, outside of this eviction imbroglio.

She cracked up when I described the benefit of wearing a mask (bad teeth), and how it also benefits me by hiding my old-man wattle. She learned of my losing dental care due to major Medicaid cutbacks under the Clinton administration…and how restoration of these and other services were STILL beyond my reach under Obamacare, because the monthly Share of Cost remained intact and astronomically expensive…almost HALF my income! I then elaborated a bit regarding the rotten condition of my mouth:

“It’s humiliating for sure, and I’ve learned to smile with my lips sealed. However, seeing as homeless outreach IS my mission, I’d think that the poor condition of my anti-pearly whites (that is, what few remain) would make someone forced to live on the streets more receptive to what I have to say. For it shows them I “walk the walk,” whereas had I sported a flashy set of ivories, they would be more likely to mock me as hypocrite.”

Also told her about my history of borderline schizophrenia and severe depression. How I lost talk therapy as result, and how Medicaid eliminated non-medicated therapy anyway, and I refuse to ingest such toxic drugs as a prerequisite to seeing a shrink on Medicaid, for any reason whatsoever, fuck diagnosis. Talk therapy is a lot more EXPENSIVE than just popping capsules into one’s system that turn you into a lobotomized zombie. Wanna fly over the cuckoo’s nest with me, anyone?

“There’s no help out there,” she agreed.

I described how Jung’s teachings have LIBERATED my spirit, and saved my sanity. They gave me the tools to get a handle on schizophrenia via his outstanding theory of archetypes on three levels: the universal, the cultural and the personal. And how one can TRANSFORM this accursed malady into a powerful creative force once you overcome all obstacles associated with it. Not by beating down the demons in our head, but by beFRIENDING them. IOW you don’t SLAY the dragon, you seek instead ways to touch his heart and win his trust forever. NOT an easy task, I should note! MANY frightening challenges along the way. But so goes the Hero’s Journey; there is no way around it.

In addition, I declared to her my ultimate goal, my greatest dream as a social justice warrior on behold of my queer brothers and sisters (and those who fall somewhere in the spectrum between the two):

“ALL my writings are in the public domain, so long as I receive full credit as the author. I hope that one day our LGBT community will TAKE those tales, poems, essays and letters and PUBLISH them, and collect ZILLIONS of dollars in profit…thus empowering our cause greatly, and across the world. And all *I* ask in exchange is a mere two percent OF said profits.”

Before we ended our astounding meetup, I told her it’s a great honor and joy to meet her. And that, in expressing my own spiritual beliefs, I do not intend to proselytize, as I respect ALL different worldviews, including those that are atheist by nature.

So whaddya think of all THAT, good physician? I had loads of fun typing this out, boy howdy and woo-hoo! And now it’s time to whip up a whole wheat tortilla filled with mashed cannellini beans (from several cans I found in a small box on the sidewalk that included OTHER beans: pinto, black and garbanzo), and adorned with strips of both mozzarella and sharp cheddar cheese, and lightly coat it all with two tablespoons of mild salsa, and one from a small jar of basil pesto that I just purchased from that corner store on Noe & 17th…the one where that sweet elderly clerk admired my Palestine mask!

The pesto is expensive BTW: $6.99 for a scant six ounces! But I think it’s time for me to celebrate a little and let my hair down for once. I may not HAVE any, but that’s neither here nor there, for a girl can DREAM, now can’t she?

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: Oh, yeah, Paolo showed up only minutes after I posted my last email to you. He told me that the caulking chore would only take a half hour at the most, and I could return to my hovel immediately, as no pesticides are involved. “But you can certainly stay here, if you like,” he said. “You won’t be in my way.” I told him no thanks, I get claustrophobic with another person in my room on a hot day like this. I’ll just hang around outside in the shade and return in twenty minutes. Which is EXACTLY what I did…believe it or not.

Subject: I didn’t know they were transgender until yesterday!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 11, 2022 at 8:42 PM

Andrea a.k.a. Cyberdemon531, has become my FAVORITE news vlogger only three weeks after discovering them. Just yesterday I watched one of their excellent videos, where they spoke of their transgender identity. REMARKABLE human being. Here’s that particular video I hope you can spare the 7.5 minutes it takes to watch:

Subject: The Love in His Eyes!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 12, 2022 at 12:31 PM

When I was figuring out which two Deek videos to show Kind Warlock, I selected both from his “Buddha” phase, meaning while he wore the Buddha trinket he gave me as a gift, but then a week later requested to wear it himself. That was in early April of last year. I immensely enjoyed watching some of those Deek videos, but after viewing several times that SECOND one I sent to Warlock, I was struck by something I’ve never noticed before: the affection in Deek’s eyes! Here it is, Wattson, starting at 47 seconds…just watch for 10 seconds, and you’ll see TWICE his loving glance at yours truly:

So, yesterday Deek dropped by, first in the afternoon, then later at night. During the first meetup that day, I collected his electronics for a fresh charge, and brought back two bowls of water for the hounds. (Why two instead of my usual one? Because when I reordered this item, I wound up receiving bowls that held 4 ounces less than the previous ones…and due to my limited budget I had to make do.)

When I returned with the water, Deek was chatting with someone straddling a bike and leaning over to hear his words through the din of traffic. As I set the bowls down, Deek turned to me from where he sat against the lamppost and said:

“Thank you for everything, Zeke!”

At first I thought it was his usual, occasonal expression of gratitude, so just said “You’re welcome!” as I continued to pet the doggies while they slurped up the H2O in great appreciation, curly tails a-wagging. But then he said:

“No, I really mean it!”

And with THAT addendum, my attention was grabbed. I turned my face towards his, and he flashed me a most sincere grin and a wink. We connected! For the first time, actually! So, in order to acknowledge his truly kind outreach, I returned his smile with a slow nod of my head to affirm our friendship (as if to say “A-yep!”), then headed back hovel with a song in my heart. And it wasn’t YMCA by the Village People, I assure you, Wattson.

Deek’s 11:45 PM stopover was uneventful and magnificent at the same time. He kept the pooches tethered to a shopping cart parked by the bus stop while picking up his devices where I stood by the open gate. Lucky & Flaco, of course, were gazing at me with great expectation…but the idea is not to get their hopes up (that they come visit me), and my approaching them for hugs and kisses would just make Deek’s departure that much more difficult. They didn’t bark or excitedly jump about, but patiently awaited their master’s return seconds later. The hearbreak over this new, but drastically necessary, arrangement is barely a twinge in my bosom at this point, because I now realize ultimate success and happiest of all possible endings to my Brindlekin Tales, is inevitable.

And Deek knows it too, though words never spoken.

– Zeke K-Holmes

Re: I didn’t know they were transgender until yesterday!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 12, 2022 at 1:05 PM

> And very young, too!

Just turned 26, wherein they announced in some of their recent videos that means they just lost their gov’t subsidized health insurance. Andrea also lost their mother some years back, due to cancer that she couldn’t get treated thanks to lack of decent health care that she couldn’t pay out of her own pocket. They’re a high school dropout to boot!

Andrea also has a wonderful rescue dog they call Max. But a few days ago I came across their video stating that he’s now at the vet’s being treated for heartworms…but hopefully their beloved companion will be returned home the next day, fully recovered. Turns out this sweet canine, who was severely abused in its earlier years before its adoption by Andrea, had heartworms all along. Which is very sad, because long-term heartworms may be impossible to cure. Don’t know yet what the outcome was.

I consider Cyberdemon531 the newest, and greatly beloved, member of our family. In that “Texas Trans Teen” video, I posted the following comment a short while ago:


I did NOT know you’re transgender until watching this video…which just adds aNOTHER facet of “amazing” to your already-amazing personality. Please accept my apology for perhaps using the wrong pronouns in any earlier comment, if I did that at all (can’t remember). You have become my all-time FAVORITE news vlogger since I discovered you barely one month ago. Strong indications in my life these days suggest a VERY high likelihood of my writings and YT channel exploding in popularity some time very soon. And TWO of your videos are already featured in my WordPress blog (as well as much PRAISE for your outstanding LGBTQ+ activism)…which I’m sure will give your own popularity a MAJOR boost, once my tales and videos take a quantum leap into worldwide recognition.

Transgender folks have played an ESSENTIAL role in social and moral guidance for their people throughout human history. (I originally was going to say “spiritual guidance,” but out of respect for your atheist stance, I wrote “social” instead. I myself am an “animist” and student of world religions and all other cultural worldviews, including from the pre-civilized past…but I am NOT here to proselytize.) The fact that I majored in Cultural Anthropology (with a focus on Native Americans) at college has enlightened me about transgenderism…along with being a child of the Sixties Free Speech Revolution. And now, once more, transgender activists are carrying the torch to lead the rest of the world into a new, and MUCH better, era: the TRUE “Age of Aquarius.” I know it’s corny to describe it that way, but hey, it’s also fun, and a girl (or guy or transgender or nonbinary) can dream, can’t she/he/they?


– Zeke K-Holmes

Re: I didn’t know they were transgender until yesterday!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 12, 2022 at 1:30 PM

> “I know it’s corny to describe it that way, but hey, it’s also fun, and a girl (or guy or transgender or nonbinary) can dream, can’t she/he/they?”
> Good one!!


Re: [MCN-Announce]- Fox News Airs GREAT Trans Rights Segment, And Ben Shapiro Loses It
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: MCN announce list, MCN discussion list
Date: June 12, 2022 at 1:35 PM

On 2022-06-12 12:46, Alvin Hock wrote:

> “All you have to do is recognize their humanity. That’s it.” Awesome. Thank you for this post, Zeke.

You are QUITE welcome, Alvin. In case some folks on this list haven’t figured it out yet: I am here to serve humanity to the best of my abilities.

Including serving the choicest cuts of breeder homophobes and transphobes in sizzling frying pans, smothered in fava beans and with a fine Chianti to wash it all down.

Re: I didn’t know they were transgender until yesterday!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 12, 2022 at 1:39 PM

> Ferocious intelligence!

OMG I can’t praise them enough. No wonder Andrea dropped out of high school…their wings were jonesing to flap like a boss!

Subject: Deek’s Screaming Was Over The Top Tonight!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 12, 2022 at 11:24 PM

But at least it was before 10 PM. I was collecting his gadgets as he handed each one to me, while sitting in a corner of the ATM nook with the pups…who I had just pet and hugged for a few sweet minutes. After dropping four items into the plastic grocery bag hanging from my forearm, he started to search his pockets for his two battery chargers, but came up with zilch.

“They’re in my cart over there,” he said while pointing towards the further end. “Can you get them for me, you can’t miss ’em.”

So I pawed through a pile of clothing and plastic gewgaws, but didn’t see anything like a battery pack or two. So I just looked up at him and shrugged my shoulders:

“You’ll have to get up and find them yourself, I’m not gonna rummage through this pile, Deek,”

That’s when he exploded at the top his lungs: why are you nagging me…get the fuck outta my face…etc., etc., etc. I won’t bother describing to you the specifics of his accusations, since we’ve already been through this before, many times. The poor doggies sat on the other side of the cart, not cowering per se, but calmly waiting till the storm blows over.

I refused to leave when he told me to, several times with a voice as loud as a foghorn. But told him calmly to simmer down, you have no right to come to my building and scream and tell me to get out of your face. I will NOT leave until you stop acting like a crazy man. He finally subsided, and I asked him why he’s doing this, you know I’m in the middle of a possible lawsuit and eviction, you’re just making things worse by angering my neighbors. Who could slap aNOTHER lawsuit on me, for bring a friend to me building who’s being a noisy nuisance.

Thank god some other friendly vagrant who knows him showed up, and started conversing with Deek, so I could bring the gadgets upstairs and plug them in. I also brought water for the pups, and a fresh supply of dog food…by which time Deek was back to a stable state of mind. He actually APOLOGIZED for his behavior, so I replied while leaning over the ATM alcove’s rail to speak to him in a soft voice:

“Actually, Deek, it’s okay. Just expect me to react, I’m not gonna walk away from ANYone who insults me and calls me names. You don’t understand yet, but YOU just had a major anxiety attack and took it out on me. Believe it or not, I suffered anxiety attacks for years, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. They’re AWFUL!”

So now all’s quiet on the Western Front once more, and I’m back upstairs typing this missive and listening to Marshall McCoy’s latest Memo of the Weird podcast. Another hour from now, he’ll take back his electronics and depart with the doggies elsewhere. I can enjoy my bedtime watching a good flick and drifting off to sleep to rest up for another new day. Important to note:

Deek’s NEVER apologized before for ANYthing. So this is another breakthrough.

Though I DO have to keep in mind that my no longer sitting the hounds weighs on him heavily, though he won’t admit it. And thus may be a cause for any current emotional eruptions.

Flaco and Lucky want so badly to rest in my sanctuary, I can’t tell you how sweet they are to me, even though they realize that won’t happen any more…at least, not until the REAL magic happens. Which I expect to manifest any day now.

The doggies snuggle up to me, Flaco the one usually on my lap. They curl up or sit beside me like loyal friends who, while they might not understand the specifics of my plight, know something bad is going on, but that I still love them dearly…so they behave with a noble spirit, not a whimper out of either one, just respect. The time Deek allows me to be with them during any meetup is five minutes at best.

Did you know Andrea also is a topnotch gamer? Every week they record a two or three hour video of them playing DOOM like a champ, while also talking to herself from time to time about this or that topic, sometimes replying to a comment in the chat bar when someone pops in on real time. Anyway, I’m telling you this, Wattson, as back story for this comment I posted to one of their Doom videos two days ago:

“The only way I ever come out the winner playing Doom (or any other PC shoot-em-up game) is with God Mode turned on. So I’m just gonna sit back and watch the carnage you create by pure, unadulterated SKULL. Oops, I mean SKILL. Great way to relax at night in bed, munching on the corpses of mine enemies.”

Andrea clicked on the “love it” button in response, two days later. They also produce 45-minutes or longer (up to 1.5 hours) news commentary that is most EXCELLENT, with outlandish titles such as:

“Literally The Hottest & Smartest Electro Bimbo On Earth Does A Show”

“Dog Mom Who Loves Her Max Dog Reports On News Stories, Maybe A Film”

“The Most Intelligent Broad In America Does A Show With Froge_foibles”

“Very Depressed & Hot Dog Mom Does A Show While Doggy Is In Surgery”

“Extremely Beautiful And Also BIG SMART Electro Babe Does A Program”

They also produce funky cooking shows, reminiscent of my cooking parody videos, but more practical in their own silly way. Such as:

“VEGAN Stuffed Peppers With A BANGIN SAUCE! Ghost Pep, Onion, Tofu, Etc. | Cooking With The Bitch #15”

In sum: Cyberdemon351 has been rockin’ my world since I first discovered them only three or four weeks ago!

The brindlekin have hardly barked at all tonight, BTW. They’re more responsible at this point than their master, when it comes to not being a nuisance when camped near my building, “Hotel California North!” Half hour to go before midnight and I return his toys. It’s a lovely, cool night with light ocean breezes and the rainbow flag by my window languidly waves.

– Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: Latest email from my attorney…
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 13, 2022 at 9:13 AM

…which showed up just moments ago:

“Mr. Krahlin: I hope you are doing well and had a good weekend. After some thinking, I still would like to reach out to the landlord’s attorney to tell them that the dog is gone and if they will accept your rent. Please let me know if you agree and I will reach out to him.”

To which I responded:

“Yes, I agree to that. However, Officer Ibarra never got back to me with sending a copy of the image of the supposed bite, nor sent me the associated video, or a link to it. He hasn’t responded at all, nor has he approached my friend who owns the dogs and spoken with him. and thus ends my communication with any cop regarding this issue. The picture he showed me (the day he dropped by) of the alleged dog bite was on an 8.5×11 printout, and was grainy. It showed a person’s foot, but I couldn’t even see so much as a scratch. He said the photo was taken one week after the alleged incident. So unless you get to see that photo first (and, hopefully, the video) admission of a bite would be premature at this point…because you have not yet seen any evidence. Again, I affirm: go ahead and talk with their attorney, sounds good to me. My days have been outstanding, thanks for asking, Ms. Elvensborn!”

But shortly after sending her my reply, I decided to also email this:


Subject: “Vicious and dangerous?”

Another issue I need to bring up, is the repetitive accusation by Kevin Bond, our resident manager, that the dogs are “vicious and dangerous.” Officer Ibarra even declared that the video clip taken from the lobby camera proves that they are, indeed, “vicious and dangerous.” (I haven’t seen that video, yet, BTW. Ibarra offered to show it to me on his phone, but I declined, saying it’s not necessary.) Using such a harsh term is a setup or prelude to putting those two lovely, sweet natured pups down, that is: kill them. The pups have small, weak jaws, so even if they DID bite anyone, calling them “vicious and dangerous” is way over the top.

My conclusion: this minor incident is being used as an excuse to evict me and/or cause great distress in my world. Why would they do that? Because some people are hateful towards the homeless, and towards anyone who advocates for them, such as yours truly. Not everyone in my building is like that, but at least several are, including the manager…as proven by his childishly hostile letter he taped to my door regarding the conflict I had with Myrtle Haversak and her son, Adisa. (Who lived down the hall from me, but one day abruptly moved out, much to my delight.) I already provided you with a link to that letter in a previous email, but here it is again. Notice what he says about my homeless friend.

There are other reasons I’ve experienced hostility (and still do) because I am a hard core “leftie” progressive, in the midst of many in our LGBT community who have swung to the right. Also, my living on a gov’t subsidy, that is, being poor, paying very low rent thanks to rent control, and the stigmatization of my rotten teeth have all added up to put me in a precarious situation regarding social status and community acceptance. I have, as a result, lived a mostly isolated social life for decades, once our American society started to shift with a vengeance towards the political right.

Thank you once again for your thoughtful attention, Ms. Elvensborn!


Re: Latest email from my attorney… ADDENDUM
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 13, 2022 at 10:09 AM

I just reread my attorney’s letter from this morning, and realized she only mentioned ONE dog, quote:

“I still would like to reach out to the landlord’s attorney to tell them that the dog is gone.”

So I posted her back, the following:

“Just to be clear on this: BOTH dogs are gone. I evicted them four or five days after I received my 3-day notice to quit. They are now with their owner 24/7, who is handling this difficult situation with surprising maturity.”

Subject: Yet one more email to my attorney!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 13, 2022 at 10:41 AM


Subject: You need to see the pups for yourself!

VERY sorry to be sending you a third email in such a short span of time. But these videos clearly reveal the hounds’ harmless nature…and their half-dachshund status. I already gave you a link to my “Doggies” playlist, but I’m under the impression you’ve not checked it out yet. I think it’s important at this point that you see exactly the type of dogs they are. So here are three videos from that list…they’re all rather brief. This is my last email to you for today, I promise.

There Goes the Box

The Howling

Morning Corner Greets (shows them outside with their sleeping master)


Subject: My attorney’s reassuring reply:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 13, 2022 at 10:59 AM

Just landed in my mailbox a minute ago:

“Mr. Krahlin, please be assured that I watched some of the videos of the puppies that you had sent me last week already. It is important to know what type of dog we are talking about. I am not familiar with the type of dog (or rather not with any type of dog), so that is why I had asked you about that earlier and I received your response to that email as well.”

Re: Yet one more email to my attorney!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 13, 2022 at 12:00 PM

> Emphasis should also be on their size; as I mentioned before, they’re not exactly Presa Canarios…

I already told her that, several times, both in person and via email, such as, quote:

“A ridiculous scene when you consider two little doggies barking like big, mean dogs when it’s obvious they wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Regardless, Ms. Elvensborn just posted another email telling me she HAS viewed some of the doggy videos, so their diminutive size is definitely established. Let’s see how her conversation with Ablahblah Realty’s attorney goes, and we’ll take it from there. This should be interesting, to say the least…especially in light of my lawyer’s reminder that they (building manager and their attorney) have no idea yet, that I have my own legal counsel now, via Bay Area Legal Aid.

Re: My attorney’s reassuring reply:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: June 13, 2022 at 3:07 PM

> It’s clear in the videos that these are small dogs. Even if they wanted to kill you, they couldn’t!

Mine enemies are barking up the wrong tree! Wait’ll they discover the ferocious beast lurking quietly at the bottom in the dark of night, to gobble them up once they climb back down.

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