[Brindlekin Tales – Book 7: Chapter 26]
Subject: Wait a minute!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2023 at 12:09 AM
Rereading this statement by ChatGPT:
“The information shared between the dismissed defendant and their attorney is typically protected by attorney-client privilege and may not be shared with others without the client’s consent.”
I am both attorney AND client, since I represent myself. And as client I give my attorney permission to share my list of rebuttals with the other defendant’s attorney. Voilà!
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: Marshall finally groks my doggy venture!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2023 at 11:17 AM
As demonstrated by his introduction to my tale from last Friday, “The JBL Blues.” It’s three minutes long because prefaced by some hilarious posts on the MCN announcement list. But what he says after that is MOST appreciated:
I GOT HIM HOOKED, WATTSON! My Brindlekin Tales have grown on him over time! Which is EXACTLY what I hope to achieve with ALL my readers. Wait’ll he gets to the tiny cabin breakthrough, then my second lawsuit culminating in yet aNOTHER breakthrough re. my LARC revelation! He’s gonna wind up being my SECOND biggest fan. Who the FIRST is, I’m sure you’ll figure out soon enough. :D
His comment at the end of the story is ALSO superb (35 seconds):
Subject: My email to AblahAblah’s attorney
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2023 at 5:03 PM
Just sent it off!
–begin:
Subject: Regarding Lawsuit case #CGC-23-[xxxxxx], “Liáng v Ablahblah, Krahlin, et al”
Dear Mr. (Ms. or Mx.) Gamboa,
I am the key Defendant in this lawsuit, but because I am Judgement Proof I will soon be dismissed. However, since Plaintiff’s accusations strike me as false, grossly exaggerated or subjective, I (representing myself) decided to respond with a General Denial. Plaintiff’s attorney contacted me by phone, the day he received my Denial, and requested I email him a brief history of my sitting the two dogs in question, and an explanation for my denial of each claim listed by Plaintiff.
Since the other main Defendant, Kareem Ablahblah, is an absentee Landlord, he really has no idea what went down, and thus relied on Resident Building Manager Kevin Bond for the so-called “facts.” However, my Denials reveal quite a different story, for which reason I offer a copy of them to you, via a file stored on my Google Drive, because I believe it will help you better defend your client. Which is an exact duplicate of the email I posted to Plaintiff’s Attorney. But if you’d prefer I simply forward you that email, just say the word! Or if you’d prefer I print it out and send it off via snail mail, I’ll be happy to do that, instead. At any rate, here’s the Google Drive link to my list of Denials.
Sincerely,
Ezekiel J. Krahlin
–end
What fun, eh, Wattson? Yet again, the deity of hindsight imposed his own observations upon my weary, metaphorical shoulders:
1) NO WONDER I couldn’t remove Mr. (Ms. or Mx.) Gamboa’s E-dress from my smartphone’s list of addies in my “email to” option for sending a news article to my Thinkpad! Because I would NEED to know it later on down the line…like NOW! I had used the addie only once, to informally respond to the eviction notice, back in June 2022, and really didn’t need it anymore. Until this realization I found the unwanted address a nuisance ’cause right below my OWN addie, since the domain name starts with a “g” (gay-bible.org). Thus there is always the possibility of an accidental slip of my finger whereby I’d send it off to Gamboa instead of yours truly. I consulted with the Gmail sub in Reddit, whereby I learned this is a glitch and IMPOSSIBLE to resolve.
2) I FINALLY came across the missing summons this morning, for which I had to request another copy. I had absentmindedly tossed it into one of my vertical storage bins which I use exclusively for dried or packaged food such as lentils, popcorn, small boxes of tea, and so on (see pic). You can see it right at the bottom, sticking out and sealed in a quart-size Ziploc. The countless times I’ve opened that little door (since the summons went missing) and reached down for my Akmak crackers kept fresh in the same kinda baggy, I never noticed the summons! Prolly coz it was lodged deeper inside, except today it slipped forward. Sneaky little gremlin!
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: Marshall finally groks my doggy venture!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2023 at 2:42 PM
> Wonderful clips, both of them.
Priceless!
> I like Marshall’s interpretation of Deek yelling!
Right on the mark-o!
Subject: BIG step backward…what heartbreak!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2023 at 6:43 PM
Deek dropped by just a short while ago. So when I stepped out he was already in the Hohokum smoke shop, with his bicycle tilted against the ATM plywood, and his large speaker in the granny cart attached to the bike’s rear with a bungee cord wrapped about the seat’s post. The doggies were confined between bicycle and wall, with little room to spare, tethered to the handlebar on that side. As I approached Flaco & Lucky, the bike suddenly slipped and would’ve crushed them had I not snatched them up with lightning reflexes! Especially since the extra weight of the speaker added to the danger.
I want to make it very clear they were secured to the bike in such a manner as to be incapable of swiftly moving out of harm’s way, as they’ve done many times before. Of course the furry angels were oblivious to all this, as I sat on the sidewalk behind the fallen bicycle, kissing and hugging them closely. About a minute later their master finally stepped back outside, so I addressed him immediately:
“How many times have I told you NOT to lash them to your bike, unless it’s already resting on its side? They could EASILY have gotten injured!”
Instead of profusely apologizing, admitting he was wrong, he tore into me:
“SHUT UP! I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT! YOU GOT THE DOGS ALL EXCITED WHEN YOU STEPPED OUT! THEY WERE FINE BEFORE YOU STEPPED OUT!”
So I tore back, with a voice just as loud:
“YOU KNEW THEY WOULD, YOU SHOULDA HAD THEM TIED TO A POST INSTEAD! BUT WHAT IF I DIDN’T STEP OUT AND SOMEONE CAME BY WITH A DOG AND THEY GOT WILD BARKING AT IT! I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE TO STOP THE BIKE FROM CRASHING DOWN ON THEM!”
Deek hollered further:
“YOU WANNA SPEND TIME WITH THE DOGS OR NOT? SO SHUT UP OR I’LL LEAVE AND NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN FOR MONTHS! YOU RUINED MY DAY.”
And I retorted:
“NO, YOU RUINED /MY/ DAY! STOP TURNING THE TABLES TO COVER UP YOUR CRIME! THESE LOVELY DOGS COULDA BEEN HURT, EASILY! MAN UP TO IT, OR GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”
The poor doggies were shivering in my arms, as their master persisted with his disgusting hissy fit:
“YOU’RE GETTING ME UPSET! STOP IT, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
And my rebound:
“NO, YOU GOT /ME/ UPSET, AND FOR GOOD REASON! I /WON’T/ SHUT UP BECAUSE WHAT YOU DID IS REPULSIVE, AND YOU REFUSE TO MAN UP!”
He then picked up their leashes, grabbed his bike and started to walk away in the direction of Castro Street. So I stood up and continued to bellow:
“SHAME ON YOU! YOUR DOGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR ELECTRONICS! THOSE SWEET CREATURES WHO LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YET YOU PUT THEM IN DANGER WHEN THAT CAN BE AVOIDED…EASILY! ONLY SOMEONE FUCKED IN THE HEAD WOULD DO SUCH A THING! THAT’S SHAMEFUL! YOU’RE A FOOL, AN IDIOT!”
He did NOT turn around, nor did he scream back at me. I walked in his direction about twenty feet to be sure he could hear me shriek “SHAME!” three more times.
I have NO idea when I’ll see him and the dogs again, but no way am I gonna pretend that didn’t happen. I will speak with him further next time he shows up, warn him if I ever see him tying the dogs to a standing or tilted bike again, he will lose my friendship and all the amenities that go with it. And I will emphasize to him what he did is ANIMAL ABUSE, and should either pup get injured due to his thoughtless disregard I will call Animal Control, have him arrested and press charges against him.
And here I was in the middle of composing a missive praising Deek’s improved manners, attitude, neat appearance and good health, when he called up to my window and I quckly ran downstairs with a merry heart. In sum:
This is very bad, Wattson.
– Zeke K-Holmes
P.S.: Like every other crisis, this is a test scripted by my bodhisattva guardians. So with THAT in mind, the ONLY way this incident can be fully resolved is for him to humbly admit his crime and swear up and down he’d NEVER put the pooches in that horrid situation again. And since Deek is the player in this scenario, intentionally setting me up to see how I’d react (or better said: to manifest another incident where I get to play the hero), he will do just that. ‘Cause it’s all staged, anyway. Nevertheless, until he seriously mans up (if he ever does) I see NO other option than to keep on berating the jackass every time I see him.
Re: BIG step backward…what heartbreak!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2023 at 9:35 PM
> So sorry. Such a bummer. But you saved the doggies, and that’s what counts.
Yeah, this time.
Subject: One amazing thing I’ve noticed about rap and hip-hop:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2023 at 9:41 PM
[SIDEBAR: Now, where was I before the near-tragedy occurred? Oh, yeah, writing praiseworthy things about Deek. Since I’m more than halfway done with the letter (but more importantly: since what I have to say is of value to the world) I have decided to proceed with its completion and send it off.]
The lyrics are complex, multi-varied and extensive…unlike OTHER forms of pop music where it’s EASY to memorize the entire song! You’ll never see anyone singing a rap or hip-hop song in full, unlike the other genres. At best they’ll belt out a single verse or a few lines. In sum: not only are rap and hip-hop lyrics complicated as a 3-D labyrinth, but INTELLIGENT. Covering social topics of the day, and challenging the white status quo with brazen confidence! In sum:
We no longer need wonder where have all the flowers gone!
–For example, “Welcome to America” (by rap artist Lecrae):
Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon from the flight deck
We’re cruising at 37,000 feet and we just passed over the coast
We’ll be beginning our descent in about 30 minutes
I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome you to America
Ta na na na muchawa
Ta na na na muchawa
Ta na na na muchawa ta na na na na
Uh
I was made in America land of the free, home of the brave
And right up under your nose you might see a sex slave being traded
And will do anything for the money
Boy, a mamma might sell her babies
Sell porn, sell pills, anything to pay the bills
Anything to bring that paper
Gotta scratch that itch
Gotta scratch them ticks
Ain’t rich but I might be
And I’mma shoot these flicks
I’mma turn these tricks
Anything for a slight fee
Yeah, made in America
Mamma told me that I belong here
Had to earn our stripes
Had to learn our rights
Had to fight for a home here
But I wouldn’t know a thing about that
All I know is drugs and rap
I probably could have been some kind of doctor
Instead of holding guns and crack
I was born in the mainland
Great grandpa from a strange land
He was stripped away and given bricks to lay
I guess you could say he a slave hand
But I was made in America
So I don’t know a thing about that
All I know is Uncle Sam looking for me, working on his corner so I know I gotta pay tax
Getting paid in America
I was raised in America
And this is all I ever known
If I’m wrong then you better come save me America
[and it goes on, full lyrics here, video here.]
–end
I now understand PERFECTLY Deek’s adoration for Rap and Hip-Hop! While denied a decent education due to his social status as a ghetto child, he’s gotten MOST of his education through the aforementioned musical genres. He KNOWS what’s up, and his playing dumb is a game for him. He’s already THERE, Wattson, and my explaining to him why boots on the ground in the Tenderloin is a bad way to go, why everyone should have a right by birth to housing and other basic human needs (for examples) is simply wasting my breath!
No wonder he craves a Bluetooth speaker that is both LOUD and of high quality (and thus, costly): he’s a MISSIONARY spreading The Gospel of Rap and Hip-Hop…of black liberation and, by extension, of ALL human beings! And he considers it an absolute DISGRACE to disseminate words of truth and emancipation through inferior broadcasting devices.
[SIDEBAR: Note that when I say “gospel” I mean the Wisdom of Life as spread through Rap and Hip-Hop, and not necessarily of a Christian mindset. Though using such a word aids in wrenching from Jebus fanatics their claim of a monopoly on that word, as well as on all that’s good…which is utter bullshit. And why I call my OWN website “Gay Bible,” because “bible” simply means a compendium of works, and should NOT be owned by the churches, as if they are the only ones who have a right to use that word. Associating the words “gay” and “bible” is intentionally provocative on my part…though more significantly, NECESSARY, in my not-so-humble opinion.]
The goddess “Hindsight” (though I suspect she’s Pterry Pterodactyl in disguise; that wig she’s wearing looks cheap) now informs me:
“Precisely when you were singing praise to Deek, and ready to share it with the world, is when he showed up to knock you down. Think about that, Zeke…it is indeed another test. And you’ve aced it. He will soon return to eat humble pie. And NEVER lash the pups to a bike again unless it’s set down on the sidewalk, first. Glory be to YOU who did NOT succumb to fear of breaking the cord of friendship that has grown strong these past few weeks!”
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: Got my frozen cherries!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2023 at 2:54 PM
Wonderful flavor, plump, dark and sweet! Great price, too: $3.79/lb. So Trader Joe’s will be my frozen cherry source from now on…along with other fruits such as blueberry, blackberry, raspberry and mango. All for the same low price.
Frozen broccoli florets and other veggies for a good price. Most of their 2-quart fruit juices have sugar added. But one that doesn’t is the “mango and passion fruit” blend which costs only $3.99. Another juice drink I REALLY wanted to take home, a “watermelon-cucumber” blend, showed sugar on the label, way at the top. Dammit.
A lotta great jarred condiments, sauces and spreads for a low price that I’ll check out next time.
A bottle of sliced kalamata olives cost HALF the price of what the corner stores charge. Same for their roasted, red bell peppers, which for some reason have disappeared from the shelves of all THREE corner establishments, almost four months ago.
Trader Joe’s own brand of tahini costs around three-fourths the price of local shops, and is ORGANIC!
Though I WAS disappointed regarding some other products:
They no longer carry their own brand of multi-grain raisin bread, for one…just a white flour variety. And their whole wheat English muffins contain sugar. Nor do I see Ezekiel’s multi-grain English muffins or raisin bread on their shelves anymore.
Their frozen vegetarian lasagna is also gone. It was great while it lasted: a six-serving size tray for just $5.59…and scrumptious! They have a wide selection of other frozen meals, mostly meat-based, and their vegetarian/vegan options are blecch!
Their packets of sliced cheese (I like either Swiss, provolone or mozzarella) are no cheaper than what I purchase at Morey’s or the other two corner shops.
No more unsweetened soy milk by the half gallon…just those pricey quart boxes.
BUT AT LEAST I GOT THOSE FROZEN CHERRIES, which makes it all worth it. Like the caveman who hunts down his prey and brings home the bacon, bursting with pride for a job well done. I suspect in a past life I musta been an Ice Age frozen cherry hunter…imagine THAT, Wattson! Actually, easy to do if you’ve already imagined yours truly as an unfrozen caveman lawyer with a talking pterodactyl for his companion!
It wasn’t crowded, thanks to my morning schedule, and even though I had to stand in line with ten customers ahead of me, I only had to wait five minutes.
So now there’s only ONE option left for whole grain English muffins, which is where Larkin works: Mollie Stone’s. Dare I go there? After all they DO carry Rudi’s brand. I’ll have to figure out WHEN he’s not there…I think he works the afternoon/evening shift. I’ll go there tomorrow before 11 AM and keep my fingers crossed.
English muffins may be the death of me yet!
Now, on a different note:
IN CIVIL CASES, DEFENDANTS DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY
Which explains my difficult situation and why these free legal groups refuse to represent me. See:
Should the Right to an Attorney Be Extended to Civil Matters?
From which I quote: “Generally, however, the right to an attorney does not extend to civil cases, leaving the poor to navigate the legal system without representation. Poor litigants can lose substantial rights in summary proceedings where the cards are stacked against them.”
Organizations such as the American Bar Association have been fighting for decades to change that. So my pushing for it on my own would be fruitless. Eviction lawsuits are pretty much the ONLY civil cases supported by attorney representation in SOME areas of the country, those being the more progressive ones. However, they are NOT mandated under the Sixth Amendment, as are criminal matters which thus apply to all fifty states.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: The Path to Mollie Stone’s is Paved with Good Intentions
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 9, 2023 at 2:51 PM
With courage and trepidation, I girded my loins this morning and marched on down to Mollie Stone’s, and guess who was the ONLY cashier when I stepped in? LARKIN! But he was turned away from me, bent over and browsing through what I guess was the store’s weekly circular. Plus, there were shelves partially blocking his view of the lobby. So I scuttled sideways up the adjacent aisle like a crab, to disappear ASAP. Found the English muffins at the far end of the store, but sadly, the only Rudi’s brand they had left were the plain, white-flour ones. So I settled for two packages of Thomas’ “Light Multi Grain” English muffins…something my corner shops don’t carry.
Now, there was STILL the problem of checking out my items. While standing in the aisle where the muffins resided (and from where I could see Larkin bagging produce for a customer), Pterry Pterodactyl’s diminutive form alighted upon my left shoulder and whispered:
“Just do it, Zeke, nothing to worry about. [GRAAACK!] And look! Another cashier arrived, so you can go to HIM instead of your arch-nemesis!”
“But there are now TWO people in line for the second cashier, and none for Larkin…he’s just standing there!”
“Then PLACE the damn muffins BACK on the shelves and hustle your sorry ass back outside, through aisles 2 and 7 where he won’t SEE you! [GRAAACK!]” Pterry exclaimed, but with a chuckle and a glint in his peepers. “A lack of muffins is NOT the end of the world fer Yog’s sake!”
“Umm,” I hesitated, looking over my desired muffins still in hand, drooling over the thought of crunchy, yeasty goodness (slathered with “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”) upon my tongue, fulfilling my oral craving like nothing else could, in this world or the next. Larkin’s voice suddenly disrupted my reverie:
“Have a nice day, young man!” he addressed an elderly fellow with a walker on tennis balls, his purchased goods somehow secured to it in a large, cloth bag. I imagine the items contained therein were lightweight and few.
I shivered with glee as his sonorous benediction rippled through my ear drums and sparked my prefrontal cortex with a juicy burst of dopamine!
[SIDEBAR: Now THIS is a perfect example, Wattson, of how consulting with ChatGPT aided me in being scientifically accurate re. “endorphins vs. dopamine,” and whether “basal ganglia” or “prefrontal cortex” was the best way to go.]
“Well THAT really grabbed your psychic libido, didn’t it, Zeke! [GRAAACK!]“
I blushed for a nanosecond, then replied: “Okay, I’m gonna do it!” and dropped the two packages into my shopping basket.
“Good idea!” Pterry replied. “After all he ALREADY knows you’re here, and did NOT put up a fuss, right?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “He’s a sharp cookie.”
“Not only THAT, but he’s also telepathic…as you know all too well! [GRAAACK!]“
“Of course,” I acknowledged. “He probably SUMMONED me here in the first place, like he did back in 2012, led me directly to Moby Dick’s where I discovered him playing pool. Upon which I learned he recently moved from South of Market to here in the Castro, after not seeing him for almost four years, wondering what happened to him!”
“Right,” replied Pterry. “And you even WROTE about it in your book Free Me From This Bond, chapter 2…which you cleverly entitled Moby’s Dick! Hey, get this, Zeke, I actually HAVE that chapter’s URL memorized! [GRAAACK!]“
Pterry paused then, and after ten seconds or so I grew impatient and queried: “Well, what is it?”
He then took a deep breath, puffed out his chest and recited: “Zekeblog dot wordpress dot com slash two zero one two slash zero three slash two eight slash M-O-B-Y-S hyphen D-I-C-K. Whew!”
“Impressive!” I declared. “And without a single GRAAACK in the mix!”
“Aw shucks,” he shyly spoke. “But it’s really EASY to do if you’re telepathic yourself! [GRAAACK!]“
“Gee, I never thought of that,” I mused, “but it makes perfect sense!”
Pterry didn’t reply, but after a moment or two it finally dawned on me:
“Hey! If Larkin’s telepathic, and you are too, you might be in communication with him RIGHT NOW! And all my hesitation about coming here was just foolish worry on MY part!”
“Correctamundo!” he replied. “Now get THIS, Zeke, hold onto your hat please…or your muffins!” And with that, Pterry cleared his throat with another GRAAACK, then continued:
“For all PRACTICAL purposes, as applied to your situation in the here and now, I AM Larkin having fun with you! And always HAVE been! Since I first appeared in your world with that delectable little sci-fi Sherlock Holmes spoof you composed back in January, 2021, in your Brindlekin Tales chapter called Letter to the Landlord (part 2).”
“May I remind you,” he continued with another GRAAACK, “He DID take you aside one day when your paths crossed on Market Street and dramatically declared: ‘Our friendship, our being brought together, is an INCREDIBLE godsend!’“
“Yes, he did!” I replied, my heart aglow in reminiscence. “That was back in 2014, I think.”
“Exactly! [GRAAACK!] You wrote about it in a blog entry you call Stepping Into Dark Waters. There’s a good REASON he’s been bellowing nonsense on his nighttime strolls from work towards home, these past few weeks! Haven’t you…”
“You mean he’s waking me UP, preparing for us to get together again!” I interrupted. “Only THIS time on a remarkable level!”
“Bingo and graaack!” Pterry asserted. “The fantasies you’ve had on and off over the past decade or so, ABOUT this astounding reunion, were NOT just speculation, but PREMONITIONS, a foretelling BY the angels of a most incredible destiny for you both! You’re a shaman yourSELF, Zeke, and a very GOOD one at that!”
“Well graaack me with a wooden spoon!” I exclaimed, then walked up to the second cashier’s counter, even though Larkin had no one to serve at the moment. Pterry had vanished by then. My point in doing this, was to show respect towards Larkin, and not come off like a pushy old coot (“Oh, wow, you work here now, quelle surprise!”).
Besides, he would’ve called me over if he wanted, while I was patiently standing behind one-and-a-half customers. (I say “half” because the first patron was already packing her items in a large bag.)
At this point, after dropping the muffins into my backpack, there was no way I could avoid walking right BY Larkin, in order to exit Mollie Stone’s. And the path was NARROW, so coming within FOUR FEET of him could NOT be avoided! I did NOT look up at him, nor in any OTHER way, give him my attention. I couldn’t even SEE if he were lookin’ at me ’cause I held my head down till I reached the entrance and stepped back outside into the sunny, breezy-warm day. Conclusion:
I presume my weekly muffin purchases will be filled with dramatic nooks and crannies for the unforeseeable future.
– Zeke K-Holmes
Re: The Path to Mollie Stone’s is Paved with Good Intentions
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 12:59 AM
> So you and Larkin never spoke??
Nope. I surely would’ve mentioned that in my tale if we did. And put it in 72 point bold font with virtual confetti all over it, and a marching band gif.
Funny how we BOTH now have drama around Rudi’s muffins! And we both have a very difficult person in our lives to deal with, because of commitment to an ideal. In a weird kinda way we lead parallel lives.
Subject: My attorney’s reply and my response:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 1:07 PM
I just received her email twenty minutes ago.
–begin attorney’s reply:
I will follow up with the landlord’s attorney and tell him the landlord returned May rent and ask what happened with the April rent. Do you mean that the landlord did not return the April rent but it was also not deposited? Where and how do you drop off the rent checks?
–end
–and my response:
On April 25th I slipped my April rent payment in the form of a check in an envelope under the manager’s door. This is the usual method. And I did that only after texting him that my eviction case has been dropped, and I’ll shortly pay April’s rent. He texted back with a “Thank you.” To date, there is nothing on my bank account records indicating that check has been deposited. At first I figured it wasn’t going to be cashed until May’s payment, since the date is so close to April 25th. On May 3rd I slipped this month’s payment under the manager’s door. On May 5th I discovered that check returned, left at the foot of my door with his brief letter. To be clear:
I have no idea if the landlord himself actually got the check. All I know is I slipped it under the manager’s door. And it has not been deposited, according to my bank account records. The manager is very ill, maybe recovering, so perhaps he misplaced April’s check and even forgot I delivered it.
I think maybe Ablahblah Realty prefers all back rent paid first, before I pay them any later rent…but that’s just a hunch. The building manager did not bother to explain, if such is the case…nor has he gotten back to me on this. I don’t sense a malicious motive, but that he’s possibly senile and/or poor communication with tenants and the landlord may be the issue. I’m sure you’ll be able to clear this up with ease. Thank you again, Magdalena! I am, in general, doing just fine…in fact, superb! This is the result of taking any bad situation and doing my best to turn it around into a positive outcome for all parties involved. “Crisis is opportunity.”
–end
Subject: I just received a notice to pay or quit:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 2:30 PM
Here’s the email I sent to my attorney just a moment ago. The only relevant page is the first one, see attachment.
–begin:
Just after 2pm today, I got a knock on my door. It was Victor our maintenance man. He handed me some papers, apologized, said the landlord asked him to deliver the papers. I just said okay, thanks, no problem. I then read the first page, which is a 3-day notice to pay or quit! But get this:
They got my monthly rent wrong. They claim it’s $309.32 when it’s actually $301.59. So the total amount due should be $3,619.08, not $3,772.94.
So now we know why the building manager has refused payment…and didn’t bother to explain why, to boot!
I’m sure you’ll be on top of this in no time, Magdalena. Thanks again! Here’s a copy of all four pages of that notice.
–end
Re: I just received a 3-day notice to pay or quit!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 3:38 PM
> Jesus fucking Christ!!
They’re gonna get in so much trouble…just you wait! Ablahblah’s attorney agreed with MY attorney that, yes, I should pay April’s rent, and May’s (if it comes to that), before I pay all the back rent reimbursed to me by Bay Area Legal Aid. So, Ablahblah’s attorney, in cahoots with Kevin, set me up to look like I’ve failed to pay ANY rent. BY NOT CASHING MY CHECKS! I guess I should do a stop payment on April’s check, which’ll cost me $25. Now get THIS, Wattson:
ALL MY TEXTS TO KEVIN HAVE DISAPPEARED FROM MY SMARTPHONE ARCHIVES! Fortunately, I’ve taken a screenshot of the latest one I sent to Kevin, asking where is the April check, and sent a copy of it to my attorney. It’s backed up to my two cloud services, as well as my external media. So from now on I’m gonna take screenshots of ALL the important texts and back ’em up IMMEDIATELY. Even my recent ones to my attorney are all gone. In fact, that’s how I found out they’ve been erased, ’cause I just went to view my recent texts to her, intending to move them into my archives…but they disappeared, too!
Could Ablahblah’s attorney have paid some hacker to do that? He’d’ve had to get around my VPN first, and only THEN my Tracfone account! I really DON’T think that’s what’s going on. Bodhisattva mischief more likely. At any rate:
The amount demanded is wrong, anyway…and Magdalena will most likely slap some serious charges on them, or at least a WARNING to back off. It will be MOST interesting to read her next reply! You will know, of course, ASAP.
– Zeke K-Holmes
P.S.: Paying my rent the usual way (slipping the check under Kevin’s door) is now FOREVER outta the question. I’ll have to mail each one CERTIFIED to Ablahblah Realty. Which means an added expense for moi! I’ll discuss this with Magdalena.
Re: I just received a 3-day notice to pay or quit!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 4:26 PM
> If it were moi, I’d deliver it in person.
What’s to stop them from lying about it, claiming they never got my check? I’d have to have my camera running, and I don’t know if they’d care for that. Ablahblah might ban me from stepping into their building. I’m sure my attorney will know the best approach.
As far as starting a lawsuit against them, it would be a civil suit, for which I do NOT have the right to an attorney…especially if I’M the plaintiff! So the amount sued would have to be GRAND enough for any lawyer to consider taking my case pro bono. But is it actually strong enough to attract a good attorney? I think so, but that’s just in MY eyes. It would most likely have to be a CLASS ACTION lawsuit, but I don’t have faith in other residents taking up arms, in spite of their frustration about management, including one occupant’s attempt to start a tenants union. I could easily wind up being even MORE of a pariah in their eyes! (Not like that would STOP me, if I thought that’s the best way to go…you know me, Wattson.)
Stay tuned for my bodhisattva spin on this issue. It’s a hoot and a holler!
– Zeke K-Holmes
Subject: Glob’s messenger “Hindsight” is keeping me busy these days!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 5:15 PM
[Jebus on a splintery wooden dildo, I’ve been trying to get this piece done, but then I was RUDELY interrupted by that 3-day notice to pay or quit…so I had to deal with THAT before continuing with THIS! What a clown show Ablablah Realty et al are! At any rate, let’s get on with the show:]
Though I suspect it’s Pterry Pterodactyl in disguise, playing that role…the cheap platinum wig gives it away!
Around 9:30 AM I heard loud rap music playing across the street, so figured it might be you-know-who. It was! Walking the dogs with a granny cart carrying the speaker. I tried to catch a video of the scene, but he was already by the corner when I had my camera pointed at them, but the tree’s leaves outside my window blocked the view. He looked good, dressed nicely, pups looked good, as well. Per My Bodhisattva Premise:
I’m being tested (or better said, “initiated”). Setting the dogs up in a dangerous situation to see if I’d do the right thing, which I did, including lambasting their master for such careless disregard. This implies the dogs are somehow protected from any harm, no matter how BAD the scenario appears. Something which bodhisattva guardians are quite capable of doing.
[SIDEBAR: I want to make it absolutely clear that believing this does NOT mean one should turn a blind eye towards a perceived wrong, but should ALWAYS speak out and take whatever action necessary to thwart potential harm.]
My LARC adventure was THE turning point, and my life has changed radically since then (for the better). I’ve drastically reduced my time spent watching informative Youtube videos because much more of my time is now taken up writing about the increasing number of startling events going on in my life these days. After LARC came:
My General Denial to plaintiff’s attorney…and eventually sending a copy of these denials TO Ablahblah’s attorney. Deek’s vast improvement re. his behavior and attitude…then this sudden setback. Larkin resuming his boisterous yodeling along Market Street across from my building these past few weeks…followed by his unexpected presence at Mollie Stone’s ’cause I figured he works later in the day. Not to mention the REVELATION that grew out of that! And finally (at least for now) my surprise 3-day notice to pay or quit.
[SIDEBAR (I love my sidebars, hope you do too): After seeing Larkin yesterday, and hearing his amazing voice, I felt all my dreams invigorated, and My Premise affirmed. To have him actually SPEAK to me would’ve sullied the experience, that is: watered down a powerful uplifting of my spirit. IOW his verbal acknowledgment would likely have stifled my creative outpouring, and we’d never have that delightful “muffin” badinage with Pterry Pterodactyl to share with the world.]
All these intense episodes in such a short span of time indicate one thing (and one thing only, in THIS bedazzled pilgrim’s eyes): a CULMINATION of my Brindlekin Adventures. Which THEN implies that breakthrough where I become KNOWN and CELEBRATED across the world, starting with San Franshitsco of course! Remember, Wattson, per My Bodhisattva Premise: all folks involved are ACTORS, and some play my enemy in order to make me into the hero of my own show. It’s all SCRIPTED, including Deek’s egregious setback, Ablahblah Realty’s attorney, MY attorney, the building manager, and so on. And a bodhisattva stirring up mischief ALWAYS leaves a clue.
In the case of my SECOND 3-day notice, that clue is the claim for rent due…the sum of which is INCORRECT. They’re having fun with me is all, including Magdalena. THEY’RE ALL IN ON IT, as I’ve said many times before!
Now, in ending this email, this video I shot just minutes ago while composing this piece, showing our building manager being assisted from vehicle to building. SOMEone’s paying his dues for all the wickedness he’s manifested! (11 seconds):
Now how synchronistic is THAT? A perfect ending to this, my latest tale, ’cause not of my own doing!
– Zeke K-Holmes
P.S.: This morning I upgraded my Xfinity service from 50 Mbps to 100. Still fully covered by ACP (Affordable Connectivity Program). Looks like my upload speed has also been doubled: from 10 Mbps to 20. Huzzah!
P.P.S.: Now, for a delightful repast of Twining’s black currant tea, Thomas’ multigrain English muffin and Trader Joe’s frozen cherries! (I should get PAID for the advertising…and further down the pike I surely will!)
ADDENDUM
Smartphone archives are back!
Turned out my Xfinity upgrade shut down my modem for several minutes. This, then, thwarted my VPN service, which I had to manually turn back on. I have it set to block my connection should it not be running…an excellent security measure. So, now that I have the VPN activated once more, my archives are visible again. Whew!
Subject: Attorney’s next reply, and my response:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 6:03 PM
Her latest email arrived just moments ago. This is fun! In a weird kinda way.
–attorney:
Ok, thank you. I will reach out to the landlord’s attorney and demand to rescind the 3 day notice. I will also mention that you can pay all back rent right now. If they file and serve a summons and complaint on this, we can probably file another demurrer because of the incorrect rent amount. Is your monthly rent amount written down somewhere? I think you don’t have a copy of the lease right? Or do you have receipts for your previous payments showing what you paid? We have $3,017 in our trust account.
–me:
I have records of my rent checks in my online bank account…a snapshot of each check. I have April and May’s amount in my bank account which, added to my escrow, gives me the correct total of all payment due. Maybe it’s better if I deposit that remaining amount into escrow, and have BALA send them the payment.
I don’t know how I should pay my rent going forward, as I don’t trust our building manager at this point. Perhaps send a check each month directly to Ablahblah, via certified mail. Do you have a better idea? Thanks again, Magdalena.
– Zeke the Persistent
–end
ZekeBlog 2.0 