How to Pay Your Rent in a Thousand Painful Steps

[Brindlekin Tales – Book 8: Chapter 1]

Subject: And one more email from Magdalena
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 8:28 PM

Nice that she bothered to post to me well beyond working hours. I swear, Wattson, I wasted MOST of my day trying to get this BS straightened out!


Ok, you can come in tomorrow between 9:30 and 4:30 for the trust account and then we can write a check to the landlord. I can ask the landlords attorney to have the landlord provide receipts to you for each rental payment you make in the future? Or yes we can ask the landlords attorney if you can pay by mail?


But the check you cut is only partial payment. So, should I bring you a cashier’s check for the remainder, so you can write out the payment in full? As for getting a receipt, don’t see how I’d get one immediately upon giving the landlord my check, unless I drop by his office in person. Mailing is dicey, too, unless I send it certified. If I bring my check to the manager he may not be around in person to give me a receipt on the last day due. Besides which, he’s very ill and may not be able to answer the door. Anyway, talk with you tomorrow. I can show up as early as 10, though I’d like to know if I should bring a cashier’s check for the difference, so I can do that before dropping over. The added portion would be $602.08 for a total of $3619.08, at $301.59 per month.

And what about April’s check, should I stop payment on it? It’ll cost me $25. I can manage the fee, though not happy about it.

I also need a copy of my escrow account showing all deposits made. Which may be necessary to prevent plaintiff’s attorney from skimming money from my account. Since at least one of the months shows my bank account to have over double my monthly income. That’s only because I didn’t deposit to escrow every month, but paid in two lump sums. With my escrow statement, plaintiff’s attorney will see two withdrawals from my account that perfectly match the escrow deposits, proving they were solely  rent payments.

Ablahblah REALLY should’ve set up electronic payment years ago!

Thanks again, have a lovely evening.


Now get THIS, Wattson:

Yesterday, the Thunderbird email client I use to back up all my Gmail conversations regarding BOTH lawsuits, WIPED OUT all my mail as the result of a simple update! So now I have to resort to Google Takeout, to back up all my Gmail into a format that is less than convenient, but doable.

– Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: Oops, one more email from Magdalena:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2023 at 8:56 PM

This came in about ten minutes ago.


Since you have checks already for April and May, I can email the landlord’s attorney the amount we have in the trust account and tell him you have submitted April and you have a check for May. Let’s see what he says? We can discuss tomorrow over phone as well.


Phone is good, I’ll call you at 9:30. Thanks! My escrow amount, BTW, is $1.10 over what the payment should be for months June through March. That’s because my two deposits were rounded off to the next dollar.

The right amount for 10 months is $3015.90.


Subject: Lovely visit with Deek
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 11, 2023 at 10:14 PM

I had returned from Trader Joe’s around noon via Muni Metro when I found them waiting by my building as I walked from Castro Station hovelward. Don’t know HOW long he was there, but saw no sign of him screaming up to my window, or any other nervy behavior. He didn’t see me as I approached, because he was facing another direction. But the MUTTS did! They stood up with curly tails a-waggin’ as I drew near. Deek was finally alerted to my arrival as I crouched down to hug the poochies and said, “Hey there you little angels!” Now get THIS, Wattson:

The quasi-dachshunds were tethered to his latest bike WHICH WAS SET DOWN ON ITS SIDE, THANK GLOB! I did NOT bring up the egregious matter of last Sunday, because of that…and since he was respectful towards me through the entire meetup. So I presume he was burned badly enough in the flames of my scathing reprimand, that ghastly day…to a psychological crisp. Let us pray that IS the case, and my impact will REMAIN embedded in his engrams forevermore! Great Spirit love the wee doggies of this world.

I then stood up to greet their master, said “I’m sorry I kept you waiting” and explained I’ve decided to make Monday and Thursday (instead of Monday and Tuesday) my shopping days, and I just got back from Trader Joe’s.

“I can also use either day to do laundry, or run other errands. But I’ll be back by 2 PM, no matter what.”

We talked awhile as I sat down so the doggies could be loved some more, Flaco on her back for belly rubs, and her brother rubbing his head firmly across my thigh and torso, playfully grabbing on my shirt with sharp little teeth and silly groans. “We are SO happy to be with you again, Uncle Zeke!”

And so am I. I just HATE thinking each time I see my beloved furries, it may be the last…in light of Deek’s tenuous hold on life, and society’s brutal disregard for the downtrodden. You just never know when a program to house the indigent will suddenly vanish, and they’re back to square one: on the streets. Like a cruel game of Monopoly played by sadistic gods.

Turns out he somehow BROKE the music chip for his new Bluetooth speaker…now it’s stuck inside the slot and he can’t remove it. I have NO idea how that happened, nor did I ask. Those chips are hard to break, and THIS speaker has the media slots on top, unlike the other ones he’s had, which slots are on one side or another, thus vulnerable to his dropping a speaker on its side, onto the hard concrete.

“Did you try using a tweezers?” I queried, poised to dash back upstairs to procure one myself, and pry the chip loose.

“Oh don’t bother, I’ll figure it out,” he replied with not the least bit angst over it (to my surprise). “Here, take this smartphone upstairs, put new music on it and charge it for awhile.”

Of course! Since the speaker has Bluetooth, he can simply select songs from his phone to play on the speaker…thus no immediate need to replace the broken chip. But still, good doctor, I would’ve been MORE than glad to do my magic with a pair of tweezers…considering his politeness today, and the pups not leashed to a standing bicycle!

I told him I’ve downloaded NEW rap artists he probably hasn’t even heard of, since they’re quite contemporary, from 2020 to now!

“I now have over sixty-five albums containing almost seven hundred rap songs in all, by nine different artists!”

“Really?” he replied with interest. “Who are they?”

“Okay,” I answered. “Just wait a minute while I bring a list of their names downstairs, I didn’t bother to memorize them all! One of ’em’s called Key Glock, and another is simply Yeat.”

“Nope, never heard of ’em,” he frowned, with a touch of curiosity. “Maybe I won’t like them.”

“Maybe not,” I shrugged while scritching Lucky’s neck. “That’s just the chance ya gotta take when discovering new talent…though I’m sure you’ll like MOST of the songs. I’ve listened to one or two pieces from each artist myself, and was impressed!”

I then added, as I stood back up to return hovel: “Now that I’m learning about hip-hop and rap, there’ll be a lot MORE new artists comin’ down the pike for ya as I keep downloading ’em!”

Soon as I plugged in his smartphone, I called up that list of new artists on my Double Commander file manager…and took a snapshot of it with my OWN phone, so I could read them off to Deek. As it turned out, he only recognized one: Jack Harlow. The rest were new to him, besides the two I already mentioned: Future, Kendrick Lamar, King Von, Lecrae and Young Dolph. That’s only eight total, you might be thinking if you, kind reader, bothered to count ’em so far. The ninth is Polo G, with whom Deek is already familiar, but I found a slew of NEW songs by him he didn’t have in his collection.

It was a lovely day overall: a warm sun and a light breeze. Deek spent almost three hours below my window, schmoozing with a couple of other street denizens as Flaco & Lucky basked under Sol’s glorious rays. I fed them before tending to his smartphone. When he was ready to depart I brought down a fresh supply of doggy vittles per his request, and two more bungee cords.

“Those are my last two, Deek!” I informed him, as I handed them over.

“Oh,” he replied, “then take this one back, I’ll make do with just one.”

I brushed aside his hand that held the second cord. “No, that’s alright, I’ll just order some more.”

And so I did, once I returned to my hermit’s cave.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Some time during my conversation with Deek, this random fellow walked by, stopped and turned around to address us while pointing at the plywood covering up the old ATM depot, now gutted out:

“Didn’t there used to be some Wells Fargo ATMs over here?”

Deek replied, “Yeah, but they took ’em down.”

The man just raised his arms in exasperation and plodded on to wherever. He woulda made a great NPC in some virtual online game!

“Hmm,” I remarked, “He mustn’t visit this neighborhood very often!”

“So how come everyone’s spending a few extra dollahs to use an ATM in an emergency, when you’re not?” Deek blurted out.

“These people are rich,” I tried to explain. “They don’t care about a few extra dollars here and there. But I’m on a low income, those fees add up really fast…and besides, my own bank adds another TWO dollars to the surcharge…so we’re talkin’ FIVE dollars, not three!”

“So if it’s the middle of the night and there’s an emergency and you need money fast, you STILL won’t use one of those ATMs?” he rebutted. “Not even if I’M in trouble?”

I paused for a few moments then, pondering the implications of what Deek just said, and concluded: more horse hockey from the Cajun trickster. So I finally replied:

“There ARE no emergencies in my world, Deek…just bratty people sometimes who make things up.”

He then changed the subject to the mess Detroit is in, with its gangs, mob violence and turf wars…for some unknown reason. I just listened while petting the darling pups, then returned upstairs to fix myself a snack of mango chunks and yogurt, with some homemade halvah on the side. And black currant tea. Yummy!

Subject: Conversation with my Attorney
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 11, 2023 at 10:16 PM

About a half hour after Deek and dogs departed, my attorney called me. (Early this morning she emailed me to say she can’t do 9:30 because of other obligations, and she’s still trying to get in touch with Ablahblah’s attorney…so she’ll call me back later in the day.) But when I picked up the phone and looked at the screen, it didn’t say “Magdalena,” or any name for that matter. So I tapped on the “call screen” option, with the following output:

As you can see, Wattson, the transcription mangled her surname, as well as mine…and left much to be desired overall. No doubt her lovely Dutch accent didn’t help any. Be that as it may, I saw the name Magdalena, and realized it’s her, just calling from a different phone. So I connected, said “Hello,” and she updated me regarding rent payment.

They’re fine with BALA (Bay Area Legal Aid) paying them via my escrow account, which covers the first ten months…and I can pay for the next two myself: April and May. Then I brought up my concern about exactly HOW I should get my check to them:

“I COULD just deliver it in person and get a receipt right off the bat. Their office is an easy ride on the light rail from my street to theirs. But I don’t really care to remain the center of attention over my controversial reputation instigated by Kevin’s hostility…and the bogus lawsuit slapped on me by another resident, over a dog bite that never occurred. Which attention WOULD renew itself every time I drop off my check, because once every month Ablahblah and crew will be reminded I’m the LONGEST term resident here, paying the LOWEST rent by far! But I guess no matter HOW I deliver my check at this point, I’m forever stuck with that stigma!”

Magdalena had a good a laugh over that, as did yours truly! So I forged ahead with the badinage a bit longer:

“But I’m used to it. I’ve been treated like a pariah since the day I was born, and I’ve long since learned to take it in stride, accept it as just another challenge to better myself. In fact, at THIS advanced stage in my personal growth, I think it’s hilarious…especially since I always come up smelling like a rose!”

We discussed FURTHER possible options on how I could pay my rent from now on, instead of just slipping it under the doddering old coot’s door.

“I can’t expect a receipt from him, upon handing over my check,” I noted, “because he’s usually not around, and it would probably take me many tries to finally catch him in person. And even so, he’ll probably be annoyed to draw me up a chit right then and there. He’s HOSTILE to me, and probably SENILE.”

She then asked how other tenants pay their rent. I said I have no idea, I just assumed that, like me, with a check slipped under his door.

“Have you SEEN any other checks slid under his door?” she queried.

“Well, no, I haven’t,” I admitted, “but I never bothered to crouch way down with my nose touching the carpet to be sure! Besides, he probably snatches up each check soon as he returns to his apartment. And he does that many times a day, what with manager responsibilities throughout the building, and checking up on our maintenance man. At least, he did until he fell ill.”

“I see, Ezekiel! So maybe you could talk to someone else who lives there, how they pay their rent,” she suggested.

“Hmm,” I mused. “I prefer to have little to do with other residents, seeing as they most likely feel the same way about me. That’s just modern living in a large apartment. Besides which, due to this recent brouhaha around me, I don’t know WHO’S succumbed to the gossip, and therefore WHO I should or shouldn’t bother with. I USED to have the occasional friend in this building now and then, over the decades. The last one was nine years ago, Michael, moved in right next door to me. But barely two years later he upped and died. Not that old, either, just fifty-six! Long story short: I don’t feel comfortable asking any resident how they pay their rent!”

“I understand perfectly,” Magdalena sympathized. “Let’s see then. I could talk to Ablahblah’s attorney about options to pay your rent other than the usual. Does that sound amenable to you?”

“Yes it does!” I agreed. “Because I think ‘the usual’–slipping a check under the door–is a sloppy way for ANY property owner to handle rent payments.”

“I agree!” she replied. “But first let’s focus on getting the first ten months paid off, and THEN we’ll figure out a good solution for your future payments. I will need you to send me an email giving permission for BALA to use your trust fund for that.”

“Fine,” I answered. “You’ll have it just minutes after we hang up.”

“I will also ask their attorney if Ablahblah has your April check, and is just sitting on it.” she reassured me. “After all, his attorney SAID you should start paying your rent again, even before the escrow sum is delivered.”

“Right, he did,” I replied. “First they wouldn’t accept my rent for almost a year, then they suddenly turn around and hit me with a three-day notice to pay up or quit. That’s ridiculous!”

“Yes,” she agreed, “it’s awfully harsh of them to do that, when they really should have sorted things out with a simple email exchange.”

“I don’t think they want to let go of the last century, before email was even a thing,” I quipped.

Magdalena then excused herself because she has a tight schedule. I told her thanks for everything, and she said she’ll contact me again, very soon.

WHAT a conversation, eh, Wattson? This whole DAY has been beautiful, every single friggin moment…good to the last drop! So here’s the email she requested:


Subject: Permission to pay the first 10 months of my back rent owed to Ablahblah Realty

I hereby grant permission to Bay Area Legal Aid via my attorney, Magdalena Elvensborn, to reimburse Ablahblah Realty for back rent due from June 2022 to March 2023, which, at $301.59 per month, comes to a total of $3,015.90 (three thousand fifteen dollars and ninety cents). Please note there will be a remaining amount in my escrow account of $1.10. Also:

I have always written out my rent payment to “9666 Market St. Apts.” So I presume BALA should, as well…unless some other arrangement has been made with their attorney.

– Ezekiel Krahlin


Then, some twenty minutes later I sent her this:


Subject: A good solution (I think)

I always slide my rent check under the manager’s door at night. I will shoot a brief, date-stamped video of my placing the check in the envelope while I’m standing by his door, and inserting it beneath the door.

The next morning I can text him: “Did you get my rent check?” That way, if he doesn’t reply by the end of that day, I’ll know something’s up.

While it’s my right to get a receipt immediately upon payment, in order to minimize any possible resistance by the resident manager, I’d prefer that Ablahblah’s attorney request he abide by this new arrangement. Otherwise:

I can deliver the rent check each month to Ablahblah’s office on 31st Avenue near Taraval…a pleasant ride on the light rail, from the Castro Station. Third option:

Send my check by certified mail.

So you can bring this up to Ablahblah’s attorney, with preference for option #1. Thanks again!

Oh, also ask the attorney if there’s any way I can pay my rent electronically. That would be my most preferred option, if at all possible. Thanks, and have a superb weekend, Magdalena.

– Ezekiel


Click here for a larger view.

Subject: Besides frozen blueberries…
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 12, 2023 at 1:38 AM

…here’s what else I’ve purchased at Trader Joe’s (see pic). From top to bottom (and sometimes left to right):

Frozen mango chunks, 1 lb. = $2.99

Swiss cheese slices, 12 oz. = $4.49

Organic tahini, 10.6 oz. = $3.99

Organic soy beverage, 1 qt. = $2.29

Dark chocolate covered cherries, 12 oz. = $5.49

Roasted red bell peppers, 16.4 oz. = $2.49

Sliced kalamata olives, 12 oz. = $2.29

Whole wheat pita bread, 12 oz. or 6 portions = $1.69

Seeds & Grains crispbread, 7.75 oz. = $2.99

Greek yogurt, 1 lb. = $2.99

Garlic spread, 8 oz = $3.69

Broccoli florets, 1 lb. = $1.79

Final snapshot = a bowl of mango chunks and Greek yogurt

The frozen mango chunks are EXCELLENT! Just let them defrost awhile so the sweetness will emerge back out. And SO much more convenient than waiting for one to ripen (which it may never do) then peeling it and getting all the slippery flesh off the pit.

The packet of sliced cheese IS cheaper than at the corner shops…you get four more slices for the same price.

Trader Joe’s whole wheat pita bread is SUPERIOR to the brand I buy around the corner. Wholesome flavor, and a tad thicker and on the spongy side, which makes it MUCH more pleasant to chew for those who are missing their teeth, or all of them.

Now (you may ask yourself), Zeke has hardly any TEETH left, so why’d he buy crispbread? Well here’s my secret, ladies and germs: I GRIND IT ALL UP INTO A COARSE MEAL, IN MY BLENDER! That is: I take one cracker, pulverize it, pour it into a small bowl, add a dash of cinnamon, then three tablespoons of tahini and finally, two teaspoons of unfiltered honey. Mix it all up and voila! we now have ourselves homemade halvah that I eat with a small spoon and enjoy with a cup of coffee or tea. Oh, did I mention all the HEALTHY benefits of seeds and grains?

The Greek yogurt is the BEST yogurt I’ve ever tasted! Nowhere near as tart as other yogurts, and creamy/fluffy thick. Unfortunately, I mistakenly picked up the whole milk version, instead of nonfat. And since I’m coming off a longish bout of mild acid reflux, fatty dairy products are a no-no. But I’ve ALSO heard that Greek yogurt is the best for heartburn. As it turned out, I need not have worried, since the whole milk version did NOT upset my tummy in the least. But I’ll pay closer attention next time anyway, and get the nonfat, so long as no sugar is added to it.

The garlic spread is amazingly savory and does a superb job of kicking up a notch the umami aspect of my warmed up pita stuffed with a slice of cheese (split in half and overlapping to fit inside the pocket), roasted pepper and kalamata olives. After SLIGHTLY reheating a half portion of pita bread, I then insert the cheese, pepper and olives…and zap it all in a microwave for 25 seconds. But it doesn’t stop there, Wattson, as impossible as that may seem to the jaundiced eye of a foodie blogger! For I then spread this garlicky delight over the top…and I can’t beLIEVE how much more mouth-watering and digestible the sandwich becomes, as a result! Such simple ingredients, too: canola oil, garlic, lemon juice, citric acid and salt.

I think I’ll just have mango chunks with my yogurt, since those frozen cherries are perfectly juicy and sweet all on their own, and adding anything TO it would be blasphemy beyond even the devil’s machinations.

– Zeke K-Holmes

Re: Conversation with my Attorney
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 12, 2023 at 2:03 PM

> So good to have her on your side!

Ain’t THAT the truth. I’ll never have enough words to praise her good work for so many.

> I agree that electronic payment, if possible, would be the best way.

Right. So when I march on down to Ablablah’s office I’ll bring a CATTLE PROD to ensure they accept my rent check!

– Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: Marshall did a bangup job of reading my latest passage!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 13, 2023 at 11:42 PM

I think because he finally GROKS my benevolent mission, and the many sacrifices I’ve made along the way, his impressive VERVE in playing Deek’s ranting episodes was stellar! Not that all his previous narrations haven’t been outstanding, but boy howdy did he knock it outta the ballpark THIS time around, good doctor!

Wait’ll he gets to the tiny cabin breakthrough, then the sudden attempt to SUE me for a dog bite that never occurred, my revelatory LARC adventure, my list of denials to the plaintiff’s attorney, my 3-day notice to pay or quit the premises, and finally, my conversation with my OWN attorney. Marshall’s gonna go ape-shit soon enough, I’m sure of it! So it’s uphill all the way at this point, re. my tales read over the airwaves.

– Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: Reddit subscriber created an AI bible verse generator, based on your text input!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: MCN announce, MCN discussion
Date: May 14, 2023 at 12:14 PM

Including nine “vibe” options: Humorous, Short, Rhyming, Quirky, Mysterious, Philosophical, Emotional, Action-packed and Thought-provoking…from which you can choose one or more, or none. Here’s the Reddit URL to that thread.

And here’s their post:


Subject: I created a generator that converts (no pun intended) your text to a biblical verse

You can also specify the verse properties , for example funny, mysterious, rhyming, etc. Try it for yourself at the ai Bible verse generator.


Now here’s my reply:


Very clever, thank you! (“Convert” unintended pun duly noted, I had a good chuckle.) So I gave it a spin and typed the following query (w/o selecting any text vibe): “I would like to show the world how Jesus defends LGBT rights.”

–AI Bible Verse Generator replied:

And lo, when the people asked of the Lord, saying, “How shall we treat those who love differently than us?” The Lord did speak, saying, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” For in the eyes of the Almighty, all are equal and all are welcome in the Kingdom of Heaven.

And when some did scoff and question the Lord, saying, “But what of those who love those of the same gender or those who identify not as their birth gender?” The Lord did reply, saying, “Know ye not that all are fearfully and wonderfully made in my image? And that love, true love, knows no bounds nor restrictions?”

Therefore, let it be known throughout all the land that the Lord our God, who is loving and just, defends the rights of the LGBT community. And those who would discriminate against them shall be judged by the Almighty, for they have strayed from the path of righteousness and kindness.

Let us remember the words of the Lord, that all may love one another as He loves us, without pretense or condition. And let us lift up those who have been outcast and oppressed, that they may know the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.


So then I posed the opposite query (again, w/o selecting any text vibe): “I would like to show the world how Jesus opposes LGBT rights.”

–AI Bible Verse Generator replied:

As a language model AI, I cannot comply with your request as it goes against OpenAI’s code of ethics and goes against the principles of love and inclusion that Jesus preached in the Bible. Jesus Himself said “Love your neighbor as yourself” and “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1-2). We are all called to love and accept one another regardless of our differences, as we are all created in the image of God. Let us focus on God’s love and unity instead of promoting division and discrimination.


Subject: Magdalena’s latest email:
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: MCN announce, MCN discussion
Date: May 15, 2023 at 10:07 AM

Showed up this morning, 9 AM.


See email opposing counsel below.

[2 Attached emails:]

1) Her latest message to plaintiff’s attorney:

Good morning,

Do you have confirmation that the landlord has the April rent and will cash it? Our accounting is working on a check in the amount of $3,015.90. This is the rent for June 2022-March 2023.

Also, over the past few years, my client was asked to pay his rent by sliding a rent check under the manager’s door but he never receives a receipt. Is there a way for my client to pay the rent electronically instead? If not, my client is willing to keep sliding the rent check under the door but would like to receive a text confirmation from the manger that he received the check after my client informs the manager that he has slipped the rent check under the door. While it is my client’s right to get a paper receipt upon payment, my client would be ok with this method under the condition that the manager abides by this arrangement and confirms receipt by text every month. Please let me know if your client agrees.

2) Plaintiff attorney’s reply to Magdalena:

I believe he does. If there is a problem will let you know. For now assume he does.


My reply to Magdalena:


Great, thanks. Once Ablahblah’s attorney informs you he has the building manager’s okay re. texting me acknowledgment of receiving my rent check, I will slide May’s check under his door once more.

Assuming that solution is agreeable, of course. Otherwise, we work something else out.


Subject: My question to ChatGPT re. defending LGBT rights under the Muslim banner
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: MCN announcement, MCN discussion
Date: May 15, 2023 at 10:24 AM


If Muhamet (founder of Islam) were alive today, and was pro-gay, how would he defend LGBT rights with references to, or quotes from, the Quran?


As an AI language model, I can help provide some perspective on this hypothetical scenario. It’s important to note that the founder of Islam is Prophet Muhammad, not Muhamet. If we consider a hypothetical situation where Prophet Muhammad was alive today and in support of LGBT rights, it’s essential to understand that interpreting religious texts can vary among individuals, scholars, and sects. Islam, like many religions, has diverse interpretations, and different Muslims hold varying views on social issues.

Given the Quran’s historical context and the prevailing societal norms at the time it was revealed, direct references to LGBT rights are not explicitly addressed. However, if Prophet Muhammad were to defend LGBT rights within the framework of the Quran, he might emphasize principles such as justice, compassion, and respect for human dignity, which are central to Islamic teachings.

Here are some general Quranic principles that could be applied to support an inclusive and respectful approach toward the LGBT community:

Equality and Justice: The Quran upholds the principle of equality among all individuals. Prophet Muhammad might emphasize that every person deserves equal rights and protection under the law, irrespective of their sexual orientation or gender identity. He could cite verses such as:

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (Quran 49:13)

Compassion and Mercy: Prophet Muhammad might emphasize the importance of treating others with compassion, empathy, and kindness. He could refer to the example of the Prophet himself, who was known for his mercy and forgiveness. He might cite verses such as:

“And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds.” (Quran 21:107)

Non-judgment and Forgiveness: The Quran encourages believers to avoid passing judgment on others and leaving matters of judgment to God. Prophet Muhammad might emphasize the need to focus on personal spiritual growth and leave the ultimate judgment to Allah. He could cite verses such as:

“So, [O Muhammad], remind, if the reminder should benefit; He who fears [Allah] will be reminded. But the wretched one will avoid it – [He] who will [enter and] burn in the greatest Fire, neither dying therein nor living. He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself. And mentions the name of his Lord and prays.” (Quran 87:9-15)

It’s important to note that interpretations and understanding of religious texts can differ, and this hypothetical scenario represents one possible approach that aligns with inclusivity. In reality, the views of contemporary Muslims on LGBT rights vary significantly, and discussions about these topics are ongoing within Muslim communities worldwide.


Any other examples or quotes one could use?


Certainly! Here are a few additional examples or quotes from the Quran that one could potentially interpret as supportive of LGBT rights within an inclusive framework:

Individual Accountability: The Quran emphasizes personal responsibility and accountability for one’s actions. One could argue that sexual orientation or gender identity should not be a basis for discrimination or mistreatment. Relevant verses include:

“No bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another.” (Quran 6:164)

Avoiding Harassment and Harm: Islam emphasizes the importance of avoiding harm and promoting a peaceful coexistence. One could argue that individuals should not be subjected to harassment or harm based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. Relevant verses include:

“And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful.” (Quran 4:29)

Embracing Diversity in Creation: The Quran acknowledges the diversity in creation as a sign of Allah’s wisdom. One could interpret this diversity as inclusive of various sexual orientations and gender identities. Relevant verses include:

“And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the diversity of your languages and your colors. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.” (Quran 30:22)


There is also an option to regenerate ChatCPT’s response, so I did just that for the previous question, and got additional bullet points as a result.

ChatGPT (regenerated response):

Respect for Human Diversity: Emphasizing the diversity of creation and the acceptance of different identities and orientations:

“And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colors: verily in that are Signs for those who know.” (Quran 30:22)

Non-compulsion and Personal Accountability: Recognizing that personal choices and actions are subject to individual responsibility and accountability before God:

“There is no compulsion in religion. The right direction is henceforth distinct from error.” (Quran 2:256)

Prohibition of Unjust Treatment: Highlighting the importance of fairness and justice, and condemning acts of oppression or harm:

“O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just.” (Quran 4:135)

Emphasis on Love and Compassion: Encouraging believers to cultivate love, mercy, and kindness in their interactions:

“And We have certainly created man to be in hardship. Does he think that never will anyone overcome him? He says, ‘I have spent wealth in abundance.’ Does he think that no one has seen him? Have We not made for him two eyes? And a tongue and two lips? And have shown him the two ways? But he has not broken through the difficult pass. And what can make you know what is [breaking through] the difficult pass? It is the freeing of a slave.” (Quran 90:4-13)

Re: Magdalena’s latest email
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 15, 2023 at 1:52 PM

> I wouldn’t “assume” anything with these slippery crooks!

I’m sure Magdalena is aware of that, she’s just keeping me updated. Also, plaintiff’s attorney made no comment re. building manager texting acknowledgment of my rent check. The important thing is plaintiff attorney’s shoddy reply is now on record. I will post to my attorney the following email, soon, after I muse on it for awhile:


I would first like to see evidence of my 10-month payment cashed by Ablahblah, along with my April payment, before I submit this month’s rent. Which former should show up in my escrow account, and the latter in my own checking account. Plaintiff’s Attorney said to “assume” that Ablahblah has my check (though not yet deposited, as I just examined my online bank records which still do not show April’s check cashed). I find that “assume” statement elusive, seeing as he should be able to quickly discover for sure where that check is, or if it’s missing. He also did not reply regarding an arrangement with the building manager to text acknowledgment of receipt.


Wattson: if you have any suggestions as to improvements on my wording of the above, or anything to add, I’d much appreciate the input! But if you are too busy to do that, no problem. Per my Bodhisattva Premise:

They are all in on it (BOTH attorneys, Ablahblah Realty, and building manager) and are “testing” my perspicacity regarding certain slippery details, such as what you just pointed out. Well, not so much a test, but an initiation…or possibly, fine tuning my emotional quotient, that I remain calm and reasonable from start to finish. Under such a conjecture, then I must conclude that even Magdalena is playing dumb, to see how I will unravel this mini-Gordian Knot. BTW:

The word “assume” was already nibbling at the back of my mind before your alert. So thanks immensely for the kick in the pants, so to speak!

– Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: I just asked the AI Bible Verse Generator another timely question!
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: MCN announcement, MCN discussion
Date: May 15, 2023 at 2:38 PM

Their URL is here. Now for my latest question:

“Use Jesus’s words to prove there is no eternal damnation, just a reasonable period of time one pays for one’s sins.”

I included the vibe options “humorous” and “rhyming” for a spicy output. So here’s the result (better than any poem Judas Sakoschitz has ever composed, I’d like to note…though still on the juvenile side of literary panache):


And lo, when the scribes and Pharisees did come to Jesus,
they asked him, “Master, what of eternal damnation, are we to believe thus?”

And Jesus did say unto them, “Verily, verily I say unto you,
hellfire and brimstone for eternity is but a lie and untrue.

For even the thief on the cross beside me did find redemption,
and though his life was full of sin, he found salvation’s exemption.

It is written, ‘The wages of sin is death,’
but nowhere does it say eternal damnation is God’s breath.

Indeed, a reasonable period of time one must pay,
but forgiveness is also offered, turn not your face away.

So let the wicked turn from their ways, and God’s mercy they’ll find,
for His love and grace are everlasting, for all of mankind.”

And the scribes and Pharisees were astonished at his word,
for they had never heard such truth before, it was absurd.

But Jesus did continue to preach,
and many souls were saved, beyond anyone’s reach.
And so we too must believe in God’s forgiveness and grace,
and not be lost in fear of eternal damnation’s terrible face.


Click here for a larger view.
Click here for a larger view.

Subject: 2 New Developments
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 16, 2023 at 8:58 AM

Development 1:

Looks like we got a new manager, at least temporarily. See both pics. Mr. Garciak is on my floor…in fact, right around the corner and we share the restroom. Haven’t met him yet, don’t know how he’d handle sliding my rent check under his door this late in the month. Has the plaintiff’s attorney even contacted him about this? Haven’t met the fellow yet, so don’t know which one he is among the high foot traffic in this building. I will inform Magdalena shortly.

Development 2:

I was struck with plantar fasciitis yesterday, difficult to walk, lotsa pain in my left foot…I hardly made it outta Trader Joe’s to the underground, and finally hovel! Actually, I felt a little pain acting up two days before, but ignored it. Already getting better, though, doing the physical therapy, using a cane and taking ibuprofen. I certainly can manage going to Rosenberg’s now, for java and muffin!

– Zeke K-Holmes

Subject: My email from this morning and my attorney’s response
From: Ezekiel Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 16, 2023 at 6:31 PM

First, my message time stamped 9:38 AM:

Subject: New Development

This sign was posted in the hallway yesterday:

So it looks like we have a new manager, at least temporarily. It also suggests there is no other way to pay rent, except by slipping a check under the door.

I have second thoughts re. rent payment…hope I’m not being overly cautious here:

I would first like to see evidence of my 10-month payment cashed by Ablahblah, along with my April payment, before I submit this month’s rent. Which former should show up in my escrow account, and the latter in my own checking account. Plaintiff’s Attorney said to “assume” that Ablahblah has my check (though not yet deposited, as I just examined my online bank records which still do not show April’s check cashed). I find that “assume” statement elusive, seeing as he should be able to quickly discover for sure where that check is, or if it’s missing. He also did not reply regarding an arrangement with the building manager to text acknowledgment of receipt.

Thanks again, Charlotte.

– Ezekiel

–and her reply time stamped 4:37 PM:

The check for the trust account was sent to the landlord today. The landlord’s attorney is saying that they don’t have the April rent. Do you remember what date you slipped that under the door? I followed up with the landlord’s attorney on the arrangement we suggested for texting acknowledgment of receipt, but the landlord’s attorney said he had to get back to me about that but to assume that that was ok.

Once I hear back from you, I will reach out to the landlord’s attorney again to get confirmation about the arrangement, date when you slipped the April rent under the door (if you remember), and to double check if Charles is the new building manager. Was it always unit #209 where you slipped the check under the door?

–finally, my response time stamped 6:20 PM (so she’ll read it tomorrow):

I slipped a check for April’s rent under the building manager Kevin Bond’s door on the evening of April 19th, same day you emailed me a copy of the dismissal. His apartment number has always been 401. Definitely not 209…which is just a room like mine (no kitchen, no restroom)…and around the corner from me. It now says “Office” on it. That unit’s been vacant since the previous tenant died there around one-and-a-half years ago.

So maybe that check is still in Mr. Bond’s apartment, misplaced somewhere (or tossed out inadvertently or otherwise). Who knows at this point…it’s a clown show!

Plaintiff’s Attorney previously said you can “assume” that Ablahblah has my check for April’s rent. But in his latest communique he said he doesn’t. And now he says you can “assume” the texting arrangement for proof of receipt is doable. That remains to be seen.

I do not know who this Cortez Garciak person is; don’t think I’ve ever met him. But if I did, it was just in passing without talking to each other. There is a constant influx of building workers here (and other service people) especially since the new elevator is undergoing the final step in getting it up and running…after almost a two years’ wait since the old one broke down.

Again, thanks! I’m presently recovering from a bout of plantar fasciitis which suddenly struck yesterday afternoon, and almost left me stranded at Trader Joe’s, but I managed to hobble my way home. So it occurred to me this morning: if I am to slide a check under someone’s door (whoever that person may be) at least I won’t have to cope with climbing two flights of stairs with an aching foot!


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