The Final Chapter (part 8)

[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 3: Chapter 17h]

Subject: DONE! I’m getting Comcast’s “Internet Essentials” very soon!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 5, 2021 5:10 PM

I applied via telephone, everything went smoothly. They will ask me to send a pic of my Medi-Cal card via email, is all I’ll need to do to complete the process. This will occur in 4-6 business days when they officially approve my application. You will have to give them your social security number, BTW.

If you get the same service for your friend, I strongly recommend investing in a VPN, as Comcast would otherwise stalk your online activities 24/7, and sell your browsing habits to third party companies…and god knows what else they’ll do. At any rate, it’s best to use a VPN no matter what, to protect yourself from attacks by right-wing morons who can find out a lot about you, if they know your IP number. I use Private Internet Access (PIA), which is quite affordable. But there are other excellent VPNs out there. I can send you a recommended list of them, if you’d like.

With Comcast’s Internet Essentials, you can opt for a laptop for an extra fee of $150. Either a Chromebook or a Dell Latitude. They are refurbished, which I think is a plus. But their RAM and storage are only 4GB and 64GB respectively…which is fine for your average user. however, you can easily upgrade both, on your own. I advise the Dell system over Chromebook. For the price, both are a very good deal. Look up “dell latitude 3190” on Youtube to learn more about it, including adding new RAM and storage space…which you can order online. I can help you with that.

I am getting their kit to install myself, though installation service IS free. So if I have any problems, I can make arrangements at no cost.

NOTE: If you want one of those notebooks, and you apply via phone, they don’t even ask about that. So make sure you tell them early on. Though that option may be offered in the final application step; I’ll just have to wait and find out. I don’t want it, but your friend might.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Here’s Comcast’s Offer for the Low Income
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 5, 2021 5:22 PM

I posted a query on Reddit’s official Comcast sub. Read the reply by CCBrieD “Community Specialist.” (Being on Medicaid makes me definitely eligible, and I can sign up online with my Medicaid number…so, really easy!)

I’ll just use a VPN all the time, so my IP number will never be exposed, and Comcast won’t be able to spy on all my activities. A lot of homophobes out there in cyberspace, including huge companies! They can make false accusations to my ISP and screw me over. Also, knowing someone’s IP number will reveal your exact location. Who needs to be so naked on a global network? And I DEFINITELY won’t use Comcast email when posting to the MCN lists! They can dig out your real IP number via the code buried in your email.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Here’s Comcast’s Offer for the Low Income
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 6:16 PM

> This is fantastically useful info as I try to keep Van’s penniless widow connected. Many thanks!

Let’s hope that Comcast is in her area, then. She is VERY lucky to have you as a friend and guardian.

Just saw Deek tonight: now the nut job’s accusing me of letting Flaco get pregnant, blah blah blah. It’s just another pseudopregnancy, which is common in unspayed dogs. He showed me she’s lactating a little, and said so many of his friends told him she’s definitely pregnant, blah blah blah. Said a whole bunch of other accusatory things…but, surprisingly, he kept it all toned down. I had no trouble confronting his BS, an he did NOT fly off the handle.

What he’s doing now (my analysis) is scapegoating me for some of his wrongs, because he can’t accept ALL of them, all at once…which I perfectly understand. I told him he needs to grow up REALLY fast, and he will. Not gonna bother giving you another blow-by-blow as, frankly, it’s boring. Of course, he took the pups for the night. When I told him I’m going to bed, and don’t wanna stand here listening to his crap, he just said “okay,” and left.

Well, THAT’S an improvement!

Oh, and another thing that just occurred to me re. my Internet use. This building has MANY workers throughout the year who have access to everyone’s place, including our daily maintenance worker, Jorge. Sometimes when I get hovel, I find an object (such as a chair, pair of glasses or a cup) in a spot where I didn’t think I put it…and write if off to old age. Though I’m VERY fastidious about where I put every single little thing. Now, I’m wondering if something else is going on. A few months back, one day I found my door unlocked upon returning; I presume because our manager neglected to secure it after the exterminator departed.

I step out for 2-3 hours every day, for my power walk. It never occurred to me to screen lock my system with a password, so I’d just leave it on when I step out. But as of a few days ago, I’ve set it to lock within 8 minutes, even if I forget to hit Win-L. So maybe I WILL install a motion activated camera in my room. However, my laptop doesn’t have Bluetooth, and the dongles I’ve tried don’t work at all. My tablet’s Bluetooth is flaky, but it would make a GREAT spy cam, ’cause it could just sit right there on my table and record without any intruder being aware.

I will apply for Comcast service first thing tomorrow, since Chronic is NOT gonna charge me an early termination fee. I tried applying online a short while ago, but when I get to the part of the form where it identifies my building, then asks me to select a unit number, the drop-down list only shows 5 units, and mine isn’t one of them! And this is a 30+ unit building! You can’t just type in your apt. number, there is only that stupid drop-down list. So I’ll have to sign up via phone.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: They’re appetites were suddently voracious!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 7:01 PM

Around an hour ago, I finally took them out for a walk…well, they took ME out, as they both hopped off the cot to let me know it was time to step outside. They had been resting in doggie bliss all the while, till then! So we three strolled up Noe Street to Morey’s shop, then back again. A few passersby admired them, including that construction worker from two months back, to my surprise. Alas, they DID NOT POOP!

Oh, well. Soon as we returned hovel, Flaco started yapping at me, with a most insistent expression on her sweet doggy face. Turns out she was demanding a meal, because soon as I brought out the kibble, she and Lucky started to dance around my legs. They couldn’t have made it any clearer that their appetite was back, if they could speak human. Hopefully, Deek will not return tonight. Dare I say “ever?”

I do hope that woman who chastised him today, about forcing two little doggies to live on the streets, is sinking in. I can’t do this all myself! Hearing it from others is just the ticket! What did I say to Moe about community involvement? Though I’d much prefer a kinder way to address the issue, such as some residents offering the pups haven, and a backyard to run about. And maybe even, a nice room for Deek. But who could put up with his rude antics?


Subject: The stimulus check and tax returns may have something to do with it…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 9:23 AM

…regarding Chronic’s attack. News reports are coming in about thousands of people being scared into coughing up moolah by fake collection agencies and other scammers. Since these crooks know everyone has extra cash to throw around, at this time.

Here’s today’s Deek video I call “Back Again so Soon?” 9 minutes long, and shot with the video pen:


Re: This is not my day (or week)!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 10:18 AM

> Yes, for saying you’re gay, and also because you don’t suffer fools.

Our backsliding as a “civilized” people under Trump, hasn’t helped any.

> Actually, there were animals involved–a sweet elderly dog and a cat….and neither came to a good end.

That is a heartbreak.

> But yes, I agree the Deek situation is worse. I just wanted to express that I understand too well the sting of ingratitude and the unclean feeling of being crudely insulted in the bargain.

It’s a monstrosity…makes you wanna crawl into a hole and die. Meanwhile: the morning brew from Rosenberg’s is delicious as usual (the young clerk who’s there in the morning is always cheerful), the birds are chirping in the leafy tree by my window, and it’s peaceful outside. Always be and do your best, no matter what.

I have gained comfort from that sweet old woman who remarked that I handled my confrontation with Deek very well. BTW, Chronic is not charging me for early termination. So things are already on the upswing there. And I’ll bet my left arm that Deek will make excellent breakthroughs, very soon. I’ve started using a gentle manner on him, since all my criticisms appear to have finally sunk in. His wounds are now wide open, so it’s time to cease berating him. I think it really helped to tell him I might soon be carted off to prison because of false accusations by my ISP, though I added that, while possible, is unlikely to happen. Just returning the drama back at him, to make him ponder over my friendship, and how he’d feel if I suddenly disappeared. As for Adisa:

We’ve passed each other a few times in the past week, both in the hallway and on the stairs. He’s wearing his mask properly, and no longer projects ANY animosity, even in close proximity. In fact, I sense respect coming from him…and, most likely, embarrassment over his behavior. I have really rocked a lot of people these days.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: This is not my day (or week)!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 11:42 AM

> Good strategy.

May as well make the most of a stupid situation. Society conditions us to obsess over worst-case scenarios. It’s a trap we need to learn to avoid…part of my Bodhisattva Premise. Channeling negatives into positives; and there’s ALWAYS a way. When you befriend a “troubled” person (and most people ARE that), they will try to suck you into the trap, though not necessarily conscious of that.

> Excellent work!!!

Thanks! I think I’ve gotten extremely good at it, so I can’t really say all this BS flung my way over the past several months is a bad thing. For it accelerated my growth, as a homo…I mean, “homo sapiens.”

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Deek just dropped off the pups again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 3:04 PM

He was a bit flustered, claiming they wouldn’t eat or drink, so maybe I’d have better luck with them. He also ranted on about some lady in a car threatening to call the SPCA on him, because he didn’t seem to be taking good care of them. Video coming up on that, recorded via the pen. Seems to me that either Kismet is setting things up so I can have the pooches visit more often, or that Deek as my bodhisattva is following the script, that I become the hero of my world. They actually came by about an hour ago, but I was waiting for this latest Flaco video to finish uploading, ’cause I know you’ll enjoy it; just 1.5 minutes:


Re: Deek just dropped off the pups again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 3:48 PM

> Betcha they’re eating and drinking just fine now!!

Nope, not the least bit hungry, and it’s now 4 PM. Though they HAVE been drinking water. They just wanna relax, get away from the crazy streets and Deek’s hyper-drama. But they sure are patient and loving to him, just the same. They’re fuckin’ amazing!

> Flaco unbearably cute. Innocent and wise all at once.

That’s my little lady! They don’t come any sweeter. Another box-digging video coming up later today.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: I just remembered that someone at the old Pendulum bar used to call me Holmes. I’d invite him over to smoke some pot with me, and he was, “Well, Holmes” this and “You see, Holmes” that. We always had great conversations.


Subject: I think I found the right cell service!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 6, 2021 7:08 PM

Forget about any Obama phone services, every one of them has crappy customer reviews. But here is a highly rated, affordable service that even snail-mails you a free “test me out kit.” Which is a “universal” SIM card they claim works with almost every unlocked GSM phone. So I can try it out on my Tracfone, which I think is unlocked…or my BLU phone, which definitely is! If either one works, that’ll save the purchase of a new phone. The company’s called US Mobile:

https://www.usmobile.com/

Amazon, Google and Trustpilot customer reviews all give them very high ratings:

https://www.usmobile.com/reviews

They have an “unlimited everything” deal for $45 a month. Combine that with Comcast at under $15/month (including taxes and surcharges), I’ll be paying around $10 less than Chronic, and get a lot more bang for the buck. However, they have “build your own” plans, I can pay for a set number of call and text minute…say, 75 call mins., 100 texts mins. and 2 GB data, which would be just $14. That would make Comcast plus phone less than $35/month total! I rarely make or receive calls, but texting will come in handy for a few things, such as Amazon deliveries. Data is not important at this point, so I’ll keep it low. Though I might find it very useful for those times when Comcast is down.

Top-ups are inexpensive, and they have an app that gauges your use of the three modes, calculating a possibly better arrangement, for the best price.

If I don’t use the phone for ANY data, my cost for that number of calls and texting is just $4. I like that!

I’m not gonna port my number, just get a new one. Good riddance, Chronic, and glad to NOT have to sign up with AT&T for phone service again!

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Once again, timing is the clue!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 9:43 AM

A little birdie named Hindsight (a.k.a. “Pterry Pterodactyl”) just pointed this out to me, as it relates to the timing of my spy glasses purchase and their eventual breakdown. Not only did they pay for themselves in that one scene alone, of Adisa and flunkies at the front gate, but they also served as witness to Deek’s foul behavior, elevator workers NOT wearing a mask, and my hallway reconciliation with the building manager. Plus a whole SLEW of amazing doggie videos, and conversations with Dieter!

Keep in mind that the sole purpose for my acquiring this device had to do with Adisa, that I hopefully capture images of him and minions loitering in the hallway withOUT masks. I never harbored any plans for the glasses to do more than that. But look how it turned out! The spy gear has done its job, and done it well…after which time a lens abruptly disappeared, and the second pair delivered turned out to be defunct. (And the video pen I ordered to replace the glasses turned out to be a poor solution.) IOW: everything went off without a hitch, in recording vital evidence for my protection, right when needed to do so.

But once that had been accomplished, their purpose ended! Between the two spy glasses, the video pen, and the audio recording pen, I am out by a mere $30, thanks to rebates for giving them all a 5-star review on Amazon. And, best of all: I can STILL effectively record videos of the pups with my “cyclops” eyewear! So much more convenient and less awkward than whipping out my smartphone to accomplish the same thing, while holding onto the leashes with the other hand. Furthermore, either of the two spy pens may prove useful in the near future, though at the moment I can’t see how.

Having pointed all this out to me, Pterry then plopped the cherry on this ice cream sundae of a revelation:

Had the camera glasses NOT ceased to end their mission after this important work was done (and the video pen had NOT proven to be ineffective), there would be NO synchronicity in the timing, to give me a clue as to the hermetic dimension of my “Spy vs. Spy” adventure.

This highly condensed run of crises during my sleuthing cycle indicate the Fates’ hand in them, that is: other-worldly manipulation (perhaps of a Reptilian nature as I’ve jokingly implied throughout my tales). And the suggestion (per my Bodhisattva Premise) that those who’ve played the enemy (Myrtle/Adisa, Deek, building manager, elevator crew, and even Chronic.net) are simply actors accelerating my spiritual growth. Which also implies that:

THEY ALL KNEW I WAS WEARING A CAMERA, SO PLAYED OUT THEIR DRAMATIC ROLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! The most exemplary one, of course, being the incident with Adisa at the front gate, on April 4th. Who really put on a great display of peacock bravado, playing the tough, black punk in “spades” (pun intended). I give him kudos for that! And then, some days after the nasty encounter, the building manager met me in the hallway as if by happenstance (but not really), to subtly invite me to show him my “front gate” video.

Which awareness of this extraordinary timing throughout, benefits me regarding Deek’s latest mind-fucks, as it encourages me to NEVER lose faith in a jubilant outcome for the pups, myself, and even for Deek.

But my pterodactylian associate didn’t stop there, for she ALSO gave me a tip about US Mobile’s flexible cell service:

Since it’s a build-your-own plan, adjustable at any time, I can add more data transfer for any given month, then drop down to a lower rate again. Thus, should I have periods when Comcast grinds to a halt, I can always increase the smartphone’s data, using it as a temporary substitute for my ISP. All I need do is dash to the nearest coffeehouse to use their public wifi, and, voila, ’tis accomplished!

Though there remains the possibility of also using gratis wifi from the two eateries below my hovel, or even the coffeehouse across Market Street. I will, of course, try them first, before paying for extra data. In sum:

Every good person needs a mystical ally like Pterry Pterodactyl, to brighten their way in this convoluted reality! Don’t you agree, Wattson?

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Once again, timing is the clue!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 11:25 AM

> I agree, indubitably!

It’s just like reading between the lines, if one has the perspicacity of mind to do so. It’s an amazing thing I’ve tapped into…a subtle but powerful force, like gravity. And why I’m eagerly sharing this revelation with the world; that others may benefit.

> P.S. Dratted power is out today, PG+E messing with their antiquated equipment. Limited to phone for communication for now.

Egads. I hope you have a good, portable charger on hand, to keep the phone alive! If not, you should buy one ASAP; quite affordable. You can even get a solar powered charger. Check this out:

https://smile.amazon.com/s?k=smartphone+batter+backup&ref=nb_sb_noss


Re: Once again, timing is the clue!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 2:15 PM

> Great advice. With luck, power will be on by 8. Meanwhile, laptop battery allows me to write, so the work is not interrupted.

Fantastic. On my old laptop, battery power is less than two hours. And (get this, good doctor) the battery has had zero charge for the past several days. I reseated it, but no luck. Maybe it died. Just another unwelcome expense for me! Talk about a run of bad lock the past week or so! Now, a little more conjecture re. Deek’s latest accusation that I made Flaco pregnant, by letting her run loose in a park (which of course I never did), or by “allowing” Lucky to boink her (even though he was neutered over a year ago):

First of all, I’m sure it’s a false pregnancy, as you can’t feel ANY life stirring in her belly. But if she really IS pregnant, I assume that Deek GOT her inseminated, even though he promised he never would. Then, figured a way to pin it on me, because he knows how strongly I feel against his plans to run a puppy mill on the streets. Regardless:

Per my Bodhisattva Premise, the most difficult challenges are those which appear to be completely hopeless. But, even as badly as things may appear, they WILL turn around in your favor…assuming, of course, your prayers are focused on a worthy goal. So, having faith that the crisis will resolve in a most positive manner, is the best option. Not that LACK of faith will sabotage your wishes, for it will NOT. Just that you will suffer needless anxiety, over a worst case scenario that will NEVER come to pass.

So, just because I see no way to resolve Deek’s latest bullshit, that does NOT mean a wicked outcome will result. It only means I’m being tested or, maybe better said: taught an incredible lesson that will stick with me forever, one that is jubilant. Meanwhile, Johnny O’Clock is playing on my screen. That’s where all the silly “Johnny” phrases come from, like: “Johnny, tell me now,” “Johnny, where do I go from here,” “You’ve always had a lot of nerve, Johnny,” “Turn around Johnny, I don’t want to give it to you in the back,” “There’s nothing between us but cash,” “The dying man makes his statement,” etc. I used to joke with my homeless friend, Johnny, like that all the time.

I’ve been binge watching MANY such films from the 40s lately. Guess I’m in my noir movie phase! Thank you, Youtube Classics.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Once again, timing is the clue!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 3:22 PM

> Lucky is fixed, isn’t t he?

Of course. Remember I made all so much brouhaha over that strange mark by his wanger, that turned out to be a tattoo indicating he’s been fixed? (Though I don’t see why that’s necessary, because OBVIOUS.)

> So Deek knows she couldn’t have been knocked up while under your care. Unless he thinks you let some other dog go at her. Jerk.

That’s exactly what he “thinks:” that I let another dog hump her. But he knows better…he’s scamming me, because he intentionally got her pregnant, but doesn’t want my anger as a result. So pinning it on me. Another possibility (or I should say “probability”):

He may not have done that at all, and it’s a false pregnancy. Which he also knows, but is “milking” it (‘scuse pun) for all it’s worth because he loves guilt-tripping me.

No matter what, I remain calm…confident that all shall turn out in my favor, in spite of the incredible odds. Per my Bodhisattva Premise: faith against all odds is the greatest test. And this is precisely what this challenge demands. One that is taunting me to lose my temper, which is the WRONG way to go.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Pups are back once more!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 5:42 PM

Deek called up to my window a short while ago, said he’d like his lunch money (euphemism for his weekly allowance of $60). So I stepped out, told him Sunday is pay day…but I’ll get it for him now, he’ll just have to wait a bit for me to go to my bank and withdraw. He offered that I take the dogs with me, and added: “If that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, I’d love to!” He then said I could watch them when I get back…he wants to ride his bike and other stuff he can’t do with the pooches around.

They were a delight as I walked them to my ATM depot, Lucky grabbing onto my pants cuff or untying my shoelaces as we plodded along. Upon returning, Deek reminded me to feed them soon, give ’em plenty of water, and they’re not for sale. And that’s about all she wrote: no stupid drama this time, not even a mention of the pregnancy issue! This is his way of mellowing out, and apologizing for yesterday’s crap fest.

They’re here now, lolling on the bed in puppy bliss. They had eagerly scratch on the door, while waiting for me to catch up; and the first thing Flaco did, was dash right into the box and scratch away like mad! Then a minute later hopped onto the cot and rolled onto her back for my belly rubs.

Now, I gotta fix ’em dinner and just enjoy their radiant, sweet company while futzing about on my X340 hacking machine. Deek says he’ll be back in a few hours, but we’ll see. Whether he shows up or not, I’m fine with either outcome, even though I’d LOVE them to stay overnight. Bodhisattva Premise: don’t worry, be happy. The mutts will be perfectly fine no matter what.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Look at These Two!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 8:09 PM

Click here for a larger image.

Subject: Deek quickly returned for his electronics, left the doggies with me…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 7, 2021 9:13 PM

…so that’s really good. He didn’t say whether he’ll return tonight to pick them up, or wait until tomorrow. Hopefully the latter, as they really need a break from the streets; they’ve been totally zonked out for the past several hours.

Lucky didn’t wanna eat his dinner earlier, in fact he started pushing it about the floor until I retrieved it. Flaco DID ingest her fill. But that was around 4:30. Now, I just prepared their second meal and, much to my chagrin, neither was interested! Anyway:

Deek was surprisingly calm; it was a brief visit and he said “thank you,” as I departed. So I turned around and said, “Well thank you, too, Deek!”

This is good…no, not good, but GREAT. Did I not say this is all a test, or a script in which I play the hero? Which Deek and others are facilitating. Long live the Bodhisattva Premise!

And, of course: all glory to the hypnotoad!

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: “Now get out of here, let me cry by myself!”
Subject: Deek quickly returned for his electronics, left the doggies with me…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2021 12:36 PM

> Great article. Tried to watch the video, but it seems I now have no sound at all coming through my speakers, even though it’s “registering” on all the indicators. Serious bummer, but can’t even think about getting it fixed while I’m still finishing up my 2-year paid writing gig.

Probably something simple, as most PC problems usually are. The REAL problem is that often, simple computer solutions are often obscure.

> You can see the lump on the right side of Roger’s face. I’d seen him just 3 years before, in Boulder, and remember that he was a little detached and gloomy. Learned later that he had just got his cancer diagnosis…

That’s really sad. I have honored his memory in my latest Brindlekin chapter at the very end, thanks to a recent email of yours, to which I added his photo.

Flaco & Lucky stayed overnight. They weren’t hungry at all yesterday, but this morning they scarfed up their breakfast in no time flat. Deek said it’s warmer weather that discourages their appetite. THEY SHOULDN’T BE OUTDOORS ALL THE TIME! At any rate, he seems to be changing for the better re. the pups and his own mood swings. Here’s a 51-second video I call “Flaco & Lucky and Boris Karloff.” Still cute to watch minus audio:

See how clean my room has become, thanks to the pups’ influence! Kudos to Deek as well, for bringing them into my world…they’re a life-changer. That bruise on my arm is a Lucky love-bite. He kept grabbing at my left sneaker’s tongue as I walked the pups this morning. Kept his jaws clenched to it as I dragged him forward, one plodding step after another! Makes ambulation difficult; I was like a wounded soldier, and proud of it. I wear only sweat pants any more, because I can’t find a belt to hold up my jeans or any other regular pants…and have failed to find a decent pair of suspenders which clasps don’t fall apart within a week or so. Lucky takes advantage of this, by sometimes grabbing the cloth just below the knee, and attempts to pull my pants down. Forcing me to clutch the waistband, to prevent such embarrassment. Passersby often laugh. I do too. I cherish my sneakers more than ever, now that their tongues and laces are often drenched with doggie saliva. I’ll need to have extra shoestring on hand, to replace what Lucky has frayed. Oh the humanity! (Or should I say “canine-ity?”)

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: I sent a recent email to you, about Comcast rejecting my application. They said they’d post me an explanation, soon, of what else I need to do to complete my eligibility. I suspect it will involve a blood pact with the devil…because I’ve already done everything short of that!


Re: Styx!!!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2021 2:57 PM

> Just got a notice from Amazon about the walking sticks. Fantastic, thoughtful gift.

I only hope they suit Erwyn comfortably! After hearing his adventure-gone-wrong, Pterry Pterodactyl whisper-cackled in my ear: “Get him some new walking sticks, he’ll like that!” I combed through many reviews in order to come up with the best among them. You can never go wrong, following Pterry’s advice on ANY matter.

> Don’t remember if I sent you this or no; it’s the video made by the rescue crew’s helicopter cam!

No, you didn’t. That was some gnarly spot for him to be stranded on! Certainly not the best way to get one’s 15 minutes of fame.

> Long about 1:50 you can see Erwyn’s little light down on the ground.

Very clearly…but that was around 25 seconds. You looked at the full count, which is just to the right of the present frame indicated; therefore easy to mix up. The entire video is 1:53.

A helicopter named Herbert. Maybe a nephew of My Mother the Car; or a cousin of Herbie the Love Bug.

So Deek dropped over a short while ago to pick up the doggos. Flaco did NOT want to lleave; she just rolled on her back with tongue and front paws dangling in an appeal to let her stay. Using all the sweet charm she could muster, which is considerable. So I had to pick her up to get her through the door (saying “I’m sorry” all along)…then she was good to go. When we got to the gate, Deek handed off his devices as I presented the pups. I told him they hardly ate anything yesterday, but they had a hearty appetite this morning, and are well rested. He said “thank you,” and I thanked him in return; then off they went. NO DRAMA! This is a VERY good development. I suspect he feels much embarrassment for his past actions, at this point. He’s evolving!

Then again, I suspect this is all staged for my benefit, and he never WAS an asshole all along…just playing one. Which if true, means the brindlekin never WERE in danger, nor are they now.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Flaco & Lucky Back for an Encore!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2021 6:08 PM

Deek dropped by again, wanted me to watch the pups so he could do some bike riding and, I guess, other stuff not convenient with canines around. AFAIC, I would never do ANYthing where dogs can’t join in! As he got ready to leave (with that humongous, 20-pound speaker somehow strapped down to the handlebars with bungee cords) he said, “I won’t be doing this all the time,” and scooted off.

I am now in the process of uploading my first video in a NEW series I call “Doggy Dining with the Stars.” Each of which will be a video of the pups eating, while some old ’30s or ’40s movie will play in the background. For example, here’s the description of “Doggy Dining with the Stars I:”


Watch Flaco & Lucky enjoy a hearty meal while an old ’30s or ’40s movie plays in the background. Today I bring you “The Black Raven,” a 1943 mystery/thriller film starring actors you’ve never heard of, because England.

Each video will last as long as either dog is still noshing…which averages 4-5 minutes. Upload for this first video will be completed in 50 minutes from now. Sorry to make you wait so long, ’cause I know you’re already barking-mad to see it!


Re: Krahlins
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Erwyn
Date: May 8, 2021 6:12 PM

On 2021-05-08 17:45, Erwyn wrote:

> WOW! Now I don’t have to go back there! These are the best Krahlin poles I ever saw.. Thanks, Zeke!

My pleasure; may they serve you well, m’lad. Just don’t do that again!

> (The most harrowing part of that adventure was the trots.)

And thank god it was only that! Captivating piece of writing, BTW…I listened to it twice. Totally absorbing, you made me feel I was right beside you. Which for me, was a welcome treat, as I’m almost always beside myself!

– Zeke


Re: P.S.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2021 8:57 PM

> Those walking sticks have different tips for different conditions and terrains!! Lightweight but strong.

I did my homework. Cork handles, too, that absorb sweat, and are comfortable to the grip.


Re: Flaco & Luck Back for an Encore!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2021 9:10 PM

> Hope he lets them spend the night!!

That would be really nice. It’s almost 9 PM and they’re still here. When Deek handed me their leashes, where I stood by the gate, the pups were DYING to get inside, they were hopping with glee! Then, once we returned hovel I had to step back out to bring Deek a few little items. But Flaco insisted on thanking me first, wouldn’t let me leave without an exchange of hugs and kisses. Her kindly consideration and affectionate manners are astounding.

> I love the idea of showing the old movies only as long as the dogs are eating!

The idea struck me a few hours ago, when I was filming them relaxing on the floor, and an old movie was playing. Later I fed them another meal, then filmed them while eating as a ’40s crime move was playing. After watching it through in preparation for upload, I realized it would make a lovely little series!

Here’s the first one. Using my smartphone, the result is not the best it could be, too much on the grainy side, and lighting issues. Video #2, I’m gonna use my Canon PowerShot, and see how THAT goes.


Subject: I’m having the pooches over for a 2nd consecutive night!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 8, 2021 11:15 PM

Deek showed up around 10:30, asked me to watch them for another night, and gave the speaker and other devices to recharge once more. I told him that when he’s ready to take the dogs back, they’ll be refreshed and good to go. He had some yummy looking cookies in a bag with CDs…the large kind that he probably picked up at Peet’s Coffee, where they leave fresh pastries out every night.

I’m tempted to say that Deek is finally having a change of heart…but I really think my Bodhisattva Premise that describes him as a sort of actor/guardian angel, is far more likely. And it’s time for Act II, when I reap my rewards.


Click here for a larger image.

Subject: Thought I was going to have a peaceful night!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 9, 2021 9:12 AM

But then, around 2:15 AM, Lucky started to puke. Very viscous…so sticky in fact, he was forced to swallow some of what came up. After upchucking three times in 20 minutes, he then let me know he needs to step out. So off we went, but the moment we exited, Flaco grabbed a sizeable chicken bone right by the trash bin near the gate. (Damn these thoughtless morons that toss food onto the sidewalk!)

So I promptly grabbed the part jutting from her mouth, and persuaded her with kind words to let go. The bone was tightly gripped between her teeth, yet I was just as stubborn, so we had a sort of stalemate going on. Finally, she released it after a mere ten seconds, much to my delight, and I showered her with praise. I would’ve stayed up all night (and longer) with my fingers clamped around that bone, if need be.

As I tossed the splintery devil into the receptacle, I noticed more chicken bones strewn about. The area around my front gate is a doggy danger spot, for this reason and more! Such as the scary vagrants who sometimes loiter right beside or even in front of the gate, or at the ATM station just a few feet away. And the customers who stand in line for their burgers and block my entry or exit…sometimes with their own dogs in tow, which makes for a difficult passage.

Once we turned the corner up 16th Street, I thought the rest of our late-night stroll would be blissfully uneventful. But no, a pair of bully vagrants with their packs suddenly appeared, barreling down the hill in our direction. So I quickly led the dogs across the street and, lo and behold: yet aNOTHER wing nut approached from a half-block away. But when I tugged on their leashes to backtrack and make a fast disappearance around another corner, Lucky was already crouched in poop position! So there was nothing I could do but deal with the oncoming threat.

She was an obese, black female in her early 40s, with rolls of fat that made her walk a wobbly gait. Also vagrant, and in a bad mood…which the pups sensed and began barking up a storm. She paused right beside me and declared that I better teach them some manners or they’re gonna get a whooping. It was all I could do to restrain my companions, but I said nothing. Just stared back, about to give her a taste of my pepper spray. Much to my relief, she abruptly turned away and lumbered on while spouting expletives. The dogs kept barking in wild fury, tugging on their leashes with surprising force, until she disappeared around the corner. The very same corner I was trying to get to in the first place, to avoid the bitch.

Seeing as 16th Street was not working for us, we strolled up Noe instead…even though we are usually more likely to run into trouble there, than on 16th, at this time of night. All went well for awhile, until a small crowd of revelers appeared from the direction of Market Street. Not much of a problem, really: they were well dressed but loud and screechy like the gay stereotypes they were (accompanied by your token fag hag of course), which caused the mutts to bark like crazy once again. Being that things are usually silent and empty as a ghost town during these wee hours, Flaco tends to bark at anyone she spots, at a much greater distance than she normally would during daytime hours.

So, instead of a hassle-free walk last night, it was rife with disturbance. Where did all these creeps come from, in such a condensed period of time? It was as if they were awaiting their cue to appear onstage, the moment me and the pups stepped out! Lucky retched a couple more times, his stomach expanding and contracting in dramatic ripples, before we returned hovel. And did same once back inside, for which I had ample newspaper for easy clean-up. You see the bright color of his vomit: orange red. Definitely not blood, thank god. Food coloring perhaps, from the kibble or canned food. Here it was almost 3 AM, and I had yet to enjoy a quiet evening! In fact, it went out the window at this point, and I crashed out after seeing to it that both pups were finally at rest…Flaco in the box, and Lucky by the refrigerator (a cool spot in the room).

Lucky drank water several times upon return, and seemed none the worst for the experience. Though when I opened the door to enter my room, while Flaco quickly entered, he just remained in the hallway, hesitant to proceed any further. As if scared of something. So I kindly nudged him back inside. I have NO idea what was up with that, except, perhaps, he didn’t want to mess up his sanctuary with more puke.

So now it’s 10 AM, a peaceful, fair morning…and I’m about to feed them their first meal of the day. Keeping my fingers crossed that no further disturbance ensues, and that Deek, once he shows up again, continues his recently peaceful demeanor.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: That rejection by Comcast was simply because they also need my signature…as they indicated by their latest email to me, yesterday afternoon. Which was NOT asked for, while filling out the online application. Nor did they inform me they’d be sending me a paper form to do just that. I don’t understand why you can’t just take a snapshot of your signature, and paste it into a spot on that form! They need to not be so spooky about it by sending a notice that one’s application has been rejected; then make you wait a day or two to find out why, and what, if anything, one can do to rectify the “problem.” Jeez Louise, I thought for awhile I was being blacklisted across the ISP board, thanks to Chronic.net’s horrid allegation!

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Pups are now back w/Deek!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 9, 2021 3:18 PM

He came by an hour ago. Upon returning Flaco & Lucky, I found him seated along the curb by the bus stop out front, with two other homeless dudes who were neatly dressed, and FRIENDLY! I couldn’t bring everything downstairs at once, so first delivered the pooches and dog food. Then ran back to bring him that weighty speaker (great for my upper arm strength), a smartphone and a small power bank. Upon departing, Deek said “Thank you,” so I boisterously replied: “It’s a pleasure and an honor!” One of his friend then addressed me: “That’s a nice thing you’re doing for Deek!” so I gave him a hearty thanks before returning hovel.

A few minutes later I peered out the window, to see if Deek were still hanging out there. Turned out he was already gone, and his two guests were already getting up to leave, as well. This is around the fourth time in the past three weeks Deek has parked himself in front of my building, with and without company. Yet each time he’s done that, he’s only lingered for a short while, and made no noise whatsoever during the stay. I believe he is now taking the opportunity to prove to me he’s no longer a headache and a half.

I am elated at these new changes in Deek, for it also means he’ll began leaving the brindlekin with me a lot more often…for the sake of their safety, health and happiness. So what is the next step after that?

Getting my quasi-fascist neighbor, Moe, to become helplessly attached to the pups. And since he’s quite the dog lover, he should be an easy mark.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: My wish for April to be my miracle month was premature…though not by very much. May shall be gay!


Re: Someone just made my day on Reddit
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 9, 2021 3:18 PM

> I like BBally81’s comment!!

He’s the one that inspired me to track down Clive Merrison’s radio adaptation, because it’s the best. So I searched to find if it’s out there, beyond the restrictions coming out of British based cyber services. And so I discovered it on Internet Archives. Now, I’m gonna get absorbed in every friggin episode, in order to prepare myself for my next book, “Friendly Ghost Detective Agency”. So that I can really grasp the zeitgeist of the Sherlock Holmes stories, and make my parody a knockout. I want to remain accurate to the original tales…fore example, Conan Doyle never had Holmes say, “Elementary!”

> Erwyn is out with the sticks right now, taking our doggy, Surely, for an evening walk.

I hope the walking sticks suit him well, for both comfort and portability. I purchased them from a family business with a very high reputation score.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Doggies are back again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 8:30 AM

Deek called up to my window around 7:30 this morning! Wasn’t loud, just barely enough to wake me up. I looked out and saw the usual human, shopping cart and two lovely pups. So I donned my slippers and bandanna, grabbed the keys and down the stairs I went, still half asleep.

The pooches went wild, standing up with gleeful yelps, pulling the overloaded cart backwards a bit in their excitement. Deek said he’s gotta go somewhere to collect recyclables, they’d be better off staying with me, as it’s hot where he’s going, and the pups need their rest, and:

“I know how much they enjoy visiting you. I’ll be back around one.”

It was all I could do to hold onto the leashes while I lugged the speaker inside, so I released them. They were ecstatic, and quickly bounded up the stairs to my hovel. Which door I kept ajar for their convenience. So as I caught up with them, they were already on the bed, eager to shower me with puppy gratitude. A minute later they were both sound asleep, like little angels on a fluffy blue cloud. They really DO need their rest! I guess they were up most of the night.

– Zeke K-Holmes

Click here for a larger view.
Click here for a larger view.




Subject: First time my friend from Philly’s email has been bounced back to me!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 5:36 PM

Not a good sign.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Undelivered Mail Returned to Sender
Date: 2021-05-10 17:23
From: MAILER-DAEMON@mailbox.onlinepolicy.net (Mail Delivery System)
To: Zeke Krahlin

This is the mail system at host mailbox.onlinepolicy.net.

I'm sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients. It's attached below.

For further assistance, please send mail to postmaster.

If you do so, please include this problem report. You can delete your own text from the attached returned message.

Re: First time my friend from Philly’s email has been bounced back to me!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 6:44 PM

> God damn.

I can’t even say “I told you so!” But it’s possible he’s just too sick to bother going to a public wifi spot, and his mailbox is filled up. Though I can’t imagine how, as it’s not like he’s very active online.


Subject: Internet Essentials will cost your friend zilch, once she’s been registered!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 7:19 PM

Thanks to the gov’t’s Emergency Broadband Benefit (EBB)! Once you have passed Comcast’s eligibility test for Internet Essentials, you will have to apply for your FREE Internet access here.

All Internet Essentials customers are automatically eligible for this program, which starts on May 12th (two days from now)! I just found that out on Reddit’s r/USMobile sub. Here’s the link, and I am “i-luv-ducks:”

The EBB is temporary, in that it will last until that program runs out of cash.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Deek returned, picked up pups and thanked me.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 9:16 PM

This was around 6 PM. He was parked with his burdensome cart, by the bus stop out front. He said he’d only be there a few minutes, to which I replied that I’m perfectly fine with that, he’s been quiet, no drama the past several times. He then thanked me for watching the dogs, who sat close to him, looking well rested and happy. I gave them a couple of pats and told them how much I enjoyed their company, wished Deek an excellent evening, then returned hovel.

What happened to the old Deek, where did he disappear to? Never mind, I don’t care, hope he never shows up again. I like this new version very much.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: Deek returned, picked up pups and thanked me.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 11:55 PM

> What I like about this is that it increases the chances of the dogs already being with you if/when something bad happens to Deek.

Better that he have a change of heart…however, I’m trying to have all bases covered for either outcome. It is also good that so many of his homeless friends have seen us together, and my caring for the pups…rather than just hear his lies. Some have even commended me for my help with the dogs.

They even know in which building I live, since he has been sloppy in keeping our association private. In the past several months he’s often been accompanied by one or two people, when dropping by…even though I made it clear many times that doing so is against my wishes. Just yesterday, two street people were sitting with Deek on the curb by the bus stop, who saw me exit the building to bring the doggies over to him. And they even commended me for my help with the pups.

So now, I’m glad he has ignored my wishes, since this increases the odds of Lucky & Flaco being brought TO me, should he die in the streets, or be carted off to jail or the hospital. Even the local police now understand the situation.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: 3 cute pics of Lucky asleep
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 11:47 AM

Doggy Dreamland!

Click here for a larger view.
Click here for a larger view.
Click here for a larger view.

It’s morning, 11:36 AM. Deek has yet to return. I forgot to mention that, when he handed me the leashes last night, I said “See you tomorrow morning, then?” To which he replied after a couple of hesitant seconds: “Uh…yeah.”

So I clarified: “I mean I’m going to sleep in a half hour.”

What struck me about his reply was the hesitancy. There’s possibly an implication in that, though perhaps nothing more than something else on his mind. But it makes me wonder: “Does he plan to never show up again?”

Took them for their morning stroll, then at 10:30 AM set out their breakfast. Only Flaco partook, eating up 3/4 of the bowl. Lucky remained happily reposed on the bedding. His repast still remains on the floor, in hopes he’ll eventually get around to it.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Re: 3 cute pics of Lucky asleep
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 1:22 PM

> Aw! His little sleeping-doggy smile!!

Precious beyond words. One more pic, this time with eyes open.

Click here for a larger view.

Deek still not back, and Lucky has yet to eat any breakfast. But as you can see, he’s content and healthy…so this is just the way he is, from time to time. He’ll eat when he’s ready.

He loves his ducky treats, though, but only ate half of this morning’s allotment. Strange, that Flaco turned them down, too, after only a few nibbles. Last night was cute:

Flaco was asleep by the fridge, where I have a comforter tossed down, just for that. And Lucky was on the cot, beside me. Later on that night, they both sat up, looked around and at each other…then changed places!

I’ve been watching a lot of ’30s and ’40s noir films, mostly for ambience, but yesterday I really enjoy “The Woman in the Window,” starring Edward G. Robinson, Joan Bennett, Raymond Massey, and Dan Duryea. While it retained the amusing, naive factor of such films (mostly B movies), the plot and acting were pretty good. But I just can’t see Robinson playing the romantic lead, which just made it amusing.

Regarding my Philly friend: more of my recent emails to him have been bounced. So I guess I should remove him from my mailing list.

– Zeke K-Holmes


Subject: Lucky just ate his breakfast!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 1:37 PM

Not completely, but most of it…about 10% remains. He just hopped off the cot a few minutes ago when my back was turned (preparing a smoothie), and dug in. What a relief.


Re: 3 cute pics of Lucky asleep
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: May 10, 2021 4:39 PM

> He glows with health! His shiny coat, with the beautiful swirls and whorls!

He and his sweet sister are the two loveliest little doggies I’ve ever met. And to think a monster like Deek “owns” them! He returned a short while ago, and flung the most horrible accusations at me, while one of his friends was there…a big white due who rides a bike. He’s 40ish, on the fat side and appears harmless enough. IOW: your basic schlemiel. He even SAW me bring down more dog food, after taking his devices upstairs to be charged.

They were hanging by the bus stop of course, and when I came down with the pups, Deek said, “they look weird, they can hardly walk after they’ve visited you.” I reminded him they’re in a very relaxed mode, and you’re making this stuff up. Then he said why is one of Flaco’s nipples hanging so low, like someone did nasty things with her.” So I retorted that he’s make awful accusation about me in front of a stranger, and he’s off his nut. He replied by saying that dude isn’t a stranger! Can you believe how he manipulates everything?

So I finished by saying I take great care of the pups, and I’m going right now, because I don’t wanna be subjected to his crap. I would hope, though, that his “friend” sees through his BS, though if meth is their main association, I doubt it. He’s tried t stir up enmity against me before, as you well know. And it’s never succeeded. I’m sure he continued to rattle off bad-mouthing me to the biker, once I departed.

But I just don’t know how to deal with this, next time he drops by. If I tell him that’s a wicked thing he did the other day, he’ll come up with whatever he deems is the perfect excuse! But I WILL bring it up, because he needs to hear it. I can’t tell him that I can no longer have the dogs over, if he’s gonna keep up this disgusting behavior, nor help him in any other way. So, good riddance, you stay away from me forever. Because the mutts are in the middle of this vile dilemma! And I could NEVER abandon them. He is an expert when it comes to manifesting needless grief and crises! And he’s got me over a barrel in a way, and he knows it! I COULD tell him I’m skipping next week’s allowance and charging his device for as long…but then he’ll use that as an excuse to keep the dogs away.

Now, something weird happened late last night, around 5 AM. Some fellow screaming bloody murder woke me up, and it was happening almost below my windows…at the ATM stall, to be exact. I recognized the voice: Boulevard Joe! So I got up and peered outside to see a cop car parked nearby, as Joe (whom I could NOT see, but only hear) was screaming at them about how he doesn’t have to give them his name and, no, he was not starting any fire. Isn’t that ironic…the very person I used to rely on regarding advice with handling Deek, and whom I haven’t seen in ages (because, according to Deek, he had gotten another hotel room, so was off the streets), has become the LAST person I’d ever seek for guidance. And to think I’ve been looking for him all this time, and this is how he finally shows up!

Well, the police finally departed without him, and I heard him commiserating with someone else, though minus the loud harangue. I have NO idea what they were talking about, as too muffled from my distance…nor do I know anything about this latest confrontation with law enforcement. I do know that, about five months ago, he was storming up Market Street wielding an unsheathed sword, when the SFPD confronted him. He insisted it was his right to carry a weapon, and, when he refused to put it down, was shot in the hand by a rubber bullet. Which then made him eligible for a hotel room, because suffering an injury. After hearing that, straight from the horse’s mouth, I realized perhaps I should NOT look to him for any further Deek advice.

> Completely sentient, beautiful pure little creatures.

They are truly beautiful, in the profoundest sense of that word.

> I have to figure out what to do with Van’s stuff…his poor sad unpublished manuscripts, photos of him when he was a little kid. Just too fucking sad. I’m a sentimental cripple.

Can you possibly keep them yourself, pack them away in a box? You might publish some of his work posthumously. I’m a sentimental bowl of jelly myself, but I have never had to go through what you’re going through now. I can’t imagine how painful that must be.

– Zeke K-Holmes

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