Less Hair Gel, More Puppy Love, Please!

[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 4: Chapter 4]

Re: [MCN-Announce]- A Conversation with Felix
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Lisa Harwood
Date: April 13, 2021 3:42 PM

> Zeke: This video was removed by Youtube before I had a chance to see it.

You can now view it here.

> (Been away from my computer for a few days. Couple of the days burning brush at my partner’s place.) Did Youtube give you a reason for removing the video? Did it happen immediately, or was it complaint driven?

The answer you’ll find in my next chapter, which release I’m about to post. Thanks immensely for reading my tales…you’re WAY ahead of the curve, Lisa! But later this year, so many will be reading them, that WordPress will probably crash more than once. :D

– Zeke

P.S.: You can also watch “My 2nd Conversation with Felix” here.

It was an excellent conversation, mostly about San Franshitsco’s screwed-up COVID-19 vaccination rollout that neglects many of our low income, elderly and homeless denizens…including yours truly. One VERY interesting remark Felix made, was that when he went to get his first shot (at Zuckerberg SF General Hospital), he along with everyone else awaiting their turn were all PACKED INTO ONE ROOM! So I guess they had them over a barrel. They could either refuse to take the risk of close proximity, breathing the same air, and walk out…or spend an hour or longer mingling their breaths during that time, in order to finally get that vaccine! A Faustian bargain indeed. Now documented on video (8 minutes):

Click here to watch the video.

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Re: Some Quick Updates
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 14, 2021 10:28 AM

> Great pic of Deek!

Yes, it’s PERFECT! Cigarette dangling from the lips, gold medallion raised forward, his scruffy streetwise appearance. The touch of a humorous aura in the whole image…as if he’s aware of his own bodhisattva nature, and the joy that comes with it. I suspect he DOES know I’m filming all this, so made a point of featuring the Buddha/dragon icons. Catching Lucky fluffing up the white blanket with such joie de vivre is also priceless. I suspect even the PUPS know they’re on camera. I especially enjoyed Deek’s describing the Buddha as riding atop the dragon. How could anyone at this point write him off as just a common vagrant?

And THAT was his kind way of letting me know everything’s fine with the mutts, and always will be…along with MY life, his, and everyone else’s. How much more elegant than bluntly hitting me over the head with confirmation!

– Zeke K-Holmes

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Subject: Yet ANOTHER worker not wearing a mask!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 14, 2021 11:23 AM

Seems brazen about it too…like he’s daring me to report him! Fucked up situation, manager doesn’t give a flying fig about it, either. One thing GOOD I can say about all this: those spyglasses sure have paid off big time! I forgot to mention they gave me a $30 reimbursement for posting a review on Amazon, in the form of a gift card! They recently asked if I’d like to review their newest product (a pen with built-in, voice-activated audio recording), so I said “sure!” In exchange for my purchasing it outright ($24), they’ll reimburse the FULL amount, once I post a review. SPY vs. SPY all the way!

– Zeke K-Holmes

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Re: Yet ANOTHER worker not wearing a mask!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 14, 2021 1:09 PM

> Cheeky bastard!

More like “nasty punk!” I’m gonna see if I can report this to the company they work for, “Astro Elevator.” I just found out they have a Facebook page, so I messaged them:

—
Some of your workers at my building, 9666 Market St., SF, are not wearing masks inside the building. This is very alarming, at least one resident has already caught covid, and another one has died.
—

The message included two links to a pic of two different workers CLEARLY not wearing a mask. I also POSTED that same message on their wall. They’re also on Twitter, so I tweeted the same complaint there. AND they have an email address, so I took care of that, too. What really gets me is:

EVERYONE I’ve complained about knows exactly where I live, and has easy access into my building. I’M A SITTING DUCK. So now, I have the elevator workers on top of the building manager, Myrtle and Adisa (and his punk friends), and Ablahblah Realty! AND I DON’T HAVE A FUKKIN LAWYER! Yet.

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Subject: It’s Like Magic! [my latest video – 24 secs.]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN, Discussion MCN
Date: April 15, 2021 9:19 AM

Just like that…BAM!…overnight the elevator crew is all masked up like a boss! I wonder what did it: my complaint to the elevator company’s Facebook wall, their Twitter feed, or to Ablahblah Realty? (Their email address, OTOH, was not valid.) A little birdie told me, “Tweet!” All I know is: it’s GOOD to save lives, and one should never shirk from speaking out, no matter how dark the threat against you appears (in your mind or otherwise). This I learned straight from the Tibetan Book of the Dead, years ago (and I paraphrase):

“In the second stage of death you will be threatened by demons in many horrific ways, but if you do NOT cave in to fear and CALMLY stand your ground, you shall pass through to a higher realm.”

I simply concluded that our present life is ALSO just one of those realms, or levels, of being. Thus, having the courage to always do what’s right, you shall likewise pass to a better reality, IN THIS LIFE. And THAT, my friend, is the secret to this Book of the Dead: the lessons therein taught about dying well, apply equally to LIVING well! Speaking of “levels,” don’t you think the elevator is a perfectly DIVINE metaphor?

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Subject: Success with the Elevator Workers
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 14, 2021 10:28 AM

It appears that my complaint to the elevator company had the impact needed to stop endangering residents of my building, as this video shows (read the description that goes with it), 27 seconds.

However, regarding Deek, last night’s meetup was less than sterling (4 minutes):

Though I MUST acknowledge that there is a vast improvement overall, with his attitude and behavior. I can’t expect him to change overnight, good physician! As the saying goes: “Three steps forward, one step backward.” Nor can I brush off the likelihood of this latest encounter being nothing more than another bodhisattva challenge…and thus, he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing, to make further progress on my OWN soul’s evolution. “Fine tuning” as it were. For the FIRST conclusion imposes more EGO on my part, than the second…and I mean “ego” in the negative aspect.

[an hour pause]

Well, I had to step out for another visit with Deek, after that last paragraph. Very sad seeing him more concerned with gelling up his hair, than with the pups, who only had the concrete sidewalk to rest upon. Deek said they were cold last night; I asked him why, since it’s easy to find a cardboard box for them to sleep in, and add some old jacket or other clothing for cushioning and warmth…he used to do that all the time. I confronted him further re. animal abuse. He opposed me of course, claiming he’s raised dogs before and even won awards. Which I do NOT believe, and said his poor treatment belies all that. At any rate, you will hear our conversation, and more, in a video I am preparing for upload a couple of hours from now. It’s a long one, about 26 minutes…so broken down into three parts. Now, allow me to end this missive on a good note, Wattson:

In the video, you’ll observe that my confronting him on this issue does NOT result in a belligerent shouting-down, which was his customary behavior till recently. This is a hopeful sign that he’s listening better, and WILL improve his regard for the doggies. Less hair gel, more puppy love.

– Zeke K-Holmes

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Re: Success with the Elevator Workers
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 14, 2021 1:15 PM

> So poignant to see the pups gazing at you, hoping they’ll be going with you.

The heartbreak is a crushing cross to bear. I may have to witness them growing weathered and ill, right before my eyes, unto their death. It is a VERY slow torment.

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Subject: Less Hair Gel, More Puppy Love, Please! [my latest video – 26 minutes]
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Zekes Mailing List
Date: April 14, 2021 5:30 PM

Sad state of affairs, to see how poorly Deek cares for his sweet doggies, Flaco & Lucky. He seems to care more about gelling his hair, than showing more kindness to the pups. I confronted him on this, citing animal abuse, which he opposed with shamefully childish excuses. My hope, of course, is that I’m being tested, and this little scenario is a ruse. The bodhisattva challenge here is: do I speak out, or do I remain silent for fear of him removing the dogs entirely from my world? I believe I took the right action, by confronting him in a non-hostile, patient manner. This is in three parts, totaling 26 minutes.

Part 1 (11 mins.):

Click here to watch the video.

Part 2 (8 mins.):

Click here to watch the video.

Part 3 (8 mins.):

Click here to watch the video.

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Subject: Going Digital
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 14, 2021 6:14 PM

Don’t know why this hadn’t occurred to me months ago, but it’s EASY to narrate my tales via digital voice. Here, I was thinking I’ll need to read them all myself, and there are so many, now! So I guess your local radio host and friend, Marshall, is replaceable for my needs. Chapter 2a of book 1 will be uploaded tonight. (It’s “2a” BTW, because that’s where I inserted the Julia Vinograd piece, so the original chapter 2 is now 2b.) I have to make SOME changes in the text files, but not much work is involved. Putting a period at the end of each line in the email header prevents the app from running all four lines together. The abbreviated “is” as in “he’s” and “she’s” is a choppy result, but does little to break the flow. Same goes for other apostrophized words such as “don’t” and “I’ll.” Though, after listening to my first digitized tale, the reading sounds BETTER than “good enough;” in fact, it’s pretty damn decent. Using a female voice, BTW.

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Fwd: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 16, 2021 5:11 PM

What a load of crap…they give nothing specific, so I can figure out what’s going on. My hunch is that someonw owns an image I’ve uploaded to my WordPress site, and instead of contacting me directly, they’re being a dick about it by taking their complaint directly to my ISP. This happened once before: I had uploaded a photo of a canister of pepper spray, w/o even showing the product label…and the person who took that pic complained to my web host service, instead of posting directly to me. Even worse: he or she claimed since I’ve done it to him or her, I’m probably doing it to others! But the point is:

If someone demands I remove it, I will, promptly. However, copyright law is gray in this area, in that, if your work is public domain (and/or you’re not monetizing it), there is no law that says you’re not allowed to use just anyone’s image.

But how can I know which image that is, if I’m not given even a shred of information about this supposed “abuse?” So I posted back, saying I have no idea what they’re talking about, please be more specific.

——– Original Message ——–

Subject: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
Date: 2021-04-16 18:42
From: dmca-agent@chronic.net
To: ezekielk@chronic.net

Dear Chronic Subscriber:

Chronic has received a notice from a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material.

Use of any services provided by Chronic to transfer copyrighted material is prohibited and repeated infringement may result in termination of your Chronic account. Complete details on Chronic DMCA policies can be found at

http://help.chronic.com/hc/en-us/articles/236029887-Digital-Millennium-Copyright-Act-DMCA-policy

If you believe this notice has been sent in error, please disregard this message. Otherwise, please discontinue any further infringing activity.

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Subject: My Spyglasses Disappeared…Just Like That!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 17, 2021 11:03 AM

I needed a phillips-head screwdriver to replace a lead-acid battery in Deek’s heavy speaker, so donned my spyglasses and strolled to Cliff’s Variety on Castro Street. While waiting in a short line, I lowered the glasses to my chest, where they hanged by a lanyard. I found the screwdriver, just $3.99, purchased it and, just before exiting, realized the glasses were no longer on me!

So I returned to the area I had walked around, searched for them everywhere…NOTHING! A store clerk helped me look, but still not found. How could this have happened? I would’ve heard them make SOME kind of clatter if they fell to the floor. I am totally flummoxed; it’s as if they simply vanished into thin air. And that lanyard has never been less than reliable for the several weeks I’ve used it. I left my phone number with the store, in case they find them. So:

My cheap purchase turned out to cost me over $40! I just ordered another pair ($70), but the price was only $35, thanks to an Amazon gift card. Plus, I will receive a reimbursement for the recording pen, once I post a review. That’s another $24 bonus. However, I COULD have spent that lost money on the pups, dammit. At least the battery works for the speaker, perfect fit. And it looks like it’s already fully charged, so no waiting a day or longer for powering it up. Turns out that one of the two connectors for the smaller, old battery had loosened its way off. One of his “tech” buddies had added two flat pieces of plywood to keep the battery from jiggling, but I guess that wasn’t enough.

FIVE DAYS WITHOUT SPYGLASSES, THIS IS HELL! During that time, I’ll be kicking myself for every great moment I miss, that I would’ve loved to record…especially the Deek moments. And the pups, of course. Maybe I’ll use my smartphone, by stuffing some tissue paper into a shirt pocket, so the part with the camera lens will poke out. That seems workable. Just don’t know how the audio will come out…I’m gonna test it right now.

– Zeke K-Holmes

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Re: My Spyglasses Disappeared…Just Like That!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 17, 2021 11:42 AM

> Infuriating!!!

GOOD NEWS, WATTSON: they have been found. Listen to the voicemail, which arrived just ten minutes after I returned hovel.

I went back to pick them up, and thanked him personally. Another clerk (a lovely young black woman who handed me the spyglasses) was also there, as they listened to my spiel:

“Well here is an interesting thing about having found them in the doggy treat section, especially since I didn’t even go NEAR that area: both my Youtube channel and WordPress blog are dedicated to my helping two homeless dogs! So there’s a touch of magic in all this.”

I then placed the glasses back on, hanging from my neck by the lanyard, and exclaimed:

“See? I don’t see how they could’ve just fallen off without my noticing.”

They both agreed that this incident was indeed bizarre. Before departing, I handed Chuck my Brindlekin business card, and declared:

“It even says ‘True tales from the Castro, eat your heart out, Armistead!”

They both got a good chuckle out of that. Thus, I departed with great joy in my heart, and, much to my added delight, triumphant music accompanied me, blasting out of a converted bus on Castro Street. (Not MY kind of music, per se, but it did put a lift in my stride.) That was the first thing I caught on film after the surprise return of those glasses that have already done so many wonderful things for me.

Click here to watch the video.

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Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAFchapter-17d-phone.jpgINT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Abuse
Date: April 18, 2021 3:47 PM

That’s absurd. I am neither distributing nor reproducing ANY copyrighted material. I ALSO resent your subject title including the word “ABUSE” in it, as if I’m a criminal, based on erroneous and clearly unfounded “evidence.” The nature of your email is INTIMIDATING, and just like the draconic behavior of the monopoly ISPs. If you wanna talk “ABUSE” just look in the mirror. Not only would it behoove you to send queries over possible copyright issues in a RESPECTFUL manner, it ALSO behooves you to inform the customer the first time around, exactly WHAT the complaint is about. In sum:

Your post to me is OFFENSIVE and ABUSIVE. You may as well be Comcast or AT&T with such thoughtless behavior.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Re: [MCN-Announce]- Believing in God
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN
Date: April 18, 2021 4:15 PM

On Sat, 18 Apr 2021 at 10:17 AM, Kind Warlock posted:

> My dog is a cognitive being. I have many stories to share about our sacred relationship.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that “dog” spelled backwards is “god.” Especially if you define god as love. No doubt you are by now long aware of my Brindlekin Tales, because I announce each new chapter and video around them, on this list. But I’d like to emphasize here, that they are all about how two, sweet homeless pups have turned my life around, given me so much inspiration and brought me to a higher plane of self realization, I am now gushing with creative force as a result…so much so, that Brindlekin Tales has become a trilogy, and I’m almost done with book 3! It is free to read online, and always will be. It’s also a multimedia experience…which you CAN’T achieve in a standard, paper publication! There is MUCH heartbreak, MUCH joy, and one cliffhanger after another. All true tales, for the most part. I also have a Brindlekin Tales Youtube channel to complement my written sagas.

Have a peaceful, serene night, Kind Warlock…and give your doggy a hug for me, please.

– Ezekiel

PS: if you’d like to have one or two of your own dog stories in my book, I’d love to do that for you! I cannot pay you for them; my works are all public domain, not monetized in any way. For they are my life’s labors of love, given freely from the heart.

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Subject: A Pleasant Night, NOT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 19, 2021 1:53 PM

Last night’s visit with Deek and pups was calm…nonetheless a tragedy in the making, for obvious canine reasons. Lucky was stashed in the shopping cart, surrounded by junk (no padding for comfort), Flaco was on the sidewalk and tethered to the cart. Just more heartbreak, seeing how joyfully they greet me, hoping each time I see them I’ll take them hovel. It’s a longish video this time, 16.5 minutes, so get around to it whenever. The audio doesn’t sync properly after awhile (starting where I’ve appended the first of two clips), but does not interfere with the overall message conveyed, and its impact. I use a freeware video joiner, which leaves a bit to be desired, but serves its purpose. Now I’ll have to add just one more layer of work to my video editing: figuring out how to correct the audio sync AFTER the smaller recordings have been strung together. Here’s the video, which I’ve semi-sardonically titled “A Pleasant Night:”

As for my ongoing concern over the doggies, I reminded Deek several days back, that so much constant exposure to the cold and damp climate will make them come down with arthritis…even though they seem fine, right now. It will slowly sink into their bones till the day comes when they’ll be in chronic pain all the time, and you’ll have to put them down, or they’ll die after months of agony. But as far as Deek is concerned: in one ear and out the other! If they appear okay now, why worry?

A couple nights ago he had a tarp slung over him, with the pooches huddled beneath and curled up for warmth. Happy to see me (as usual) they nonetheless remained in their skimpy shelter, sticking their cute faces out in kind greets. Yet he had the nerve to say: “See? I take good care of them.” But he STILL forced them to lie down directly upon the sidewalk…not even a sheet of cardboard for a bit of softness and warmth. And it’s so EASY to pick up a clean sheet ANYwhere in the city, for free! In fact, there are always some every night, folded up against the trash bins in front of my building.

I suspect he’s scheming to squeeze more moolah out of me, by keeping the pups from visiting, until I finally break down and beg him. Hoping, of course, I’ll persuade him with cold cash. This is NOT gonna happen, and it’s sad because he’s using Flaco & Lucky as leverage to get his way with me. So I have absolutely NO choice but to remain silent about them staying with me again, and god only knows HOW long it will take before he just presents them to me once again! Meanwhile, the pooches suffer from the cold, in their own, polite way, never a whimper of complaint. But you should SEE how they scramble for a warm spot every chance they get! While I was visiting with them last night, they eagerly dug a hole in that corner garden, to curl up in! There is warmth in the lower soil, and their sub-level placement averts any breeze that may whip up.

How many times must I plead with Deek to do the right thing, good physician: take better care of them outside, and allow them to stay with me at LEAST one night a week? It puts fear in my heart whenever I confront him about this–which I MUST do now and then, or my conscience would KILL me–for this just makes him dig in his heels and resist, and will possibly drive him away for good! He has an immature mind, and because of this I fear his jealousy of their love for me is a burning resentment. Which winds up hurting the pups! He may ALSO have a sadistic streak, that gets off on treating the mutts poorly. Gives him a sense of POWER. Now onto another topic, though just as pertinent:

Yesterday afternoon when I exited my hovel to discard some trash, I heard two young residents gabbing away as they descended the stairs to my floor. As is my wont these days, I immediately hid within the alcove that is right outside my door, and perpendicular to the smaller hallway leading to the main corridor. I do this because I don’t care to have encounters with tacky, wealthy queers brimming with superficial nonsense and wan, fake smiles. They never talk about anything of substance! Anyway, here is how their conversation went:

A lot of occupants have moved out for better deals, to the point where more than a third of the apartments are now empty…maybe as much as half! Ablahblah Realty refuses to lower the rent, no matter what. Several residents have already proposed just that, but all were turned down. One of the two remarked how he’s been here a long time, so his monthly payment is $700 (thanks to rent control) for the studio units that now go for $2,300! They joked about how he might request a 1-bedroom for the same price he’s now paying.

You know, Wattson, I’ve never paid a moment’s notice over why this building has become so silent…writing it off, of course, to the pandemic’s mandate to isolate oneself. Considering how long I’ve occupied this dank mansion, I am become a ghost long before my own death: a mere shell of a tenant, roaming the hallways and eavesdropping on the living! All I need is a bed sheet flung upon my person, and a length of iron chain to clank about, to complete this picture! Surely:

When one resides at 9666 Market Street (or as I like to call it: “Hotel California North”), every day is Halloween!

– Ezekiel Joseph Krahlin-Holmes
Friendly Ghost Detective Agency at your service!

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Re: A Pleasant Night, NOT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 19, 2021 4:12 PM

> That’s exactly it. he can lord it over the dogs, punishing them for his own raw-deal life. Sadly, people tend to look for somebody lower on the totem pole than themselves to take it out on. A dog is perfect; it can’t speak, it loves you no matter what you do to it. Horrible, tragic.

Fortunately, his mistreatment is relatively mild, compared to those who outright abuse their dogs. Though in such a case, I could EASILY have them removed by calling the animal abuse hotline. Whereas in THIS situation, it is all borderline, thus impossible to rescue the pups from his clutches. Still, I take the bodhisattva spin on it, and conclude not is all as bad as it may seem, and I really shouldn’t suffer such angst.

> Now THAT’S vivid!! And chilling!!

I am nonetheless in better company with my chains and bed sheet, than I am with the living. Nor do I believe this is my fate, but just a passing phase into a MUCH happier existence. We’re not talking DEATH here, either…we’re talking about a gobsmacking, MAJOR shift in reality. Gotta shake those chains to make it come true! Boo-oooo-ooo!

– Zeke K-Holmes

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Re: [MCN-Announce]- Vartan Gregorian
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Announce MCN
Date: April 19, 2021 6:21 PM

On Sun, 18 Apr 2021 12:14:20 -0700 (PDT) Ron Sack-o-pits posted:

> We are not just some data points in a data mining program. We are not just consumers to be manipulated by algorithms, squeezed dry of our disposable income, and bade farewell as we shuffle off to the grave.

We are also not just some writers of hackneyed poems drooling with absurdly obsequious, obnoxious and oppressive christian psychobabble about some fictional character named Jebus. Unfortunately (for the rest of us) you DO fit into that shameful category, cursing everyone on this list with your malodorous plops of fecal versification.

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Subject: SF Public Transit Continues to Crumble
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 20, 2021 2:52 PM

You will remember my gripes about MUNI’s lousy track record, including their most recent failure to get the Metro underground up and running late last year. Today’s SF Examiner article affirms my gripe. While MUNI claims they are prepared to do better, that is what they’ve ALWAYS said for decades:

SFMTA’s poor track record on capital projects risks losing ‘public trust’
https://www.sfexaminer.com/news/sfmtas-poor-track-record-on-capital-projects-risks-losing-public-trust/

And as if that weren’t enough to rub shit in your face, an advertisement appeared above the article, offering sales of silver and gold coins with Trump’s image on them! See attached image.

Click here to view a larger image.

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Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
To: Chronic Abuse
From: Zeke Krahlin
Date: April 20, 2021 9:48 PM

Thank you! Needlessly causing anxiety to customers is not the way to go. There are probably more FAKE charges than real ones, in attempts by upstart companies or agents to scare money out of people who don’t understand their rights. Years ago, I think in 1998, I had to deal with a false charge of copyright infringement on a parody section of my web site. I contacted the EFF, and they stopped them in their tracks.

I have also had false accusations made against me, just to try to shut me down…because I’m a gay activist, and speak out on behalf of LGBT rights on many online venues. They were successful sometimes, in getting me bounced off a forum here and there…even got a website I ran shut down. I’ve also had other hackers take over my OWN white-hat hacking message board, because it was so successful!

Before the Internet took off, I had to deal with “old-school” false claims to police, campuses, you name it. So this is nothing new for me. Just be careful not to be an enabler by carrying out their dirty work for them. Look into the party making a complaint, before you take any action. Know what you’re doing!

——– Original Message ——–

Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
Date: 2021-04-21 02:50
From: Chronic Abuse
To: Zeke Krahlin

Hi Zeke,

We are sorry that the details about the report were not properly explained in the first email that was sent. Recently we have started a new policy where we notify customers about copyright infringement reports. Since this is a new policy, we are still working out the bugs in how we manage the process. We will use your feedback to help improve the process.

We understand that you are saying this message has been sent to you in error, so please disregard it. Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Best regards,

Remy
Chronic Technical Support
http://chronic.com/support

Come join the fastest growing internet provider in America! chronic.com/careers

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Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
To: Chronic Abuse
From: Zeke Krahlin
Date: April 20, 2021 9:05 PM

Here, see these articles (which I meant to include in my previous post):

False copyright claims are more common than you think.
http://www.publicdomainsherpa.com/false-copyright-claims.html

An Example of When Large Companies Abuse Copyright Law
https://www.kevinmuldoon.com/companies-abusing-copyright-law/

YouTube channels are being held hostage with false copyright claims, but the platform’s hands are tied
https://www.insider.com/youtubers-channels-are-being-held-hostage-with-fake-copyright-claims-2020-6

BTW Youtube recently took down one of my videos, even though nothing about it was in violation of any of their rules…someone in their ranks just didn’t LIKE what I said in that video, which is now accessible on my Google Drive…same company that owns Youtube, as you know. You are welcome to view it for yourself.

I appealed it, but YT still said no. Their claim was that it contained medical misinformation about COVID-19…which it most certainly did NOT. My criticism was in San Francisco’s mismanagement of the vaccine rollout. And I am a victim of it! If anything, it is the city itself that is responsible for violating vaccine protocol. And complaining about it (as I did in the video) has NOTHING to do with spreading misinformation. Makes me wonder about the level of IQ of some of YT’s employees.

As for my copyright debacle back in 1998, my parody is still up there, thanks to the good people at EFF.

BTW. do you know about the gray area regarding using copyrighted images on one’s website or blog? So long as you are not monetizing your article (or requiring any fee to visit your site, or getting money for your posts in any other way), it is perfectly fine to post anyone else’s image to dress up your writing. But should someone complain (like the actual artist or photographer), may as well remove it, than have a headache. Only ONCE has someone complained, and my web host was freaking out, asked me to please take it down. I did, immediately. However, what was this “controversial” image? Just a tiny photo of a pepper spray canister…the back side of it, to be exact, where the product label does NOT even show! It was a very generic pic. Of all things for someone to gripe about! Furthermore, I am easy to get in touch with, but instead of first contacting me, the accuser went over my head and alarmed my web host!

All my writing I declare public domain right off the bat. It is even an art form in and of itself, to find images on the web that surprisingly fit the theme of each article so well. I startle myself often, every time I search for an image…and one usually shows up on the first page of the results, that is amazingly suited for the present theme. But many people are duped into believing using such coyprighted images (w/o first asking permission) for your own articles or stories is a big no-no…but it is NOT. Under the conditions I just stated above.

Particularly nasty people, organizations or their agents prefer to attack their target by complaining to their Internet provider, rather than the admin. of the web host, blog account, or whatever venue the issue in question is presented. THEY GO FOR THE JUGULAR! And they will use you, or any other ISP worker, to be their free puppet, if they can finagle their way around.

So, in protecting your organization from any possible unscrupulous customer, you must ALSO learn to protect yourself from any possible unscrupulous claimant as well! I would NOT still have my “Gay Bible” website up after all these years, were it not for the Online Policy Group, which provides free web hosting to non-profits and individual LGBT activists like myself. Before I learned about them in 1997, I was booted offa one web host or another every four months or so, due to Christian zealots riding my ass! And my site has NOTHING to do with pornography or any other seamy motive. It is a POLITICAL and SPIRITUAL site for LGBTs anywhere in the world, to give them inspiration and hope.

Now, my Brindlekin Tales WordPress blog and Youtube channel contain many pro-gay perspectives…so I wonder how long it will be before the homophobic vultures start to try and tear it all down? And will Youtube and WordPress have the cojones to defend my writing and videos, or will they cave in? But if the latter, you can bet your life I’ll fight them tooth and nail, with EFF backing me up all the way!

Yours truly,

Zeke Krahlin

---

Fwd: Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 20, 2021 9:11 PM

> Oh, excellent response!!!

Followed by a SECOND response which I’ve also just bcc’d to you!

---

Re: [ABUSE] Re: NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
From: Chronic Abuse
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: April 20, 2021 10:17 PM

On 2021-04-21 04:48, Chronic Abuse wrote:

> Hi Zeke,
>
> We appreciate you providing us some background information regarding your experience with copyrights. The links you referenced will be a useful resource for us as we work towards improving our policy regarding copyright infringement. Thank you and have a good night!

Thanks, you too. Long live the memory of Aaron Swartz!

---

Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Abuse
Date: April 21, 2021 12:22 PM

Remy, one more tidbit about fair use:

“Fair use laws state that copyrighted material may be copied for ‘limited and transformative’ purposes without the permission of the copyright owner. DRM often runs in contradiction to these laws by interfering with the ability for the limited material to be copied or shared. Fair use can be used to comment upon, criticize, or parody a copyrighted work. It is frequently used by journalists and other forms of media.”

From: A Complete Guide to DRM for Beginners

So, this would apply to reviewing a film, book or song. Or research regarding built-in religious (or other) bias against a group of people. Or any other research (such as for historical, comparative or social purposes).

Such use does not, of course, legitimize prolific sharing and/or sales of copies of the material in question. This is a good place to draw the line re. concluding whether or not possessing a copyrighted work w/o permission is legal. Media industries do NOT care to make such a distinction, thus often overstep boundaries of the law through intimidation, threats and false or overhyped accusations.

Nor does anyone doing reviews or research need to be a recognized or licensed “professional” in any field. A perfect example of this are vloggers and bloggers of news issues, that are NOT assigned reporters for any media outlet. I am one such v/blogger, and have been for many years. Of course, governmental authorities are attempting to strip away these free-speech rights, in order to control what information they choose to limit, usually for ulterior motives having to do with power.

Private industry likewise stomps all over citizens’ rights to voice their opinions and report whatever news they want. Because, by being PRIVATE corporations, they are not obliged to respect or hold up the rights of free speech for anyone. Facebook and Youtube are prime examples.

There IS an effective way to halt truly FAKE news, but they use that as an excuse to ban legitimate reportage on issues they don’t like, either because it conflicts with their own political or religious views, or may hurt their profits.

It is good that Chronic has decided to inform any customer of accusation of illegal copyright issues by third parties. But NOT by replicating said party’s draconic label of “ABUSE” or any other disturbing nonsense. Some customers may not even be aware they are breaking a copyright law…and they are not the ones trying to profit from illegal reselling or widespread redistribution. They usually don’t KNOW what their rights are, thus can easily be intimidated and even blacklisted from online services, including Internet providers.

ISPs are in the crossfire, and that is a decidedly DIFFICULT “between a rock and a hard place” position. In deciding how you want to deal with claims of copyright infringement, the EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation) provides excellent guidance. Chronic’s policy is, I believe, to protect customers, as opposed to obliging the demands of corporate hegemony. If that changes, your company would be no better than the monopoly ISPs.

This is my last post to you on this thread…I just thought it important to mention this fair use issue. Thanks again for your attention; no need to reply.

– Zeke Krahlin
LGBT street activist before the dawn of Futurama

---

Re: [ABUSE] NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: My Dear Wattson
Date: April 21, 2021 1:48 PM

> Aaron, we hardly knew ye…

Yep. Very tragic example of government colluding with the corporation juggernaut. Cyberspace has made us all an open book, including gov’t, no matter how hard it resists. The ONLY sane solution is to inculcate a heretofore unheard-of level of trust among citizens, and between them and those who rule our lives.

In spite of Chronic’s claim to protect their customers from Big Brother, it is clear to me that one should nonetheless use a VPN to guard their privacy and rights therefrom. Even though Chronic claims one doesn’t NEED a VPN at home–due to their supposedly high level of security–they did NOT mention that, without a VPN, your IP number is still easily discovered. Thus can be used by online stalkers to track you down, harass you with false complaints, and other foul attacks. This includes possible abuse by gov’t and corporate entities.

I had become overly confidant in Chronic’s claim of security, and stopped using my VPN about three months ago, which I originally purchased because ALL my online activities were via public wifi, back in the pre-pandemic days. LESSON LEARNED! My VPN is now reactivated for my two laptops, my tablet and my two smartphones.

Considering that my rise to further recognition via Brindlekin Tales will garner me NEW enemies, a VPN has become an utter necessity. Christian zealots are the bane of America…and of the world. Along with Libertarians, who are NOT part of the Jebus cabal (as are Republicans), but EVIL just the same.

– Zeke K-Holmes

P.S.: Unbelievable how many crises my bodhisattvas have been hurling at THIS poor pilgrim, since November. This shit’s GOTTA slow down, before I’m afraid to step outside! Then again, it looks like even refusing to leave my hovel will NOT in any way stop this ongoing flood of challenges. As so well demonstrated by Chronic’s abusive email! Not to mention my building manager, nasty neighbors, and the elevator crew. What next..the FBI crashing down my door to abscond with my cyber-devices? They should be so lucky. They’ll be worth a FORTUNE on eBay soon enough.

The Brilliant Life and Tragic Death of Aaron Swartz

Seriously, Amazon?

Perfect example of why algorithms are overrated, because, while potentially a boon to scientific research and statistical analysis, they are, in large part, quite screwed up. Which is a great danger towards minorities and other potential victims of government’s “big brother” policing of its citizens. This example is harmless enough, but it DOES show clearly, why the worship of the holy algorithm is both bogus and, ultimately, detrimental on a large scale. Though the problem is NOT the concept of the algorithm itself, it is HUMAN bias and manipulation (as well as sloppy execution) embedded INTO them, that is the crux of the matter.

For the first image, one could make a joke about putting one’s foot in one’s mouth! But as for the second image, a pile of gushy, squirmy grubs or some OTHER putrid insect larva does NOT a good appetite make! I know we’re all gonna be eating insects sooner or later, as our only source of protein and fat, as most other species that satisfy our lust for mammalian flesh will soon be wiped clean off this planet’s plate. Nonetheless, we are not there yet, and Amazon has absolutely no right to gross me out with such “recommended” supplements…especially towards vegetarians like myself. So allow me to return the favor:

Chronic DOT Net

[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 2: Chapter 3]

Re: [Chronic #6249432] [VOICE] No Dial Tone – STI: STI-0362244-6
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 9, 2021 5:15 PM

On 2021-01-09 21:30, Chronic Support wrote:

Hello,

We currently have an AT&T technician outside your building trying to get access to your MPOE.

Best regards,

Isolde

Voicemail from Chronic employee, 1-9-21: click here to listen.

I had to step out for 20 minutes to walk my rescue doggies, then get some groceries. I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet because so busy (the DSL land line problem just adds to the burden), and it’s now after 3 PM. Otherwise, I’ve been home all day. I didn’t hear anyone call up to my window, and I hadn’t bothered to look out because I did NOT expect a Chronic tech to show up. Now that I’ve received your email, I see NO ONE outside. What good is this time stamp on the email when it states “21:30,” which I believe is 9:30 PM?” So I don’t even know WHEN your post arrived.

PS: Did you realize when I first signed up, Chronic assigned me a different phone number than the one I already had, even though I requested to keep the same number? I was real careful in the sign-up process to choose my current number. But the way your online form application works (or does NOT work) you cannot go back and check if you made a mistake, and could correct it. I DO recall that part of the form is not worded very well, and is confusing. But as I just said, I couldn’t get back to it in order to affirm that problem. So when I called about putting my original number into my new Chronic account, I was told it will take around three weeks to change it. Which for some strange reason also meant I wouldn’t have a working Internet connection for just as long…though a seperate problem, they weirdly coincided. I asked can I get reimbursed for almost a month’s time where I had to live withOUT Internet access, even though I’m paying for it…and the mistake is Chronic’s in the first place? They said “No we can’t.” Come to think of it, that may have been yourself!

So, now that this present debacle is going on, I am reminded of this earlier one, right off the bat when I signed up. There IS no one from Chronic outside…I guess I shouldn’t expect him or her to show up until around or shortly after 10 PM, because your post is dated 21:30 and you said they’ll be over in about a half hour…and I guess this is some kind of time warp thingy we’re dealing with? So because there is probably a short in the wires I may also lose my Internet connection again?

Right when I’ve never needed both Internet service and land line service more than ever in my entire life! Right when I finally have the rare chance of climbing out of an almost poverty level existence, where I need to seek out a literary agent and many other connections via TELEPHONE and leave them messages on their voicemail and wait for them to get back to me…and I REALLY need Internet access to post my new tales which I’m coming up with at least three times a week, in order to make the most of this present, golden opportunity that may never come again? UNBELIEVABLE.

[Dear Chronic forum reader: If you don’t believe I’m that talented as an author, that I’m just a crazy old coot…perhaps you should hold your judgment until AFTER reading a few of my Brindlekin Tales. Because, who knows? I may not even HAVE any Internet access at any moment, just like I no longer have my DSL phone…and lose all the new connections and support I’ve struggled so hard to make, in hopes of turning my tales into a literary success! All thanks to Chronic’s shoddy treatment of a relatively new customer (I’m into my second year, but so help me I’ll be dammed if I go for a third!) Be that as it may, I think in its own weird way, this is HILARIOUS, such that I’m gonna create an entirely NEW chapter all about this cyber dilemma and call it “Chronic DOT net.” Check it out if you have the time (chapter 21); this may be my last chance to access cyberspace, for quite some while…’cause NO ONE from Chronic has gotten back to me, and it’s now 12:48 AM. I don’t even believe anyone from either AT&T or Chronic ever dropped by. But OMG who am I to think that I’m at least as important as anyone else…mea culpa! They certainly didn’t wait around, ’cause I woulda been back within 20 minutes, probably much sooner!]

Brindlekin Tales

Re: [Chronic #6249432] [VOICE] No Dial Tone – STI: STI-0362244-6
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 10, 2021 11:52 AM

Please note that my Internet connection has deteriorated to the point where my ability to connect is sporadic and more frequent as of last night. Therefore my posting this update could only be done once a window opened, so that I could get through. IOW, your tech service may not be able to reach me at all, or, if so, I probably will NOT be able to reply in a timely fashion. Okay, having said that, here is something very important I have to explain to you:

There was absolutely no indication that either an AT&T or Chronic.net tech person ever showed up. No note stuck to the front gate, no voicemail followup by EITHER one of them. And I am home ALL the time, except for a brief walk with my rescue dogs, or to pick up some groceries or sundry items from a corner shop just two blocks down Noe Street. At the absolute MOST I’m never away from my “hovel” (which is what I call my dump of a single room here on Market Street in the Castro) more than twenty minutes (but often less) twice a day within working hours (9 AM to 5 PM that is). All they had to do was call up to my window, which is right above the front gate, “Zeke!” or “AT&T here” or “Chronic here!” The other (perhaps better) option is to ring up the building manager via the menu selection on the intercom right beside the gate. Seems to me that, if either one arrived, they just stood around for a minute or so without doing either, and took off!

This is inexcusable, seeing as Chronic still has numerous customers who subscribe to their lowest tier service, because low income…which is 10 MB broadband via DSL. Who also are less likely to AFFORD a smartphone with cell service beCAUSE of a sparse budget. Under such circumstances, Chronic administration should be fully prepared to service such customers who may not have a basic line of communication via a smartphone, or a land line (should that also go down, as it has for me). I’d say such emergencies are RARE anyway, and will be little skin off Chronic.net’s teeth. In my case, all a techie has to do is hang around for a short while, if both calling up to my window and trying to contact the building manager via intercom, do not pan out. Which is highly unusual, I might add. For if I don’t answer by poking my head out the window, I am either out with the doggies and/or picking up groceries, and GUARANTEE that I will be back shortly. This means that one of your service people can show up ANY time without first giving notice, during working hours, and by following the simple instructions I just presented, he or she WILL be able to enter the building and perform the needed repair. FYI:

When I first got my Chronic service set up, your staff was most accommodating to my particular situation of not owning a smartphone, by arranging with one of their techies, to email me when he was soon to arrive, and I could email him back to let him know I’ll be waiting at the front gate. Also, he was instructed to call up to my window, if I weren’t there at the moment. As a result, installation went smoothly. Very nice fellow, BTW, but offhand I don’t remember his name.

Essentially, by treating my emergency so flippantly, you are basically SABOTAGING my budding career right when it’s getting off the ground!

I have recently adopted two lovely dogs of dachshund and terrier mix from a homeless friend…thus ending their miserable existence being exposed to bitterly cold nights (and days, this is sure a prolonged cold snap) and the erratic mood swings of their (fortunately former) bipolar guardian who has been verbally and physically abusing them in small, but increasingly frequent and harsh increments, over the past several months. The story of how I achieved ownership over the pups, and the many tales around them and their vagrant owner, are what my Brindlekin Tales are all about. It is a work in progress, and available for anyone, anywhere on this planet, to read each latest chapter that I upload every two days or so. Anyone on the planet, that is, with an Internet connection which, ironically, now threatens to elude me at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME.

All my writings I consider in the public domain right off the bat, BTW. All chapters presently completed are right there on my WordPress site:

Brindlekin Tales

I also have set up a “Help Me Help 2 Homeless Doggies” GoFundMe project, as well as an “Amazon Doggy Wish List.” Both of which charitable sites are easily accessible via an image link on my web log…you can’t miss it.

Everything I’m trying to accomplish is basically now on hold, thanks to Chronic’s fumbling and blase regard. I can no longer update my social media accounts, my WordPress blog where I post my chapters (and other tales not related to Brindlekin stuff, but nonetheless inspiring and important), nor keep communication flowing on my work-in-progress with either my growing number of fans or anyone with hopeful connections for standard publication and other opportunities for both a lucrative outcome and/or expanding recognition for my good works. This includes running and promoting my GoFundMe and Wish List projects…without which I cannot continue to afford caring for these beautiful doggies, seeing as my only regular source of income is Social Security. In sum:

Now that I’ve made crystal clear to the good-but-clueless folks at Chronic, my particular (and most likely unique) situation…may God help you if you refuse to rectify this potentially tragic outcome by getting your asses out here to my residence ASAP. I mean, what the fuck am I paying through the nose for in the first place, to a company that projects a strong sense of community, customer satisfaction, and rapid turnover in resolving connection issues? I repeat:

YOU CAN GET HERE ANY TIME WITHIN WORKING HOURS, AND FIND ME, IF NOT IMMEDIATELY, THEN WITHIN A SHORT TIME UPON YOUR ARRIVAL! That’s [address excluded from original email], San Francisco.

Thank you for your (kind?) attention in this matter. And I pray for a speedy resolution, because of how IMPORTANT my projects as an LGBT street activist, author and dog rescuer truly are!

---

Re: [Chronic #6249432] [VOICE] No Dial Tone – STI: STI-0362244-6
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 11, 2021 4:34 PM

Hello Zeke,

I apologize for the delay in getting your service repaired. Unfortunately we don’t have the best control over whether ATT is willing to stay for us to contact the end user. We can try sending a chronic technician but if the issue is between the mpoe and street we’ll need to get ATT out again. If there’s a good way to immediately contact you please let me know and I can add it as a point of contact for ATT showing up. In the meantime I’ve gone ahead and resent the request to ATT to get the line looked at. Their estimated repair timeframe is between now and 8pm on the 12th. Another way to help ensure att is able to get access is if you’re able to leave a note or something on the door for them or if you could be make sure that access to the MPOE is unlocked and available.

If you have any questions please let me know.

Best regards,

Yma Deville – Perfidy & Eschatology Lead
Chronic Inc, 666 Beelzebub Way Satan Rosa, Ca
Sun-Sat 8am to 10pm Support: 666-666-6666

Well, my voicemail still works…can’t they just call me when they’re gonna arrive soon, like anywhere between 10 minutes and a half hour from now? My Chronic phone service will instantly route the call to voice mail, and my Chronic webmail updates every five minutes. Or, the tech person can email me, as the other option. Than I can meet him or her at the front gate. That seems to be the best solution.

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Re: [Chronic #6249432] [VOICE] No Dial Tone – STI: STI-0362244-6
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 11, 2021 7:49 PM

Okay, I taped a folded message on the front gate with “AT&T” on the outside, in block letters. Inside, it says “MPOE is unlocked in the basement, anyone will let you in. Or call up to my window above the gate and on the left: ‘Zeke! AT&T here!’ Or you can buzz manager Kevin Bond via the intercom menu. Thanks! Happy Nude Ear!”

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Re: [Chronic #6249432] [VOICE] No Dial Tone – STI: STI-0362244-6
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 12, 1:10 PM

UPDATE:

An AT&T technician showed up and supposedly fixed the problem…ha, ha, just joking. He got in some way other than calling up to my window (maybe I was out, walking the doggies), because I was NOT aware he showed up at all, until I got this voicemail from “Tosh” at Chronic.net:

Voicemail from Chronic employee, 1-12-21: click here to listen.

He left his phone number which, of course, I can NOT access, because my DSL land line is STILL dead. He failed to give me an email, so I’m back to contacting Support. This is part of the problem, and is entirely Chronic’s fault…by not informing anyone who assists with a complaint, that the particular customer has no phone access (including no cell service), and may STILL lack said access even AFTER AT&T has (ahem) “resolved” the problem. And as a result, the confusion and frustration heaped upon customers in this situation just pile on.

Please note that I do NOT want anyone in my room because I have recently adopted two doggies off the street, and they don’t need the disturbance of strangers. I’m SURE the source of the malfunction is outside my domicile, anyway. And I QUESTION if the AT&T worker really did his or her job…because they failed to do so on my initial switchover to Chronic, causing me an almost three-week delay before I could use Chronic services (which I might add, was Chronic’s fault as well, due to not getting back to me for a LONG time, so I had to resort to posting the issue on their Twitter page, which finally got their attention, and problem resolved…but boy was that an uphill FIGHT all the way, for which AT&T is only partly to blame).

Be that as it may, it is super EASY to access my building (and the MPOE) without contacting me first, or even informing me of when a Chronic tech will be arriving. (Which is not always a good thing, for such easy access makes it equally simple for any derelict, vagabond, thief or prowler to enter my building without even breaking in!) They can either call up to my window, contact the building manager, Kevin Bond, via the intercom menu, or just wait a minute or two for a resident who’s coming or going, to let them in.

My Internet connection is presently subpar: Chronic speed test shows my download rate to be 2.7 Mbps. And I am NOT doing any torrent downloading, or using a VPN to cause that slowdown. I’m thinking that DSL may not cut it in the long run, due to a really ancient MPOE that is more knotty than Medusa’s hair. Plus the partially open roof structure that goes all the way to the basement, exposes the MPOE to frequent dampness and possibly, rainfall dripping over it through leaks in the shabby stairs right above. Here’s a pic of the MPOE; if you cringe, I’ll understand:

This is happening to me at the WORST possible time, demanding a focus that I simply CAN’T afford right now. My writing, self-promoting (including seeking the best literary agent, as well as posting several days a week, my latest tale to a growing base of followers), along with caring for two, newly adopted doggies…and relying on GoFundMe and my Amazon Doggy Wish List to feed and provide for them in other ways, which services I could NOT access if my Internet connection decides to finally go south.

If things keep diddling along as they already are, I will have to find some other way to connect…probably through an Android tablet with unlimited 3G and 2G, that allows tethering at no extra cost, and does not have cell service. In which case I will BREAK my contract with Chronic, whether they agree to it or not. The law IS on my side. If I have to, I’ll get a NEW debit card, so Chronic can no longer make automatic withdrawals.

Of course I’d prefer to maintain my Chronic account, but not under such a difficult condition, in a city that is supposed to be the epicenter of high tech, though actual experience by countless customers exposes a rather irresponsible and corrupt underbelly. While Chronic may be the LEAST corrupted, they still leave much to be desired, largely because of their dependence upon AT&T, but not completely…which REQUIRES all customers to pay for a land line, whether they want it or not.

I REALLY don’t have the time for this…and my important projects are all suffering to an extreme, because of this Kafkaesque charade.

Most sincerely,

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
Veteran LGBT activist, homeless advocate, author and dog rescuer since before the dawn of Futurama.

PS: Wifi for my android tablet and non-cell-service smartphone is sporadic, at best, keeps crapping out even though I’ve reset the network several times. And there is also the very SERIOUS matter of a neighbor down my hallway allowing her son’s guests to hang out IN that hallway and RIGHT BEFORE MY DOOR for several hours once or twice a week, because she’s “helping” another mom who can’t be home for that time period, when they get out of school. So they make lots of noise, even argue and scream at times, and I have absolutely NO privacy, they see me whenever I exit and enter, and worst of all: THEY REFUSE TO WEAR A MASK! And I HAVE NO PHONE SERVICE which is vital under such a circumstance, in order to document this with calls to the health department and other pertinent agencies. At least I can call 911 with the smartphone, but that’s a bandaid. This horrific situation has been going on for months, even though I confronted the building manager and the guilty party TWICE within a period of five weeks, four and three months back. SO I NEED A WORKING PHONE, AND I NEED IT BAD.

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Re: [ Chronic #6249432] [VOICE] No Dial Tone – STI: STI-0362244-6
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 14, 2021 4:21 PM

On 2021-01-15 03:27, Chronic Support wrote:

Hello,

You just received an email with a link to schedule your appointment. This dispatch would not require anyone to enter your home however the technician may need some help from you inside. It looks like no appointments are available on the calendar until 01/29. We would like to expedite it for you since its been an ongoing issue. Please let me know if you will be available in next few days so I can call over to our dispatch team and get an appointment set up.

Best Wishes,

Spinster P. – Comorbidity & Pestilence
Chronic Inc, 666 Beelzebub Way Satan Rosa, Ca
Sun-Sat 8am to 10pm Support: 666-666-6666

I am available any day from tomorrow through forever. Go ahead and expedite an appointment. I will be glad to assist anywhere in my building except my actual room. Since I have no telephone or cell phone, the worker can email me when he or she is soon going to arrive…within a half hour, with 20 minutes or 10, whatever. My webmail refreshes every five minutes. They can also call up to my window, which is right above the front gate and just to the left, and say: “Chronic is here!” I might be out walking my doggies. If no answer from my window, he or she can contact the building manager, Kevin Bond, via the intercom menu, and he’ll let you in. If I’m out, I will be back very shortly, and they can wait in the lobby. Also, just standing by the gate will get the techie inside, by asking a resident who is entering or exiting, to allow entry. At any rate, I’ll probably be here, and if I receive an email, I will be sure to be at the front gate when a Chronic headache shows up.

Thanks, Spinster!

---

My latest message to the Chronic forum, dated 1/14/21:

UPDATE:

Okay, two days have now passed without so much as a peep from Chronic support. Finally, today this email from them arrived, stating:

“It looks like no appointments are available on the calendar until 01/29. We would like to expedite it for you since it’s been an ongoing issue.”

I was glad to hear from them, about getting my particular problem resolved ASAP. However, I’d like to point out that, normally, a customer will have to wait at least two weeks before resolving a connect issue? This sounds more like the way AT&T and Comcast behave…not a smaller, supposedly “community oriented” company that prides itself on a fast resolution! Unbelievable! That would turn ANY problem into an ongoing issue!

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Latest update from Chronic’s forum, Fri. Jan 15, 2021 9:35 am:

Hi ezekielk,

Per my email earlier, we have a dispatch for you between 12pm and 4pm today. It is strongly recommended you don’t leave the property during the dispatch time. Our techs in the field do not have access to email so I asked that they call me when when they are inbound and then I will email you to let you know when they are on the way. But our techs will only wait up till 15 minutes if the customer is not on site. So it is fairly critical to be there during the dispatch window. Regardless, we got them on their way today and it shouldn’t be too hard to thread the proverbial dispatch timing needle.

Fantastic, thank you! I WILL be on site (a.k.a. “home”)…and if you really do follow up with an email as to a more specific time slot, I WILL be at the front gate, awaiting their arrival. And if the doggies’ need to poop’n’pee is urgent at that time, I will only walk them three or four doors from my residence, in either direction, keeping an eye out for a Chronic vehicle.

Please realize I’ve been making a big stink because not only am I in the middle of making my climb towards popularity of my tales via cyberspace and seeking a top notch agent…but also because I’ve become embroiled with a serious matter in my apartment building, where I MUST have a phone to find an attorney and keep in touch, as well as contact various legal and gov’t agencies in order to build my case, and protect my own person along with my two lovely rescue dogs. This is clearly laid out in my blog entry called “Letter to the Landlord:”

Letter to the Landlord (part 1)

IOW: access to both the Internet and a telephone are tantamount to not just achieving success as an author and activist, but to my very well-being and even survival. I APOLOGIZE if this has caused some Chronic nerves to jangle, but I’m sure now you understand my desperate pleas. Thank you for your kind attention and patience…and taking action.

---

Re: [Chronic #6259025] Re: Chronic Appointment Confirmation
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 15, 2021 11:40 AM

Hi Zeke,

Fantastic, it’ll be nice to get someone on site and get this sorted. I know it has been a pretty rough ride. Our techs are MILES more reliable than outside techs, so you won’t have to worry about us not showing up. Between the two of us lining up the details as much as we have this should be a slam dunk.

Warm regards,

Lucifer K. – Customer Boil & Wart Remover
Chronic Inc, 666 Beelzebub Way Satan Rosa, Ca
Sun-Sat 8am to 10pm Support: 666-666-6666

Amazing, thank you. This is a most UNIQUE situation I am in, as the Fates enjoy mucking with me rather often, putting me in precarious and seemingly impossible scenarios (sometimes quite embarassing, as well). This is but the latest one, and among the very worst, if not THE worst.

---

Re: Fwd: Re: Chronic Appointment Confirmation
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 15, 3021 12:35 PM

Your correspondent at Chronic seems to have a fair amount on the ball; let’s hope he delivers!

Let’s hope he does. I really don’t WANT to lambaste them, or have my phone remain dead, and, possibly, my Internet service die out, as well. I’m trying to staunch an oncoming travesty that threatens to wipe out my entire life, as well as that of the doggies. This is quite an intimate war with the devil, so to speak! We do NOT need such a horror to unfold!

• Zeke

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Re: [Chronic #6259239] Chronic Dispatch
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 15, 2021 3:14 PM

Hello, the technician for your Chronic dispatch is on his way and is about 10 minutes away from arrival.

Okay, Jonathan from Chronic came out today, did a great job of looking into the matter…but it looks like AT&T will have to come out again, because the Internet connection remains flaky. So he’s gonna try to arrange showing up WITH them, this Thursday, the 21st at 1 PM. He tested out the dial tone, it’s working, so I’ll need to see if a new extension cord will to the trick…if not that, then a new analog phone which I can order from Amazon for under 13 bucks. I will get the cord thing done later today, keeping my fingers crossed that it will work.

I’m guessing when both Internet and DSL went down, a short damaged either the cord or the phone itself. Thanks for your attention, again. Problem is, w/o phone access over the next few days, I may be up shit creek, due to harassment of certain residents’ visitors in this building, who aimlessly wander my hallways, and whom the manager is doing NOTHING to stop it.

---

Re: [Chronic #6259239] Chronic Dispatch
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 15, 2021 4:01 PM

DSL phone line works again. Turns out I needed a new extension cord…I guess because when the Internet and phone lines went down, it shorted out the telephone cord. Dumb thing is, I DID try another cord, but no cigar. I have three spare cords stashed away, but I only tried one. So a few moments ago I tried yet another cord, and now it’s fine. Chronic techs still need to get my Internet connection back up to snuff, and they’ll probably return with an AT&T tech this coming Thursday. Hopefully, my Internet access will remain workable till then…it’s down to 2.7 Mbps, which is fine with me for what I do online: Youtube Studio, Worpress blogging, Facebook and Twitter posting…and tons of email and listserv participation.

But I AM particularly relieved to have phone access again, due to a conflict in my apartment building with another resident’s loitering-in-the-hallway-right-in-front-of-my-door visitors, and the manager, who chooses to do nothing about it. My line needs to stay open, so I can begin documenting the offenses against me (including risk of exposure to COVID-19 by not one, but several, people who don’t even live in my building). by contacting various agencies, including the health department, police department, etc. As well as finding, and staying in contact with, an attorney.

---

Re: [Chronic #6259239] Chronic Dispatch
From: Tara Roosevelt
To: Zeke Krahlin
Date: January 15, 2021 4:48 PM

The suspense is killing me!!!

On 1/15/2021 1:02 PM, Zeke Krahlin wrote:

{{ On 2021-01-15 20:49, Chronic Support wrote:

Hello, the technician for your chronic dispatch is on his way and is about 10 minutes away from arrival. }}

Wonderful, I’ll be out front in a jiff.

I’m tellin’ ya Tara, these real-life sagas I’ve been writing the past few months, are cliffhangers around every corner! Brindlekin Tales is gonna be a real blockbuster of a book. Then come the movies. Then the comic books and online gaming. And, of course, all the toys and dolls they will propagate. And clothing I guess, but I haven’t thought much about THAT aspect. Cruella de Vil’s brindle coats and capes? All synthetic, of course, or I’ll moider ’em! Taco & Wiley slippers? Don’t forget the Brindlekin app! – Zeke

---

My latest message to the Chronic forum, dated 1/16/21:

This is peculiar. Since installing a working phone cable, my Internet download speed is now a whopping 6.78 Mbps…so, back to normal. Are you telling me that a thwarted connection to the landline phone can mess with my Interwebs speed? I need my coffee.

---

Re: [Chronic #6259239] Chronic Dispatch
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Chronic Support
Date: January 16, 2021 6:07 PM

Hello, Zeke!

I’m glad you were able to solve the no dial tone issue. We have our technician and an AT&T technician scheduled to go back out this Thursday the 21st at 1pm to address the internet connection issue.

Best regards,

Isolde

Great…I’ll make sure to be home at that time and day…it’s on my calendar now. Strange thing is: my download speed dived to around 2.7 Mbps, after my DSL flaked out. But as soon as I replaced the extension cord, my download speed climbed back up to almost normal: 6.5 Mbps! Just 1 Mbps lower than the average. Doesn’t make sense to me that a bad or nonexistent phone line would sabotage my Internet speed. Coincidence, perhaps?

Thank you, Isolde.

---

My latest messages to the Chronic forum, dated 1/17/21:

by voluptuousmelvin » Sun Jan 17, 2021 9:43 pm

Yup–anything that interferes with the line’s operation can affect your speeds. A short that affects the voice line very likely will affect Internet throughput.

by ezekielk » Sun Jan 17, 2021 9:52 pm

Well, this is the first time anyone informed me about that. Chronic never did, including the worker who came out to do “repairs.” So the cord was old, shorted out, causing my Internet download speed to plummet, after being out for almost an hour…while the land line stayed out. A simple cord replacement was all that was needed. If they told me to try a new cord in the first place, I wouldn’t have had to go through all this anxiety and waste of my, and their, time! Well that was quite a scary ride…like when I was a kid getting on a roller coaster for the first time.

Thank you for your insight, Voluptuous Melvin.

by voluptuous Melvin » Sun Jan 17, 2021 10:37 pm

It’s tricky to diagnose, Zeke. The Chronic equipment often can detect the location of a short that’s outside the home, but the equipment has challenges troubleshooting when the issue is within the home. Phone cords don’t fail that often, and usually, the Chronic folks work from most likely suspect to least likely.

by ezekielk » Sun Jan 17, 2021 11:08 pm

Of course phone cords don’t fail that often…that’s why it happened to me! Shit always happens to me, but not to anyone else. I feel like the world’s sin eater.

Thanks for your reply.

by voluptuous Melvin » Sun Jan 17, 2021 10:37 pm

It’s tricky to diagnose.

by ezekielk » Mon Jan 18, 2021 8:15 pm

I’m sorry, but that just doesn’t make sense. The FIRST thing Chronic should do is tell the DSL customer something like:

“This is rare, but it happens. So the first thing you should do is replace your telephone cord, because sometimes that’s all that needs to be done.”

Look at all the time and work wasted because that simple instruction was never given! My impression is that since DSL is going the way of the dailup modem, technicians are losing basic knowledge around DSL. Furthermore, I’d say that a sudden drop of both Internet and phone is a sign that, yes, replace the phone line and see what happens next. For that WOULD be the “most likely suspect.” Sounds to me like you’re just making excuses. What, in my case, after hearing my original complaint, would YOU say is the most likely suspect?

I have a hunch there is NO need to send a technician out to my place again, including AT&T. I’m guessing there IS no more of my line being “a lot slower and all over the place,” as Jacob stated early in this thread, now that I have installed a new phone line. Shouldn’t that be checked now, before going through the motions of another visit? I mean, you’d THINK that, after I reported everything’s working fine again, someone at Chronic would do another remote check, to see if everything’s all cleared up. So why hasn’t that happened? It would save your company both money and time.

---

My latest message exchange to the Chronic forum, dated 1/19/21 through 1/21/22:

by voluptuousmelvin » Tue Jan 19, 2021 5:57 pm

It’s not my company. I’m just another customer.

I had to replace the DSL filter on my line several times.That’s not even in the Chronic technicians’ script, because they’re not expected to fail at all, yet mine did. Chronic sent me several to have on hand so that I could make a replacement when the line became unstable.

==

by ezekielk » Tue Jan 19, 2021 7:40 pm

I hope they didn’t drag things out for you, before resolving the issue! The DSL line is not expected to fail, yet it happened to you more than once? Incredilble.

by georgehr » Wed Jan 20, 2021 12:28 pm

That is the unfortunate fact about copper infrastructure has numerous points of possible failure and is essentially assembled of various parts and elements that are in some cases quite old. While it is easy in hindsight to ask “why was this not asked first?” voluptuous Melvin is correct, the telephone cord being at fault is rare and less likely than the things we suggest first. Furthermore, it is typically poorly received for us to suggest the customer’s equipment is at fault as a first order of business. We will typically only begin suggesting customer equipment after having ruled out our own.

==

by ezekielk » Wed Jan 20, 2021 4:01 pm

georgehr wrote:

Furthermore, it is typically poorly received for us to suggest the customer’s equipment is at fault as a first order of business. We will typically only begin suggesting customer equipment after having ruled out our own.

I disagree, because replacing the telephone cord is the SIMPLEST thing to try, so should be tested out first, before anything else. It is also EASY to do…so easy in fact, no technician is required. And if it doesn’t solve the problem, you can move on to other things which may be more costly and time consuming to resolve. A new cord costs very little…so little, in fact, Chronic could provide it for “free,” as part of the service already paid for by the customer (assuming he’s using a Chronic assigned gateway). I don’t think the customer would be the least bit offended, if worded diplomatically. And you’d have a VERY happy customer as a result of resolved the issue so promptly, if that’s all the problem was.

In fact, it strikes me that a failed cord is probably more common than one might think, due to its constantly being moved around, stepped on, and accidentally yanked. Same goes for the DSL line, in some cases.

At any rate, I’ll be sure to be home tomorrow at 1 o’clock sharp, to welcome the Chronic and AT&T techs with open arms! Though no one from Chronic has emailed me yet, to verify the appointment.

==

by voluptuousmelvin » Wed Jan 20, 2021 10:49 pm

ezekielk wrote:

I hope they didn’t drag things out for you…

Chronic support was very responsive and put a lot of time into working with the line (I had Fusion X2 service, over copper). The line would work awesomely for a while, but then, on the line graphs, I could see where the sync rates on line 1 would go crazy. Chronic technicians visited my house several times, Chronic and AT&T ran diagnostics many times, Chronic and AT&T did vendor meets, and so forth.

The worst part is the issues with the erratic sync rates were intermittent, mostly occurring April through October. From November through March, the line was mostly stable.

Chronic tests showed AC current was present on my line, and theorized that it might be due to the PanaChronic cordless phone I had hooked up. We agreed, however, that the cordless phone uses DC current–that’s what the wall wart provides to it! This was verified when I left the phone unplugged and the current was still detected on the line.

Techs tried typical steps such as limiting the bit rate, and yet at some point, intermittent noise would occur, and then it would resync even lower. We finally agreed that no matter how low the cap, when the noise occurred, the resync would be lower than the cap. so we left it uncapped. I learned to check the sync stats periodically and record them, so that Chronic would have the information. I got into the habit of forcing the modem to resync multiple times a week. Most of the time, it would immediately sync at the usual rate, but sometimes I simply could not get it to sync and be stable.

One trick that I learned was to unplug everything: the MPOE test jack, the DSL filter, the phone line to the modem (at both ends), and the phone line to the phone (at both ends). On more than one occasion, this seemed to get it to sync when it was having issues. I started wondering if the various connections might be corroding, and unplugging and plugging might be cleaning the contacts. shrug

One day, out of frustration, I grabbed another filter out of the box and plugged it in, and for several weeks, the line stayed stable. When it went unstable again, I tried changing to another filter, and subsequently, the line was stable for another few weeks.

BTW, AT&T swapped pairs several times, and even did a port swap at the CO, and the issues persisted.

My theory is that somewhere along the path for line 1, the copper got close to some sort of equipment that threw out a strong EMF field, used extensively during the summer, and occasionally in the winter… perhaps a pool or hot tub pump, or something similar? I was about 4,500 feet from the CO (although occasionally Chronic’s test equipment suggested that I was 7,500 feet–I suspect it sometimes got confused by whatever was causing the problems).

Chronic never gave up. Unfortunately, their hands were tied by using AT&T’s infrastructure, so some dispatches depended on the latter’s availability, and that wasn’t during a pandemic when many more households were demanding instant service. And AT&T is trying to abandon its copper network, so some technicians were more helpful than others.

I’ve since moved from that house. At my current home, I’m on IPBB X2, and I’m about 300 feet from the VRAD. I can trace the line its entire length, and I can verify that it’s not routed near anything that should be causing noise on the line.

==

by ezekielk » Wed Jan 20, 2021 11:37 pm

Well, that was such an amazing true story, so rich with detail, I am gobsmacked! You just made my day, my friend. It so happens I had to call 911 on a neighbor’s bullying teenage son tonight, who threatened to beat me up! This is the result of my sending a certified letter of complaint to the property owner (a big realty firm) about his “friends” hanging out in the hallway once or so per week for like two or three hours, being noisy, talking gansta (thus intimidating), and NOT WEARING A MASK! The manager did nothing about it, despite the two times I brought it up to him. So I sent my letter to the property owners, and a cc to the building manager, and to the son’s mom. Thus, this altercation ensued. He tried to intimidate me, but no such luck. I remained calm and stood my ground through it all, while his pathetic pipsqueak of a Universalist Unitarian mother stood nearby, wringing her hands.

So I returned to my hovel (that’s what I call my single room) and dialed 911…and thanking God that it’s working again, or I’d be up shit creek without a paddle! The cops FINALLY showed up, were very cordial, attentive and professional, and talked to these stupid neighbors, while I waited in my room for the cops to return and give me a report. They basically said they warned them they are breaking the law in several ways, which is what I hoped they would say, as this was a good show of force to let them know I am NOT scared, just royally pissed. Her son is a big, athletic dude, 6’1″, all of 17 years old, and I am a scrawny, white 70-year-old eccentric author only 5’7′ in height. So it was a VERY interesting day, topped off by a most incredlble true event re. your outrageous experience with Chronic ISP. I’m composing INCREDIBLE tales these days, and I invite anyone here, to take a gander:

Brindlekin Tales

==

by voluptuousmelvin » Wed Jan 20, 2021 11:59 pm

I think that if anyone deserves fault in my experience, it’s the owner of the poorly maintained copper. As I mentioned, Chronic was very responsive and kept pushing AT&T, but there’s only so far that one can push a mountain.

==

by ezekielk » Thu Jan 21, 2021 12:05 am

I can agree with that part, thanks for the telling of a most interesting cyber-debacle. My situation is, however, quite different…and thank Cthulhu for that. It was basically a simple part that failed, and AT&T, the eternal scapegoat, had nothing to do with it.

==

by ezekielk » Fri Jan 22, 2021 10:29 am

My connection and DSL phone line are now working properly. But I’m afraid if I hadn’t made a big stink about it, I would’ve had to wait in line until the end of the month, before any tech person would even come out. That doesn’t seem fair for any customer…let alone myself who, without phone access, would’ve been in really deep doo-doo, because I’ve suddenly gotten embroiled with some vulgar neighbor down the hallway who’s harassing me and the doggies. If my DSL phone line were still not working, I wouldn’t have been able to call 911 (as I have been threatened with violence), or contact the property owners, or even the building manager for that matter. Also, I wouldn’t have been able to continue my search for a literary agent, or update my stories on social media for almost three weeks, and perform other tasks vital to my vocation…at a crucial moment in my efforts to expand my readership fan base, which has just begun to take off. All that would’ve collapsed, without access to either a telephone, or the Internet.

So, while I”d like to say “thank you immensely,” I cannot do that, in all honesty. The technicians who came out were all excellent, BTW…I give them the highest rating, realizing they are not responsible for the convoluted infrastructure mostly controlled by monopolies, that we must all deal with. I suppose most customers have some sort of emergency backup for their Internet and phone, which is, obviously, a smartphone or tablet with cell service. Especially one which can be tethered. Or one can use a bluetooth keyboard and, perhaps, an external bluetooth monitor. So now I know what I’m gonna spend a chunk of my next stimulus check on. I can NOT afford to be without a phone or Internet connection for even a single day, as things are moving so fast in my life right now. This would NOT have been the case, but for the pandemic, because, before then, I could readily go to a coffeehouse or library and use public wifi. Which is why I’ve also invested in a VPN. But now, things are rather different. In fact, public wifi had been my ONLY access to cyberspace for at least several years by now…and I was perfectly happy with that.

I subscribed to Chronic.net as my first broadband service ever…figuring I can manage the expense, even though my sole income is Social Securty. (Rent control has saved my life; if not for that, I’d have died on the streets a long time ago.) But once the pandemic hit three months after I began using Chronic, I realized what a stroke of good luck that was, timing-wise. So, lesson learned:

You can’t even rely on a single source for your internet OR your phone line..ALL Internet services based on DSL are gonna be a headache sometimes, for connection problems. But as far as all available ISPs out there in the Bay Area, Chronic is probably the best option overall.

Thus, I’ve reached the point where I MUST get a smartphone with cell service…I’ve held out long enough. This is gonna be difficult, financial wise, though the next stimulus check will be a godsend. Of course, I’ll look for the cheapest possible deal.

Thank you for everyone’s patient and kind input here, BTW. My New Year’s gift to everyone living on this planet, is a hilarious, short, satirical sci-fi piece called “2021 is going to be a FANTASTIC year!” If you’re in need right now for a good belly laugh (and who isn’t) click here and you’re on your way to chuckleville:

2021 is going to be a FANTASTIC year!

The Doggies Start to Eat Again!

[BRINDLEKIN TALES – Book 2: Chapter 2]

Click here to visit Jeffrey’s online store.

Subject: Doggies started to eat again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 7, 2021 11:22 PM

They began enjoying a few of their chicken-chew treats, then I brought out the remaining half of the roast hen that I placed in the fridge, pulled off a couple of small pieces to see how they’d like it or not. Sure enough, they gobbled it down! So I went ahead and stripped ALL the white meat off the bones, breaking it up into doggie bite-size pieces, and nuked it in the microwave…then divvied it up between two dog bowls. When I went to carry the bowls to the sink area where I have them drink and dine, they were already jumping around me. A fine little feast was had by all! I just hope we can get back to the kibble and gravy-style canned foods soon. I can’t afford a whole roasted bird every day for them! Once a week, yes.

Oh, and they’re both drinking plenty of water again. Huzzah!

• Zeke

---

Re: Doggies started to eat again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 8, 2021 12:58 PM

That’s a major relief. Any theories as to what was up with them? Something Deek fed them, maybe?

No, I’ve had them for so many straight days now, that can NOT be the problem. I’m thinking maybe it’s all this cold weather that’s been going on for a LONG stretch, with even daytime only a few degrees warmer. Or perhaps recovering from the trauma of a harsh street life, which didn’t kick in till awhile later. Perhaps lack of exercise. Those are my educated guesses. There is NO sign of parasitic infection. They remain bright and sweet natured as always.

This morning, Taco ate a whole can of the Pedigree gravy-style “Chicken & Brown Rice” entree…but Wiley only noshed a few bites. She sometimes eats the chicken-chew treats, but not every time. This is kind of a flip-flop, since yesterday Wiley ate more, while Taco ate little. It’s balancing out in a sketchy manner. I have no idea what I should try next, such as purchasing a couple of chicken breasts and cooking them myself. At least it will cost me a lot less than a rotisserie chicken! There is also a pricey pet-dog store just around the corner, that serves healthy treats and food in bins. I’ll drop in there later today with the doggies, and ask them to let me try out a small handful of some of their product…and glad to pay for the samples.

It’s amazing how well housed trained these brindlekin are! They always let me know when they have to relieve themselves…and with plenty of time to gather everything required for our next walk (jackets, leashes, poop bags, my shoes and smartphone). Either one will pace the floor with emphatic “esprit,” pausing by the door and gazing up at me with a most sincere, dachshundly expression, so as to make it very clear there’s no mistake that nature is calling once more. In fact, Wiley started her pacing at 4:30 this morning, so off we went to the empty streets in the quietest time of night. Though that’s not saying much, as a garbage truck was doing its thing nearby, first on my stretch of Market Street, then up Noe, where I always take the dogs for their poop-‘n’-piss.

Wiley will also start scratching on the door to let me know things are getting urgent. Last night they both chose to stretch out alongside my torso, one overlapping the other vertically, when I crawled into bed. Later into the wee hours, they both migrated around my feet and calves, thus keeping me toasty warm down there. They ALWAYS radiate boundless good cheer the moment I arise to start a new day. My heart sings for many reasons, these days…and it all started with Taco, then a bit later, Wiley!

I now ALWAYS keep the smartphone in a pocket whenever I step out, with or without the doggies. Because it contains that video of Deek’s contract. Just in case any street person questions if I’ve stolen his furry companions. And, of course, I also carry a small canister of pepper spray…but that is something I’ve always done ever since Pres. Clinton signed DOMA and DADT. On another note:

I JUST OPENED A NEW BANK ACCOUNT FOR MY GOFUNDME PROJECT! And the matching debit card will soon arrive in the mail. I feel like I’m creating a whole new reality not just for myself, but for the world…starting with a personal mission, then expanding into possibly the best dog charity service for the homeless…then spreading out even further into many other compassionate ventures, which I can only imagine but not predict, at this embryonic stage of a true miracle just starting to blossom. “Mighty oaks from little acorns grow!” On yet another note:

I conjecture that this January 16th will be an eventful day for me, seeing as that is the anniversary of Randolph’s suicide attempt when he shot himself, and survived. I’ve already written some articles about how, if I become THAT influential, I’ll create a NEW holiday season to replace our present one…which will stretch from December 30th (Randy’s birthday) to January 16th. And in light of these profound events now unfolding in my life, I imagine that the coming 16th will be some kind of astounding day…maybe not just for yours truly, but for the entire Castro District, or even the city at large. In comparing him to the Christos myth, I’d say his failure to kill himself is something to celebrate, a sort of resurrection; and that his crucifixion already occurred as a consequence of living through the worst ravages of wartime tragedy.

Did you sleep well last night? Your well-being is at the top of my list…for you are NOT just exceedingly important to me, but to many other good people. I’m sure the very BEST of your work is ahead of you, and not far off at all. I look forward to your next masterpiece with Great Expectations. (The Dickens, I say!)

• Zeke

---

Subject: The Morey I Know
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 9, 2021 12:34 AM

Over several months now, Morey (of the corner shop two blocks up Noe) and I sometimes discuss my lovely brindlekin, which he knows are kept by my homeless friend, Deek, and that I help out. Well, a few days ago he remarked how I treat them like a million dollars and I retorted, well, that’s how they SHOULD be treated; and he said well, you’re treating them a lot better than your friend does, he leaves them to sleep on the sidewalk at night, keeps them completely exposed to the rain and gets angry at them a lot. I told him if you don’t think I have endless heart attacks over this, you’re mistaken! And that’s why I have the doggies over so often, to give them respite from the streets and Deek’s sad neglect and short fuse. Well I wasn’t gonna say anything but now it’s outta the bottle, they shouldn’t even be outside in the rain, they’re just little dogs, he said and I said yes you’re absolutely right. If you’re homeless and want a dog, get the large furry kind, like a Siberian husky, not the thin-furred and small ones, he added, and I said tell me something I don’t already know. (Though I still think it’s downright cruel to force ANY canine to live on the streets, no matter their size or hirsuteness…though I get his point.)

When I saw him today, with the loyal pups at my feet of course, I told him, well, the mutts are now mine! And explained the conflict that ensued, and how I wisely negotiated buying them off for $400. Thank God for that second stimulus check, it’s saved the doggies’ lives! Better have it in writing, he warned, but I said that wasn’t possible, he was abhorrent over the very idea, as he was with including a reliable witness, but he finally conceded to a video recording of our transaction, because I sort of forced his hand. I even called 911 because he was so out of line that day, and no way was I ever gonna surrender these darling pooches unto a horrid existence to a crazy speed freak, with whom they’ll likely fall ill and perish sooner than later. Well, I don’t know Zeke, he admonished, you know how people are about their dogs, this could cause you a lot of trouble. I assured him I have this under control, Deek lacks the wherewithal for any effective retaliation, and that when you know you’re doing the right thing, you stand your ground. Besides, those young men who work at the smoke shop next door to my building HATE Deek, so that’s a plus for me. (I used to resent their noisy, big-shot braggadocio swagger and commiseration right out there on the sidewalk till late at night, non-stop yadda-yadda for hours. But now I praise all the saints and angels in heaven for their presence.)

Upon leaving Morey’s friendly little liquor and grocery and sundry establishment with my brindlekin dancing on their leashes, I felt a bit wobbly in the knees because he projected certain fears that gave me a slight anxiety attack…which, however, I overcame in a few short moments. I am NOT about to obsess over some bogeyman named Deek who’s gonna pop out of the blue when I least expect it, and slay me with slashing, flashing, gnashing knives of revenge! I then proceeded back hovel, but first stepped inside Jeffrey’s Natural Pet Foods shop just two doors down from Rosenberg’s, that sells gourmet dog food and treats. Expensive, but I gotta find SOME way to end their failed appetite.

So I asked a friendly, dyke employee what snacks and food does she suggest for my two doggies here, whose appetite went south just three days ago. Well, she worked the magic like a champ, handing them sample after sample of various treats by dropping them one by one on the floor, before their cute little schnozzolas. Both Wiley and Taco scarfed ’em up! They were “leather chews,” but really thinner and crisper than you’d expect. I got five slices each of duck, turkey, chicken and boar (yes, you heard me: “boar”)…cost me ten buckaroonies for scant ounces…at fifty-two dollars a pound! As for canned food, she highly recommended the pumpkin blends by “Farmina N&D.” $4.87 for a ten-ounce can! So I purchased the following three: Quail Pomegranate, Duck Cantaloupe and Boar Apple.

Upon returning hovel, I first offered them a couple of leather treats, each about three inches long and two wide. Broke them up into smaller pieces and before I knew it, they had vanished from my hand! Next I opened two of the cans and put the contents in separate bowls. THEY LOVED IT! Leaving, however, about eight percent behind…don’t know what’s up with that. Then, like a rolled up, compressed Japanese paper flower in water, they grew feisty and happy and full of playful energy, trouncing each other upon the bed, and burrowing beneath the comforters in silly jubilation! “Well, this is gonna cost me an arm and a leg taking care of them, I see that now,” I thought. “Better get that GoFundMe project flying ASAP.” But I also thought THIS intriguing observation:

“How convenient that, what with the perambulatory restrictions due to the pandemic, and further such restrictions due to my brindlekin, how unusual is it that everything I actually need is just one or two blocks away from me in any direction? And that I always seem to have at least just enough money for any crisis? Including the sudden, unanticipated stimulus money that allowed me to pay Deek’s ransom fee in the nick of time, before the doggos would be lost to me forever!”

Oh what a frabjous day this has surely turned out to be, Tara! I chortle and burble with glee! Wiley, Taco and myself are a trio of happy campers tonight, languishing in the radiant aura of canine devotion, love and joy. As for the Duboce Quadrangle Newsletter, in which my New Year’s parody is supposed to be featured on Friday (and it is now evening of that day):

Nothing, yet. For some reason they’re delayed in delivering them to all the local shops and bars. I dropped into Rosenberg’s just a half hour ago, and no success. Hmm, has my hilarious tale of the happiest possible death for everyone, some time this year, gummed up the works of their printing press app? Or did they just laugh themselves into oblivion before they got to tap on the “print” button? Only your hairdresser Yog-Sothoth knows for sure!

---

Subject: I forgot to add…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 9, 2021 1:12 AM

…this following vignette, which should be inserted just above the next-to-last paragraph with word “frabjous” in it:

Before I forget, I had this slip of an encounter with my semi-Fascist neighbor Moe, while approaching the corner of Market, Noe and 16th after leaving Jeffrey’s Natural Pet Foods shop. He was at the curb, preparing to cross and chatting with Kevin Bond, our building manager. I paused about fifteen feet away, when Moe turned his head to me and said, “Oh, you’re dog walking now?”

So I cleverly answered: “Well, it started out that way, but now they’re mine!”

Then the light turned green and I strolled across the intersection with Wiley tugging at the leash and Taco gripping my pants’ right-leg cuff, causing me to hobble like a war veteran with an old wound, as yours truly got us to the gate in one mongrel piece and entered. Yet Moe and Kevin remained in close commiseration all the way over there on that now-distant corner.

I’m sure Kevin will tell him all about it, since he now knows my doggie adventure and how it’s tied up with Deek, thanks to Dieter’s friendly gossip on the stairs two days ago. They seem to have become close friends over the years (Moe and Kevin that is). What, however, is MOST curious, is that the idea of sharing my brindlekin with Moe, in order to ease his grief over his likely-dying mother, started haunting my mind for the past two days. I kept having images of my emailing him, telling about these sweet little mutts, and how he’s welcome to have their company for a satisfying while each day, or whenever. (I’m thinking around an hour or two, perhaps longer.)

And now this afternoon, there is Moe, seeing me with the canines for the first time! How synchronistic and lovely is that?

---

Re: I forgot to add…
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 9, 2021 8:58 AM

Sounds like har-fucking-monic convergence to me!

Hardy-har-har-fucking-monic convergence, that is. I’m certain the manager is on my side finally, with keeping the doggies in my room, since he is now aware I’ve taken them from Deek. Oh, this is a funny thought that just leaked across my brain pan:

How hilarious to think of manager Kevin’s impression of my simply stating outright before him and Dieter yesterday:

“Deek is abusing these dogs, so I just took them away and want to press animal abuse charges against him, I called 911 and the cops are on their way, and they’re very sweet doggies who deserve better, and I’ll be moving within two months or so anyway, because I now have an excellent publishing contract for my next book which is bound to become a HUGE bestseller. In fact it’s called ‘Brindlekin Tales’ and is all ABOUT Deek and his doggies.”

Besides which there’s a powerful air about me that I will not permit a single crack of doubt to leak through my world’s cranium that would ever make me even THINK of not keeping the mutts with me. So what point would the manager have by telling me I need to give them up? Or even posting a notice to my door, warning that I could be evicted, as a result? It’s OBVIOUS to all but the most troglodytic, that the moment I am challenged by lawful opposition of whatever sort, I will immediately gird my loins and fight back, and win. There is not one single molecule of doubt in my reality, so you’d better not mess with me or the pups, or you’ll have hell to pay for a VERY long time. And I can get away with it, as no one will ever be able to track down the source of this particular homicide.

So now, I’m sure, Kevin told Moe all about it! I’m sure by this time of night, Moe has already been musing over, and laughing at, my latest divine exploit. Whaddya wanna bet he’ll politely ask if I could spare my doggies for awhile each day, where they’ll have more space to run around, and he’ll cover some of the food and any vet costs that might crop up?

Even funnier is that today I emailed Kevin that ATT repairmen will soon drop by to figure out why my DSL land line died since two days ago…and in that email I kept my three-link Brindlekin sites in the sig, starting with my doggy wish list and GoFundMe project! Won’t THEY be surprised to discover they’re both IN my tales! In fact, maybe they’re worrying about that right now, though have yet to start reading my stories to find out. But I sure got two people highly motivated to do just that! I’ll gain my adulating audience one way or another, even if that means robbing a bank and kicking Arwyn in the ass while he’s hauling bags of money from the vault, in a lavender wheelbarrow with a pink triangle on it.

---

Subject: Now they’re NOT eating again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 9, 2021 10:13 PM

I gladly returned today to Jeffrey’s because their high quality canned dog food was a success. But this time, they only ate half a can between them, with Taco ingesting most of even THAT. I wound up feeding Wiley those even pricier leather treats…but of course Taco was sitting a foot away on the cot, watching me with those pleading, round dachshund eyes, so I just had to give him some of that, too. Judiciously granting him tinier portions, of course. So now, the gourmet duck and boar dinners sit in their respective bowls without a hungry guest to enjoy them. Boy do I hate the very idea of throwing all THAT away, but I must do what I must do.

And, to make matters worse, I’m having major problems with Chronic.net service. No phone connection whatsoever for three days, now. And the Internet connection just went out again for twenty minutes, but came back on just now. How much longer will I have even THAT. At which point I can’t even inform them that I’m totally cut off. And why is that (some dump fuck might ask)? Because I’D BE TOTALLY CUT OFF! I already posted you my irate reply to Chronic employee, Isolde, who emailed me directly, so you already have a good idea of my present cyber-dilemma. My Internet connection could be permanently shut down at any moment, as my DSL land line already is! I don’t think ANYone from either AT&T Or Chronic actually dropped by. I did have to step out twice to walk the doggies and purchase groceries, but that’s it. NO sign of either company tech showing up. And it’s now after eight PM, with nary another email from Chronic, goddam fuckers. I KNOW why this is happening: I subscribed to their cheapest service for broadband, DSL is now old-school, following in the footsteps of dialup. So, such low-end customers get treated like second class citizens. But I WILL have my revenge: I will EXCORIATE them in a blog entry soon to appear, called “Chronic DOT Net”…with that angry letter I sent off to Isolde, among other things.

The pandemic, of course, just adds to the merry mix of demonic revelry, because I can’t just hop on down to a local library or coffeehouse for public wifi. I have TONS of excellent material to post on my WordPress site, my creative juices are exquisite and gushing like a geyser. And now, THIS shit has to happen! So if I suddenly seem to disappear off the face of the planet, you’ll know I lost both Internet and land line services.

Oh, yeah, this afternoon I had a run-in with someone I’d rather not have had. Some wiry old dude around sixty or so on an electric scooter paused by me and said, while looking down on the doggies:

“Where’s your daddy these days?”

Took me a moment before I realized he meant Deek, so I told him:

“I’m Deek’s friend who’s been taking care of them through the cold weather and rains. But we both decided the streets are too harsh for these little pups, they’ll die out here. So we struck a deal where I became the new owner in exchange for a wad of cash.” I then stopped speaking to let it sink in, then added: “I have a video record of out verbal agreement, here on my smartphone.”

“Oh, ha, ha, I see,” was all he said, then scooted away.

Where is THIS gonna lead to? I’m thinking. Nothing I hope, but I’m certainly on the alert these days. On a better note:

Building Manager Kevin warmed up to the brindlekin today, as we three proceeded down the stairs and into the front lobby. There was Kevin fussing with the key to enter, and once he did, the dogs started to bark. But not such a storm as in the early days they were here, which shows progress. I told him they’re getting used to seeing others appearing in the hallway or stairs, and they’re less noisy and acting friendlier. He then lowered himself to extend a hand to both pooches; they had by then quieted down, commenced to sniff his hand, shoes, and pant legs…then backed off to bark once more!

“They’ll get used to you in a few more meetups,” I assured him. In fact, their barks ceased after a minute, and all was quiet on the Western Front again. But sure enough, here came someone ELSE down the stairs and carrying Dieter’s hospital assigned wheelchair (IOW manual and cheaply made), so I rushed the dogs outta there before they had a chance to react. Before departing, I also told him to expect an AT&T tech repairman to show up, due to my suddenly dead land line, but I can’t hole myself up all day for someone who may or may not arrive. Now, back to a NOT better note, again:

On top of all this, there’s my hovel’s leaking radiator. Which commenced shortly after the pandemic restrictions came down. Kevin arranged to have a worker check it out, so I hanged outdoors for three hours, that they may get the job done without my presence…and hopefully they’d keep their mask on throughout the entire process. Turns out they could never get the time right (whoever they were: I think our main building worker, Juan, who was supposed to track down someone who really knows radiators, but couldn’t find him at home where he said he would be), so I wound up wasting four hours staying outdoors.

“Wasn’t this supposed to be fixed last year, Kevin?” I queried. He didn’t really answer that, but that was indeed the case. Looks like the so-called repair was half-assed, and it had to be done all over again. He suggested we try again in a week or so, but I wouldn’t hear of it, told him I don’t want anyone in my room because COVID-19. He obliged me, even though at that time a lot of folks didn’t think it was that serious (and I guess that included him), so kinda were sloppy with social distancing and such. But I wasn’t, I knew better, plus I’m 70 years old. As a consequence, the radiator continues to leak copiously, and I must empty the rubber-plastic dish basin I stash beneath the leaking bleeder valve, three times through the night. ‘Cause if I don’t, the leak will accumulate and begin dripping through the floor and into the lobby entranceway, right between the front gate and double doors, to cause a most impressive puddle right smack dab where residents and visitors and delivery people step in and out. And, yes, sometimes I forget, and the entranceway floor is like a pond, which must be dealt with immediately…but the manager’s remained mum so far, and it’s been months since the problem began.

I think the only reason I didn’t discover that the original leaking hadn’t really been resolved was because we had quite a lengthy run of mild nights since the original “repair.” Now, we’ve been going through an unusually long cold snap that began in mid-October, and is still going strong with no end in sight. Just my rotten luck, to have this extra little pest add to my life’s burden, just when I’ve become busier in my life than I can ever recall. And that corner of the room where the radiator spits is difficult to crouch down in, and remove the the water-laden basin (and in so doing must rapidly replace it temporarily with a SECOND container to catch the angry gremlin’s piss). Cramped between two cabinets as I am, with one heavy cabinet I have to slide to the right (along with the two storage bins, one atop the other) three or four times a night. Which puts me at risk of a second degree burn if I’m not very careful. I never told you about the radiator before, Tara, but now you know.

Why all this crap is happening to me at once is pretty obvious to THIS flustered pilgrim. I am about to make THE major breakthrough in spiritual growth ever, and probably for ANY human being ever, as well. So of COURSE the bodhisattvas assigned to watch over me are having a field day messing with my world. Until said time that all barriers are removed, all veils are lifted, and all homophobes are castrated, tarred and feathered and, finally, drawn and quartered in the village square! And that time, I surmise, is but seven days away:

The sixteenth of January, the anniversary of the day in 1985 that Randolph Louis Taylor attempted suicide beside the Vietnam Wall Memorial in D.C., at the point of a midnight special held in a not-so-steady hand thank God.

• Zeke

---

Re: Now they’re NOT eating again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: Jaunary 9, 2021 11:20 PM

AS long as the dogs are peppy and drinking water, they’re okay. But MOST mysterious that they’re BOTH exhibiting appetite problems at the same time. It could possibly be that they sense a major change in their little lives, in the form of the absence of Deek, even though he didn’t always treat them well. Dogs are like that. I suspect they’ll get over it and eat normally again.

That is QUITE possible, along with some residual trauma from living on the streets for such a prolonged cold snap and rainy days and nights. When I was walking the doggies earlier tonight, I ran into Carra (spelled with two Rs she said), that cordial young woman at Jeffrey’s Natural Pet Food shop. She was just stepping out, about to lock up for the day, when I came up to her and said the high value dog food didn’t work at all this time around. So we had a nice little chat, and before departing, she ran back inside to return with a couple of those pricey leather treats for the mutts, because I had just told her they’re now the only stuff they WILL eat. “I call these dogs high maintenance dates!” I quipped. Anyway, the place is a godsend, and I’m SO glad they’re right around the corner.

Such a bummer about Chronic. I’d be lost, utterly lost, without the net. And yes, you especially need it now, in the midst of your whirlwind of creativity. You can still compose offline and post later, of course. I try to remember my life pre-internet. How did I manage?? Those gibbering techno-demons are real and have malicious intent. They KNOW exactly when to strike.

THEY HAVEN’T GOTTEN BACK TO ME! So NOW what do I do? I’m gonna blast ’em a good one on their forum…add it to the thread I already started re. my dead land line. It will include my angry letter to [name withheld], whom I will call Isolde in my upcoming blog entry. In that piece, I call the company Chronic.net (short for “chronic headache”).

Oh, God, the leaking radiator. I’ll tell you a little secret: our furnace has been busted for a few years now. Any heat we have comes from the wood stove, which, though it puts out good warmth, means hauling, splitting and drying wood, carrying it inside, starting fires, tending to them, keeping them going. I often wear my down parka indoors. They’d call Adult Protective Services on us if they knew….but just remind myself of all the money we haven’t spent on propane. Thousand$ by now.

Oh for God’s sake. Glad you got SOMEthing out of it.

16th of January, eh? I like the sound of it. Will be alert on that day!!!!!

Seven days and counting. Now, here’s an update on another matter:

When I went to the Duboce Food & Liquor, where Morey works, I hoped to finally get a copy of the Duboce Quadrangle Newsletter which was supposed to come out on Friday (yesterday), to see if they really HAD gone ahead and published my New Years sci-fi parody. As I waited in line to pay for a couple of boring items, I finally spotted a small number of the newsletters set in a vertical, clear plastic holder on the counter’s left end. Upon grabbing a copy, I saw it was dated some time in December! So I asked Morey if the latest issue came out yet. He said no, that it’s probably due to the pandemic, they can’t find people to deliver them. I told him why not, it’s not like they’d have to get physically close to anyone, there are people walking all over the neighborhood as it is! He just shrugged his shoulders, but I don’t think that’s the case at all, because it MAKES NO SENSE!

My conclusion: I think a lot of people are fucking with me, ’cause they’re bodhisattvas about to foist a surprise party to end all surprise parties on me.

• Zeke

---

Subject: Doggies started to eat again!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: MCN announcement list, MCN discussion list
Date: January 10, 2021 11:08 AM

On 2021-01-10 12:57, Jane Karanina posted:

I am so happy for the love that these puppies have brought to you!
Zeke- it’s a life so much better.
Be well
marilyn

Thank you Marilyn (or Jane). Just please keep in mind that a life so much better can NOT be achieved without first living a life so much worse. This is the story of Everyman and thus, of the entire human race. We are about to emerge (or blossom) into an incredible age of harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust abounding, no more falsehoods or derisions, golden living dreams of visions, mystic crystal revelation and the mind’s true liberation…Aquarius! 2021 is IT.

I have ALWAYS been a happy spirit underneath it all…and my remarks that some consider harsh are never anything more than putting certain wicked or foolish people on the spot. Well, either that or I was making a wittily sarcastic joke which some people fail to grasp. You can save some of the people some of the time, but you can’t save ALL of people all of the time…or can you? Lilith only knows I try! Or IOW:

Many are called, but few are chosen…so step right up for your lederhosen.

• Zeke

PS: And that token Nazi troll on the discussion list has served me well, playing one of the bodhisattva’s major roles as Ultimate Enemy, and thus sharpening my skills to overcome what remaining negative influences still haunted my psyche. For in both standing up against his many challenges of hatred, threats and other abominable expressions (which I most certainly HAD to do) and in finding a path through it all that would eventually lead to the most compassionate resolution possible…I have gained a tremendous boon of an advantage. A boon that not only benefits yours truly, but can liberate countless others through my wonderful tales, essays, poems and letters. As for the several OTHER right-wing monkey scumbags who ganged up on me, often doing so by hiding behind the Nazi’s skirt: I also give these incorrigible punks my most grateful kudos. You know who you are (except perhaps Harry Dork, who strikes me as stupendously dimwitted, for which reason should stick to his gardening tips and nothing else).

---

Subject: My Pooches are Crack Addicts!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 11, 2021 8:11 PM

The dogs are pretty much back to eating regularly, thank Cthulhu. The best appetite enhancer I finally came up with, is to crumble some of those pricey leather treats into their dog food. Jeffrey’s Natural Pet Foods store has saved the day! In fact, Wiley is so nuts about those treats, she regularly jumps off the cot and scampers about my room, sniffing for more. And if I ignore her long enough, she’ll start barking insistently, as if to say: “C’mon Zeke, I know you’ve got ’em stashed SOMEwhere!” Right now, they’re BOTH scouting around, pushing up the newspaper sheets I have all over the floor, with their schnozzolas, hoping to find some bits of leather tasties. They’re like crack addicts!

• Zeke

---

Re: OMG this just happened!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Tara Roosevelt
Date: January 11, 2021 8:18 PM

Read the blurb that goes with it (click on video, then click on “Youtube”):

---

Subject: Pups…eating.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Corrine DeMaars
Date: January 12, 2021 11:45 AM

Hey Zeke!

Wanted to let you know I’ve had dogs my entire life. This I know about. Dogs need at least one daily walk…an hour would be great. Exercise is monumental in their attitude. Nutrition like you’re worried about is absolutely important.

If the dogs aren’t eating get a cheap bag of hot dogs. Rinse the hot dogs. Cut one into 6 strips lengthwise. Then cut into tiny tiny squares. Dogs don’t know portions so tiny is fine. (freeze the rest because you don’t want them to have much…very fatty.) These are rare treats. So put a tiny bit on their kibble. They will eat. Small dogs like your 2 will only eat generally 2 times a day 1/4 cup each time. Treats are limited.

You probably already know this. They’re sad right now so just walk em and cuddle em. Bring the hot dogs when you walk em. When they do something good…a treat. If they don’t want to do something…encourage them away from whatever with a treat.

No, they’re not sad at all…even during the period they would hardly eat a thing. Joyful and loving through the whole ordeal. But I already indicated that in my recent tales. They get LOTS of cuddling and kind words all day long…including group hugs about ten times a day!

Thanks for your tips, though. Yes, they normally eat just twice a day, and they’re back to that. And they have a great appestat, in that once they’ve had enough, they STOP all on their own. They are definitely NOT gluttonous in the least.

I can NOT take them to a park or other grassy place for lots of exercise, at this time. It is just too risky, because no rabies tag on either, and I can’t afford to get them their shots all over again…at least, not at this time. Any possible conflict with another dog owner would ruin me, and them. I need some kind person’s use of a fenced in backyard, but I don’t know anyone who could offer me that.

Thinking of you and how great you’re doing! Good job.

Much appreciated.

Any dog questions and I’m your gal! This I know.

Roger that!

• Zeke

My Thinkpad Has A Brain Slug!

My refurbished Thinkpad X230 looks perfectly normal from the front. But when you look at the back of the screen, it’s got a whole different thing going on! What the frig is that bright red blob that looks kinda like some sort of alien sucker?

It’s actually an external, 256 GB SSD device connected via USB which arrived in the mail just four days back. And attached to the back with a tiny square of Velcro. Half of it is dedicated to whatever Linux distro I’m playing with at the moment…allowing my system to dual boot without messing with the main drive, which is 128 GB (also SSD) and installed with Windows 10 pro. The other half is formatted as FAT32, which I use for downloading torrents and Youtube videos with either operating system, as well as sharing documents and notes between Windows and Linux.

In case you’re curious about my entire setup, there is a second, 22-inch monitor to the left, connected via the docking station. Also attached to the docking station are: two USB HDDs (one 500 GB, the other 1 TB), USB mini-dongle for a solar powered external keyboard, and another dongle for an infrared mouse. There is a 64 GB SDHC card inserted into my laptop, where all my personal data is stored and secured with Bitlocker. (FYI all my important files and data are backed up to the larger external drive, as well as to the Google cloud.)

For superior sound, I use a pair of sturdy Logitech speakers also connected via the docking port. They are situated below my system, since it rests on a riser atop the desk…so that I can stand up while working, playing, or just browsing the ‘net. Thanks to the larger, second screen, I can also kick back in bed and watch any of my recently downloaded movies, TV shows or Youtube videos. And finally:

While lounging in my penguin PJs, the infrared mouse doubles as a remote. Voila!

Fed Up with FedEx

Created at:Mon, Jul 24, 2017 at 5:45 AM (Delivered after 0 seconds)
From: US Micro Corp – Amazon Marketplace
To: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: RE: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)

————- Customer message:

FedEx is giving me a hard time.

On Friday, they attempted their second delivery. I was home to receive the item, but they did not buzz my apartment number. I went downstairs to get some air, to discover they left a receipt! So I contacted FedEx’s customer service, asking them to send it instead to a local FedEx office. They said the only way they could do this, is if the seller indicated the changed address. I don’t get it, as I have proof that I am the intended recipient. I don’t know how you arrange change of shipment address, I’ve never been a seller.

————- Reply message:

We would be happy to assist you with this. Please call us for further assistance as that is the quickest way to address any issues with an order/item. Our customer support team would be happy to help you when you call. We can be reached at 855-876-4276 Monday – Friday 8A-4P EST. Please call us during these hours and we would be happy to assist you. We look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you,
US Micro Corp

---

Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:18:16
Subject: Re: Fwd: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

On Mon, Jul 24, 2017 at 12:32 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:

{{ Jesus. You’d think the FedEx delivery person could PHONE you and say, “Come on down.” I mean, they always ask for your phone number. Why not use it?? }}

The dirty little secret about these major delivery services, is they
really don’t want to bother with residential customers…their profits
are mostly from businesses that always have someone there, to receive the package. This happened to me once before, three years ago. The item’s value was $59. The delivery person never bothered to buzz me, after the first attempt. I wasted two whole days staying in my little SRO!

It got shipped back, so the seller reimbursed me…but I never got my money refunded. Because they go through Amazon…which sent me an email about a week later, saying that I have received my refund in full. Yet /no/ deposit showed up in my bank account records. And there is no link, no forum, no recourse whatsoever, to inform Amazon that they did /not/ reimburse my loss.

So they talk a big talk over how well they protect the customer, but
when push comes to shove, they do /not/.

I went to a FedEx office downtown, and told them I’m afraid I won’t get my package, so I’d like to have them leave it at a local branch, for me to pick up. They guy was nice enough, told me to call their 1-800 number, and they’ll arrange it. So I thanked him and stepped out…four blocks distant, it hit me:

“Why didn’t he just offer to set things up for me, right there…it
/is/ a FedEx outlet after all!”

I called customer service when I got home, but it was all automated voice recognition, which options did not apply to my dilemma…and I could not come up with any combination of words to reach an authentic, non-replicant human being. Yet somehow, some way, just before I was about to hang up, a real live agent spoke (or at least I think so, you never know these days):

“Hello, this is Enrico, how may I help you?”

He explained that to make this change of address, I’d need to get the seller’s signed permission first. What? They don’t just keep the package at a local station for a few days or so, that the customer may get it there? That’s what the USPS does. (Besides, this is /not/ really a COA request.) So here’s how it’s probably gonna go down:

I’ll call the seller, and they’ll offer to reimburse me. But I’ll say:
“Then I may as well kiss my $188 goodbye!” And explain to them that
this happened to me once before, and the refund never arrived, in
spite of Amazon’s claim that it did. And I had no recourse to register
my complaint.

I doubt they’ll offer to reship via USPS, even though I’m willing
to pay the fee. Because it all goes through Amazon, and they have
things semi-automated re. which delivery service they use. They can’t
step outside of the Amazon circle, to accommodate any customer.

And I’ll also be out of another $35 for the extra battery I ordered,
and the keyboard skin.

Well, online purchasing is a rich person’s game, and these services
never expect to deal with low income people. I shoulda learned my
lesson the first time around, and stopped buying through the Internet
when Amazon stole my $59. But I have gotten excellent deals on
computers and accessories online, that I can’t possibly find here in
SF. And not having a car, I can’t drive out to stores like Fry’s in
the East Bay, and other hi-tech outlets that offer excellent bargains.
Taking public transit is out of the question…I tried it once, and I
have to transfer twice, then walk almost a mile. Takes all friggin’
day, and carrying a package that announces “laptop” all over it, makes
me vulnerable to getting mugged. Standing around in unfamiliar
territory, waiting for a bus that may or may not come, does not suit
me.

I also found great gifts to get Larkin and my other friends, online.
This really sucks!

---

Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:27:35
Subject: Re: Fwd: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

Furthermore:

They were supposed to make a third (and final) delivery attempt on Saturday. But since I didn’t wanna hang out god-knows-how-long in my room, not knowing if they’ll buzz me or not, I ignored it and went to my usual coffeehouses to get online. Once I got home, there was no receipt showing delivery attempt in the lobby, nor was there any message on my answering machine! (AT&T will have to pry that land line out of my cold, dead fingers, FYI.)

Oh, and their receipt doesn’t provide a space to check off to just leave
it in the lobby. I went to their web site and registered, in hopes I can do something there. Well, you can’t change the delivery address unless you’re the seller! There is /nothing/ provided to clear up the situation they put me in…and I’m sure I’m not the first person this has happened to. Now they have my debit card number. What BS. I’m gonna unsubscribe now.

As for ordering online elsewhere: fuggedaboudit. I’d have to see
whether or not they use FedEx, blah blah blah. I’m pissed.

---

Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2017 13:31:03
Subject: Re: Fwd: Order delivery inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

On Mon, Jul 24, 2017 at 1:26 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:

{{ They’re also getting famous for just leaving packages on doorsteps, etc. They can get away with that up here, but in the city, POOF! It’s ripped off. }}

Our building manager told me they sometimes /do/ leave packages
sitting right outside the front gate. Can you believe that…smack dab in the middle of a highly trafficked artery! But I don’t think any of these
major delivery outfits are any good. I’ve had headaches with USPS and
UPS, too.

Amazon is run by right-wingers and libertarians, so it’s just as well.
Good riddance to ’em all!

---

Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2017 19:35:49
Subject: A happy ending!
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

Listen with your own ears: click here.

(Answering machine message from FedEx headquarters in San Mateo basically says they have my package, and offered to ship it to a local branch for pick-up.)

---

Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2017 22:06:27
Subject: Unbelievable! They forgot to include the power supply.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

Love my new refurbished system, but…

Now I gotta deal with FedEx delivery BS all over again. So it’ll be at
least a week (prolly 10 days) before I can even use the Lenovo x230.
This is torture, I should report the incident to Homoland Security.

---

Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2017 22:49:54
Subject: Re: Unbelievable! They forgot to include the power supply.
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

On Thu, Jul 27, 2017 at 10:09 PM, Eleanor Cooney wrote:

{{ Oh, fer chrissake. }}

Checking out that FedEx station near my SRO residency, while browsing the web, I was glad to learn they’re open until 11 PM. (Hurrah! I would not have to wait until tomorrow morning!) So I waited until 8:30, to avoid a long line. Wondering along the way if it will actually be there, or if I’ll have to go through more bullshit…maybe they shipped it back to the seller instead.

“Dammit,” I grumbled through the opposing flow of pedestrians, “That’s supposed to be the laptop I’ll be using when I skyrocket to fame!”

Once I stepped inside 1967 Market, I was pleased to see only one other customer, already closing his transaction with the Gyro-Gearloose-looking cashier. But then he started asking generalized information about their other services, after the employee handed him back his ID card, with the receipt. This went on for several minutes, during which time I grew impatient, and a little voice in my head echoed:

“You should start pounding your chest and screaming your lungs raw, for god’s sake!”

But I sensibly thought better of it, now that I was so close to (possibly? probably?) receiving My Elusive Holy Grail X230. The inconsiderate customer (whom I was glaring at like a gypsy’s evil eye) finally picked up his items and waddled into the gray twilight. My own transaction went smooth as a greased baby’s bum on a downsloping monorail track.

I was tickled pink to receive the carton, and opened it to insert the
notebook in my backpack, then departed with the box. As I marched
back hovel, it struck me square in the balls:

“Hey wait a minute, I didn’t see the AC adapter!”

Then I started to chuckle:

“C’mon, Zeke, you’re just suffering residual anxiety from this FedEx fiasco. It’s most likely somewhere in this box, taped to a cardboard flap or something. You’ll find it when you get home, no point in stopping now to check it out.”

I figured that’s indeed the case, thinking how absurd it would be to throw such a monkey wrench into the works at this point. Tossing the now-lightweight carton onto my bed, I removed my jacket and hat, peed down the hallway, then returned to reopen the package. I was in disbelief to discover the adapter was nowhere to be found. I felt like a sucker.

Somewhere in hell, a devil is laughing.

---

Created at: Fri, Jul 28, 2017 at 7:18 AM (Delivered after 1 seconds)
From: US Micro Corp – Amazon Marketplace
To: Zeke Krahlin
Subject: RE: Inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)

————- Customer message:

NO POWER SUPPLY! Finally, after much wrangling with FedEx (who claimed to have made 3 delivery attempts, but never bothered to buzz my apartment whenever they showed up), I got the item today, July 27. Very very nice, but sadly, you neglected to include the power supply!

————- Reply message:

Good Morning. We apologize for any inconvenience. We can either create an order to have one shipped to you or refund you $20.00 and you can purchase one from a local computer supply store. Please let us know how you wish to proceed.
Thank you,
US Micro Corp

---

Created at: Fri, Jul 28, 2017 at 12:54 PM (Delivered after 0 seconds)
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: US Micro Corp – Amazon Marketplace
Subject: Re: Inquiry from Amazon customer Ezekiel Krahlin (Order: 113-9357168-9361006)

Oh, just ship it please. It isn’t the end of the world…you sent me a
superb refurbished notebook, and I’ll just worship it on a makeshift
altar with flowers and candles, until the adapter finally arrives.

---

Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2017 23:06:52
Subject: Rubbing it in my face
From: Zeke Krahlin
To: Eleanor Cooney

Got this printout in the USPS mail today, from FedEx. See attachment.

Dear Ezekiel Krahlin:

Thank you for registering for FedEx Delivery Manager. Customized delivery options are now in your hands.

With FedEx Delivery Manager, you get packages your way. You can:

– Manage when, where and how your packages are delivered.
– Get notifications through the delivery process.
– View all your incoming and outgoing packages in calendar or list formats.
– Request changes to delivery instructions while your package is in transit.

And, that’s just the beginning. Check out these features and many more at fedex.com/delivery.

---

PC Matic Paddock

In reference to PC Pitstop’s article dated July 31, 2014: PC Matic Breaks Virus Detection Record on VB100’s RAP Test

[ Koinoniac Reader: let me cut to the chase and exclude everyone else’s comments, to share with you my own three cents. It always pays to get snockered up a bit, before participating in Tech Talk with a bunch of dweebs. I am referring here to my final repartee.]

---

August 12, 2014 at 9:22 am
Zeke Krahlin says:

What, no version for Vista? Softpedia doesn’t include that OS. And PC Matic has a poor rating of just two stars. See for yourself:

http://www.softpedia.com/get/Antivirus/PC-Matic-Home-Security.shtml

#

August 12, 2014 at 5:06 pm
PC Matic Support Team says:

@Zeke Krahlin:

Zeke: PC Matic works with Vista.

We hope you consider reviews posted by actual PC Matic users at other sites like amazon.com, download.com, pcmatic.com/testimonials.

#

August 12, 2014 at 8:06 pm
Zeke Krahlin says:

Okay, I just did. 3.9 stars out of 5. 190 customer reviews, 39 gave it just one star, four gave it two, and one gave it three. So I’m not impressed. When I duckduckgo’d “pc matic reviews” A slew of angry users on the first result page, alone. It may run on Vista, but I do not want to go there, now that I’m better informed. I’m totally pleased with my jerry-rigged suite of /free/ protection: MSE, PC Threatfire and Malwarebytes. Rarely do I catch a virus or other bad thing…but when it happens, it’s always nipped in the bud. And I mess around a /lot/ with torrent sites and freeware. I have two laptops, one runs Vista, another 7. Then a lovely android tablet.

#

August 13, 2014 at 2:52 am
PC Pitstop says:

@Zeke Krahlin:

Just to clarify – there are 2 Amazon listings for PC Matic.

100 Reviews – 4.3 out of 5

http://www.amazon.com/PC-Matic-5-PCs-Download/dp/B004KPKSRQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407898262&sr=8-1&keywords=pcmatic

#

August 12, 2014 at 8:15 pm
Zeke Krahlin says:

A blogging geek gave this review of PC Matic, and was not impressed. User comments below, not all unhappy with your software.

http://michaeljkarg.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-pc-matic-experience.html

#

August 13, 2014 at 2:50 am
PC Pitstop says:

@Zeke Krahlin:

Thanks for sharing. We hope Mr Karg updates his review that is now 3 years old.

Find attached a great example of a reviewer who took the time to revisit PC Matic:

http://www.cpapracticeadvisor.com/blog/11185802/blog-re-visiting-pc-matic

#

August 13, 2014 at 7:13 am
Zeke Krahlin says:

I just read the article /and/ the additional Amazon reviews, and have to say I am not as impressed as I’d like to be. But your company is definitely on the right track. However, when the reviews are bad, they are /very/ bad…often resulting in a totally crippled system solely because they installed and ran PC Matic. I have a very secure and safe system by using those three programs I mentioned in an earlier comment. But also with Ccleaner. I am talking about /free/ versions only. PC Matic seems to be a fusion of those four applications…with the severe disadvantage of great harm to a significant percentage of users. You don’t know me, but I’ve been around PC’s and cyberspace for quite a number of years. And have even contributed some applications and uniquely creative entertainment never accomplished before, or since.

I’ve been part of the computer underground since the early years (mid-80’s), and have assisted many new users on how to facilitate one’s access to cyberspace in order to improve their minds and livelihood. But my calling is on the application of global networks to enlighten people on the urgency of ending homophobia…mostly through tales, essays, emails, newsgroup articles, blogs, discussion boards and web pages. Were it not for my dedication to that particular cause, I could easily become one of your most valued contributors to matters of online security, especially when it comes to guiding the average netizen in the right direction for best results w/o risk.

Freeware security programs abound that in combination can exceed PC Matic’s level of security and privacy, minus any risk. In fact, I originated the concept of antivirus methodology by proposing the use of three major algorithms originally intended to secure the integrity of file transfers. I was extensively quoted in the now-defunct computer magazine Micro Cornucopeia, on just this subject. That was back in 1988. I’ve scanned that article years ago, which you can still read here:

http://gay-bible.org/truetales/micro-cornucopia.htm

Naturally, that link provides the gateway to all my other good works via cyberactivism…as the domain name is as plain as the nose on your face. The home page gives access to my WordPress blog, Facebook page, and Twitter account as well. So keep up the good work: more dedication and less snake oil, please. But even at this point of PC Matic’s astounding evolution, I can still direct users to totally free applications that do the same thing on a much better, and safer, scale. After such a scathing critique, it is only fair of me to add:

PC Pitstop’s newsletter rocks…one of the very best out there!

Most sincerely (and with a dash of CyberHumor):

Ezekiel J. Krahlin
Jehovah’s Queer Witness and long term hacker advocate (I am the founder of Berkeley Unix User Group born in January Y2K)

–
“A government is only as good as its operating system.” – Mighty Mouse Virus

Security Matters & Anti-Matters (or The Mighty Mouse Virus)
http://gay-bible.org/write/3_security.htm

–
I hope I made your day. We are all brothers in the electronic noosphere.